Wednesday, 26 May 2010


Conservative finance and public service reform spokesman at Holyrood, Derek Brownlee, has claimed that we are all in this mess together and that Scotland and the Scots should get behind the Tory cuts.

He went on to criticise John Swinney and the SNP for daring to defer the cuts till next year despite that being an election pledge of one George Osborne now Chancellor of the Exchequer.

I’m sorry but I am now going to quote Mr Brownlee at length. I ask you to bear with me and don’t switch off:

“Labour left the country’s economy in a mess, it is time to sort out that mess. We are all in this together and we have a role to play, that includes the Scottish Government. The UK Government has managed to come up with efficiencies worth more than £6 billion. The Scottish Government has been asked to make savings worth £332 million, that is 1p in every pound it spends. If the UK Government can make savings the Scottish Government needs to do the same or explain why it can’t. Delaying the inevitable will only put more pressure on the economy and front-line services in the future. In the spirit of the new mutual respect agenda, the Conservatives offered the Scottish Government much greater flexibility with its budget and that is now a reality. Alex Salmond needs to take that responsibility seriously and either make savings this year or explain why the Scottish Government is unable to do so. The SNP Government cannot make the same mistakes Labour made. Gordon Brown refused to make savings ahead of the UK election for political reasons, effectively mortgaging the country’s future to save Labour at the ballot box.”

How preachy is that? And all that from a party in disarray north of the border and one that seems to be seriously considering breaking its links with the English Tories. Why not get your own house in order before the sermon?

I think we were told to make savings Mr Brownlee, not asked. That's the respect agenda for you! They pretended that we would escape cuts this year. But after their aspirations for 12 MPs came to nothing, we were told that there would be twice as many next year. R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

I love the way that anytime the UK is in a pickle the powers that be invoke the Dunkirk spirit and expect us all to pull together to fix their mess. I say get stuffed!

I think it's reasonable to question if we ARE indeed all in this together. We are, I suppose, all forced to be in it but when the good times were flowing, just how much of the fabulous money was coming OUR way?

Yes, Labour established a minimum wage, at, if I recall right, £3.60 an hour... hardly a fortune, but in the never ending boom that Brown assured us he had secured, the link between the average wage and retirement pensions, for example, was never re-established. It seemed that despite unlimited British wealth the old and the poor were not to enjoy any of the success of the booming British economy under Labour.

No, for sure we weren’t all in it together back then.

This crisis is the result of the ludicrous policies of an English Government pandering to the fat cats in the city of London and the need to bail them out when they became too greedy and too stupid. They all floated the UK economy on an ocean of bad credit and debt and blew a housing bubble of gargantuan proportions till the whole thing collapsed.

And before people say that it was Scottish banks that were the worst offenders let me knock that on the head. The two Scottish banks in question would be HBOS and the Royal Bank of Scotland. The former is Halifax Bank of Scotland and as far as I am aware Halifax is not in Scotland and the latter included the National Westminster as its larger partner, which is also not Scottish.

When are people like Mr Brownlee going to stop opposing the SNP Government because it is the Government, and start working to help address the problem?

If Mr B is so hell fire keen on the Dunkirk spirit and pulling together, then why does he not start with himself and his party? We don’t want fine preachy speeches, nor do we want a faux respect agenda and political gimmickry... and those things pretty much sum up Mr Brownlee’s fine words. What we do want, if WE are all to pull together, is that our parliamentarians set a good example by being a little less bitchy, and a little more constructive in THEIR pulling together. Let's have a bit more cooperation and not drag Holyrood down to the sort of beer garden politics that we have in the Westminster chamber

Oh, and by the way, I think a look at the books will show that Mr Swinney has already made very substantial cuts, so what’s the fuss about? Please respect our elected government by not attempting to blame it for your cuts.



  1. I agreee with much of this Tris. Over on my place I called Brownlees intervention frankly foolish.

    Not least because;

    1. Scotland isnt ready for major cuts, our unemployment rate is still rising
    2. He is attacking his own chancellor [Osborne], who agrees with Salmond that all cuts must be postponed for a year to enable Scotland to recover.

    Brownlee is positioning for the leadership, Goldie won't survive the 2011 Holyrood massacre awaiting us.

