Thursday 27 August 2015


How lucky we are to be British, as I always say!.

We have a got ourself a shed load of new parliamentarians without any fuss at all: they didn't have to bother with all this campaigning malarkey and we didn't even have to get off our backsides and vote for them.

How lucky are we?

But, to be honest, they are a sorry lot. Well come on, you don't get much for nothing these days.

Of course several of the names have been trailed for sometime by the media. Among those, Darling (who appears to have got his for making a cock up of running the Better Together Campaign, so much so that they had to get Gordon Brown to rescue him at the 11th hour) is my favourite.
Eh Alistair????

I mean, Darling the firebrand socialist republican who ends up in ermine... what can you say?

And then there's Mone. Mone by name and moan by nature. The woman who was hounded out of Scotland by social media (because presumably you don't get Twitter in London!) 
Is she living in the Tower of London?
She becomes an aristocrat and gets a blue blood transfusion for...erm...well that's a hard one, but suffice to say that she's going to be working with Iain Duncan Smith (who has managed to kill off 4000 people within six weeks of them being found fit for work), so that should tell you all you need to know. She is to be some sort of entrepreneur coach... (no, me neither!). 

Although I'm sure that she can show the neds and chavs how to trash a car, give a recalcitrant partner a dose of the trots, outsource to China, and all whilst getting a dodgy uneven tan. 

Then there's the Noble Baron Ming the Merciless, presumably for his sense of irony. He and said today that he doesn't approve of the way the House of Lords is appointed, at the same time as he accepted a seat in it.

Thank Ming the Merciful Lord
However, my favourite is someone whose name was not trailed, probably for obvious reasons.

Douglas Hogg (Hogg by name; hog by nature)...or to the likes of you and me, the Noble Viscount HailSHAM.

Readers of Munguin's Republic will recall him being mentioned here before.

He's a pathetically laughable little man, who is clearly absolutely determined to get his scrawny backside on a red bench no matter what it takes, and totally oblivious to the humiliation that trying over and over again and being rejected each time, would be caused in normal people.

Let's remind ourselves of his history. Hoggy the Hogg became the 3rd Viscount Hailsham upon the death of his father in 2001. His father had disclaimed the title for life in 1963, but young Douglas clearly wanted it badly. He was an MP at the time, but as this was after the Lords reforms of 1999, despite inheriting the title he did not inherit a seat and could stay on in the lower house.

He remained in the Commons until 2010 when he stood down having been ridiculed for his ridiculous expenses claims by the Tory Daily Telegraph. He had claimed for, amongst other items... 
Château Hogg; You should see it,
after all you seem to have paid for a lot of it 

  • £2,000 moat cleaning;
  • £18,000 for a gardener;
  • £40 piano tuning;
  • £200 annual Aga cooker maintenance;
  • £4,500 for ‘machines and fuel’;
  • £1,000 for lawn mowing;
  • £700 fees for a ‘mole man’;
  • The costs of running his housekeeper’s car;
  • Thousands in repairs, including for his stables; and
  • £93 for tongs!!!
It is said that Cameron made a deal with him then. If he would decline to stand as an MP (and save the Conservatives the embarrassment of having to campaign for a trougher), he (Cameron) would put him (Hoggy) forward as a life peer. That would mean that as well as holding his hereditary Viscount title, he would be able to actually sit in the House of Lords as a Baron...or life peer. Well, I did say he was greedy!

Unfortunately for him the House of Lords' Appointment Commission, not unreasonably, found him an unsuitable person for elevation to the peerage.

Now that would have been embarrassment enough for most people, but not for our dear Hog!

Oh no. 

As a Viscount he was entitled to stand for election to the Lords upon the death of a sitting peer. He did this early in 2013, and once again he was thwarted as his fellow noblemen also didn't think him suitable material and voted for someone else.

So, he had now been rejected twice...once by the Appointments people and once by his fellow peers. It seemed that no one wanted him in the Lords... 

Most decent people would have gone and hidden under a stone. 

But nope, not our little piggy. Within a few months another Lord had gone to the big trough in the sky and the good Viscount put his name forward again.

Desperation or what?

Once again his fellow peers rejected him as unsuitable and elected another peer.

But give Hoggy his due. He's a trier, and you know what they say about triers!

It probably helps that he's an Old Etonian and an Oxford man, but somehow he persuaded Cameron to put him forward again. And this time he's done it.
Hoggy the Hogg
He's managed to get himself through the selection committee and on to the gravy train. Either they are getting slacker about suitability criteria or they are just fed up with his name coming up again and again.

So he's made it, and ermine shall be his (and £300 a day tax free to help pay for the moat and the cook's car).

What a pathetic little man he is.

