Tuesday 18 March 2014

Eddy Izzard shall speak unto the nation

Let's see if we get this right... what you are saying is that the UK would be smaller and less significant without Scotland? Do I understand that by "as a nation we would be so much smaller", you mean intellectually and culturally...?

So, it's all about you guys then? 

You've not stopped to think about us in Scotland? About us living under Tory governments we didn't elect, or Labour governments masquerading as Tories? You've not considered the nuclear weapons a stone's throw from a massive population centre (massive by our standards, I accept, not yours)? You're not thinking that while we spend half a million a day on nuclear weapons, half the kids in Glasgow are living in poverty? You're not thinking about how Scotland's fishermen and farmers are downgraded in the EU by being represented, not by their own ministers, but by English ministers? 

You're not thinking about the oil fund that almost every other country (or region) with oil has set up, and that Britain hasn't, because it chose instead to try to perpetuate its glory days of Empire, but like an elderly Thespian has been reduced to a supporting role in America's show?

If I understand you right it's what you'd lose that is important to you. It's Britain's loss that is the basis of your fund raiser for Better Together.

And you're bringing this plea for us to stay, and for us not to diminish your country to our capital?

OK. Just wanted to be clear about that. 

Of course it is your right to do this. You are an Englishman. You are a committed member of the Labour party and a friend of Tony Blair, who is already committed to running for London Mayor in 2020. You are a member of the smart set in London. You are a very talented and intelligent performer. You are, I suppose, what passes for a star of a sort, and you travel the world entertaining. Why not Edinburgh? 

I'm sure because you have a large fan base, that your show will be a big success.

You will doubtless fill the Festival Theatre and raise money for your cause so that your country won't be diminished by my country leaving it to try to find prosperity for its population.

Just watch, though, that some of the things you have said about the British Empire in your previous acts don't come back to bite you on the backside.

We do have a flag.


  1. "You're not thinking about the oil fund that almost every other country (or region) with oil has set up, and that Britain hasn't, because it chose instead to try to perpetuate its glory days of Empire"

    I'm not sure that last bit is the complete truth. Remember the 70s when politicians were telling us oil would quickly run out and an independent Scotland would be as poor as Bangladesh? It's a bit hard to persuade people of that when there is a multi-billion oil fund on the go!

    Still I'm glad somebody's telling Eddie "it's not all about you son"

    1. Ahhhh... that's why they did it, is it. The perpetuation of the empire was just coincidental LOL

  2. Aye.

    I think there is an inherent risk in supporting Better Together, its been pointed out that if there is a no vote, it'll be on the back of fear (also could be construed as cowardice) so an extremely grudging one for it.

    Six or twelve months later, anyone who endorsed a no vote is going to be the target of what might be a serious backlash when those who fell for Better Together's bullshit realise they voted no and got nothing except more austerity, even less democracy and a sham in place of further devolution.

    I'm sure Eddie Izzard isn't daft, he's probably fallen victim to the same propaganda a lot of people in England are victims of.

    A lot of people outwith the Scottish bubble (i.e. English folk) just don't get the independence debate. At best - they don't really understand how it feels being governed from a parliament in another country by a government they didn't vote for (they got a whiff of it while having a 'Scottish' prime minister...) At worst, they fall for the victim-England/chip-on-the-shoulder-ungrateful-Scots pish the press like to put about South of the border.

    Once you understand the ins-and-outs, a yes vote is a no brainer - as we know from all the debates that have taken place. Someone should put a list under Eddie's nose, see what he thinks of it.

    The flip side of that is all the negativity recently about business leaving, it hasn't made droves of folk move from a yes to a no.

    I don't know that it'll be enough (I'm hoping it will be) but from my tiny wee bubble of influence, I'm ramping up my efforts at turning folk to a yes vote - happy to say many are, unhappy to say some aren't and are totally closed to the idea but then; they're totally closed to most if not all new ideas anyway.

