Back in March, you may recall (if you were paying attention, which I hope you were) I relayed to you (as part of my self-imposed public service remit) a stern warning from an American reverend gentleman of the Evangelical Church of Utter Nutjobs, a certain Harold Camping.
The “End of the World” was nigh, he informed us. We had less than two months to get ourselves sorted out and prepare for RAPTURE.
Well, I’m here to tell you (reminded by Danny, our man in America with his finger on the pulse of the Church of Utter Nutjob’s activities) that the nearly two months is up ...tomorrow. So I hope you’ve heeded the warning, repented your sins and left your affairs in good order, because those of you who have been good will, tomorrow, be raptured and taken up into Heaven, and the rest of us will be left here on Earth to face the consequences of our evil ways with earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, Nick Clegg and other natural, and unnatural, disasters.
Now the good Mr Camping neglected to intimate to me, exact details of the actual hour at which this will occur, so this may be the “last post” of mine that you will ever read... and if somebody has been very sloppy with the record keeping up there in Heaven, or indeed the “system is down”, and I myself am “raptured”, this may even be the last post that I shall ever write.
Failing that (and you'll remember that the good reverend has a rather dubious record on accuracy when it comes to predicting the world's end), I’ll see you all on Sunday.
Bonne fin de la semaine ou du monde, et bon rapture (maybe)!
The end is nigh? Oh well ... suppose this only matters to Christians then? The rest of the world can carry on regardless as they say. Wonder what difference the complete removal from earth of all devout Christians would have?
ReplyDelete:P
I'll get back to you on that Dean....
ReplyDelete7.00am allegedly so get up early otherwise you'll miss it and the regret will be yours for the rest of your life!
ReplyDelete7 am... on a Saturday... Sorry matey, it will have to happen without me. Still I missed the beginning of the world too...
ReplyDeleteTris
ReplyDeleteIf you have not already done it, check out The Gaurdian today.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/
There are at least five articles about Scottish independence. They range from the down right funny right up to totally Do Laly.
The unionist panic is going into overdrive. The britnits are all over the place. This is great to watch.
Thanks for the tips Dubs.
ReplyDeleteIt's suddenly the subject that everyone is talking, or blethering about, from the insane like Mental Micky (Forsythe) to the more sensible Nasar Meer.
Merci Tris. Je vais essayer de profiter de mon week-end, mais en effet je me sens le ravissement peut aussi me faire ainsi. Heureux de lire vos œuvres, et bien j'espère qu'ils envoient des dames méchant avec moi sinon il pourrait être un peu ennuyeux!
ReplyDeleteSo much to comment.....and so little time. Tris and Munguin, being free of the stain of sin and guilt, will doubtless be raptured to heaven tomorrow, and here I'll sit, with comments to make, and no blog on which to make them.
ReplyDeleteDean raises an excellent question. Will it in fact be better or worse here on earth after all the devout Christians are raptured away? We'll soon know I suppose.
And then there is the case of M. Strauss-Kahn, newly sprung from a New York jail, and imprisoned in his posh Manhattan apartment. He will surely be left behind in the rapture. But what about his guards? He may be free to get back to France. I'm pretty sure that France and most of the French will still be there.
And I'm so sorry about your situation in Scotland. You achieve a landmark majority SNP government just days before the end of the world. Now how ironic is that! Talk about a lost opportunity! But look on the bright side. Surely First Minister Salmond and his government will be raptured into heaven. Whether they can govern what remains of Scotland from there is an open question at this point of course. ;-)
Right, I'm off to finish the bottle of Tio Pepe I opened yesterday.
ReplyDeleteEt bien TLOTF. Ce n’est pas très souvent que on vous voit ici… mais c’est même plus agréable sur ces rares occasions.
ReplyDeleteProfites bien de ce week-end soit ici sur la terre, soit au paradis.
J’ai bien pensé du problème de l’ennuie. Il me semble que la solution est que nous arrangeons pour vous d’y accompagner l’estimable Subrosa ?
Ça vous convient bien, j’espère !!!
Ah... you think so Danny?
ReplyDeleteI have grave doubts about the likelihood of me making it up there with the good guys. But then I look at Mr Camping, and then at the Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury, and I think to myself... what the hell, I think I’ll just stay here. So, you can prepare a post for tomorrow with little worry that it will have nowhere to appear old mate.
As for the ex-future president of France. It doesn’t look too terribly good for him one way and another. Although the standard of cuisine will have improved... and to a Frenchman that cannot be overstated.
Of course I haven’t completely discounted that the present president might be clapping his hands with glee at this, and possibly thinking that the plan went well. On the other hand the fact that Mr S-K was about to sort out the Euro, which isn’t to everyone’s taste, had crossed my mind.
Old Dom is a man with a good number of potential enemies. It might even be worth looking at what kind of treatment the IMF and DSK in particular, has meted out to Guinea in the recent past.
However, I rather think you are right, and that he won’t be joining to “good”; he’s much more likely to stay here with the “great”.
As you rightly say, there will be a fair amount of France left for him to look after if the Lord makes a hideous mistake and takes Sarko unto himself! (I’m pretty sure though, that if he does, he will pretty rapidly return him. Even a saint couldn’t be putting up with Nicholas for too long.)
Oh own up Subrosa, that's just an excuse. You were gonna scoff that anyway!!
ReplyDeleteI would escort her with great honour !
ReplyDeleteWell, TLoTF it seems that we may have been spared, although I say that with a measure of trepidation as last night a tornado hit the area of Missouri where my friend and co-blogger, Danny, lives. So far the BBC reports that 31 are dead.
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard from Danny and he posted something yesterday evening, took it down and promised a repost, which has never arrived.
Everything that I can cross is crossed, although of course I’m sure that he is safe, his area for sure is in the most awful mess.
Well I also note another self proclaimed son of God has stated that 14/12/2012 is the next "end of the world". That will be based on the fact he is bloody mental.
ReplyDeleteAnyway I have family in Iowa so shout when you hear from Danny ?
LOTF:
ReplyDeleteI think Mr Camping himself says that he made an error in his calculations and it is October 23 that will now be the end of the world. I wonder if that's his last prediction or if in October we will be informed that he has made yet another error in his calculations. Maybe he should spend some of his vast wealth on an abacus?
I heard from Danny this morning. Although Joplin is flattened, Danny and his family are well, I am much relieved to hear.
I'm sure that it was relatively localized damage, so hopefully Iowa was not affected