Wednesday 4 June 2014


Every year Elizabeth Queen of Scots and various other places, has the demeaning job of reading out the words of such literary luminaries as Dave Big Society Cameron, the posh boy; Gordon Moral Compass Nokia Broon, the clunking mobile; Pope Tony Blair I, the war criminal; John Egg Woman Underpants Major, the bore, and Margaret WE have become a Grandmother Thatcher, the loonie.

It is a ridiculous job for someone of 87 and should be delegated to a kitchen maid or under gardener at Buck House or anyone who can read.

The script is so leaden that even Larry Olivier would have had a job to put any life into it. Given that speaking has never been the Queens forté I found myself thinking that maybe they could offer the gig to Sandi Toksvig next year. She's every bit as posh and a lot more animated. Not sure she'd like the costume though!

It is ridiculous in the 21st century that the head of state be wheeled out to perform this preposterous  duty, which should, by democratic right, have absolutely nothing to do with her.

And at what cost?

I'm sure that it would be impossible to get a proper costing for today's meaningless event. They would cite security as the reason, but it must have cost tens of millions. They will say that it is great for tourism. Aye well, that's as maybe, but I'm not noticing any more tourists in Clachnacuddin, or Ecclefechan. So, I'm all right Jock Boris can celebrate.
The Queen was driven from Buckingham Palace to the palace of Westminster in a new state coach, which was the gift of an Australian. The poor man, one Jim Frecklington, mortgaged his house to pay the bill of $5 million. Nice gift to get for the woman who has everything. Trouble is "everything" includes a fine collection of state coaches. So maybe next time, Jim, you could get her a gift token, but not a Harrod's one. Since they accused her husband of murder she's had to start shopping in Liberty.

The contents of the Speech from the Throne (well it sounds like Cameron wrote it when on the lavatory, so I suppose it is appropriate) was its usual boring self. People complain that there are only 11 bills and that MPs will have an easy year doing next to nothing for their money (like that was something new). In any case they have a lot of "bills" of their own, settees and curtains to be purchased. After all some of them will pretty surely lose their seats, eh Danny, then who will buy their furniture for them?

Personally I think that the less they do, the less mess they are liable to make and I don't give a flying fig if they sit around on their back sides doing nothing all year.

Most of the new legislation will apply only to England, although I suppose Scotland had to pay its share of today's medieval pantomime. But again, that's fine with me. I really don't want that pile of toffs making any laws I have to live by and that they will end up making a good cash profit from.
Since the House of Lords took away Scotland's right to control fracking in the country, I expect the new bill making it legal for companies to frack under your house if they want to is a tad on the worrying side. But there are a lot of MPs and Lords with serious interests in fracking, so it is bound to pass with little fuss and a few greased palms. We just have to cross our fingers for September 18 on that one.

The only excitement of the day occurred when a pageboy fainted as the Queen was speaking, or droning on, about what her cack handed government was going to do. Right wing Tory MP Mark Pritchard gushed that: "The Queen carried on reading without interruption. As ever Her Majesty was the consummate professional." I suppose the oily little sod is aiming for a knighthood or a seat in the lords when his constituents get fed up of him.
In any case, I'd have had a great more time for a woman who as a mother, grandmother and great grandmother, would have shown a little concern for a fellow human being who was taken ill. After all, when the boy fell to the floor it could have been that he had died. 

Think how she could have endeared herself to people had she stopped reading Cameron's crap and shown some concern for the lad.

Kudos to Charles and Mrs Parker Bowles who appeared to have notice and may have even cared a little.


  1. Any word on which one of the four keeled over? It's just 2 of them are great nephews of Betty (Maggie's grandchildren) and you'd like to think she'd give a monkey's about family.

    1. I've not heard PP.

      Elizabeth's devotion to duty is rightly recognised and acknowledged as a strong feature of her reign. She has put her duty before everything.

      Unfortunately in doing so she has managed to produce 4 weird children who turned into weird adults and finally weird old people adn she seems to be practically inhuman.

      I'm sure that the Queen of Denmark would have stopped gibbering her idiot prime minister's trash and gone over to see if the kid was OK.

