I thought as it was the weekend we might enjoy together the scathing report of FMQs from the Labour and Unionist supporting paper The Herald, wittily scribed by Tom Gordon.
"Bold Baillie fails
to strike blow against Salmond"
THE Swiss ambassador was in the gallery for First Minister's Questions;
it made a nice change from all that peace and neutrality. Johann Lamont was
away applying her best Politburo scowl to Tony Benn's funeral, leaving Jackie
Baillie to defend Labour's corner, but the feuding never skipped a beat.
Ms Baillie's strategy was, as they say, bold.
No, scratch that. Not bold, barking. And doomed. And hopeless. And probably on
fire as well.
It was - get this - to ask the FM to apologise.
Oh how we laughed.
She wanted him to admit he'd been wrong about Ed Miliband's plan to freeze
Seriously, why not put in a demand for a pair of space unicorns while you're at
With no prospect of Alex Salmond complying, the proceedings turned enjoyably
Ms Baillie accused the FM of "standing shoulder-to-shoulder with David
The SNP backbenches exploded.
Ms Baillie, they recalled, is a director of the Better Together campaign.
Mr Salmond could scarcely believe his luck.
"When you're in a Better Together campaign, not just shoulder to shoulder,
but hand-in-glove, umbilically linked to the Conservative Party, it's not the
best idea to come along to this chamber and try and associate people with guilt
by the Conservative Party," he crowed.
Ms Baillie never recovered.
By the end, she was asking feebly: "Is 'sorry' simply the First Minister's
Was it ever in doubt?
Returning to that Lab-Tory umbilical link, Mr Salmond gingerly held up a piece
"I have here the Argyll & Bute Conservative Party website," he
announced, before quoting from a recent notice.
"The Cowal Conservative lunch club. Venue Argyll Hotel. Secretary Pamela
Bellaby. Lunch, tea and coffee £10. Speaker - Jackie Baillie MSP."
As Ms Baillie did her best to shrug through the gale of laughter, some Nat MSPs
looked on the brink of incontinence - the far brink.
"I've heard of shoulder to shoulder," the FM galloped on, "but I
should tell the Labour Party, if you sup with the Tory party you should use a
At least Ms Lamont can rest assured Labour standards were maintained.
I suspect that means that when Jolo goes, as Jolo surely must, Ms Baillie's chances of succeeding just got decidedly slimmer!