Thursday, 16 September 2010


Well... it came and it went and it cost a fortune.... and of course the Duke of Edinburgh put his big clumping foot in it...

“Hello Ms Goldie. Are you wearing tartan knickers?” said old Phil, betraying a lack of something in his upbringing.

Displaying, in her turn, good humour and quick wit, Annabel replied: “I cannot possibly comment and even if I had, I could not possibly exhibit them.”

Smart old bird is our Annabel. She knows when not to display her undergarments. And I for one am not buying certain reports that she winked saucily at the Duke as she said it...

It's a thought though, that if any other man had said that to any other woman, he would have
had his collar felt, spent a night in the pokey out at Saughton, and got himself 5 years on the sex offenders’ register.

However the Duke had to make do with yet another headline proving that, even after all these years, when he is let off the bosses leash for a few seconds, he’s just a dirty old sailor at heart... and Ms Goldie is surely only grateful that he managed not to say it in front of the Pope.

Meanwhile another octogenarian linked "atheist extremism" throughout Europe to Nazism, which was rich coming from an ex Hitler Youth in the form of Pope Benedictus XVI. Remembering that, despite all the Masses he is conducting, this is a State visit, meani
ng that he is here as the King Pontiff of a small Mediterranean State and thus the visit should be about politics and not religion, that was not the most diplomatic of starts.

To be fair, the good Cardinal Kaspar managed to start it off badly before the poor old Pope had left Vatican City by likening England to a third world country. So, to parody the song, things could only get better.....

Well, this time they did. The Pope was fed haggis, neeps and tatties for lunch, Susan Boyle gave him a blast of her powerful pipes, and the sun shone for him....

Which was just as well as the poor man had to do all this with just his wee white skull cap.

Was it a case of “and then his hat blew off”?

No, I don’t think so. It seems that whist the Pope's motocade was heading down from the Palace, this wee wuman was spotted running hell for leather (if you'll pardon the phrase!) away from the procession clutching a red hat which matched perfectly her red shoes, gloves and bag, and shouting, “Efter a’ thay years.... it's’s mine... IT’S MINE..... as she disappeared down Mary King’s Close.....

No one we know, I suppose!?

Pics: Philip of Edinburgh; Annabel looking cross; His Holiness avec ... and sans said hat.


  1. You've got me on this one ...

    comic? depressing? scandal? Joke? How is one suppose to take Prince Philip's .. shall we call them ... interventions into public life?

    Best just ignore the old goat.

  2. I think the good old Juke does it on purpose, nobody could be that stupid. He seems to revel in having the ability to be able to say anything he likes no matter how non-PC. That I suppose is because he is in a uniquely privileged position of being the unelected consort to our unelected head of state. The fact of the matter is it is rude, boring and unbecoming, he makes himself a tired old laughing stock with his totally unfunny hackneyed commentary on life, he makes the monarchy as an institution even more of an outdated laughing stock than it already is (if that is possible with the antics of Chick and Princess Parker-Bowles, air miles Andy and we are just “ordinary” guys ya, William and Harry). Worst of all of course he makes the entire world think that we are nothing better than a bunch of ignorant racists who run off at the mouth with a vile verbiage of smut and innuendo. What a great advert for the UK our Royals really are!

  3. Dean: yea right enough better to just ignore the old fool after all there is precious little else we can do about it, him not being elected and all!

  4. Och he's comic now he's nearly 90 Dean.

    He used to be an embarrassment... but everyone expects him to be rude now. As I say, if any man went around asking women what colour thier undergarments were, he could be looking forward to a visit from Plod.

    No one takes him seriously.

  5. So... anyway Munguin, have you seen Sophia? Is she hiding out with you.

    I wonder if Prince Philip enquired about the colour of her petticoats....

  6. Sorry Tris, not looking for another anti-royal rant from everyones favourite republican? I'm sorry I don't thin any of these people are harmless old fuddy duddys, but what the hey, I'll go with the flow.

    No I aint seen Sophia round here. I wonder if she managed to ask the Pontiff what colour knickers he had on?

  7. Munguin "good old Juke" should that not be "good old Joke" Goldie should be grateful that that is all he let go!

  8. never let it be said that you didn't take every opportunity, Munguin, to rant!!

    Best check under the bed for Ms Pangloss. She'll be hiding somewhere, red hat in hand.

  9. I believe I read that on at least one occasion Her Majesty was heard to say "Oh Philip, do shut up."

    I love to see the Pope wearing his red cowboy hat. But I'm pleased that Sophia got it.

