Thursday 4 November 2010


Oh Lord, it’s like spending half an hour in the remedial class.

The first 10 minutes were given over to Elmer’s weekly drubbing at the hands of the First Minister. Mr Fudd had decided that last week’s embarrassment over schools was not enough for him. No. More education embarrassment for our favourite cartoon character. When, he wondered, would Alex Salmond come up with a solution to the university funding issue. Of course he knows perfectly well what the timetable is. He knows that, when the consequential of England reducing its tertiary education funding comes about in 2012, the Scottish system will be ready. Once again, instead of seeing when he was beaten and moving on, he did his party piece of repeating the same question (laboriously) and getting beaten by the same stick over again. Listen carefully Elmer: The SNP has spent far more on education than Labour did; Labour in England, thanks to Lord Voldermort, was cutting the budget months before the Tories got in; And Labour’s great answer was? To have a review. Excellent!

Just one wee jarring note Elmer. If you are going to ask questions about further and higher education, a little more attention to correct grammar might be in order.

What a relief it was when the wee man sat down and we moved on.

But not for long. Usually Annabel Goldie asks sensible questions to which she gets sensible answers. Not so today. She chose to ask in a very very longwinded way about the ECHR ruling that some categories of prisoners should be able to vote whilst in the pokey. As this is matter of electoral law, and as such a reserved matter to England, it seemed a bit of a waste of time. Alex answered sensibly that it was a Tory government which had agreed to bring this into UK electoral law. Annabel went for him again, at least this time much more amusingly, attacking him for the policy of getting prisoners to serve sentences for less serious crimes in the community. This was odd, pointed out the First Minister, since it was exactly this SNP policy that had been adopted by the Lord Chancellor Ken Clarke, supported by his coalition partners, and recently commended by Ed Miliband. Ms Goldie it seemed was out of the loop.

It was a bit of a relief when she sat down too.

And so to Tavish. Always a joy.

This time it was ferry services to Dunoon, and the apparent lack of action from the government. Alex pointed out that there had been a large increase in the budget for ferries under the SNP, but suggested that the liberal Leader’s habit of asking for more money for everything might be a little less apposite now that his party was heavily involved in reducing the amount of money to be spent.

Well, unionists, if you insist on giving us pocket money to run the government of Scotland, dependent always on a consequential from London, you really can’t complain when we use it to beat you about the head.

In Supplementary Questions I was particularly stunned by David McLetchie’s question. Did the First Minister not understand that the reason that there was such a reduction in crime was that all the bad guys were locked up? I listened to this on radio, but I can just see the look on Mr Salmond’s face as he realized that he was going to have to explain the Ken Clarke, Nick Clegg, Ed Miliband connection one more time for the slow boy.

Pics: Super Eck, explaining it once again; Elmer, posing for Niko as the look of the future; the slow boy Mcletchie; Auntie Bella biting her lip and turning purple and Tavish, bless him, learning to fly.


  1. Aunty Bella if she were a sheep would be described as broken mouthed and sold of for slaughter, I was that shepherd.

    I did not think it was possible for Elmer Fudd to become more of a fud but he has managed it. Even the bin man was laughing at him.

    And finally what exactly is the point of Finnie, what was he babbling about.

  2. Evening Keyboard:

    Poor old Auntie Bella. You have to admit she tries hard, but....well.... er... yeah!

    I think we are finding just how thick and fuddy Elmer can be.

    As for Finnie, I give up, dunno, I was hoping you might have an inkling... No?

  3. Its not even funny anymore as if that is the quality of the unionist leaders no wonder that Scotland is in such a state. Do we pay them more than the basic wage as that far more than they are worth, dismal.

  4. Yep. It is dismal CH.

    I regret to say that they get paid quite a lot more than the average wage....

    ...and they are well below average performers.

    They should have annual performance reveiws and have the pay adjusted accordingly.

    Mr Gray says that if is elected First Minister he will take a 5% cut in pay...why will he not do that now?

    Because it's a gimmick maybe?

  5. The fact that you find the unionist leaders so weak, and our argument for the union so meak, that you will keep "saying it over and over" doesn't that reflect badly on the SNP?

