Saturday 20 November 2010


Charles Wales, Duke of Rothsay, Duke of Kernow, (and a dozen or so other trinkets) is a man who is used to getting his own way. He always has. Raised largely by nannies under the watchful eye of his Edwardian grandmother, a woman for whom, in many ways, the realities of post war Britain had never happened, Charles is reputed to be far more “royal” than the Queen, demanding all manner of correctness in his company. He prefers people to bow to him, long after most royals have given that up, and demands that everyone, even his friends, call him Sir.

When he was married to Diana he was equally 'Edwardian' in his attitude. From day 2 of his honeymoon he was talking sweet nothings with his mistress Mrs Parker-Bowles, as if he were old King Edward, obliged to marry Princess Alexandra of Denmark for the sake of the succession.

Well, we all know what happened to that marriage, possibly because unlike Alexandra, Diana was a woman of the late 20th century who didn’t expect to overhear her husband arranging trysts with his paramour on their honeymoon. Needless to say Charlie boy was not about to give up having his own way and Diana could like it or lump it. With the rest of the royals on Charlie’s side, what could she do?

When she died Charlie was able to openly resume his relationship with the now conveniently divorced Mrs Parker-Bowles, and eventually, with rather too much haste for some people’s taste after the death of his grandmother, who would never have approved of one marrying one’s mistress (and her without a title), Mrs Parker-Bowles became Duchess Parker–Bowles.

In marrying in a registry office Charles broke all the rules of the church that he may one day head, but it seems that the rules about marrying of divorcees with a spouse still alive (Mr P-B is up and doing) is only for unimportant little people, and God allows royals to make their own rules, because the Archbishop of Canterbury, although he could not conduct the wedding, did come along and bless it, which surely is exactly the same thing.... but different.

So, because Mrs Parker-Bowles, sorry Duchess Parker-Bowles, was not overly popular with “the people”, it was announced (I imagine on the advice of Tony Blair to his mother) that when Charles became king, or rather IF he became king, the duchess should be known as Princess Consort.

It’s no great secret that Charles was reluctant to agree to this, but in order to get his way, he did. Now in an interview for American television, he has dithered about whether or not she will be known as, and presumably crowned, as Queen Parker-Bowles, despite not REALLY being married to him under the rules of the church of which, by that time, he will be head.

Now, frankly I don’t give a flying whatsit whether she is Queen Camilla, or Duchess Camilla or whether he divorces her and marries Peter Mandelson (that would serve Voldermort right), but I thought it would be interesting to find out what other people think, hence the new poll, our first for a long time...

What do you think?

Pics: (1). Ha ha ha! You’re all paying for this, oh yes, and I’ll have another million a year for Dartmoor Prison. (2) Bow damn you, you stupid plants; don’t you know who I am? (3) Yes, we know our necklace is squint, but our maid has gone to get us another refill. What are we expected to do? (4) Yes, I know my barnet is a bit of a mess, but now that I’ve got old Big Ears to pay for it, I’ll just get it done again. Anyway, I have to rush. My next holiday is due. Corfu with my friends I think, with Charles (well you) paying. Wicked!!


  1. Tris, I think we've been getting softened up for this since Diana died IMO. She's a cow, he's a prick, Vive le revolution!

  2. Old Big Ears is truly dreadful. In a yougov poll recently they asked me if I wanted Charles to be king or the succession to pass straight to William. Being a good republican I said that I most certainly wanted Charles to be the next king as I think he will be the best thing for republicanism since Oliver Cromwell!

  3. Funnily enough George V refused to name a battleship the HMS Oliver Cromwell on the grounds that Ollie was anti-monarchist famous for beheading kings. You’ve got to laugh at these people and the airs they give themselves. The navy did eventually get its battleship named after Cromwell by a rather devious route, they tricked George VI in to allowing it to be launched as the HMS Cretan in 1945 and then changed its name to the HMS Cromwell in 1946, so the navy had the last laugh. Clearly the navy felt that the best thing to do with these stuck up people who after all have the final say in what name is given to any naval ship is simply to go around them and do it anyway, bit like Charles himself. But no other ships have been named after the great man since.

  4. Indeed DL...

    I always imagined that Charlie would want her to be queen, and once he is king he'll have a lot of sway.

    It is, I suppose, a matter for the Church, the governments of all the countries that share the monarchy, and Chic himself.

    I don't care, but it will annoy me to see the waste of money and time given over to the argument when it happens.

    As you say:

    Vive la Revolution...Vive L’Écosse Libre

    Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, Whisky!

  5. You don't really want Old Pimples back...

  6. Why would the ROYAL Navy want a ship called Cromwell...?

  7. The True Prince of Wales, Duke of Rothsay:

    And he shall succeed HRH King Francis II:

  8. I was hoping it would be my turn Dean. I could do with the money.

    I must be related to some damned royalty somewhere, don't you think?

  9. This evil old hag Queen? I doubt it unless Big Ears has a hissy and kills off the monarchy.

  10. Most families have an old queen in the closet Tris...

  11. I take it you don't like her OR?

    I imagine it's a fair possibility that Big Ears will do a big number and threaten us with abdication unless he gets his way.

