Friday, 26 March 2010


Sorry if I seem to be going on and on about Geoff Hoon (and the rest of the sorry assed bunch of losers that constitute the Labour Party) but I really just can’t get over what a complete balloon (yeah, it rhymes too) the man is.

He was stupid enough to give an interview to the Today programme this morning. Amazingly the BBC saw fit to give him the coveted 8.10am spot with the star interviewer. (For anyone reading who doesn’t listen to the Today programme [Radio 4], the interview right after the 8 o’clock news is considered to be the most important of the day, when most people are listening, and is much sought after by politicians wanting their message to reach the largest number of ears.)

Well, I don’t know what he thought he would achieve by this, but whatever it was, he certainly didn’t in my house.

He apologised for "showing-off" to an undercover journalist over his political influence, and admitted, "I certainly got it wrong. I should've known better”. He then went on to justify that behaviour, arguing: "Most people faced with a situation where they know they are leaving a job, working their notice, would think about their future. The skills, the experience of a member of parliament are not readily translatable into other walks of life." {Skills?????}

He repeated this matra over and over again. He had to think of his future. He needed to ensure that he had employment. Most people would think it was reasonable, indeed sensible to be looking for work. His pension wouldn’t kick in for many years. (When do they get their pension; at 80?)

He continued: "I accept that in the course of that conversation I said a number of things that because I thought I was engaged in what was an informal chat - wasn't leading to any particular position.”

Interviewer James Naughtie was particularly am
using when Hoon protested that he didn’t want to be a Lobbyist. Naughtie responded: “No, you seemed to suggest you were a bit above that.”

Naughtie, never one to miss the opportunity of knocking a politician when he’s made a fool of himself, dragged up the matter of Hoon’s attempt with Hewitt to topple the prime minister in a coup which had fizzled out before it was launched. The journalist asked if he had believed that he had the support of cabinet ministers, and Hoon in true politician style dodged and dived. But for any of the public who might have forgotten that farce, it was all brought back to life.

If Hoon is looking for a job, what he was doing was a very public, very bad interview. The message was: I’m a tube; I run off at the mouth and show off; I promise stuff I can’t deliver: I am a liar. Geez a joab!

As a post script, I heard that Pat Hewitt is being considered for a job on the board of the Channel Tunnel. Now I’d have said that that poor tunnel has more than its fair share of bad luck in the past, and that Pat Hewitt is a further piece of misfortune that it could well do without, but I’d like to add that if she ever becomes a director, I for one, will never travel on its trains again.

Pictured: Buffoon Balloon Prune Goon Hoon and the lovely Patricia Hewitt, the train drivers amie! The cover of Hoon's CV.


  1. Tris: it also rhymes with buffoon. Just in case the poet laurite is reading and wishes to compose an ode to Geoff Balloon, I mean Hoon!

    Now what rhymes with Hewitt?

  2. Radio Scotland took up the story at lunchtime and ran with it. A studio full of Labour luvvies explained that Hoon was just a silly wee boy ( nothing about selling out our defence industry / treason etc)and the things that Byers said were 'proven lies' according to that Lorraine Luvvy that's appeared recently.
    With BBC Pravda all sewn up and the newspapers all sewn up there's just STV News to finish off and we'll have the full set for Labour. Game over for democracy in Scotland. ( apart from you fine bloggers)

  3. (skills) which in any other walk of life would see you Banged up! for a very long time....

  4. Munguin : Spew it, Blew it, Flew it, Do it.....

    It's a pity her name hadn't be Hewless, because Clueless would have fitted nicely...

    But who needs rhymes. If the poet laureate could manage to write a poem that includes the words greedy, chancer, unemployable, incompetent and ugly, I guess that would be just the ticket!

  5. Well Anon, he's certainly silly, but it begs the question, why oh why did they make him the bloody defence secretary in charge of running two wars and literally millions of people's lives?


    We need to get that across. And thank you for alerting me to it.

    “Vote Labour and get a silly wee boy in charge of our wars, weapons (including the nuclear ones) and most of all our men.” Could be their slogan.

    That should put a few off, and heaven knows that's what we need.

    It seems it's down to us bloggers then....

    Sleeves are rolled up here ready for action

  6. Niko: Spot on. I can see Hoon in a stripy suit with arrows..... or maybe it was just one of my dreams...

    It was probably the Devine Jim actually, now I think of it.

  7. Thanks for correcting my spelling nicely there Tris. Was really struggling with laureate and see I got it wrong....oops! Just as well I’m not one of those preachy “the SNP got its grammar wrong” types that you get in other places.

  8. Ah Munguin. I cannot take the credit for that.

    Alas Microsoft spellchecker did it for me.

    I suspect you refer to dear Kez Dugdale, for whom the only joy over last weekend was to note that the First Minister had used the word 'less', when he should have used the word 'fewer'. An horrific mistake no doubt, and one that is worthy of our attention, because, small though it is, one mistake begets another...

    And, unfortunately for Kaz, it begat quite a few of them, in the very post in which she berated Mr Salmond.

    Ho...hum. I make loads of mistakes Munguin, and these days I quietly chuckle at others’, mindful that my next clanger is just around the corner....

  9. Yes Kez did. And it really is a good policy not to cast the first stone.

    Regrettably the Scottish Labour party, of which Kez is a component, do not seem to be able to take that on board hence their insistence on loudly and publicly lambasting the SNP for any error. Only to discover the inconvenient truth that they themselves have committed a similar, or worse one, earlier. Perhaps Kez has learned that lesson now and will forego the instant satisfaction of pointing out the mistakes of others.

    Perhaps a word in the shell like of her esteemed clique leader might lead him to a similarly enlightened path.

  10. That would create a problem Munguin. I agree that Mr Gray's policy for opposition is to have members of his party criticise every little thing that the SNP does. You know, for example.... Mr Salmond gets a Christmas present and Baron Ffoulkes of Somewhere in England criticises it. (occasionally this backfires somewhat and the Noble and Rt Honourable Baron gets a tad on the confused side and criticises his own party in error...research not being Labour's strong point .... Saltires on the trains, etc.

    Anyway... the problem in giving that up is that they would have to find something else to do with their days.... and someone somewhere might propose that they get themselves a policy (the nasty P word)... Can you imagine the havoc that would ensue...? Nope, I bet you can't. Neither can anyone else, and that's why they don't risk it.


  11. It is Oswestry in the county of Shropshire Tris and later he went on to study to be a haberdasher in Boreham Wood. That was before his dizzy climb to fame and the nobility.

  12. From humble beginnings, Munguin, can some come of the greatest Nobles and Aristocrats... why Napoleon was but a Corican peasant, and ended up Emperor of all France, and then there was young Jean-Bédel Bokassa, born in a small village in the Central African French possessions and yet rose to be an Emperor hislef.

    Who knows to what heights The Noble and Rt Hon Baron of Gloves may yet rise....?

  13. Yes Tris and in both the cases you site the pope refused to crown them so they had to crown themselves.

  14. I wouldnae mind crowning wee FFFoulkes

  15. But at least his nobleness of Oswestry in Shropshire was annointed by a real queen, but she probably used her tupperware sword and kept the real one for best.

  16. I think you would need to form a queue Tris. The only one not in it would be the estimable Ms Dugdale because she works for him in the Scottish parliament. Although he did nick her place on the lothian regional list so.....

  17. These French types are always crowning themselves Tris. Why did you know that Sarkozy had lined his son up for a plum job? The nepotism of it. It is just not British or English speaking in any way!