Friday 5 November 2010



It’s almost ... no not almost, it IS unbelievable.

Gary Hoffman (right), who was brought in by the government to run the Northern Rock Bank, is leaving to set up a new bank, and, although he leaves with immediate effect, he will have the next six months on “garden leave” at taxpayers’ expense.

The man is paid £83,000 A MONTH!

Not only that but he will continue to enjoy all the benefits of his job whilst sitting with his feet up waiting for May 1, when he starts his new job:

He will earn £350,000 in that time; additionally he will accrue £140,000 in pension contributions and he will continue to enjoy his company car and free fuel worth an estimated £6,000.

It’s all down to a clause in his contract, drawn up, you would have thought, at the very highest level, when he was appointed by the government (which own the bank on our behalf). So maybe the Noble Lord Myners (left), who was advising the then government on this matter, had a hand in it. After all it was he who agreed the termination contract of Fred the Shred. (When I say termination contract, I don’t of course mean.... well, you know that, Right?) But Fred went away a very happy man, you’ll recall, his pockets bulging with cash and a beaming smile on his greedy little coupon.

So what kind of contract exactly contains a clause that says: “If I leave of my own free will to go and do something that I want to do, I will be paid my full salary and my other benefits for 6 months”? One drawn up by a moron. That’s what kind of contract! So even if it wasn’t Myners, there are plenty of others to choose from on the last government’s financial benches.

And on the same day I hear that Mr Cameron has transferred his style consultant, presumably previously paid for by the Tory Party, to the Civil Service, thus saving the Tories an nice packet of money. "Brand Dave", it seems will continue to be overseen by Anna-Marren Ashford, but we’ll pay her to do it. And there’s more. She will be joined by Andy Parsons, Mr Cameron’s personal photographer, if you please. Personal photographer Dave....? Ewww get you sweetie!!

But it’s good to know that after just a few days of George Osborne’s new tighter financial controls we have saved enough money to put all of Team Dave’s personal flunkies on the state’s payroll.

How many useful people did we sack to afford that?

I don’t know what your game is Cameron, but it seems that you’ve forgotten that when we said that we were all in it together, that was supposed to mean you too. Why not? You've forgotten everything else you promised.


  1. "And on the same day I hear that Mr Cameron has transferred his style consultant, presumably previously paid for by the Tory Party, to the Civil Service"

    Oh get off your high horse! The Conservative led government has halved the expenditure which the last government had spent on PR gurus and gimmickry ... tell me, how is Salmond doing with his food bills claimed on the taxpayers dimes?

  2. Dean,

    I suspect that Cameron enjoys a hearty meal as well and, furthermore, that he pays for it himself. I think that all politicians should be lean and hungry like the much adored Jim Murphy just to prove that Shakespeare was spounting nonsense in Julius Caesar.

  3. We can always rely on Dean to defend the indefensible. That will be Alex’s claims for food while David was doing the same and getting his Wisteria cleared off his chimneys was it? The point is that was then in the old climate and this is now when we “are all in it together” so Dean you get over yourself and just admit that this is what it is, one rule for them and another for us!

  4. NB: spounting is a new word I've just invented. I haven't decided what it means yet.

    Tris: I suspect you've given Niko an opportunity to have a wee rant. Watch this space.

  5. Dean. Calm down old thing. You'll never get to sleep if you get all het up like that.

    His image maker... not spin doctor... shouldn't be a civil servant. I don't care if he doesn't spend a penny piece on the rest of the spin.

    Why on earth does he even HAVE a personal photographer. Even the Queen doesn't have that!

  6. I was wondering Munguin, if, as the deputy assistant editor of this fine organ called 'Munguin's Republic', I could have a personal photographer....?

  7. Ahhh Brownlie... if only we could go back to the good old days of the wonderfully slim, lean, hungry, athletic, intellectual colossus that is Jim Murphy. How we miss him and his razor sharp feel for international relations (particularly between Scotland and his beloved Dover House, which you will doubtless be amazed to learn, is not in Dover!)

    Now there's a man that never went anywhere near a style guru, as was plain for everyone to see... and as for a personal photographer, well I understand he wanted one, but none would risk the potential damage to their camera.

    As for inventing words old thing, I do it on a daily basis. The English language has far too few words for this man's liking.

    But I fear you take too much credit for "spounting", and I quote from the urban dictionary:

    "Spount is a mathematical term used to address the act of expressing each individual numerical digit in a given number. Paralleled to spelling a word, spounting breaks down a multiple numerical digit number into individual numbers.

    "Spount the number "56743". Spounting this number would be expressed in a "five-six-seven-four-three" manner, rather than "fifty six thousand seven hundred and forty three". That is how you Spount."