    These are the people who after a no vote will sit in tiny houses they can barely afford, freezing cold because while they live in an energy rich country they can't afford to put the heating on... Outwardly, they'll stick their bottom lip out petulantly and claim they did the right thing by voting no.

    But, as their toes slowly turn to ice, their belly rumbles and the final demands are thrust through the letter box - they'll know they made a terrible mistake.

    (Too melodramatic? ;-) )

    1. You're at your best when you;re being melodramatic....

      You know you are.

      But you are right. For years the parliament in London, quite rightly dominated by English MPs, made decisions on Scotland's separate education, health and legal systems. We were supposed to lap that up.

      Then when we got a parliament and the right to run our own education, health, law, etc, they got in a strop because we could vote on theirs but they couldn't vote on ours... forgetting that our funding was dependent on theirs and therefore what they wanted to do with education directly affected us financially..

      Of course it was and is a ridiculous situation. It's bonkers that we vote of their education bills because it's the only influence we have on how much is spent.

      And when , as you say, they were lumbered with 2 (reluctant) Scots as their prime minister, for a total of 13 years, they didn't like it.

      We didn't much like the Major, Thatcher, Callaghan, Wilson, Heath years... but who cared? (Come to that the 13 years with Scots prime ministers were dismal too!)

      I dread to think what will happen if we say no.

      Ming's plan... Lamont's plan...?

  3. Just to clarify Eddie, you are not asking all of these things about us staying in the U.K. just so that the Better Together sailing fleet can continue to dump nuclear waste in the river Clyde. Have I got that right?


    1. I read about that.

      I suspect as a staunch member of Mr Blair's New Labour, the answer to that is... so what? They are only Scots and mostly working class ones... what else are they going to vote but Labour.

      Dick Whittington Izzard isn't going to give much of a stuff about that, any more that Dick Whittington Johnson.

  4. Another rotten so called comedian, voicing his opinion,for what its worth, didn't Billy Connolly say about Holyrood, "Its just a wee pretendy parliament." Well Billy you're just a wee pretendy comedian.

    I see Glasgow city chambers is to be taken over by the UK government, during the Commonwealth games, to promote the values of a Great Britain, you can bet house on it that its, a front to try and convince voters to vote no, by smothering them in Rule Britannia nonsense.

    The corrupt and unscrupulous Labour led city chambers will be more than accommodating to the Westminster propaganda machine, and the first chore is to unfurl extra union jack flags to fly over the chambers, make no mistake about it the Commonwealth games will be one big political event, that YES must win.

    1. Great. So they are sending the Tories up to use our Games to sell their rotten union?

      I wonder what they would have said if we had tried to use their Games that we helped to pay for, to promoste Scotland...

      Oh yeah we weren't allowed to have our flag anywhere near their games.

      I trust that the seam thing goes for the Union rag. Only flags of competing nations... until it's over and they start celebrating millions of deaths.

      It's appropriate that the use the apron for that.

  5. Re above Tris, to add insult to injury, the rest of the UK haven't paid one penny towards the Glasgow Commonwealth games, Scotland paid for it all, by itself. Yet Scots forked out a shed load of cash towards the London Olympics, and barely got a mention at the games, this is you're better together attitude towards Scotland.

    1. Aye Buggered Together!!!

      It is really stinking...

      They just sicken me these days.

  6. I heard that Izzard is going to Belfast the following weekend to do a fundraiser for the UDA.

  7. I'm a YES man to the very core but for me the Big Yin is fantastic! The story about the wee boy and the John Lennon glasses is hilarious and timeless. Politics disnae matter if you're in the mood for a guid laugh. Eddie Nu Lab Tony Blair Lover Izzard is totally shite, but.

    1. Well, it's a matter of taste I guess. I've always thought that Connelly was unfunny in the extreme; Izzard too. I saw his show in Iceland. He was dreadful.

      But that has nothing whatsoever to do with their politics.

      I don't rate Sean Connery either... Does he ever actually ACT?

  8. Would someone tell the Nu-Labour defender that we aint going nowhere as the tectonic plates brought us from Labrador and England got in our way of heading to warmer climes. What is it in British culture that people fawn over these creeps as if they had a superior knowledge.

