Tuesday 9 September 2014


There a line in almost every "It ain't half hot mum" (the complete series of which I've been watching on DVD) where Gloria says... "It's like amateur night in Dixie". 

It fits the BT campaign to a tee, from their cack handed choice of names, of slogans and of "heavyweights" (you know, the men who wrecked the economy of the UK telling us how terrible our economy would be without the rest of Britain), to no more Doctor Who,  to the daft patronising video that shows a numb-headed woman in the kitchen, whose biggest worry seems to be whether her husband has eaten his breakfast cereal. 

Actually a friend of mine suggested that it would be an interesting idea to have a competition to see which was the most ridiculous scare story they had come up with.
One, apparently emanating from the House of Lords, quite possibly one of the noble members talking in his sleep, suggested that the rules of golf would have to be changed if Scotland were independent. I'm not quite sure why, or what changes he would have expected to see, but it struck me as incredibly stupid as the rules of golf are set in St Andrews, Scotland at the moment; always have been, and presumably always will be. Maybe he just felt that that was OK as long as St Andrews was in the UK, but as soon as it wasn't they'd have to move the home of golf to the Oval, where it would be safe!

Another howler came from a correspondent to the Dundee Courier and Advertiser, who smirked that he had noticed a YES sticker in a car which had a personalised number plate, and he had come to the someone satisfying conclusion that, after independence, as these plates were issued in Swansea, Wales, the person would no longer be entitled to use it. This despite having bought it and paid for it. Not sure if they were going to send up some Welshman to take it back.

I'd welcome any other contenders for stupidest scare story from the "amateur night in Dixie" that is the Naysays UKOK Nob Orders.

And on the theme of stupid, who the hell thought it a good idea for Downing Street to fly a Scottish flag? Downing Street isn't the office of the First Minister of Scotland or the Secretary of State; it's the office of the First (prime) Minister and First Lord of the Treasury of the United Kingdom and it is in England. To fly the Scottish flag was just plain patronising. It was like they were saying: "You probably don't understand the words we are saying so here's a picture. We love you."

Of course what was even more embarrassing was that the flag clearly didn't want to be flown there. It fell down and then hung miserably in the calm English air.
Pointy fingers are coming to tell you off
But, there's more today. In yet another piece of the suicide mission, Cameron, Miliband and Clegg are coming to Scotland to lecture us tomorrow.

Cameron must be one of the least liked politicians in Scotland... in Britain even; Miliband isn't really terribly far behind him, and Nick Clegg....well, least said, soonest mended. And they are all piling up to Scotland leaving their jobs at PMQs with all that is going on in the world, to try to shore up their miserable team of Scots that has failed them dreadfully. Apparently big hitters, ex prime minister, ex chancellors, and lords a plenty.
Just got this from Twitter. Classic! 
But for these three English multi-millionaires with privileged backgrounds to come to tell people to vote for millionaires' Britain?  What Are they like?

Amateur night at...


  1. Since we're all supposed to be better together, should not Cameron address a crowd of Labour supporters, Miliband a crowd (ahem) of Tories and see how they get on. Meanwhile Clegg should have a wee word with Willie Rennie cos nobody else is listening.
    Another own goal let in by the Union.

    1. LOL that's a brilliant idea.

      Particularly for poor old Cleggy.

  2. And Nigel is coming up soon too. Maybe he can go to the march on Saturday.
    I'd like nothing better than for the polls to show a bigger lead for Yes after they've all left. They really don't get it do they.

    1. NO despite 2 years of mistakes and disasters, they don't get it. Not at all.

  3. I saw wee Willie Rennie today, doing what the Yanks call 'jaywalking', creeping around a huge tourist bus at the intersection of the Royal Mile and the Bridges and narrowly being missed by a number 14 after sprinting across.

    Not a good example to the children waiting on my side of the road at all...

    ...perhaps Johann was after her new best friend, which may have explained his haste...

    1. Mate, if Jola was after you, you'd not be caring about examples to children. You'd jump off the castle rock to get away.

      Are they new best friends?

  4. I'll sell them one Arbroath...

  5. They had just been at the BT rally at Holyrood together.

    I was walking down from Parliament Square going back to my office, just having...err... patrolled the area...

    1. I hope you weren't stocking Joanne!

      or Willie for that matter!

