Sunday 4 September 2016


A Twitter friend, Craig, (@Jahaangle) pointed out the dangers of scrolling down to the readers' comments on the Daily Express.

Sooooo, what have we?

Old Majicarpet was happy that Scotland voted to stay in the Union, but seems somewhat displeased that we are not equally content with :

i) Losing the tax office jobs we were promised would be secured by voting NO;

ii) Losing the passport office jobs we were told would be secured by voting NO;

iii) Finding out that the warning we got that pensions were unsustainable in Scotland, was actually true of the UK;

iv) Finding that the 13 Frigates promised in the weeks before the referendum weren't actually going to be built in Scotland at all because there was no money (given that £200 billion had to be found for Trident, and god knows how many billion for the English railways, and heaven only knows how much to keep the "honourable" members and the "noble" lords in the kind of luxury to which they are accustomed);

v) That the only way that we could stay in the EU (which 63% of us want) was in fact NOT to stay in the UK. Because of votes in England and Wales, we are going to be leaving. Well, maybe when the people who orchestrated it have worked out what the hell we are going to do instead.

Odd that we'd not be satisfied with that and so many other things. Still we're a funny lot, aren't we? Foreign, you see! And foreigners and Daily Express readers don't exactly get on.

In any case, if we do have another referendum, we can see what kind of conditions will be opposed upon us, should we choose to allow the Daily Express readership any input on the terms and conditions.

First of all our "Boarders" and going to have to be hard. So get ready to repel boarders, because we have enough hard cases here already. Then, and somehow it's all in the same sentence, all Scots (with a lower case "s") need to have a passport. But then most of us probably do, already, whether we are scots or Scots. An EU one for the moment. 

I'm just wondering if the 'hard boarders' will have to have passports. Whatcha think?

I'm assuming any Scot who doesn't have one wouldn't be able to go to the rUK, should they want to? But, wouldn't, equally, any rUK person also need a passport... or would they not ever want to come to Scotland, cos it's so crap?

Apparently too, we have "to" much of the country so these "boarders" have to be "reset" (isn't that taking stolen goods to sell?). It's these 'hard boarders' again, I tell ye, pinching stuff and flogging it!

Twenty per cent tariff on whisky, water, electricity, gas, not to mention haggis and shortbread..? Yep, I'll go with that. Can you afford it rUK?

The shipyard thing is sort of a done deal anyway. They stopped ordering ships when they got their desired results in 2014, and have spend the intervening time cancelling the orders they made to win shipbuilding votes.

I'm sure that we could allow the vote on Scottish independence to be UK wide, if the vote on UK independence were EU wide, don't you think?

I'm unconvinced about the oil all belonging to England though; I'm not sure that Wales or Northern Ireland would see it that way either.... but, that said, it is a huge liability, apparently, so maybe, yes. 

In return they could take their nuclear subs on day one, and to make it a decent deal they can take the Windsors and their aristocracy too, including the Moany woman, I mean lady. They could put them all together on Trident and sail them away.


  1. He means adventurous snow boarders, right? Or the bad boys who board at Gordonstoun? Maybe people that perform dangerous leaps on to ships? Troublesome holidaymakers taking full room and board? Whatever, first class clowning around.

    1. Well, Terry, he certainly meant something. It was just a little too linguistically complex for the likes of this simple soul!

      I assumed it was the ship boarders, becasue you gotta be a bit hard to do that, huh?

      Anyway, it's good to have a wee laugh at them...

  2. Their ignorance just shines through. Big bill coming to Westminster on that English oil that wasn't English oil. We might even turn of the taps of that oil that feeds the oil refineries England, Scotch bottled in Scotland, not England, cutting out the middle man so to speak. We could go on, but hell, why should we enlighten them.

    1. I'm not sure that the likes of him/her COULD be enlightened...

      How's the golf btw?

    2. Golf is fine, thanks for asking.

    3. Good good. The weather is holding up for you.

  3. I may have met this chap on one of my cruises with that very British Line P&O. I think there are many like him in England. Now if they could bottle arrogance, they would make a fortune,because there seems to be an endless supply. Helena

    1. You should have pushed him overboard at somewhere very foreign. It would have upset him coz God knows they don't like foreigners.