    Scotland is moving but not in the way is inferred by this overpaid nincompoop, Niko,s double!

    1. LOL I don;t think Niko's a cross dresser CH. Least wise Spook never mentioned it.

    2. I wouldn't put anything past Niko he could be Johann in drag for all we know.

    3. Nah, Niko's far too bright.

  9. Scottish independence is winning over uncommitted, says SNP

    Margie Maxwell is no Scottish nationalist. But she is Glaswegian, and intensely loyal with it. It never occurred to her she would vote for independence. But then the threats were made, to shipyard jobs on the Clyde, to Scotland's right to keep the pound and to her country's economy.
    "I fully want independence now. They've had their chance," she said.

    1. That's a good news story for sure.

      If, as Labour says, the polls were showing a strong No vote (mid 60s in some areas) they wouldn';t be wasting their time with all the cabinet ministers coming up to patronise us.

      So they send them, because they are worried and they do have to be seen to do something... and they make it worse, because they are Eton/Oxford/Bullingdon rich boys (and Tess). And they are one of the prime movers for some people, of independence.

      Being ruled by people you didn't vote for who are only making flying visits to your country and talking in accents you can barely understand is empire of the 1800s... not the 2100s.

  10. An interesting mindset in that quote from Eddie at the top of the poster.

    He sees Britain continuing as a nation without Scotland even though at that point Britain (or more properly the rUK) would be 92% English in population terms.

    It's interesting because if you turn it on its head it means that Britain as an identity and a nation doesn't actually need Scotland to be British. Scotland is superfluous to Britain because it will still be Britain without it.

    I think it makes it quite clear that Britain for people like Eddie really means England. It's the same thing just a different name.

    1. Exactly.

      It seems that that is the attitude. All over the world the words England and Britain are interchangeable.

      To be fair, we did the same thing to the USSR. We frequently called it Russia, which was the largest and most influential country. We talked about their leaders either as the Soviet or Russian leader...

      We never considered Turkmenistan, or Latvia, Belarus or Tajikistan.

      I remember seeing Price Charles emerge from Scottish country house on a beautiful sunny day and say to waiting photographers/journalists that it was" a beautiful English summer's day".

  11. Billy Connelly was funny when he told jokes. As he no longer does so he is no longer funny but panders to his audience. Izzard is very clever and funny but I cannot imagine that anyone would change their views on independence because of his contribution.

    1. I always thought that Connelly relied a bit to heavily on his use of the kind of words that schoolchildren giggle over... jobbie, willie... etc.

      They might have been vaguely funny in the 1950s when he was a kid and you didn't get to say stuff like that out loud...

      Izzard is much cleverer than Connelly but again I find it hard to find anything to laugh at.

      I can accept that "personalities" or "stars" might wish to throw themselves behind the campaign one way or the other, and I guess they have as much right to do that as anyone else.

      But I tend to be more interested in the feelings of people who actually live here...on either side. And not too many "stars" do, because all the work is in London...I wonder why that is?

      Ewan McGregor's view is undoubtedly valid, but it would be a mistake to simply adopt it for yourself because you think he was good in Star Wars. He lives in the South of France with his wife, in a lovely house which being good in Star Wars paid for. His opinion (whatever it is) is only valid for him, and other people who live in luxurious French houses.

      Everyone's opinion is valid, but how authoritative it is is dubious. As Frankie Boyle said, David Bowie is entitled to his opinion, and he was glad to hear it. He'd also value the opinion of Iggy Pop on the Hadron Collider! (Wouldn't we all?)

      I think Andy Murray was either well advised or is a clever laddie. Refusing to take a side is probably the best thing for someone in the public eye who is far from involved in everyday Scottish life.

      Unless you're actually a part of it you are probably best to keep out of it. I can understand Elaine C Smith's involvement or for that matter Susan Boyle's comments, much more than an English comic or an exile actor or pop singer.