Welcome to Britain, the country that goes around the world lecturing non royal heads of government of smaller states on democracy. Welcome to the laughing stock of the world.


  1. Makes China look as a fully functioning democracy, British standards.

    1. British values that they all go on about are some sort of bloody joke.

      If my values equated to the British values that actually exist as opposed to those that they SAY exist, I'd be thoroughly ashamed.

  2. Now we know, why Darling etal fought so hard. Twas not to save their glorious union, the bestest union in the history of the universe, but to ensure their snouts were in the trough for a life time; bastards.

    1. Yes, there was a huge amount of self interest.

      The Noble Baron of UKOK and Baroness Diet Pill have done nicely out of it.

      I'm still taken with Lord Dirty Moat though!

  3. What?

    You go through all this Tris and no mention of Maggie's favourite "son"?

    Surely this can only have been a slight oversight on your part. Nev er mind though cause here is a full list of all those well endearing souls now enamored with their very own cloak of ermine.

    Oh in case you haven't worked out who Maggie's favourite son is yet Tris I am of course referring to that well endowed, with hair, Willaim Hague!

    1. Yes, Arbroath, I admit it. I missed that wee nyaff out.

      What was that for? Services to shutting down embarrassing inquiries?

  4. Just as a wee add-on to my last post Tris.

    If you can stomach reading down the full list you will see that the REAL people who are "awarded" bits of ribbon to stick on their jaikets numbers THREE in total as opposed to the masses of hinger-ons!

    1. That's what I hate most about the British honours system.

      If you're lower class, beneath stairs, you get some poxy little trinket that's no earthly use no matter how much you have done.

      Mind, I can;t help thinking that the Downing Street gardener probably got paid for doing the garden... so why he was needing a trinket, I don't know.

      Wasn't it the late Michael Winner who was offered an MBE for his services to film making and who turned it down because that was the kind of award that cleaners got...

  5. “The Lords are an archaic anomaly which fuels disillusionment with British politics. It exists purely on a democratic deficit which has been allowed to evolve unchecked for centuries.” - Peter Hain MP for Neath, November 2014

    1. Ahhh yes, that will be Lord Hain of Hypocrisy, I suspect!

      He didn't take terribly long to change his mind about that.

  6. Come on think on the bright side Mone lingerie by Royal appointment made in China what's not to laugh about it.

    1. I suppose it's funny.

      I see that a move to the aristocracy hasn;t improved her taste.

      Stay classy Michelle. That's neat tweet.

      If anyone ever criticises me for portraying her in a bra, and little else (which most of her photos on the net seem to be), I shall remember the very "lady" like tweet to he ma and pa.


      The irony just goes on and on....

    3. Aye but they do do irony just ever so well don't they Tris?

      Oh hang on a minute THEY do NOT do irony well do they cause THEY are serious about all this spangling things hanging off bits of ribbon. Obviously this is Cameron cutting DOWN on Westminster expenditure ... I'd hate to see what he does when he tries to INCREASE Westminster expenditure then!

    4. Be a bit like when he tries to reduce immigration and it goes up.

      Still he reckons he can get rid of 50 elected members to Westminster after 2020, and without the pesky Liberals to spike his guns... who knows. Labour will probably just vote with him, or abstain, or whatever...

      If he got rid of all the elected members he could appoint all the upper house members and then he could have it his way for ever and ever.


  7. I think you're being a bit unfair to Peter Hain. He hasn't changed his mind.

    If Labour didn't send anyone to the Lords, that wouldn't do them much good.

    That aside, today's list is an absolute joke. Clegg, Cameron and Osborne's office managers get gongs? Clegg's campaign agent gets a badge for helping him get re-elected?! The Downing Street dinner lady gets a gold star?

    The Lords and the honours system are both completely past their sell-by date. They need a radical reform (preferably axing altogether).

    Arise, Sir Danny Alexander! Arise, Sir Vince! So Twickenham has lost you for good.

    "An ermine-lined dustbin, an up-market geriatric home with a faint smell of urine." - Austin Mitchell on the House of Lords

    1. I'm not sure what Hain intends to do, Mister_tmg. If Miliband wanted him in the House of Lords to effect change, he really should have added to the list a bit more. The anti-Lords brigade is short by about 750 members.

      There are some members who would vote themselves (and their £300 a day tax free wage) out of existence, but there are many more who will vote to continue their privileged existence.

      The reforms of 1999 were ridiculous. They simply created this massive space for prime ministerial (and other leaders') patronage, whilst getting rid of a load of people who never turned up anyway, except for using the bars and restaurant when they were "in-town".