  2. Dean God help you if you have that proselytising moron as your leader after 2011. It seems you party are incapable of not stabbing each other in the back. But what does Brownlees want to be leader of? The Tories have no hope of ever providing a first minister and that explains the hoped for exodus of your MSPs to Westminster where they might have had a career. Such a shame the electorate spoiled that particular party for them.

  3. As Cochrane said in his column: "Whoever designed the Scottish Conservative & Unionist Party was either a sadist or a moron".

  4. Rule Britannia, Marmalade and Jam
    5 Chinese Crackers up your aRZole
    Bang, bang, bang, bang ffut

  5. Brownlees are not meant to be leaders. They are serfs who owe their very name and their existence to the benevolence and randiness of the clan chiefs - the Brownlies.

  6. Munguin
    Derek Brownlee parroting Camerons and osbornes mantra
    'We are all in this together'

    is quite right indeed 'We are all in this together' but some such as the Con-Dem Cabal and their supporters are not going to share the same privations or hardship.

    'We are all in this together'

    Does not mean we will all come out together far from it some mainly from the Con-Dem Cabal will prosper and grow rich and fat(as ever)

    'We are all in this together'

    definitely does not mean equality(the Torys despise that word) in loss of income as the NI
    tax plans reveal the poor thin employee will still pay his BUT the fat capitalist employer
    will not courtesy of the ToFFs cabal.

    'We are all in this together'

    But as sail through the stormy sea of Austerity
    all abroad the Good ship HMS Great Britain..
    Those such Osborne,Cameron,Clegg will be firmly ensconced in the first class section and have the finest in luxurious living..

    Whilst the rest of us in third class and steerage will dine on their left overs,
    and when/if we Emerge from the

    'We are all in this together'

    Together Those such Osborne,Cameron,Clegg and their now much richer and fatter supporters will be in a fine kettle whilst the rest of us will be like the living dead.

  7. Hum Bugger thought about applying to be the Poet Laureate?

  8. I had an idea that that might be the case Brownlie... but I'm glad you've explained it.

  9. Actually Niko... you're not far wrong there.

  10. I don't think it was really designed Dean, it more kinda, fell together by accident really....

  11. Ah, even although Brownlie gives an excellent explanation of the clans, mini-Swinney is definitely positioning himself for the tory leadership here as Dean says.

    He's well respected within the Parliament I understand and I too think he's a smart lad.

    Actually, I think he'd do well as tory leader but he won't revive the party. It's dead.

  12. lol, fell together or was put together by one Mr Heath and his merger idea.

    .. not that I want to criticise a personal hero of mine!

  13. [so Mr Whatever, you may well be right about the Englishman thing ;)]

  14. Aye SR... Brownlie knows a thing or two about randiness, if not about clans.

    I've still never really seen him in action, so I can't judge, but he certainly looked a bit stupid when he appeared not to know that his lord and master had already discussed this with people well above his pay grade, and really it looked like no one had bothered mentioning it to him.

    But as Cameron uses wee Forsythe as his Scottish contact and by-passes Ms Goldie and the erstwhile Socttish spokesman, I doubt if he's ever heard of Brownlee....

    On the other hand I'm sure he knows Brownlie well.

  15. Och never mind Dean matey... they all have flaws... they all let us down in the end.

  16. For Cameron. his Eton'n Oxford set and his tartan lackeys


    All together now

    Now we've all been sent down from Eton,
    For shagging the Schoolmasters Arse,
    We're just a shower of Brown Hatters,
    And you're top of the class.

    And we'll all pull together,
    Our bollocks between our knees,
    Yes we'll all pull together,
    And do as we jolly well please.

    Now Nelly went down to pass water,
    Down by the banks of the stream,
    She was there for an hour and a quarter,
    And you couldn't see Nelly for steam.

    Now what would you like said the waiter,
    Calmly picking his nose,
    Three boiled eggs you bastard,
    You can't get your fingers in those.

    I next took a ride in a chuff chuff,
    That was so crowded that I had to stand,
    A little boy offered his seat,
    So I felt it up with my hand.

    I used to sing this when I was a lad and a ember of the Clydesdale Rowing Club, an me a hooligan frae Maryhill tae!

    When I went to Uni to study for a biological thingy degree, we had this version or at least this ditty to the tune of the Eton Boating song

    "What shall you have?" said the waiter, calmly picking his nose
    "Two boiled eggs you bastard you can't get your fingers in those!"

