CULTURE: AND NOW FOR SOME POETRY

OK, I just had to share this one with you guys.

Danny (Munguin's Man in America) sent me this poem and the history below.

Now to understand it fully you have to know that the symbol for the GOP or Republicans is an elephant.

And a sort of unofficial representation for the Democrats has been a donkey. For explanations of these symbols, see below.

So with that knowledge to hand here is the poem. (Don't worry: Milton it isn't and it's very short.)

The election is over,
The talking is done.
Your party lost,
My party won.
So let us be friends,
Let arguments pass.
I'll hug your elephant,
If you kiss my ass.



Explanation time!

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic 
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the 
summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the 
winter.


The two most important events in all of history were the invention 
of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to 
get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern 
civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of 
humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the 
beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can 
were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around 
waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the 
brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at 
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what 
is known as the Conservative movement...

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to 
live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and 
doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the 
beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became 
known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include 
the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group 
hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide 
the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, 
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are 
symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most 
prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but 
like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard 
liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of 
their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most 
social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in 
Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the 
designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher 
also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat 
red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big 
game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, 
firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate 
executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and 
generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own 
companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the 
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals 
believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why 
 most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were 
coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and 
created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: