Saturday 29 March 2014


I thought as it was the weekend we might enjoy together the scathing report of FMQs from the Labour and Unionist supporting paper The Herald, wittily scribed by Tom Gordon.

 "Bold Baillie fails to strike blow against Salmond"

THE Swiss ambassador was in the gallery for First Minister's Questions; it made a nice change from all that peace and neutrality. Johann Lamont was away applying her best Politburo scowl to Tony Benn's funeral, leaving Jackie Baillie to defend Labour's corner, but the feuding never skipped a beat.
Ms Baillie's strategy was, as they say, bold.

No, scratch that. Not bold, barking. And doomed. And hopeless. And probably on fire as well.

It was - get this - to ask the FM to apologise.

Oh how we laughed.

She wanted him to admit he'd been wrong about Ed Miliband's plan to freeze energy bills.

Seriously, why not put in a demand for a pair of space unicorns while you're at it?

With no prospect of Alex Salmond complying, the proceedings turned enjoyably frivolous instead.

Ms Baillie accused the FM of "standing shoulder-to-shoulder with David Cameron".

The SNP backbenches exploded.

Ms Baillie, they recalled, is a director of the Better Together campaign.

Mr Salmond could scarcely believe his luck.

"When you're in a Better Together campaign, not just shoulder to shoulder, but hand-in-glove, umbilically linked to the Conservative Party, it's not the best idea to come along to this chamber and try and associate people with guilt by the Conservative Party," he crowed.

Ms Baillie never recovered.

By the end, she was asking feebly: "Is 'sorry' simply the First Minister's hardest word?"

Was it ever in doubt?

Returning to that Lab-Tory umbilical link, Mr Salmond gingerly held up a piece of paper.

"I have here the Argyll & Bute Conservative Party website," he announced, before quoting from a recent notice.

"The Cowal Conservative lunch club. Venue Argyll Hotel. Secretary Pamela Bellaby. Lunch, tea and coffee £10. Speaker - Jackie Baillie MSP."

As Ms Baillie did her best to shrug through the gale of laughter, some Nat MSPs looked on the brink of incontinence - the far brink.

"I've heard of shoulder to shoulder," the FM galloped on, "but I should tell the Labour Party, if you sup with the Tory party you should use a long spoon."

At least Ms Lamont can rest assured Labour standards were maintained.

I suspect that means that when Jolo goes, as Jolo surely must, Ms Baillie's chances of succeeding just got decidedly slimmer!


  1. I'm not so sure about that Tris. I thought she kept the amazing LOW standard of Labour presentation at FMQ's amazing LOW, just as :Lamont would have wanted. So, when Lamont goes, hopefully not before 19th September, I reckon Baillie is a shoe in for the post of Last leader of Labour, North British Branch. LOL

    1. LOL... Well, I've heard of people with suicidal tenancies... I suppose parties have have them too.

      Fancy anyone who has spoken at Tory bashes as guest speakers and whose party has just voted against the low paid and the sick, and effectively for unlimited rents and low wages accusing another political leader of cosying up to the Tories. That's not just silly... It's monumentally stupid.

    2. "suicidal tenancies."

      Is that anything to do with the bedroom tax? :- )

      I really must watch FMQ on iplayer, it sounds a hoot.

      Any ideas about what cabinet member told the Guardian there would be a currency union with iScotland? Folk are guessing Danny Alexander or Vince Cable.

    3. Danny Alexander has denied it and said that it has already been decided by cabinet that it WILL NOT HAPPEN.

      He is really quite full of his own self importance. He apparently even suggested that Alex Salmond should debate with him over Scottish independence, becasue he was the most senior Scott in the government... Well, who's pleased with themselves then?

      As for Vince, I'd think that much more likely. He's actually intelligent; his doctorate is economics, I think. He probably realises that to do anything else would be economic madness for England, because Scotland will use the pound anyway with or without the consent of Danny the mighty one.

      I wonder if he has a constituency lined up with the Tories in England, or if he'll just accept the seat in the house of benefit scroungers for the rest of his days.

      The Jackie and Alex show is worth watching...

  2. Jackie (two dinners ) Baillie, is a despicable woman, to preach Labour's rhetoric then speak at a Tory lucheon is beyond belief, she personifies SLAB, devious lying, backstabbing, with their own interests at heart, a real trougher.

    Meanwhile another scumbag who seems to get plenty of page space in the London owned Daily Record is Douglas Alexander, today in the said unionist propaganda rag, trougher Alexander spews his guts out about the greatness of the union, and how the pesky wee Nats are horrible people.

    Trougher Alexander, has almost a full page of this dross, under a picture of Labour's John Smith, it seems Alexander is equating Labour with John Smith, an insult to Smith as Smith wouldn't recognise Labour now in fact LFI are now the real Labour party.

    As for the Scottish national newspapers, their's nothing Scottish about them, don't believe me? just ask their London based owners.

    1. Think this sums up the *ahem* Scottish press pretty succinctly Anon. :-)

    2. I wonder if she got paid for speaking at the Tory dinner or if she did it for love of the Tories?

      Douglas (shop you sister) Alexander is about as agreeable as his Tory namesake, Danny.

      This John Smith stuff is the new way to try to persuade people that they are a socialist party and that if they got in in England they would radically change Britain to make it a workers' paradise.

      It is an insult to John Smith who seemed like a decent bloke adn whose attempt to take Labour from the days of Michael Foot, and the Welsh Windbag to an electable party, was high-jacked by the war criminal and close associate of Neo-cons.

      It's a big insulting to bang on about this in the week that this Reeves woman is telling the Home Counties how she would beat the unemployed within an inch of their lives if they didn't take any job, and that those in work but starving to death can expect no mercy from her.

      God that woman has a voice nearly as annoying as her Tory counterpart the Vile blonde bimbo Esther.

      Talking of which, I saw her on the telly last night talking about housing... and making it sound like the bedroom tax was the saviour of the country, then getting in a terrible muddle about the size of houses that we were needing.

      She was telling us how many people were gasping to get into houses with 3 bedrooms... and that that was why people had to be pushed into moving to smaller properties... (NOTE: There is a shortage of 3 bedroomed properties... and then saying that they were going to build one bedroom properties).

      Never a mention of the number of people in debt or the people who have killed themselves over their situation.

      Wheat with people being killed off by Atos and the bedroom tax, the lower classes will be down to fewer than 4000 b y the time we get rid of the Tories.

      I think the best way to describe the Scottish Press is English.

  3. Perfectly sensible to equate the Labour Party with John Smith.

    Both are deceased, but Labour haven't been interred yet.

    1. LOL... never thought of that aspect, David.

  4. O.K. Tris admit it this was put up by you, go on admit we all know what you're like. LOL

    1. Hmmm... I cannot tell a lie, Arbroath.... It was Taz!

  5. Replies
    1. LOL Popular pic there....

      Wish it had been me...

  6. Did anyone like the song?

    Don't forget to change your clocks tonight.

  7. Baillie Lamont et all: the gift that keeps on giving. I'm no psychologist so I don't know the proper term for their ability to hold two conflicting views at the same time. I'm sure Baillie Lamont et all truly believe they are unlike the Tories.

  8. Better Together Lunching Together in Cowal - uplifting.