Saturday 4 December 2010


It appears from the cables to Washington of the American ambassador and his deputy, that Britain has been sickeningly creepy in their subservience to America and positively paranoid about the imagined fragility of the imagined special relationship.

As I listened to the commentators on radio this morning, I was reminded of early teenage romance and the insecurity it brings; the constant attention to any sign of a cooling from the tenor of a text message to a smile at a potential rival.

So it has been, particularly since Barack Obama entered the White House, with Number 10 and its paramour.

One cable said the British fawning "would often be humorous if it were not so corrosive". They were tempted to take advantage of it to "make London more willing to respond favourably when pressed for assistance".

Another said that Britain would give "unparalleled" help for America to satisfy its aims.... (like go to war; arrange for dossiers to be “dodgy”; tell lies to parliament?)

The British attitude was described elsewhere as neurotic. On taking up the presidency Mr Obama returned the bust of Churchill that Tony Blair had lent George Bush. It was seen as a snub by the UK, whereas in fact, it was Mr Obama being polite enough to return something that President Bush had forgotten. Britain worried that in a speech listing his allies Mr Obama mentioned France and Germany before Britain causing the FCO the heartache that only a spurned teenager knows.

Brown was largely seen as unstable and presiding over a government that lurched from disaster to disaster. (Tell us something we didn’t know.) Cameron and Osborne were seen as shallow, lacking a grasp on political reality and only interested in short term political gain for their party. Fox promised a very pro-American arms procurement plan and said he would deal with those in the party who were against it (Ha ha ha. As if Fox could deal with squat!) Hague went into raptures over how every British PM soon “learns of the essential nature of the relationship with America. We want a pro-American regime. We need it. The world needs it." He might have continued that the universe needed it and prostrated himself before the Ambassador promising eternal devotion. (You’ll remember that almost before he had sat down at his desk in the FCO he was on a plane to America to do some heavy-duty creeping.

What I find particularly disturbing is a lengthy dispatch from the Deputy Head of mission stating: "The UK's commitment of resources: financial, military, diplomatic, in support of US global priorities remains unparalleled; a UK public confident that the USG values those contributions and our relationship, matters to US national security.

"Britain's willingness to invest in expensive weaponry is a key part of the so-called special relationship. The UK's annual military budget is running at £37billion. "

So now we know why we live in poverty, our roads and railways are third world and care of children and old people amongst the worst in Europe. It appears that if we don’t overspend on military equipment the US will stop going out with us.

This brings to mind the series of leaks and angry statements from one of the two “lightweights” when Fox was trying to keep military spending high despite dramatic cuts elsewhere. One telephone call to the Prime Minister from Mrs Clinton and lo, Osborne was overruled.

People worry about the EU’s influence over the UK. I worry far more about the fact the it only takes one phone call from Washington for our policy to be changed overnight in an embarrassing prime ministerial u-turn.

How does it feel to be the 51st state; the one right after Hawaii?

Pics: (1) Who the hell is that guy over there with the polished face? He come to sell me a car? (2) Listen up Cameron. Increase military spending otherwise you’re NOT on a promise. (3) Ohhhhhh I say matron. (4) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, do you like my baseball cap? Should I wear it the other way round? D’yall thank it makes me look lak a reeeeeeal cool American dude?


  1. Jings Tris,I was just reading about this a few minutes ago. If that's the way the US see our politicians, how do you think the unelected bunch in Brussels see them? More concerning really.

  2. Thanks God for wikileaks: now we knew that the UK was the (very) junior partner but not only that but it’s now official that we are the USA’s cloying stalker! An embarrassing ex-paramour that you can’t shake off and no matter how hard you slap him in the face he just comes back with a bigger bunch of flowers. Truly sickening! It really makes you embarrassed to be a member of this spineless nation!

    Now its official thanks to wikileaks we know that the USA thought that Brown was a nutcase and his government a disaster area while Cameron is a half-wit only interested in furthering the short term aims of the Tory party. I really don’t know whether to laugh or cry, God to we need independence from the English.

  3. yet despite this america send scotland a support message for st.andrews day.what does that say?

  4. To be honest SR, I imagine they think the same as the Americans. But they are not so important to the Brits, so the Brits don't suck up so much to them.

    Compare that to the way Alex treated America over the senators' demands. Respectfully but firmly.

    I'm glad I'm Scottish and not British. I would be so ashamed if I were.

  5. LOL @ Munguin.

    We knew most of it but it's good to have it confirmed.

  6. Hi Hector... Welcome to Munguin's Republic.

    yes , that's cheering...Despite the fact that they were well displeased with us over the Megrahi affair...

    Scotland would get on in the world by being true to itself and not creeping...

    Alex was polite with the Senators who wanted him to attend a hearing in Congress, but equally firm as befits a head of government. Unlike Cameron who changed the whole defence budget on a telephone call from Mrs Clinton.

  7. Tris

    The United Kingdom has 'The Special Relationship' with the USA.

    Which means we get to be Fucked over first and we get to kiss their arse afterwards.....Know that's special.

    and as Wikileaks reveal

    And then they go to the nearest Bar and tell everybody who will listen what an easy slag the British are

  8. Sounds as if you were speaking from experience there, Munguin.

    Actually, it seems that Blair would have been up for attacking Iraq even if Bush had not ordered him to do so.

    As for Brown, his low point was after he followed Mr President into the kitchen Obama asked him to do the dishes and he licked them clean.

    Another of his moments, apart from slagging off an old lady who supported Labour, was when he referred to Omaha Beach as Obama beach.

    What is it with Labourites and old ladies?

  9. Shocked Nope UK has been bootlicking for decades its inbred. What this does show is that all unionists are a charade and will do anything to get them upfront on the world stage as if they have morals and are defenders of the people, no way.

    Next years leaks on a major US bank will bring turmoil across the world which is liable to turn very nasty.

    This man should of been President

  10. I could see the point of Britain crawling to the US is there appeared to be some benefit from it.

    A share in the oil fields of Iraq perhaps, maybe some concessions on oil and gas transport out of Central Asia for Afghanistan but there appears to be nothing on offer for all the crawling and for all the dead troops.

    Blair was fascinated by fame and power. He was like a moth round the bright lights of the White House and everything he did including Iraq was purely so that he could wander round in jeans and an open-necked shirt alongside Bush in his flying jacket showing to the cameras just how much of a special friend he was to the biggest neo-con of them all.

    Blair wasn't exceptional, just more of a whore for the camera. From the information everyone else in the UK Government appears to be just as fascinated with being a special friend as Blair was. Labour or Tory, there's no difference in their crawling to the US or to pandering to its foreign policy needs, usually to the detriment of Britain's own interests.

  11. That's interesting CH. Some of the Libertarian movement is calling for more leaks from Wiki, and others are calling for Julian Assange to be executed. Sounds seriously like the more intelligent ones (like Ron Paul) want more info and the hayseeds like Huckaby and Saucy Sarah was the executions!! Who would have thunk it?

    I think you should split on the banks though CH... Only fair I should get the price-Williams millions out first, don't you think? It can go under my mattress

  12. You have a charming turn of phrase, but if you strip out the sweary words, you're actually quite right. As I said, I'm proud not to be British. Scotland deals with America on a much more sensible level.

  13. Oooops... the above was directed at you Niko

  14. John, it's hard to know what Blair's motives were. Was he as much of a stupid warmonger as Bush? He shouldn't have been. From all that we read Blair really is quite clever as well as being a spin merchant. I think he got to Oxford thanks to brains, as opposed to money.

    Bush, they said, was more intelligent that he seemed.... yeah but if he'd been as thick as he seemed he'd have had to be dressed in the morning.

    I wonder if history will tell, or will we all be dead before the truth is revealed.

    I meant to write a bit more on Brown and the kitchen episode... and the frantic phone calls that preceded Brown following Obama everywhere he went in case someone took a photo of them together.

    Downing Street: Please can the prime minister meet with the president; oh please, pretty please...we’ll do anything, absolutely anything, in return.

    White House: Pfffff. You’ll do anything anyway you sad, pathetic losers. No. Mr Obama is far too busy to meet with your Mr Callaghan.

  15. Doug: Not seen you for a while. How you doing?

    I’m not sure when it started or why. Perhaps the Second World War when America started to really be the big cheese. In a desperate attempt to pretend that Britain still mattered, I guess they all trooped around saying yes to anything that they wanted in order to retain some measure of world importance.

    The spectacle of Mrs Thatcher making eyes at “Ronnie” was stomach churning, but the Blair thing with Bush was positively unhealthy, and the Brown thing with Obama hilarious. Now that we know what Obama thinks of Dave, I’m going to choke with laughter every time I see them together.

    Every time the Brits fall over backwards for them we get nothing.... except a seat at the top table. All the reconstruction on Iraq went to American forms (most I should think owned by Haliburton). Niko, for all the crudity of the language, is bang on about what happens.

    I’m not a huge fan of the EU, although it paid my salary for a good few years. I’d far rather the continent stay a lovely patchwork of magical, interesting and totally different states, there for me to visit, but I think that we have far more to fear from being done over by Washington than by Brussels.

  16. I just had a look at The Tory Diary and they have a list of the Wikicomments on Labour’s people:

    Balls: Charmless, Harman: Lightweight, Brown: Abysmal, McBride: Particularly unpleasant, David Miliband: Egghead.

    Hilarious summation of the government members of your greatest ally....

    Being the Tory Diary of course they have neglected to point out that David and George were lightweight too, or that they coked themselves over the antics of Fox and Hague.

    Good news tonight it that good old Switzerland has refused to pull the plug on the new Wikileaks’ address. The police are looking for Julian, which is really bad news, as I guess they will be under orders from America to send him to Sweden immediately. The good news is it’s the Met that is looking for him, and we all know they are about as much use as Elmer Fudd on a bad day, so he’s got a fair chance.

    He’s welcome to my spare room.

  17. Talking of the Met...

    Do you think they put Cressida Dickhead in charge of this...

  18. Despite strict new rules on expenses, MPs cash in on 'THIRD HOME ploy'

    Peace at last: Gordon Brown on life after Downing Street and so so all of us.

    Extracts from Gordon Brown's Beyond The Crash will appear in the Guardian on Monday 6 December and Tuesday 7 December. To read these online go to

    And this one will be fun watching oranges getting squeezed.
    Fight of the week

  19. CH: I'm going to try to put up these pics from the Mail. That is just plain disgusting.

    It didn't take the greasy little toad long to get his book sorted. Not bad when you're getting paid £65,000 a year for stitting on your backside at home writing your "memoires".

    I wonder if he will give his royalties to charity...

  20. Damned if he does; damned if he doesn't. He's just damned.

    I wonder if this is the end of the beginning, or the beginning of the end... or it in fact it is both... it certainly isn't "neither".