  12. Izzard will probably be shown the door in the same way that Alex Ferguson was in the Aberdeen Donside election recently.
    It is also noticeable that the "Big Yin" seems to have changed his initial stance and is saying that things have moved on in Scotland.
    I do not want to see a future Scotland dominated by the culture of celebrity,in the way that the UK currently is.
    The UK is a top down society where only people regarded as being part of the elite are regarded as having anything of importance to say.
    In a future Scotland,I would hope that we develop a more egalitarian society where everyone counts and whether you are a pop singer or a delivery man your opinion will carry the same weight.

    1. Well said Bringiton.

      Connelly did retract his earlier statement and said that when he returned to Scotland that he found it a far more positive place (since devotion).

      I think too that Ewan McGregor had backed down from some earlier quite that said he was a unionist.

      But the point is that the politics of the rich and famous, interesting thought they may be to those impressed by the gliterati are not really that relevant to someone living in a small town or a housing estate or a croft in Scotland.

      I too would like to think that we might be more interested in the opinions of Mr Average in Scotland, rather than those of the so-called "celebrities".

  13. This form Chic McGregor at Rangers supporters for Independence:

    Enough with the love bombing already guys as my stomach cannot handle anymore insincere vomit inducing, condescending and extremely patronising clap trap.
    Let’s get this abundantly clear Mr ‘Eddie Izzard’ and all the other celebrities and individuals of some apparent note, you were nowhere to be seen when the Westminster Government imposed the ‘Poll Tax’ on Scotland one year before it was introduced in England. You did not venture north of the border as a matter of urgency to proclaim your undying love for us then. When the people of Scotland marched in Edinburgh to protest at the unfairness of the Poll Tax and the fact we were being used as guinea pigs you were conspicuous by your absence. Your presence was equally scarce when our industry was decimated in the eighties under Margaret Thatcher’s Government and I cannot remember seeing any of you on the picket lines in support of our beleaguered miners who were being starved and beaten into submission by Thatcher’s brutal policies and equally brutal police force acting as hired thugs.
    I might be wrong but I cannot for the life of me remember you Mr Izzard or other celebrities such as Mr Bowie chaining yourselves to the fence at ‘Faslane’. Nor can I remember any of you protesting at the arrogance of a Westminster Government placing weapons of mass destruction 30 miles from our most densely populated region of over 2.5 Million people. I certainly cannot remember any of you coming out publicly to express your ‘Utter Outrage’ at the Ministry of Defence statement that those weapons were too dangerous to situate anywhere in England because as the Defence Minister, Phillip Hammond stated himself, “Should there be an accident the loss of life to members of the public would be totally unacceptable”. Even the fact that Scotland is being asked to provide Billions towards the ‘High Speed Link’ from London to Manchester yet that link is going nowhere near Scotland isn’t worth a mention from our apparent admirers in ‘Celebrity World’.
    If any of you really wanted to express your undying love for us ‘Jocks’ north of the border then you have had ample time to do so. If you wanted to express your unstinting support for your much loved neighbours up the road when we were being used as guinea pigs by an uncaring Tory Government in London you had ample opportunities to do so. If you wanted to express your outrage at the fact Westminster was more than willing to put the lives of 2.5 Million Scots at risk with Trident but not willing to put a single English life at risk by placing those missiles anywhere in England you have had about forty years to do so. Scotland has been a member of this so called ‘Family of Nations’ for over three hundred years but we have been treated like the hired help and part of the furniture rather than part of the family. We have been treated like a ‘Subordinate Region’ rather than an ‘Equal Partner’ far less a respected ‘Sovereign Nation’.
    In truth the time to tell us how much you love us is during all the hardships by showing solidarity and support when we need it most. Waiting to tell us how much we mean to you just as we are preparing to walk out the door is perhaps a tad ‘after the horse has bolted’ and your sentiments however genuine come across as just far too little and way too late.

    Chic Macgregor

    1. Good for him as I am getting sick of these hypocrites acting as if they are a force for good just bugger off into oblivion.