    The leading seperatist group in Scottish politics has only managed to get 2% more than the Conservatives at the last Westminster; and 6 MPs...can't seem to find enough support among the general population to take a polling lead for Holyrood ... if he is as bad as you say [and Elmer fudd - he is], then doesn't that make the SNP even more laughable?

  6. Well Dean, wouldn't you rather have Alex Salmond than Elmer Whatsit?

    But, while you mention it, don't you think it is ridiculous that we got only 2% more votes than you did and we got 600% of the number of seats you did.

    There has to be something decidedly wrong about that?

  7. "The fact that you find the unionist leaders so weak, and our argument for the union so meak, that you will keep "saying it over and over" doesn't that reflect badly on the SNP?"

    I dont understand your reasoning to come to that weird conclusion but then I am unable to understand what use unionist politicians in Scotland are to the benefit of Scots in general.

  8. Cynical,

    My point is simple - if the unionists are as inept and meaningless as you claim, why is it that we represent the mainstream majority opinion supporting continued union? Why is it that you are unable to 'win' 'freedom'?

  9. Lies purpotrated by unionist politicians and the media where grown up debate is denied as they are frightened.

  10. Dean:

    The BBC hates us, the newspapers hate us, all manner of lies are told about us, the Labour Party Conference got 22 hours, we got three... Beginning to make sense?

  11. Ah, so its not that the public have had the intelligence to take in your messages and arguments and arrive at a sensible conclusion; majority rejecting.

    It is because we are all too easily frightened, or too silly to tell the difference between fact and political mudslinging?

    Yeh, right...

  12. Non political people never hear our arguments Dean. You have The Sun and The Times, The Telegraph and The Daily Mail. Labour has The Hootsman and The Herald not to mention the BBC and The Retard. Even the Liberals probably have the Guardian, (but I'm never quite certain).

    (Not really sure what the Express is all about. It seems to still be trying to pin Princess Diana's death on some bloke in Portugal, and wee Maddie McCann's disappearance to Prince Philip. The Star seems to want Jordan and Cheryl Cole for Joint Queen... or somthing.

    But we haven't got a paper or a station.

    So really, outside of the political anorack class who read blogs, all people ever see of us in the press is BAD news....

    Just look through the papers and you'll see. And ask any press officer how important it is to get people who are more concerned with rocket science, the preservation of the lesser spotted earth worm, the fortunes, or otherwise of Dundee FC ... or the size of Jordan's jugs for that matter, to see positive messages about a party on the occasions when they watch the news or pick up a newspaper......

  13. But Tris, there are independence supporting papers and political movements - SSP, Solidarity, Greens, and that paper idependence or whatever ... I just feel there is more to the SNP failure to impart its aims and asperations than a lack of favourable media coverage or friendly movements.

  14. Dean,

    Question time is a prime example of how the SNP are regarded by the media. When you see the likes of Kelvin Mckenzie and some other dick-head whose name I don't recall giving unfettered licence to spout nonsense about Scotland right across the UK and Dimbleby claiming that Sturgeon should not make reference to Scotland because "it's a UK wide audience" you must wonder regarding the BBC's impartiality.

  15. Dean, I started blogging because of the one-sided media bashing of the SNP and before that commenting on the Scotsman.

    The rebuttals that SNP commenters gave to slanted articles were entertaining and frequently hilarious, so I manfully girded my loins and joined in, a handful of Davids against the MSM Goliath.

    Were we successful? We got a minority SNP Government.
    Imagine what could have done if only one of the Red Tops had backed us...

  16. Brownlie, I forced my self to watch QT last night despite the dry boak it induced, even a glass of the amber nectar didn't help. But what was very significant was the spat right at the start, on the Liberals broken promises on Uni fees in ENGLAND. On and on it went for 20 minutes, at no time did Dimbleby caution or attempt to prevent the rammy to scold them on discussing a specifically English question, at no time did he wave his hands about in front of any ones face as he did with Nicola and tell them that this programme goes out to the whole of the UK not just Scotland or England. What a bloody disgrace. Double standards and hypocrisy the meat and veg of Unionism. The BBC are nothing more than Pravda was to the USSR, and we know what happened there.