    And perhaps I'm wrong, but it seems that the taste of Haggis is...well er....controversial. Would it not be better to treat the Pope, and other international visitors, to a more universally admired, but surely no less Scottish food, the "McDonald's" hamburger?

  10. PS: From far across the sea, I like Annabel Goldie. She seems kind of cool...for an old Tory I mean.

    And "Knickers = Panties". Right?

  11. Danny Knickers=panties yes?, well yes but knickers tend to be the larger offering in the panty pantheon!

    Phil the Greek is a National treasure, its just a pity we Brits value shit so highly (oops there goes me knighthood)he should long ago have been gagged, but hey he's got a very rich missus and is apparently 'immune' to prosecution!

  12. Thanks Indyanhat. No prosecution for Phil I guess. In fact, I hear that the British legal system is traditionally considered sort of the Queen's own legal system. So this makes the royals pretty much above the law that governs everybody else.

    One does wonder though what would happen if Phil finally went too far, and the Queen went bonkers, and dispatched him with a sharp kitchen utensil. Not likely to happen of course, but an interesting legal hypothetical.

  13. Danny:

    I think that Sophia (where on earth is she) has more need of that hat than El Papa. I mean Edinburgh winters are cold and dreary compared to those in El Vaticano and the wind whistles round these old buildings something shockingly!!.

    I have to say that I too rather like Annabel Goldie. I've always admired the way that she dealt with the new (for us) political situation of minority government; the reasonable and quite intelligent way that she asked questions at FMQs and her sense of humour.

    I remember one occasion when I was actually in the Chamber and (you may not know this Danny) her first question to the FM is always...”When will the First Minister next meet with the Prime Minister?” or “When does the First Minister propose to meet with the Secretary of State?”

    Well, it went something like this (not exact words except for last line which I will never forget).

    Usually Mr Salmond says that he has no plans for meeting with whichever one she has chosen. However on this occasion it happened that he had met the SoS the day before and he informed her of this fact (despite the fact that she would already have known). She replied that she had not asked him that question, and would take it as a kindness f he would answer the questions he was asked rather than the ones he wished he had been asked. He replied that he would probably meet the SoS at some time in the next month in London and offered to take Ms Goldie with him. She replied (and I’m never forget it) in a slightly coquettish manner that there were “some offers a girl can refuse”.

    Some girl!!!

  14. There isn’t really a British legal system Danny, Scots and English laws being quite different, and even when a law will apply to all of the UK, there are two separate Acts of parliament, eg. “The Blah Blah Act 2008” and “The Blah Blah Act (Scotland) 2008”.

    Both legal systems are carried out, however, in the name of the crown...or the owner thereof. So in fact the Queen, whilst not being above the law, IS the law and cannot be prosecuted. Cases are announced as The Crown v John Brown. You couldn’t have “The Crown v. HM Queen Elizabeth”.

    That said, the law does apply to other members of the royal family as Princess Anne has found out to her cost. She has been prosecuted for speeding and for not keeping a dog under control.

    If I remember rightly prince Eddy recently came close to being prosecuted for something to do with cruelty to a dog. He got away with it, but personally I think 10 years in prison would have been appropriate.

    So, if the Queen were to apply a sharp object to Phil’s jugular and press hard (it would be a letter opener though, or a ceremonial dagger; the Queen wouldn’t know a kitchen, never mind a kitchen implement if it fell out of her crown onto her desk), she would get away scot free.

    On the other hand if Phil did for her.... or Charlie, or Mrs Parker Bowles, it would be curtains!

    (Well maybe they would just overlook Mrs Parker Bowles!)

  15. Tris...

    Lovely story about Ms. Goldie!

    And I do take your point about Her Majesty not having a clue about kitchen implements. And maybe Mrs. Parker-Bowles should tread lightly around some of the royals.....LOL.

  16. Yes Danny. There are certain things I'd avoid if i were her.

  17. Ah'm here!! Ye kent it widnae be lang afore ah poped up again!

    Aye awright, ah'm sorry fer that yin, it wis inexcusable, ah'm jist that happy tae hae me hat back! It's no been aff me heid since ah managed tae wrestle it aff the wee german in the ice-cram van. It's taken me sae lang tae get here cos ah took a wrang turn doon Mary King's Close an endit up lost in the catacombs.

    Jist as weel ah'd snagged ma jumper oan a nail oan the road in, or else ah wid still be in there. Ah had tae wait till ah had cover o darkness tae get hame, fer ah wisnae wearin a bra under ma jumper!

    Onyroads, ah got the hat back tris, so ah'm a happy wumman th'nicht. It'll be great gaun oot tae dae ma messages th'morn wi the shoes an bag tae match. Noo whaur did ah put them...