    2. Oh bother... I'm tired... Stalking

      I mean no one would 'stock' out of date models like these!!!

  6. I hope the Magnificent Three will have the decency to invite Flipper and Sincerity Jim to accompany them north, so that Flipper and Jim have a chance to bump up their expenses before the gravy train pulls into the terminus for the last time.

    1. Well, they'll need translators...

  7. To think there is only a full week of campaigning left. I would not have believed our good luck for our opponent to have such an inept lacklustre campaign. However I do wish they would continue with what they are doing.

    For us I do like the big Yes in the window of the top of a tenement in Lyon Street that you can see from the bus going up Dens Road. Like a beacon of light.

    1. There are 23 or 24 Yes signs i spotted on what was really a 2 minute walk to the bus stop this morning. There is one no sign.

      There are good corner ones on the Arbroath road/Forfar road junction too... and a lady was in the Yes shop the other day wanted great big signs for a similar type window on the Hilltown.

      One week left... and then it's d day.

      I'm excited and nervous.

      Munguin's all jumpy... and there's no living with a wee furry animal that is jumpy.

      We have been lucky though. From day one they have had everything on their side and yet they have managed to make each ineptitude even more breathtaking than the last.

      Their uselessness has balanced out the weight of the BBC and all the press.

    2. Well, you are lucky enough to live in YES city! The signs, posters, flags and car stickers are everywhere now - it's great to feel part of something so big and historical! It's like spotting lights in the run up to Christmas - every day a new one appears. Only eight sleeps to go!!!!!

    3. Of course Alex, this is what makes me a little unsure about other places. Dundee will vote yes, of that there is little doubt. but i know that not everywhere is like Dundee.

      I too think it's an exciting feeling to be a part of something which is REALLY hopeful. We always think a change of government will bring about a new life... they almost never do.

      Major was supposed to be Thatcherism with a human face, but it wasn't. It was just Thatcherism. Blair was supposed to be the big white hope, but he was just Thatcherism too only seriously two faced Thatcherism.

      Brown was supposed to be more human and turned out to be completely mad, and no one ever expected anything but misery from Cameron...well, except the bankers obviously.

      This time we can have a new country. We can build it from scratch. With help and advice from our northern neighbours.

      I recently heard the Danish foreign minister say..."No one is really poor in Denmark... and no one is really rich", which echoed almost exactly the worlds of an icelandic tour guide last year. The only word that was different was "Iceland".

      We can be like that.

      We really can get rid of food banks and shivering pnsioners.

      And the cost will be not being a world power.

      Which won't cost me any sleep, even if Lord George Robertson shits his pants about being insignificant. (There's an irony.)

  8. Next step or misstep is to say ' If Scotland votes not to Independence ' then the Unionist Triumvirate will give Scotland Independence.

  9. A poster on one of the Indy sites (can't remember which) yesterday deserves credit for providing the perfect description for the last-minute panic visits of our esteemed leaders -

    "The charge of the shite brigade"

    1. I nearly fell off my chair laughing at that...

  10. Ha ha ha ...

    Jon. Thanks for keeping us up to date with this.

    I suspect that they will get round to discussing it in their weird committee, long after it has happened.

    The link works find thanks...

    And again thanks for keeping us in touch.

    They're all quite mad.

  11. Just got a brilliant pic from Twitter... and had to add it. Thanks Stewart!!!!

  12. Tris,

    Since the Republicans control the House, I suspect you're right. On the other hand, if they try to link it to Benghazeeeeeeeeee!, it'll pass in the blink of an eye.

    Douglas Adams had it right; we need to find a planet (uninhabited, of course) and send your nutters and ours there so the rest of us can get on with it.

  13. Oh please god let it be a very very far away planet...


  14. So HR 713 isn't likely to get the same fast-track treatment as H Res 447?

    H Res 447 - "Supporting the democratic and European aspirations of the people of Ukraine, and their right to choose their own future free of intimidation and fear."

  15. Barney, you're almost certainly right about that. But ...

    The term "H.Res" is used with House Resolutions that express a "sense of the House of Representatives"; the term "HR" is used for actual bills. If you do a search at the Thomas site to which I linked above using "HR713" you'll get a very different result than "H.Res.713" which is the one referencing Scotland and the referendum. A small detail to be sure, but an important one if you plan to keep an eye on this thing.