  4. Much hysteria about from the unionists with regard to an indy2 referendum.
    Their tack which has been to date to claim that it would create uncertainty is now a joke after their EU exit fiasco.
    Also the incredible stupidity of threatening to boycott a referendum democratically supported by the Scottish parliament would guarantee the Ulsterisation of Scotland and that is the last thing that a beleaguered English state will want to have to deal with.
    The hysteria from the unionists on this matter can only mean one thing,they know that the outcome will not be in their favour.

    1. I guess that the SNP will never stop being a party of independence, but the people who have made this a huge issue are the Tories.

      To be honest, it is the only policy of the Ruth Davidson Party that I can remember from the general election. The Party of the Union.

      The SNP has launched a consultation to try to find out how people feel about it two years on, given the broken promises. Broken promises which Brown, perhaps unwittingly, referred to when he called for the same stuff he called for 2 years ago.

  5. Majiccarpet, seems to have a few loose threads.

    1. LOL... or maybe (s)he was flying?

  6. Why would anyone ever read a Daily Express? At least the Mail has all the celeb news. I wouldn't sleep if I didn't know where Myleene or Poppy or Abbie were on holidays. But the Daily Express?

  7. I would not be bothered if there were a hard border.

    We could enlarge our ports and revive our direct trade with Europe - all jobs for Scotland.

    Moreover some of our trade with England is going to disappear as firms that used to export to Europe move elsewhere.

    1. The funny thing is that they have assured Ireland that there will be no hard border. The notion that there would be a hard border with Scotland was based on the fact that the dreaded foreigners could arrive here and then slip unnoticed across the border into that green and pleasant land.

      Of course, unless they install an iron curtain, foreigners could do just that. Why would they bother, and go to that expense, when the border with the Republic of Ireland is left open.

      Hard borders are a pain, as anyone who has queued for hours to get through inadequate police checks knows, but if push comes to shove, it will have to happen.

  8. I am refilling my anti boarder equipment as we speak.

    As for the oil thingy I'm just wondering how, as he is claiming all OUR oil for his beloved bankrupt England, he intends moving all the oil rigs and oil fields dan suff from their current locations. LOL

    I'm betting his fellow Little Engerlanders can't wait to pay the extra 20% on Scottish produce, especially produce they can't get elsewhere. Not only that but 20% on OUR electricity supplied to THEM? Hell we'll just turn the switch off at the border, don't worry I know where it is, which will mean we will be overflowing in electricity we'll probably be paying next to nothing for it in Scotland. Thanks for that one majiccarpet. LOL

    Of course hard border, or as he calls it boarder, controls wouldn't be a problem. Every vehicle entering Scotland being fully searched ... great ... bet all the drug mules and couriers who regularly travel from dan suff to Scotland are just LOVING that suggestion. LOL

    1. How handy is it to have a correspondent in the "boarders" who can keep us abreast of the whys and wherefores.

      I'm thinking that Oil Rigs in the Thames, at the City and just outside the house of Lords would be a good thing.

      Just remember that you are on the front line of repelling them. Let Munguin know if you require back up.

  9. Just read on Twitter that the holiest of holy shrines has threatened to leave London as a result of Brexit uncertainty ... namely Lloyd's of London. LOL

    Should this happen then London will indeed need something to replace Lloyd's so obviously filling the Thames full of oil rigs would do just the job. Whilst they are at it they could also relocate their favourite White Elephants to the Thames as well. (Yes I have just read Panda Paws wee ditty LOL )

    Have no fear if we find repelling boarders getting too much for us we will indeed put out the call to Munguin.

    1. LOL

      How embarrassing.

      Actually I have a mate who works for them.

      I'll tell him how lovely Dublin is!

      I see you're colour blind Arbroath. Pink Elephants aren't necessarily white elephants... or are they. Discuss.


      Higher philosophy!!

    2. Munguin is always available ....for a suitable remuneration.