  18. Aye Sophia, there was you, just going up to get a slider. I can imagine your surprise when you got there seeing this little fella sitting there all in white (as a good Italian [well nearly] ice cream salesman should be), with your hat on his head.

    Despite all the dangers I'm not surprised to hear that you swiped it and ran.

    I’d have done the same.

    You musta looked a picture this morning.....

    Just as well you never came across Old Philip making inquiries about underwear down in the catacombs. That would have put the lid on it!

  19. PS.. they're there, on top of the wardrobe, behind that picture of His Holiness....

  20. It’s a bit of an insult for those of us who are not of a religious persuasion to be branded as Nazis by an ex member of the Hitler youth. I’m assuming he is referring to people like Richard Dawkins and Peter Tatchell who court publicity by outrageous acts and statements. But why shouldn’t they? The Pope is doing so by his state visit presumably hoping to gain converts to his own faith, people need to be reminded that there is another way and we don’t have a leader of the worlds atheists do we, nor do we have a atheistic nation state based on that alone. There are other proponents of atheism who are better thought of people like Steven Hawking, are we to imply that the Pope thinks he is teaching Nazism at Cambridge?

  21. Thanks tris, so they are. Noo ah can get masel aw dolled up an parade in front o the pope the next time he comes, which by ma reckonin should be 2040...

    An aye Munguin, ah wid agree wi ye that 2040's far too soon tae see sic an autocratic an morally dubious visitor tae the country. Can ye imagine any ither leader bein invitit oan a State Visit when they've only been electit by a wee group o men in a lockit room, when the election is only open tae men wha themselves were only appointit by the last man tae sit oan the throne, where they deny human rights tae sae many o their citizens, an then travel the world tellin ither fowk how evil they are?

  22. Poor Sophia - I'll bet she was mortified when, not having worn her glasses, she realised she'd purloined Annabelle's knickers - which she had handed to the Pontiff for safe-keeping and, in anticipation - instead of her red hat. Thank goodness she was not looking for a busby.

  23. Munguin and Sophia:

    I think you got it about right there.

    I’d be the last person to deny people their religion. For many it is a mainstay in their lives. Faith must be a fantastic thing to have and, in a way, I envy that.

    What I have found objectionable is that:

    This visit was hurriedly arranged to give electoral advantage to Labour in general, to Labour in Scotland and to Jim Murphy in particular;

    A state visit is financed by the inviting country because it has, AS A COUNTRY (not a political party), something to gain from the relationship with the invited country. I fail to see how trade can be improved here, or the balance of world power change. If we invite the President of France, the Grand Duke of Luxembourg or the King of Norway, we would expect there to be an improvement in relations with that country. That is why we give them all the tra la las at a vast cost. I wonder what is the quid pro quo for this expense. When, tell me, did we invite the Price of Liechtenstein, or of Monaco to a full State visit? Never. There is no pecuniary advantage in doing so. Then, why the King of the Vatican?

    Your point Sophia is well made... about this man, who as a head of state, is elected by a small bunch of men from a small bunch of men; there is ageism (for the electors over 80 are excluded) and there is sexism.

    I know that he is a leader of a worldwide faith. I know that, as such he has huge influence over vast numbers of people although to be fair that is dwindling as the church stays in the dark mists of time and the world moves on. I know that his visit here will bring comfort to many people. I saw some of them on the tv. But he’s not here in that capacity. If he were it wouldn’t have cost so much money.

    And yes, at a time when poor people are being left in suspense about whether or not there will be enough money for electricity, enough for food and to replace the winter coat, etc., that matters.

    The man should, quite rightly, have been made welcome in Scotland, on a pastoral visit. That is what his job is as it affects us. I wonder if a visit by Кирилл, Патриарх Московский и всея Руси (Patriarch Kirill I) would be attract so much attention... and money. (BTW Sophia, this bloke has one superb hat, which maybe at sometime belonged to you.

  24. Ah John... I wondered what el Papa was wearing round his shoulders on his way through Edinburgh. That must have been why Annabel wasn't too keen on showing them to Edinburgh's own Duke!....

  25. Here tris! Ah yince had a hat like that (weel, mair o a heidsquare than a hat) Ah wondered whaur it had got tae. Thanks fer the heids-up..!

  26. Sophia:

    Any time you loose a hat, just let me know. I seem to be good at finding them for you, usually, it seems, on the heads of religious leaders.

    If I have time I'll have a wee rake through the Archbishop of Canterbury's wardrobe. You never know what I'll find!!

  27. But ah've got a guid idea. Lots o frocks...

  28. LOL... you've been looking......