  17. Dean

    Have you never heard the saying "propaganda works" If you repeat the lie, any lie, often and long enough it suddenly becomes the fact.

    An example is the health service employment statistics Tavish gave at last weeks FMQ. The statistics were then the medias report. The rebuttal from the Health Secretary was hidden in the letters page.

    On the media in general but particularly Pravda North to give the BBC a more appropriate title, I am beginning to think that a large part of the problem is the SNP themselves.

    Russell destroyed Brewer on Newnicht last week, but as I watched it I thought what a pity we are three years late in taking on the BBC.

    Its time we took the gloves off with Pravda and had all our ministers rebutting the propaganda as vigorously as Russell did.

    Until then if we continue to act like a doormat the BBC will continue to walk all over us.

    P.S. Is Scotland the only country in the world where the state broadcaster gets opinions on the country's parliament from a foreign correspondent, our tame unionist from The London Times?

  18. KBW:

    James Kelly has written some good stuff on this subject. I think now he has devoted 3 articles to it. Which is just as it should be. It really needs to be brought to people's attention.

    That Dimbleby can one week wave his hands,rebuke and cut off at our Deputy First minister like she's some naughty schoolgirl, when she's speaking in Glasgow, because she dared to talk about Scottish issues and not UK issues, and then happily allow people to bang on for 20 minutes about the English universities, is almost farcical (in its literal sense).

    I suppose Dimbleby wants a knighthood or a seat in the Lords, so he sticks to the script. It doesn't make him a very good journalist though. And that goes for his brother too.

  19. Aye Conan, your satire on the Hootsman served to ridicule, quite properly, the ridiculous bias of the newspaper that SHOULD be our journal of record. Lord help us. It's like reading a bad novel.

    I'm reading Lance Price's "Spin Doctor's Diary" at the moment. It's a fascinating piece about what went on behind the scenes in the earliest days of Blair's new labour government, and includes the time when the Scottish parliament was set up.

    It's well worth a read if only to 'hear' some of the lies this bloke admits to telling. Not to mention the vanities of Blair, even back then.

  20. Brownlie: Bang on. The London spin doctors spin on Scotland without knowing anything about the place, or what was going on. And how they hate the SNP.

    As for the Dimbleby thing... there should have been an official complaint about that. And they should be told that the government will not send along the Dept First minister to be treated like she was a junior member of the panel to be told off by Dim... and in her own country.

    They don't do QT from Scotland that often. The least they could do is use it to let their beloved English audience know what is going on in Scotland. It's part of teh UK too!!! It's not like we'd be ramming it down their throats every week.

  21. Dubbie... That's, I imagine, why politicians use these short catch phrases (we all do it SNP too) like "we're all in this together" over and over again. It's supposed to sink into the consciousness of the nation... it doesn't work for me but I, you're right. If you say it often enough people will subconsciously begin to accept it.

    The trouble is the coverage the SNP gets is so small that people don't hear it enough.

  22. Dean:

    "that paper independence or whatever" says it all doesn't it.

    SSP, Greens, Solidarity... when does any paper give any space to them except to report, tabloid style, on what the orange man has been up to in a sauna?

    I wouldn't say that the only problem is lack of coverage. I don't think that we go for the jugular enough. That's the kind of thing that attracts the attention of the press, most of which is tabloid in style.

    Maybe we should try to do a bit more sensational things, but frankly I'd settle for sound government.

    It's wrong that the BBC, for example, can't report on anything we do without putting a sneer in the tone of it. Jacquie Bird always looks like she's going to vomit when she says Alex Salmond's name, and that Wark woman is a Labour supporter and close friend of Jack McC, who makes a hobby out of being rude to Alex and nice to Whatsit.

  23. Tris, Allah Akbar! These Unionist fuckers are thick as mince. It's becoming an embarrassment to watch them sticking to preprepared questions and their apparent lack of being able to think on their feet.. Saor Alba!

  24. Salam DL...

    Improvisation is certinly not their thing is it?

    Saor Alba!