    The sexual urge of the camel is stronger than anyone thinks
    One night, in a moment of passion, it attempted to bugger the Sphinx.
    But the Sphinx's posterior orifice is lined with the sands of the Nile, Which accounts for the hump on the camel and the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.

    Learned research at Cambridge by Darwin, Huxley and Hall
    Have proved that only the hedgehog can never be buggered at all;
    And further researches at Oxford have incontrovertibly shown
    That comparative safety in Britannia is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone.

    Beers all round in the beerbar boys!

  17. Why do I think that the photograph of ALAN Cameron, surely a close relation to i-Dave


    looks like Niko?

  18. tris,

    I think you should make it clear that when you say "I've never seen him in action" you mean the other Brownlee and not me.

  19. bugger,

    when I played rugby we had a version of the "On the First day of Chrismas" which I'm not going to print in case subrosa and tris's mum are reading this.

  20. tris,

    I was very complimentary about you, Conan and Niko on my blog!

  21. bugger, I've mis-spelt Christmas, why can't we have a Gaelic blog!!

  22. LOL @ Bugger....

    Singing songs like that really is an upper class pastime.

    Are you sure you didn’t go to Fettes?

  23. No but my husband did.

  24. Right Brownlie. I'd like to make it very clear that I've never seen either of you in action. Still there's always time......................

    If you've been singing songs about the ‘First Day of Christmas’ with mucky words, I think it may be that you were at Fettes too.

    None of us could carry a tune in a bucket, so we just slurred Ohway ohway ohway ohway ohway...... etc. Nice and easy to learn the lyrics too! (Well, all except me, but I kept my talent for singing with Pet.) However, I'm sure my mum, being your biggest fan, wouldn't want to stifle your creativity ;¬)

    I must nip across to your place and see what a compliment looks like.... LOL. That should be exciting.... but you lump me in with Conan and Niko... so I'm not getting my hopes up.

    As for a Gaelic blog.. well, you've no idea how much I wish I could do that. It's a matter of shame to me that I've never taken the time out to learn Scotland's other language. I really wish I had.

    Feel free to post in Gaelic anytime matey. Maybe you could do a version of the Chris T mas (LOL) song in Gaelic. My mum only has a few words and I've no evidence to suspect that Subrosa is fluent.

  25. LOL @ Bugger....

    I knew there was some connection!

  26. Gaelic? Now that ought be an interesting blog post Tris.. I'd be interested on hearing your thoughts on the language, its future and taxpayers subsidy?

  27. Bugger

    you must understand..........when i say a look just like Bob Hoskins( a younger one) that is because i do as many many people have said many times

  28. Would that be before or after his encounter with the American Mafia?

  29. Bugger

    More like this

  30. tris,

    I actually went to the same school as Iain Gray!!


    Yeah! it was approved...........

    heard you was Iain Grays fag and that you had to warm his toilet seat for him and he told you that you didn't have to lick the seat as well.......But you said you wanted to and you used to sing the national anthem (all verses)while 'OUR' Iain had a dump! Sploosh! and then when he had finished while Iain bent over you very delicately wiped his Lilly white bottom.......with your tie

    But then you cant believe everything Tris says

  32. Well Dean:

    Love the language; it's a part of our culture and history, and spread as far as around us here in the east. Blairgowrie has Gaelic street names.

    It was beaten out of kids in the west and on teh islands. Kids whose parents only spoke Gaelic with enough English to understand simple things; kids who went to the school with only a few words of English were beaten if they spoke Gaelic within the school precincts...even if they fell in the playground and were crying for their mammies.... Read Donny Macleod on the subject.

    Yes, I think it should be re-established and we should subsidise it, as long as there is an interest in it.

    No forcing people into using it or learning it. No enforced learning outside the area in which it is native, but for those whose native language it is historically, it must be recognised.

    I don't think we should be throwing masses of money at it, but we should subsidise it. Our governments stamped it out... our governments should help reestablish it.

    Just an opinion....

  33. Niko.... I'm speechless. I told you that in confidence...

  34. Brownlie

    I assume years after Iain Gray?

  35. Tris,

    Indeedy, and of course, Niko, the Fat Owl of the Remove, naturally assumes that it was at the same time. If it had been earlier I'd have been in the position to cane him - deep joy on discovering my previously hidden sadism.

  36. Ew er Brownlie.... kinky!

  37. My sadism is highly selective!!

  38. Best keeping it that way Brownlie.... I always think it's a bit common to be sadistic with just anyone!