Monday 20 December 2010


Thanks to everyone who took the time to take part in the poll on the English police’s reaction to His Royal Highness The Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Duke of Rothesay, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland, Prince of Wales, Knight of the Thistle, Knight of the Garter, Knight Grand Cross of the Order of Bath, Member of the Order of Merit, Knight of the Order of Australia, Companion of the Queen's Service Order, Privy Counsellor, Aide-de-Camp, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Earl of Carrick* and his companion Her Royal Highness Mrs Parker-Bowles being disrupted on their way to the theatre in a Rolls Royce and provocatively bedecked with more bling that any of the rest of us are likely to see in our entire lives.

It had been suggested by the London police chief, Paul Stephenson, that his officers, specially attached to the royal personage, had only one duty, and that was to get their “principle” to where he was supposed to be going. Nothing else mattered. I remember listening to him and his mate Boris Johnston spluttering on about the outrage of the heir to the throne having to be delayed getting to the theatre, and Mrs Parker-Bowles frightened out of her life by ordinary but angry people. He was adamant that his men had behaved with restraint because they had the right to shoot people. ...And not one single soul had been shot! Goodness. Copngratualtions to the police for that excellent piece of work. And not a passing newspaper vendor killed either. Magical.

The argument then opened up beyond shooting peasants to the use of various and sundry other crowd control methods, such as tazers, tear gas and water cannon. Boris Johnston chuntered on in buffoonish fashion that we British peasants were lucky that, unlike these Europeans, OUR lovely rozers didn’t use these methods of crowd control. (Although that’s not entirely true, and they do in any, case kettle people for up to 12 hours without toilet facilities, charge at them on horseback, turn them out of their wheel chairs and drag them across the road, and of course kill the odd passerby on his way home from work (although clearly not if he is on his way to the theatrein a dinner jacket).

As they were talking, I was imagining what would have happened had the royal protection officers decided to kill a few people as examples to the rest, obviously in order that they complete successfully their mission of getting this "principle" to his night out. I had my ideas as to what would have followed, but I was interested to see how people, from a fairly wide political spectrum and an extremely wide geographical area, who read this blog, felt.

So, here we have the results:

83% felt that shooting the protesters would provoke much more severe problems including civil disobedience. (Personally I would be surprised if someone didn’t burn down Clarence House and then Scotland Yard and then the Houses of Parliament.)

14% felt that it would escalate crowd trouble.

I was actually quite surprised that only 5% thought it would be reasonable to use water cannon, tazers or tear gas, I’d have thought more might have been happy to see control brought back to the streets by these methods, used commonly elsewhere in Europe.

That 8% thought that the police should have shot people who were threatening a late arrival at the theatre of their Hallowednesses, was I thought, quite shocking.

But I suppose we should know that in this country, the value that is put on the life of a newspaper salesman is not necessarily the same as the value of the life of a son of the Queen.

Grateful thanks once again to all who took part.

(*PS: It seems to me like Charles Philip Arthur George has around 15 jobs there. Does the government not think that in these times of economic depression it is unreasonable that one man hole down 15 government funded jobs? Should he not lose 14 of them to other people about to be made redundant?)


  1. I hope he doesn't answer the phone giving all his titles. I was exhausted just reading the titles.

  2. Tris

    Off topic i know but a little while ago you mentioned raising the minimum wage to encourage
    those on benefits to work.

    Duncan’s Economic Blog
    Increase Wages to End the Crisis (Says the IMF!)

    Duncan (who is an Economic genius)

    has a good post on raising wages

    I did read some but it hurt me head you see us Unionists need to have our thinking done for us.

  3. That is a smart 8% reading your blog there Tris lol

    But in all seriousness, joking aside, I share your surprise that more didn't vote for watercannon etc, something I think is long overdue for introduction in the UK.

  4. Tris

    Totally off topic but I thought that this might amuse you.

    Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
    This is a strictly mathematical goes like this:

    What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

    Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    is represented as:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.


    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


    11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

    AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

    So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

  5. Tris

    As a P.S.

    Its amazing how many people in the 113% I used to work with.

  6. LOl Alan: I doubt the old fool can remember them all. I must admit I had to look them up and I didn't know that he's prince of Scotland.

    How awful.

    I think he should give that one to me. I'd be grand at the job.

