Wednesday 15 December 2010

Which Scottish RAF base will close?

Dark clouds rumble over Scottish RAF bases. RAF Kinloss is no longer required and two other, as yet, unnamed bases, are also surplus to requirements.

There is a great deal of speculation in Scotland that one of these bases will be either RAF Lossiemouth or RAF Leuchars with the spotlight so far falling mostly on the former.

In Moray a vociferous Moray Taskforce has built up significant momentum and it now seems that in this game of blind man’s buff, RAF chiefs favour keeping Lossiemouth and ditching Leuchars.

As yet nobody knows. But it would sure put all of their gasses at a peep if the RAF decided that the two bases should be Lossiemouth AND Leuchars.

So why the uncertainty? Why can’t they just come out and tell us which is going and which is staying? Surely the great and good in our dear coalition government must know!

Well just to be "perfectly" clear: “call me dave” has said that the decision will be based solely on budgetary considerations. Meanwhile Basil Brush at the War Office has said that only defence issues would be taken into consideration. And, finally, at the finance ministry, second in command Ginger (Ginge) Rodent has said that the impact on Moray’s economy would be a factor.

So as usual the coalition’s “respect agenda” has render us up another turkey stuffed with a steam roller shaped mess, where nobody seems to know what they are talking about. Nothing new there then!

Loquacious as usual, an RAF spokesman has said that “no decision has been made on which bases or on any future use”. (And that's a direct quote.) That’s as clear as mud then!

Isn't it nice to know that Danny champion of the world is so worried about the Moray economy. That must be
huge relief to the electors in this SNP stronghold. Maybe Danny thinks they will all switch to voting for the Lib Dems en masse. However, the folk in Lib Dem held North East Fife can clearly go and get stuffed. Not good news for the Emperor Ming then! Serves him right for standing by that horrid inconvenient pledge he made to students.

Needless to say the Scottish Tories are outraged at the thought of closing either and have vowed to fight, fight, fight, and call an emergency debate in the Scottish Parliament today. That will make a lot of difference then!

Leader of the Scottish Labour clique Elmer Fudd displayed that stunning intellect and a brain even bigger
than Wendy Alexander’s when he said that the suggestion that Leuchars could close made yesterday “a dark day for Scotland” because it will “devastate families and decimate some of Fife’s great towns”. Has it occurred to him the Lossiemouth is also in Scotland? Silly question!

Metal Mickey Moore the Scottish secretary said.........well nothing!

So there you are. The policy seems to be either; we don’t have a policy, or can’t make up our mind what it is, or keep 'em guessing. They're only jocks after all!

Pictured are: The Emperor Ming despares over North Fife economy while trying to stem the Lib Dem's slip in the polls: Another day of quantative easing for Ginge the Rodent at the Treasury: Defence Secretary Basil Brush testing out the latest equipment for Afghanistan: Scottish Secretary Metal Mickey discusses Lib Dem student pledge with prospective voter.


  1. I see Marnham is falling off the radar it wouldnt be political, heaven forbid.

    RAF stations

  2. "Needless to say the Scottish Tories are outraged at the thought of closing either and have vowed to fight, fight, fight, and call an emergency debate in the Scottish Parliament today. That will make a lot of difference then!"

    If we had more Scottish Conservative MPs ... we may be able to make a real difference, a shoot lot more than Admiral Angus speaking for the Nats in Westminster, but I think we should focus on what we AGREE ON: closure of our Scottish RAF bases are NOT an option. Let us unite behind this fact.

    p.s. Favourate Ming the merciless line from Flash: "You foolish earthlings! Hurling your bodies out into the volt!" :D classic movie, love the reference!

  3. Just how thick is Elmer Rent a Quote Fudd?

    What a meaningless load of drivel. Wherever there are closures it will be a dark day; it will devistate and decimate, probably even worse.

    I suppose if he were in power (heaven forbid)nothing would ever close again.

    But, having got that little bit of nastiness out of the way I think Dean is right. We should pull togetehr on this one. We can't afford to lose the jobs anywhere in Scotland.

    I have to say I'm surprised at the lack of concern here from Michael MacMoore.

  4. CH: I don't know about RAF Marham. I was assuming that Marham and one other Scottish one is to close but who knows/ This loony government runs around like a headless chicked from one daft faux pas to another. So maybe Marham will stay open and both Lossiemouth and Leuchgars will close, after all it sound like it votes Tory!