  12. LOL @ Conan.

    I expect they do, the royal family appears to have quite a few!

  13. Dean as if after getting rid of one lot of useless no hopers we would whizz in another load of useless freeloaders! Your off in cloud cuckoo land I’m afraid. I really don’t think you are going to find any converts to the cause of good King Maria here, so please in this instance I don’t object at all to you using my blog as a free billboard for your pointless crusade. In fact thanks a lot a good belly laugh at his pointless site.

  14. Oh dear I seem to have made a few spelling mistakes there if I were in England Mr Gove would have marks off me for that! I suppose it will be three strikes and your out eh? They could bring in a spelling tax, I am amazed that Gideon and Gove have not gotten together to suggest that (or form a comedy double act)

  15. "Gotten" Munguin?

  16. If she becomes "a queen" will her coupon be on our stamps?

    Imagine having to lick that.

    Bring it on though, I think King big Chic and queen Camilla will kill the monarchy stone dead. We could finally be rid of the lot of them after a couple of years of these two.

  17. I can't get Noddy out of my head for some reason.

  18. What's Campax got stuck in her teeth in the top picture ? Not a royal 'short n curly' surely ?
    Would make a good caption contest.

  19. Munguins Republic finally becomes a reality blog and askS us to vote someone off.

    The next series will be called


  20. I had no idea that a ship had been named for Cromwell, even if it took a little duplicity in dealing with the royals to make it happen. Not surprising that the royals don’t like Cromwell of course. Charles II even had his body exhumed and posthumously beheaded for what he had done to daddy.

    The guy who interviewed Charles was Brian Williams, a big American news Pooh-Bah with one of the largest American networks, NBC. Williams had been told that he must avoid any mention of Charles becoming King someday. So naturally he brought up the “K word” straight away...and for that matter asked if Camilla would be Queen. Charles looked SO uncomfortable, but mumbled the only possible answers to both questions. No doubt he would like to have conveyed Brian to the Tower, but that would surely have annoyed the American government - and much more seriously, would have annoyed the National Broadcasting Company.

    I was amazed at how old-really elderly-he’s looking now. And the women in the family live a long time. I don’t wish him any personal misfortune, but it seems not to be out of the question that William may be the next King.

    Loved your descriptions of the pictures! Speaking of Queen Mary, I read that her love and display of jewelry would have put Queen Mother Elizabeth in the shade. Someone at a party is said to have whispered that Queen Mary should be told that you’re not required to wear ALL your jewelry at one time. And she had a lot of it. She would be so lavish in her praise of a friend’s piece that they would be shamed into making the Queen a gift of it, or a sale at a ridiculously low price, or failing that, she would sometimes just steal it. (At least that is the story as I understand it.) Being royal was way cool in the old days.

  21. PS: As for the poll about Camilla. Are Americans allowed to vote? And will the results have the force of British law? ;-)

    As for British law, I thought it was at first a done deal that all agreed that she would NOT become Queen, but then the Prime Minister announced that legal experts told him that British law "required" that she be Queen. But maybe I've got that wrong.

    If it's not actually a matter of law, seems to me that the Princess Consort thingy would work out OK. On the male side, it works with Philip of course, a Greek Prince who as consort to the Queen was created a Prince of the United well as Duke of Edinburgh. Better arrangement than the old days when (on one occasion) the wife of the reigning Queen actually became a King.

  22. I've been saying that for ages Dubs. He'll poke his royal nose into everything, he'll send for the Prime Minister to say he's not happy about this and that and the other. (He already pesters ministers with endless memos that HAVE to be dealt with because he is who he is, so they spend time on that instead of on running the country.) Actually that's no bad thing considering some of the crap they come up with.

    He's interefered with planning permissions because it would offend HIS eye to see something. He's never though of looking the other way.

    You're right, there will be un unholy row over the succession and her crown and then he'll be a pain about everything.

    He won't last more than 5 years.

  23. Straight to the point QM. Well said sir.

  24. You should see a doctor Cynical...

    It'll hurt after a while...

  25. God, you're sooooo coarse Monty.

    I was wondering...who do you think has the better knees?

  26. Good one Niko. That was your funniest crack for a long time...

    Next week.... Princess Beatrice... does she stay or does she go?

    What Tris did next.... hmmmm. Nah, you wouldn't want to know!

  27. Danny...

    Mate, they weren’t called the perfidious Albion for nothing...

    I should like Cromwell really, he and I both being republicans, but I couldn’t take to the fellow. Whether it was the boils and pustules, or whether it was because he was a dour faced killjoy sort of bloke, or a combination of the two, I’m not sure, but I just didn’t like him. The trouble with these dudes that want to make it to the top, is that even when they die they don’t want to give up power, so the Protector’s job went to his son... just like a King... which kinda defeats most of the object...