  7. Tell you what Niko, as this is Christmas, so they tell me at least and seeing as you are a very special friend, I'll have a look at your economic genius friend's posts, and as Nationalists don't need anyone to do their thinking for them (not even themselves), I'll come back and give you my unthoughtout opinion...

    Can't say fairer than that can I?

  8. Only smart people read this blog Dean. It's the writers that are a tad on da dim side :)

    Instead of water cannon, why don't they just use some of the nuclear bombs they have. I mean they cost us an arm and a leg and they're about to go out of date, so it's a pity to waste them.

    That would keep these middle class protesting scum at bay doncha think.... he he.

    Btw, how did the exams go?

  9. LOL Dubs... that's pretty neat, and indisputable, as you say!!

    Thanks for passing it on....

  10. Good Lord Niko... What's this? That document was millions of pages long. It would take me until 2013 to read it.

    I see through your cunning plan to keep me at my computer till well after the next election so that my talented electioneering skills will be denied to the cause of Scottish nationalism...

    Ha ha ha... but you don't fool me that easy, oh no Niko!1

    Anyway, never mind about the economic arguments for a living wage for people who work all week, how about an argument based on decency...

    The economics will follow, I promise you.

  11. Dubs,

    I have a new plan of attack...


    That should get me to the top.

  12. Tris

    I used to work with a lot of people who were asleep at the wheel, now we know their secret.

  13. Tris,

    Atomic bomb? lol, a bit risky - that nuclear cloud and all ... could force the Mafia ... sorry Royal Family to give up some of their properties. That wouldn't do at all :)

    Exams? They went well, I shall find out as of January some point as to ouverall module grades. My dissertation is nearly 2/3 drafted too, on social policy mechanisms inside the EU..all is well in the land of coursework.

  14. LOL Dean... glad to hear that it progresses...

    Yeah, I've always thought it would take an atom bomb to get that lot's wallets open, or let us have some of the properties back...

    Still, we'd only waste them. You can bet Nick Clegg would like an official residence and Kensington Palace would be just the right thing for him

  15. Dubs... well, now you know!!

  16. Water cannon would anyone want protesters sprayed with water collected from the Thames which runs like an open sewer somedays. I couldn't do that even to Niko notwithstanding of the permament physical injury that this weapon can cause.

  17. CH...I'm sure it must be against people's human rights to have Thames Water aka diluted Typhoid sprayed on them. What would that do the Olympics turn out?

    Apropos of which... I read somewhere that people won’t be allowed into the stadia if they are disporting Burger King T shirts, or PepsiCo hats, or “I’m with Virgin” or whatever apparel. It’s all to do with the sponsorship deals...

    Isn’t that an open invitation for everyone who is a little disgruntled and yet has tickets for some event to test what they will do? Students be aware. Don't bother rioting in the freezing cold of winter; don't even bother poking Diana Parker Bowles with whatever you wish to poke her with... just turn up enmasse wearing suitably printed t-shirts. If there is one thing they hate it is being made to look like eejits in front of the world.

    And security guards won’t be able to beat the living daylights out of them like they would normally do, because there will be cameras everywhere because of the terrorist threat.


  18. Ah, Dean, if only the police had the balls to use real cannons.

    If you need some sage advice on Social Policy you could ask Niko. He can tell you about Labour's social policy. It's brand new and never been used.

    PS: Good luck with your exams but with the education you get on this blog I'm sure you won't need it.

  19. But if poor Big Ears had to give up all these sinecures how would he get the medals to stick on the royal chest when he appears in uniform?

  20. Aye, this blog is indeed an education in and of itself John (as long as you're not too bothered about orthography).

  21. Well Richard, I was considering giving that some thought, and then I thought, nah, I think I'll not bother thinking about that on the basis that I don't really care much what he does with all his medals... But maybe you have a suggestion?


  22. Tris

    Maybe you could help me here.

    Just what exactly did big chick do to get all these medals?

  23. Dubbieside,

    Tackling Camilla must take a degree of courage.

  24. Dubs

    That's a good question. I think the guy got himself born in the right place ...or right palace even

  25. John,

    I think that he deserves some medal for taking that on, although now she's got her hands on the money after all these years she seems strangely happy to leave him alone. I wonder why...