Sunday 21 March 2010


It seems that when Mohamed al-Fayed claimed some years ago that you can hire an MP like you can hire a taxi, he was right.

Stephen Byers, along with some names you might expect to be connected with anything dodgy, Pat Hewitt, Geoff Hoon and dear Margaret ‘Dry Rot’ Moran, (I’m going to sue...erm.... or pay the money back).

The investigator, an undercover reporter for the
“Sunday Times” and “Despatches”, posed as a company executive looking to hire MPs for lobbying work. Byers, a former minister, allegedly described himself as “like a sort of cab for hire” for up to £5,000 a day (expensive cab!).

Hewitt claimed she was paid £3,000 a day to help a client obtain a key seat on a Government advisory group, while Hoon said that he had contacts that he could use to make money. He too charged £3,000 a day.

Moran, the disgraced Luton MP , surprisingly not in the dock with the other Labour Party MPs boasted of a “girls gang” of colleagues to help clients, including Jacqui ‘the dodgy lodger’ Smith, Hazel ‘this is my cheque’ Blears, and, wait for it, no lesser a person than Harry ‘you know where to find me’ Harman.

Byers allegedly said he had a deal with His Lordship Adonis, on behalf of National Express, which he said wanted to dump the East Coast rail franchise which was making a loss, without having to pay up in penalties. The deal supposedly was that Adonis would criticise National Express publicly but terms would be agreed which favoured the company. The decision to terminate the franchise last year left the taxpayer hundreds of millions of pounds in the red. Thanks Byers! Byers also boasted he could and did use his friendship with Peter Mandelson, along with his ability to get information from Number 10.

It is alleged, although denied by the company, that he lobbied Mandleson on behalf of Tescos to have food labelling regulations altered and they were. Needless to say after the allegations became public Byers said that he had been exaggerating what he could do...... Adonis and National Express also denied the allegations and Mandy had "no recollection" of talking to Byers about the issue. I’ve heard that one before! (He thinks he’s Ronnie Regan .... the hair dye and the astrologer are just around the corner.)

Hewitt claimed that she was offering to do the work only after she left the Commons, although that’s not how it looks to me. Nauseatingly she said: “I am always willing to give advice to companies who have something positive to offer our country,” as she wiped her eye on the corner of her union jack hankie. Pass me the sick bag.

Hoon’s lawyer said his comments had been misrepresented. How exactly you can misrepresent... looking to turn his knowledge and contacts into “something that frankly makes money” , I don't know. It all sounds pretty clear to me.

Of course the ever delightful Moran warbled something about 'hypothetical discussions about the future’ and ‘an attempt to rebuild my life.’ But nobody takes her very seriously any more. (Like the type colour...? It matches her hat.) (It is a hat, isn't it?)

But the allegations are serious, implicating, as they do, people still in ‘power’, and not just the headlined has-beens. Perhaps the most serious is Moran’s allegations that Harman is or was part of her “contacts”.

And they ask why people aren’t interested in politics and don’t vote.... Pfffffffffffffffff.

Pictured: Stephen, trying to ward off the collapse of what was left of his reputation; the lovely Pat and the even lovelier Geoff pictured "together" because, I imagine, of their last venture into the disreputable as a twosome; and finally a big fat orange thing that I thought would look amusing on the page... you know... a joke.


  1. The Labour governments response is a bit worrying. They claim that all the MP's have said they were lying and Ms Moran is barking mad and shouldn't be taken seriously.
    So lying MP's are the norm and nothing to worry about. And constituents shouldn't be told that their MP is mad.

  2. Good Lord Anon... don't they already know that?

    Of course the MPs were lying. It's what they do, isn't it?

    I agree completely with you. It's not so much that we should be told as that they are mad, more that we should re-open the lunatic asylums immediately.

    I suppose that this will mean another whitewash, erm I mean public inquiry, and the prime minister will be able to tell us that there was in fact a growth of 10% in dodgy deals in most years year since 1997, only later to have to amend that to ‘in every year’ and it was 15%.

    They failed to catch any Tories out..... Odd that!

  3. Tris its not a hat it's her brain which she carries around outside her body.

  4. You'll note they still ask and get the title of "honourable" when talking to each other in Parliament.
    It makes me sick to my stomach that people will still vote for the parties these scum are members of.

  5. Munguin,

    I odn't think it is.... because I don't think she actually has one...

    Or at least not a functioning one.

  6. QM:

    Yes, I commented on that elsewhere. I rarely give any of these people their self agrandising titles or styles. They may think they deserve them, but that's because they live in teir weird little Wewstminster bubble with its ancient customs. I am amazed that they don't use the old second person thou, thee, and ye. I believe that these scumbags have belittled the very few who might have deserved some sort of recognition.

