DODGY DAVE

It's a funny old world, isn't it?

One in which when the SNP clap in Westminster, it is wrong and disrespectful and Mr Speaker gets quite schoolmarmish about it and tells then that while they may have meant well, they haven't yet been in England long enough to understand the different way they do things...properly. 

So whilst it is not considered bad manners to boo and roar and wave papers in the air and behave like a bunch of 6 year olds whose teacher has popped out of the room for a second, it is extremely bad manners, uncouth and beastish to clap...as one might do at, say, the opera.

Then a few weeks later when a some members stick a knife in Willie Hague's back while he is trying to stick one in the back of the Speaker, on Cameron's orders, and the Speaker comes out smiling, while Willie Hague's last act in the House of Commons is to be resoundingly humiliated, it suddenly has become good manners to clap and all is well in the world.

And it seems to stay like that. Because not long after that Blairite Hilary Benn makes a warmongering speech, going against his party leader's stance on war in Syria (one we can neither afford nor win), it's all Tory hands to the clap again. Note, it's the last few minutes of the video that you'll want, containing clapping and the embarrassing praise from Hammond of Benn's speech. The rest is too awful for words.

Now Munguin isn't a betting animal but he reckons a pound to a pinch of snuff that if the SNP try clapping again, it will have reverted to boorishness, and not the behaviour expected of gentlemen of the Hon, Rt Hon, Learned or Gallant persuasion.

So it shouldn't come as any great surprise to any of our readers that when David Cameron insulted Dennis Skinner a few months ago by telling him he could take his pension at any time, and indeed he advised him to do so, rude and ungentlemanly behaviour to a man with more experience than Mr Cameron will ever have, and who is old enough to be Cameron's father, nothing was said about it.

 And he has form. Here he called Mr Skinner a dinosaur.

However, when Mr Skinner said that Dave was dodgy, an understatement of mammoth proportions in anyone's terms (given that he clearly lied all week about his gains from offshore investments), Skinner was told to retract, and when he refused,  to leave the chamber.

Rather like the subject of the business, there seems to be one rule for some, and one rule for the rest.

Does anyone seriously think that Dave isn't dodgy? or the Commons corrupted?

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Not much news to comment on, but there are always Tories to talk about.

SNAPS ON SUNDAY

He should join the progressives on that bench.
He's so out of place in Labour.

Hold the front page. Jackie Baillie lied.

Pretty much sums up the London Government

Hi there Dave.
THIS is the BIG SOCIETY and we want a word with you.

"Man" might be a bit flattering in this case.
Well, OK, a lot flattering.

Remind me, why is he the secretary of state?
Oh yeah... Duh.

Back to their old tricks.
English Labour is hiring staff for Scottish Labour.
How fraternal.

Well, at least one part of their government listens.

Like that's gonna happen. Give up a seat in the big boys' club?
There'd be no point in being a politician unless you could shmoose Obama and be seen in the White House.
Talking of which...d'you remember how proud Dougie Alexander was
when he was there with Miliband. Awwww.

They have Michael. They just can't contemplate obscurity

Well, old boy, they're British. It's quite different from being foreign
don't you know. What!

 If you can't work that out you dumbass,
I'm not sure you should be let out alone.

Isn't that place falling down? Wouldn't it be dreadful if it slid into the Thames with all these fine people in it?

Thank goodness that these great minds are pouring over the legislation, picking out all the flawzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Just shows what a meritocracy the UK is though.
Even oinks like this long haired beardy rebel
can get his fat butt on a red bench
for being a greasy establishment lick-spittle .

Got it.
Move parliament to Buckingham Palace
and find a council house for the Windsors.

That pretty much sums it up.

So yeah, Francis, Scotland is on it.

Yep, of course you will, but no one believes anything you lot say
any more, so take your millions and sod off.

Thank goodness you're nothing to do with our policing. It's in enough of a mess without your interference.

MIDWEEK MONTAGE

J Straw and M Rifkind need to re-apply

Why?

A guide new MPs may find useful.

Hmmm... that didnt last long.

So, why would it matter?
It's the same with benefits, which is why universal benefits
are fairer.

If you must have a second job, so that you have experience outside
parliament, this is the kid you should have.

Or maybe this one, but try not to hold your nose as the hoi paloi
passes by.

Pass the hat round for poor Malcolm...

Why? Just why?

They are actually proud of their progress...
Bloody amazing.

We're all in it together, right?

Absolutely. They wouldn't do all this stuff if they thought that they were likely to get caught.
As Mr Howard says, "Prison works".

Maybe Dennis, that's because they don't want anyone caught tax dodging

WHY?

It's true, isn't it.
A few years ago students in England protested at the massive hike
in student fees. Someone poked Princess Parker Bowles with a stick.
The establishment was outraged.
But you don't hear much vultures waiting for little boys to die.

Oh to have be born Icelandic instead of British.

WHERE'S ALL THAT SOCIALIST STUFF WE WERE PROMISED LAST WEEKEND?

Congratulations to the following Labour MPs:

Look... a socialist (about to leave parliament?)

Diane Abbott

Ronnie Campbell

Katy Clark

Michael Connarty

Jeremy Corbyn

Kelvin Hopkins

Glenda Jackson

Goodness...another socialist (about to leave parliament?)

John McDonnell

George Mudie

Linda Riordan

Dennis Skinner

Tom Watson

Mike Wood

The rest of you make us sick. (Please note the clever and subtle colour coding.) 

We hope very much that one day you will need a hand up (although frankly we doubt you will), and, although we are not proud to feel this, nonetheless we cannot lie, we most fervently hope that you don't get one.

The government has excluded pensions from the benefits ceiling, because even Tories, thick and out of touch though they are, know that if you risk pensioners' payments you risk the next election.

This woman is either so hypocritical
 or so dense. Have a read of this
and enjoy a good laugh.

They have also excluded benefits paid to unemployed people possibly because the fit, unwaged can riot something horribly, as they found to their cost a few years ago when Cameron was obliged to return from his Tuscan villa to sort of Tessy May's mess. 

The people this will hit hard are their beloved strivers: people working on minimum wage, but living in accommodation where the rent is higher than their take home pay; people working part time because there are no full time jobs; and people who are disabled or ill and their carers.

I suppose it should come as no shock to us that Labour wholeheartedly agreed with the Tories. Why would they not think that people, already horribly disadvantaged, should be beaten over the head with a stick by a set of greedy lowlife. 

Yuk
Nausea alert 

Let's not forget that MPs will all be enjoying an 11% pay rise shortly (at our expenses), that they all can enjoy cheap food and drink (at our expense) including the many who, despite the furore over their being caught stealing with abandon, are still on the fiddle over their expenses... and who, when they are taken to task about expenses, reduce staff to tears and resignation... so they get away with overspending and sending their purchased goods to the wrong address.

Labour: the party of the working banker, royal and MP and top businessman. 

The thing that I find so amazing is that last week they were all "Keir Hardie" and "Keep the Red Flag Flying Here" and Alex Salmond's just like the Tories, comrade, as we were enjoined to celebrate their return to socialism.

They couldn't even keep it up for a whole week. 

Pinko Tory bastards.