    I’m not sure why old Big Ears (sorry Cynical Highlander, that’s just brought Noddy back hasn’t it) didn’t just stay “stop the cameras. I’m not to be asked about that.” And have a wee hissy fit to himself. I saw a clip on the news and I’ve never heard anything so inarticulate in my life.

    He just kind of growls... What an idiot. You’d think he’d manage the Queen’s English, what him being her firstborn and all.

    He does look as old as Methuselah though Danny. You’re right there. I mean all that posh soft living doesn’t seem to have done much for him. He’s always been ugly, but now... pffffffffff. Clearly doesn’t moisturise!

    Are you getting Queen Mary and Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother mixed up? Queen Mary was the sour faced old woman who was the Queen’s grandmother. Her pictures make her look like there was a permanent bad smell under her nose.

  28. As for the poll, Danny, of course you can vote. I think you can safely say that any poll on Munguin’s Republic is unlikely to carry the full force of either Scots or English Law.

    But even if it did....?

    I think that the problem is that custom and practice say that the wife of the King is the Queen consort. It has even been thus, even when she was a bit of a one, like old Caroline who rolled her way round the continent being a little over chummy with some of the other royals, she still was Queen.

    So yes, most constitutional lawyers would agree that she must be Queen.

    The problem comes about because of the religious aspects (wouldn’t you know).

    The crowning is a religious ceremony done on behalf of God, by his left hand man... the Archbishop of Canterbury. Now the Archbish might have a problem crowning a woman who is really not married, in the eyes of the church, to the King. I mean she still has her first husband living. So if I were Mr P-B I’d not go through any tunnels in Paris late at night!

    I think she should just be the Queen of Tarts. I mean that’s what she was all these years, so why wouldn’t she been the Queen of them...

    The odd thing is now that she's got him, she seems to do her utmost to spend time away from him... Go figure.

  29. I've no interest in whether the prospective head of foreign church and his current wife get to call themselves King and Queen or not.

    It's like my interest in all the hand wringing over changes to the British Constitution in a unitary UK. The only change I want is to get rid of Britain and similar for the Royals.

  30. Tris,
    I must admit that I felt a little sorry for Charles, being called upon to publicly comment on the future death of his mother. His inarticulate mumbling to me indicated that he was somewhat dumbstruck. Not that he doesn’t do plenty of inarticulate mumbling at other times with far less justification.

    As for the love of jewelry, I was comparing the free spending ways of Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, wife of George VI, with the famously lavish love of jewelry of Queen Mary, wife of George V and grandmother of Elizabeth II. (Mary of Teck, the famously sour-faced old woman.) By all accounts her love of jewelry knew no bounds, and (it has been suggested) may have occasionally risen to the level of kleptomania.

    Here is a very interesting and juicy article on Queen Mary’s love of jewelry. Some of it may even be true....LOL.

  31. tris said...

    " God, you're sooooo coarse Monty.

    I was wondering...who do you think has the better knees? "

    Ha ha it would have to be Camilla. At least they're female. And posh totty knees at that.

    I tried the beer from roux ( Innis&Gunn - re - yesterdays blog about the noble Lord saying we had never had it so good). It was £1.75 from the Co Op for a 330ml bottle at 6.65% strengh.

    It was ok but nowhere near as good as guinness or even a trial ale at my local.

    So i don't think living as a Lord is actually much kop.

  32. Doug I'm with you.

    I only want my country back. i really don't give a damn, but it is a subject that encourages a lot of discussion...which is what I'm always looking for.

    Nothing worse than writing an article and only getting two comments.

    Royal stories always get a lot of comments, which makes me feel it was worth while writing. lol. I expect that's a bit vain....

  33. He he Danny... there's something I didn't know. That wasn't in the history books at school!!

    Cheers for the link!!

  34. Hum Monty, elderly posh totty that's been round the block... and...(vile thought) has known congress with big ears....

    Oh dear, I won't sleep now!!

    Hmmmm... maybe the beer tastes better when you pay over the odds for it.

    Anyway, don't worry to much about living like a Lord. It seems that unless you make massive donations to a political party, you are unlikely to be burdened with that particular problem.

  35. "You should see a doctor Cynical..."

    I did and got a prescription

    Noddy Cheers Up Big Ears

    feeling better already, g'night

  36. Hooray for Noddy.....

  37. Is that the handle of a dagger sticking out of his sock? Certainly looks like it. Do proper Scottish gentlemen still carry daggers?

  38. Geez Danny... have you ever walked around Dundee on a Saturday night.... it's really a tank you need, but a dagger (dirk) is cheaper.

    Actually, did you know that you should never replace a dirk, having drawn it, without drawing blood?


  39. Dubs, I meant to say she won't be on the stamps... it's worse, he will!

    Imagine licking THAT!

  40. Tris,

    I follow the same rule. Whenever I draw my dirk I always draw blood. Usually my own, since I'm actually pretty clumsy with a dirk. ;-)

  41. Well Danny that's what you have to do, if you draw it by mistake... A guy who does that a few time a week is going to end up in ribbons...

    You should be more careful with your dirk ;¬) indeed!