    The notion that these people still have the cheek to describe themsleves as honourable, noble and right honourable, gallant, learned or indeed anything other than the set of lying cheating scumbags that they are is offensive.

    Can I suggest the following formula.

    Dishonourable; Ignoble; Right dishonourable, and for the worst ones, thieving git.

    Of course none of them will get my vote.

  7. Incidentally, it might be an idea to email the Speaker and suggest to him that this practice should cease and desist from now on, given that it is an inappropriate form of address.

    Contact John Bercow:


    John Bercow MP
    Speaker’s House
    House of Commons
    SW1A 0AA


    Constituency Office
    Tel: 020 7219 6346 (including surgery appointments)

    Speaker’s Office
    Tel: 020 7219 5300
    Fax: 020 7219 6901

  8. I suspect Bercow will be gone in a few weeks so it's probably better waiting for his replacement.

  9. Anon: Too late. I've sent the following:

    Dear Mr Bercow,

    I have been reading for the last year about the many and various ways in which MPs (and of course Lords) have been exaggerating their expenses.

    More recently we have seen 3 Labour Party MPs and a Tory peer in the dock in a Magistrates Court (albeit somewhat reluctantly as the Labour ones thought themselves above it).

    This morning I read with dismay about various members, again of the Labour Party, who have bragged to an agent provocateur that they could influence, and indeed have influenced, government policy at a cost of between £3,000 and £5,000 a day.

    The Labour Party’s response seems to be, from what I can see, that they are all liars and except for Moran who is mad.

    In view of all of this, I am wondering if it would be sensible for you to ban these people from calling each other “honourable” or “right honourable” in the House of Commons. It demeans the word, and those in the chamber who might actually deserve it. It makes the whole House a laughing stock in the UK and abroad and gives its critics a stick with which to beat it.

    I wonder if you might also consider suggesting the same thing to the Speaker in the House of Lords where many of the members appear to be “ignoble” in the extreme.

    Yours sincerely

    Tristan Price-Williams

  10. Yeah! thats all well and good but they are all leaving Parliament whilst that snp rascal Osama Saeed..well what can you say???

    you got the Augean Stable of westminster
    throwing out Bad MPs at one end and the snp
    shoving new ones in ta't other end

  11. Niko: I may be out of date, but Osama seems to be nothing at all like the charmers mentioned above. He demonstrated agains terrorism, and called for forced marriages to be illegal.... I'm unaware of anything the man has done wrong. Perhaps yu could enlighten me.

    I hope he wins in Glasgow and clearly you think he will so what can you say?

    YOu seem to think that the pond life in the story are ok because they are leaving parliament, but of course Peter Mandleson and Andy Adonis won't be, and they seem to have complied with the suggestions of one of your wide boys.

    As a result we have a bill for a train company of over 250 million of their English pounds.

    Still, that's small beer for Labour Crooks

    Ps Sincere apologies to any pond life reading this.

  12. Just read in the Observer today that "78% of all GPs say that they "rarely" meet the deadline for getting mentally ill children an appointment within 6 months", and while that FUCKING DISGRACE is happening due to a lack of resources and efficient management we have these scumbags milking the system for every penny!

    I dont intend to vote at all, this is all simply TOO MUCH!

  13. Tris

    snp thieves OK anybody else is bad.. snp politics as usual

    the SNP government gave it £400,000 of grants, half of which was earmarked for a large Islamic festival which later fell through. After spending £71,416 of the £200,000, including £41,216 on salaries, the SIF had to repay the remaining £128,584 last year.

    add that up seems quite a lot to me still maybe the snp have bigger thieves and this amount is small beer.

    still 'scotland needs Champions' like Osama Saeed dont ask what he is a Champion of though eh?

  14. Well Anon, not voting at all, actually does none of them any harm....

  15. Ah Niko, you must know things tht I don't know.

    I wasn't aware that anyone had actually been found to be a thief much less Osama himself, but clearly you now more than I do, so I bow to that knowledge and, if it's correct I condemn it.

  16. PS... Anon: For future reference, I prefer to keep the F word off the blog .... It has the ability to offend. OK? :¬)

  17. There will be 50,000 railtrack shareholders a bit happier today anyway. Byers put Railtrack into administration in 2001 and 50,000 shareholders lost all of their money. Byers admitted in parliament that he had lied when he said Railtrack were bust. He just wanted to re nationalise Network Rail because he could. Oh and of course don't forget the Phoenix rip off at MG Rover. Mr Byers was the man there aswell.

  18. Well... he seems to have made a habit of lying doesn't he Anon?