    I'm not entirely sure how it fits into your sentence though ... ;¬)

    I'm wondering where Niko is. He's maybe working on Whatit's campaign to become First Minister. Niko is much in demand as a style guru, I've heard. And why shouldn't Whatsit have a style guru? Lord knows he needs one.

  8. Tris, I suspect you couldn't afford my photographic skills unless iDave could sack a few more civil servants and put a few more of the great unwashed onto the cold streets this winter.

    Bullingdon boy,says it all.

  9. LOL Bugger. We'll see who we can sack!

    Be worth it to loose a few dozen of the lower orders just to get you.

  10. It isn't about my alleged defence of the indefencable at all Munguin. It is more about the hypocracy of the nationalists to criticise percieved excesses -- but only so long as it is a unionist excess.

    I am perfectly happy to realise that not everything the Conservative-led Coalition does is right all of the time. But honestly, this seems like your desperately trying to find a reason to dislike the mainstream majority who support this coalition.

  11. Dean,

    .. the mainstream majority who support this coalition? Oh, you mean the English and a few Scots. tee hee!


    The meaning of spounting? - that figures.

  12. Ouch Brownlie!


  13. Dean...

    Erm, who is it in Scotland that supports the coalition?

    The Liberals were on 7% in a recent Scottish subsection of a poll. They are only on 9-13% in teh UK!!

    And didn't the Tories come last in Scotland, with, I admit, a totally unrepresentative number of seats.

    I doubt you could call the sum of these two the "mainstream majority" by even the widest stretch of the imagination.

  14. Tris,

    British context - a British GE, a British analysis of the result. The mainstream majority of Brits support the coalition.

    Like it or lump it.

  15. Ok, fair commentDean. It just shows how different Scotland and England are, but I accept that this is a British thing.

    I'm not entirely certain, however, that the bulk of the British public, supportive of the Coalition or not, would be happy that they are paying for Mr Self Important's personal photographer and his image consultant... I mean... are you?

    I certainly wouldn't be happy to be paying for Eck's!

  16. Tris,

    I am about as happy about it, as I am happy about paying for big Salmonds food bills [during a parliamentary recess!]... bloody nonsense it is - they all think they can get away with it ... and do ... thats the problem ...

  17. Well Dean, I was angry about Salmond at the time, although he was not censured for it, and was not asked to pay money back. I still disapproved and was actually livid about it when it happened. To be honest I can’t even remember the details, or what the excuse or reason was, but I do remember being incandescent.

    And I said so on blogs... as, I will admit, you have done so when you have been angry with the Tories.

    I can't remember how much money Alex Salmond claimed for in parliamentary food allowance (an allowance which should never have been there in the first place. We all need to eat, whether we are in parliament or not, at home or not. We pay for a second home for them in London; it's not like they have to eat out in restaurants. Several pounds more than a pensioner has to live on for a week, they get to supplement their already generous salaries to fill their fat bellies!!! I understand it has been removed.)

    However, I’m wondering why on earth the Prime Minister needs a personal photographer and a style consultant, and I wonder how much they cost. I further wonder why I am helping to pay for them and how many other of the top people have personal hairdressers, make-up consultants and valet at my expense.

    It’s time the Telegraph got to another investigation methinks.

    Aye and before you say it Niko, I’m amazed that Salmond took half the resettlement money. I can only assume it was to pay redundancy money to his staff.

  18. But Dean we are in the New Politics era now aren't we? So why keep harking back to the old ones. Alex I understand claimed for food during the recess in 2005 (where you a tax payer then? Other than that old Tory favorite VAT).Thats once and in the middle of the old politics hegemony and that was all the Daily Torygrapgh could find on the hated Nationalist. So if thats all you'vr got to beat the SNP with Dean good luck, bit like trying to kill an elephant with a matchstick!

    They found plenty on your lot didn't they Dean and that prompted the New Politics era where our cash would not be shelled out needlessly. As far as I am concerned a style guru and a personal photographer are needless expenses to primp the PMs PR bubble and spin. Perhaps you could comment on that rather than try to divert attention by needless harking to a supposedly bygone era!

  19. I did comment, and condemned it - I suggest you read my postings more carefully. But the difference seems be be you excuse corruptionand abuse of taxpayers money if and when its a Nat doing the spending!

  20. Who does Dean?

    I condemn all theft of misuse of my money, our money.

  21. Not you Tris, trying to rattle ole Munguin! :D

  22. Well Dean seeing as you in actual fact did not comment or condem DC I don't see what you are talking about. So sorry but I'm not rattled at all. Sorry about that better get back to your Daily Torygraph get some more ideas!

  23. LOL LOL LOL rattle away Dean.... He'll crack one day... maybe.... or maybe not ;¬}