      There are some things more important that protocol.

      And yes, if it was one of her family, you do scratch your head in wonder at her.

  2. Bread and saps for a week by that insult to royalty for that scallywag then.

    1. Is that for the poor kid that fainted... or is it for Munguin for failing to do due obedience to HM the Q?

      He says he's not really bothered as the money he has made from his media empire will mean buying a seat in the Lords will be a piece of cake for him. He says he might even buy two!

    2. Of course the kid as that is an affront to democracy where people are supposed to bow in reverence to an unelected head of state that is what true democracy is having a vote like Syria or North Korea. Think that's right!

    3. You won't get me to disagree with that. This whole cuircus of bowing and calling people "Majesty" and Royal Highness" is beyond imagination absurd in the 21st century.

      So is spending money on horse drawn carriages, crowns and long frocks, and having black rod and blue rod and gold rod all dressed in tights, walking backwards and this woman reading a pile of lies that Cameron had written for him by some peon...

      What is it Ruritania. You keep on expecting someone to burst into a song from the Student Prince or The Grand Duchess Gloriana to give a speech about the pig breeders.

      I wouldn't mind them playing silly games with themselves if we could afford it, but we can't. People are starving and cold and ill and this bunch of tossers is worrying about a new coach.

      Pile of pillocks.

  3. Oh gee.....I missed the show. I'll have to go to YouTube to see Black Rod get the door slammed in his face and find out what Dennis Skinner said to him this year. I can't seem to find a good picture of the fainting though.

    The Queen's indifference to the matter simply reinforces the fact that the royals are incapable of the slightest spontaneous human response to any situation that's unscripted and unrehearsed. It brings to mind President Obama's state visit in which, at the state dinner, a misplaced music cue resulted in his making the toast to the Queen as the orchestra played the Anthem. It was awkward and embarrassing beyond measure......and yet the Queen and an entire table full of royals were frozen in place. A simple word and a bit of humor from the Queen or one of her disgusting brood would have defused the situation wonderfully. The royals were either being deliberately insulting and hostile, or they were simply incapable of the slightest human courtesy and spontaneity. In any event, they let the American President finish the toast, raise his glass, and watch the Queen stare straight ahead and ignore him and the egg on his face. Every time I see it, it pisses me off all over again. One thing that the royals might try to remember is the events of 1776-1781 and reflect on the fact that the American President is a very dangerous person to piss off. ;-)

    As for the poor kid who fainted, I felt sorry for him. On the other hand, I now understand that he's Viscount Aithrie, son of the Earl of Hopetoun. So he's aristocracy, and as a simple humble "citizen" of the American Republic, I think maybe I'll just say screw him. As an aristo, he deserves whatever he gets from the damn royals. ;-)

    1. Ha ha ha... Heavens yes, he would be an aristocratic kid... I mean ordinary people don't get to be pageboys to the Queen.

      Well, that said, they'll do anything for money in Britain so maybe if someone paid Cameron a lot of money, he'd make them an earl so their kid could do that.

      They do, the lot of them, seem to be absolutely stuck to some sort of formality which is way out of line with what normal people recognise as reasonable.

      If she couldn't find it in her heart to show some sort of pity to the president of the USA, from whose backside her prime minister rarely removes his head, then some poor child, even an aristo, has little chance of receiving any humanity.

      I remember hearing that when Diana was killed, and Elizabeth failed to leave her Scottish holiday home and go to the centre of the universe that is London (because even in the age of electricity , telegraphs, telephones and even the internet, being in Scotland didn;t count as BEING at all). Anyway, the excuse given was that she had to stay with her grandchildren Harry and Willie, to comfort them.

      I remember thinking ...oh poleeeezeeeeee.

      You don't expect us to believe that. I mean they might as well have said that she'd come down with bubonic plague.

      I should imagine that life went on as normal with a stiff upper lip. Philip probably took the children out to kill some poor unsuspecting Scottish wildlife. "No use crying over spilt milk; she dead, can't bring her back...let's go bag some deer."

      Pity?? Humanity? The British Royals????/

      ... My arse.