  5. Dean. I think we can also agree on the rather undignified and certainly unedifying spectacle of Scottish Tories pledging to fight Tory cuts. Nobody believes them you see.

    More Scottish Tory MPs? You must be joking, so they can be satisfied that the whole country voted for their slimy backsliding, lying, cheating, nasty, manifesto busting brand of “lets be clear”. I don’t think so and clearly neither do a lot of other people otherwise why are the wonderful old Tories not streets ahead of Labour in the polls?

  6. Tris he obviously thought that up all by himself. It shows!

  7. Munguin,

    Why aren't we ahead in the polls? The real question is this: given the scale of the unpopular things this coaliton has done, and will do, why is Labour onot leading in the polls?

  8. Munquin,

    That's a bit harsh, leave that nonsense to Niko and myself and don't lower yourself to our serfish(geddit?)level. God save the Queen. What a feckin great castle she's got in Windsor -it could accommodate all Britain's homeless with room to spare. Which it will when I am the (sometimes) benevolent dictator.


    "devistate", another black mark from Munquin for lowering the tone, tsk, tsk!


    I agree with you, once again, which is rather worrying! As for your "If we had more Scottish Conservative MPs" was it Kipling or Tunnocks who said "If you have dreams?".

  9. Dean,

    At the moment the polls have them neck and neck with Labour but wait until the increase in VAT takes effect.... Would it not have been better to put VAT up on luxuries and lower them on essentials?

  10. I'm devastated that that error somehow got through the stringent quality control system that we have installed here at Munguin's Republic. Munguin didn't get to be a media mogul by being sloppy.

    Someone will pay for this with his head... if not his life.

  11. Would some-one more erudite (you're excused Tris) tell me if that is how you spell "luxuries" - it looks wrong but so does "luxurys"??

  12. I have feelings you know Mr B...

    "ies" is correct... of course probably you'll want it confirmed by someone else with more erudition than I.

  13. Tris

    Oh here they come again crawling and sniveling on their snake like bellys....only this time the snp begs and begs and begs again from the English..

    Pleese! Pleese! Pleese! Our English masters dont take away your RAF bases ....we dint mean all the nasty things we said over Independence
    you wont hurt us will you sir (bows slowly)

    consistency never one of the snps strong points
    Look as a Nationalist you tell them English B'st'rds to Feck off with their Unionist war machines which make Scotland the no 1 target for nuking(long before any English areas)

    and we would rather live in ditch and eat mud as long as it was a Scottish ditch and Scottish mud.
    we have long endured this Unionist overlordship
    and it is time for it to end.... better an unemployment line the length and breath of scotland than employment by the death dealing English armed forces.....

  14. Dean I thought you said the Tories were following a “progressive” agenda? Now its unpopular!

  15. Brownlie

    'erudite' type of high performance adhesive you can buy

  16. Brownlie, I’m very sorry must have got a bit carried away!

  17. Brownlie

    'another black mark from Munquin for lowering the tone, tsk, tsk!

    Now of you really want to lower the tone just ask Deano to get his 'tits' out..........Ooopmh!

  18. Er thank you Niko insightful as always!

  19. My spelling is atroshus so I am unable to criticise except when 'lose' and 'loose' get mixed up by the educated. Just watched The War You Don't See from one of your sidebar links and recommend that it as essential viewing for staunch unionists(Dean,Niko,etc).

  20. Niko.
    If Scottish soldiers and airmen have to die in their wars, fought only for the glory of the UK government, at present represented by Call me Dave and Basil Brush, so that they can creep even farther up the backside of the American president, while he laughs his head off at the pathos of their desperation, the least the bastards can do is throw our hard pressed communities some of the riches that go with their militarism. If they want to stop sending our kids to die for them then maybe we’ll tolerate the closures.

  21. Munguin: Maybe progressive and unpopular are synonymous?

  22. The "erudite" joke was funny Niko.

    But you still better stick to the poxy day-job.

  23. I think he's writing for Les Dawson, Conan... shhhh don't tell him!

  24. Munguin,

    As all tru progressive movements tend to rock the status quo, and the norms within society, changing the boundaries and understood rationales by which people live their lives - of course progressive and unpopular and intwined. You however have just exposed the problem with your mindset, for you think to be progressive means you need to be popular -- isnt that what Blair thought munguin?

  25. p.s. I am not getting my moobs out for anyone, especially not Niko and his jibberish typing!