      The most repugnant part of the whole thing is that the failures (with the electorate) can be, and are, offered seats in parliament and (in the case of the Liberals) seats in shadow cabinet. If the electorate rejects you you shouldn't be elevated. It's like the Establishment is telling us that, stupid people that we are, we made the wrong decision to chuck someone out off the Commons gravy train...but not to worry, the top people will put it right.

      Apparently Cable and Alexander were actually offered seats in the Lords, but turned them down and got the runners up prize.

      I can see your argument that Labour has to send people to the Lords, because it is part of the governance of the country, but to me there is nothing more hypocritical than a Labour aristocrat, as I have told several of them, not least the Noble Baron Foulkes.

      It's what Labour was set up to fight, and I simply can't see them dressed in ermine without laughing at them.

      Darling used to march under a banner calling for a republic. Now he's just one of them.

      I wish Hain luck with his reform of the House of Lords. Cameron is absolutely determined to have as little change as possible. But to reduce the cost of government he does want to reduce the number of these pesky elected people from 650 too 600.

      I like Austin Mitchell's description. Mind you the up-market is becoming more and more dubious... Michael Martin? Michelle Mone?

  8. I imagine it's only Dave who can send more to the Lords. Yes, the 1999 reforms didn't go far enough. Labour's 2015 manifesto proposed to replace it with a second elected chamber. I'm glad the Mirror has recently launched a campaign to get rid of it.

    You make a good point about the people the electorate rejected being offered seats. You're right that Vince turned down the Lords - so he could easily stand again for Parliament!

    The mug you posted is appropriate. I can only hope they make it part of their next manifesto. Maybe the Sewel thing has woken the public up a bit. Of course Labour should be against it. Barbara Castle was asked why she went into the European Parliament and the House of Lords, two institutions she opposed. Her answer was, "if you are critical of an institution, it's far better to study it from inside than from outside."

    I liked Austin's description too. A couple more...

    "The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days." - Clement Attlee

    "The House of Lords is the British Outer Mongolia for retired politicians." - Tony Benn

    1. Yes, Eton Boy has the privilege, but I imagine by convention he has to ask other leaders for their proposals.

      I don;t know what right he has to limit their numbers. There was certainly a ridiculous number of Tory peers created this time round. It was also a terrible insult to the people that they created 11 Liberal Democrats when the could only manage 8 in elections.

      As the article above demonstrated I have the lowest possible regard for the thieving Viscount. The man clearly has no shame. He was caught pocketing public money (despite already being very rich), then he wanted to be put forward for the Lords and failed; then he stood for election to the Lords TWICE and was not elected TWICE and still he wanted to go forward again.

      I wonder what changed about him since the committee found him an unsuitable candidate in 2010, and how he will feel in a chamber which quite clearly didn't want him.

      Still he seems to have the skin of a hippo, so I expect he'll be oblivious to all the disapproval (including that in today's newspapers).

      I see Mrs Castle's point, and in many situations, she would be right...but she didn't change either institution, adn neither will Hain.

      I doubt any of us will. The whole thing is far to important to the Establishment.

      We can only hope that it sinks into the Thames before too long.

      Thanks for the quotes.

      Even Tony Benn couldn't change the horrible institution.

  9. Not only do you need to kick these British bastard out of Scotland but we need to kick the thieving bastards out of England too.

    1. I don;t think Scotland wants to kick anyone out. I just think we should abandon the House of Lords. refuse to refurbish it, and stop it meeting.

      If the people who were in it want to call themselves Lords, who are we to spoil their childish games of princesses and fairies. Just no expenses, no subsided meals and booze and no part in running the country.

    2. They can go to Buck house plenty overnight accommodation even though they might have to double up on occasions, polluter pays an all that.

    3. I think they like doubling up!

  10. With regards to the Labour mug, they have been taking us for mugs, since at least 1910.

    1. Still, it's got a better messaging on it, than the immigration crap that they came out with.

    2. Aye that was a corker!!!

      Mr Hardie would have had real problems drinking out of that!

      I'm trying hard to imagine what kind of prat thought that that was a good idea!

    3. To jimnarlene: Wow... I didn't realise there were super-centenarians on this site who can remember so far back!

  11. They seem to see themselves as laparoscopes, inserting themselves into this diseased organ of the state to remove this hideous growth on the laughable thing which comprises "British Democracy".

    Keyhole surgery only works if the person working the laparoscope knows what he is doing. I suspect David Cameron and the Hanoverians are well able to hike the disease, until there are more members of the House of Shite than there are on the electoral register.

    1. Ewww, I'm trying hard not to think of the implications there.

      I was just saying to my neighbour (ardent republican, but strangely unionist) today that we may be the only two in a couple of years who don't have a title.

  12. Quite possibly the biggest shower of shit ever "ennobled" in one go.

    1. And there's quite a lot of competition.