Friday, 28 May 2010


Good Lord... or to be more accurate Lords.

So, we are in the middle of a fearsome tightening of belts. Unemployment is high and growing, staff of every civil service department is to be cut (and whilst that’s not bad thing, we can all expect to be kept waiting longer on the phone while we are told how important our call is) and what is happening in Westminster?

Oh yeah, they are starting their own job creation scheme. They are in fact giving people jobs for life.

The outgoing prime minister is by tradition entitled to ennoble people; to send them to join the aristocracy, wear ermine, call themselves “Lord” (or Baron) something or other, their wives become “Lady” something or other and their children are entitled, for some unknown reason, to the style “The Hon” before their names.

After the fuss about money for peerages Tony Blair forewent his entitlement in that matter, but the worst prime minister in history has decided to make even more of a fool of himself by naming a list of second rate disasters and third rate fools to be appointed to the so called upper house.

Not surprisingly SIR Blair the Labour Plod, sacked quite rightly by Boris Johnson, is to go to the house of doddering old fools, where I dare say, he will be at home. The idiot Dez Browne, the man that was Scottish Secretary at the weekends, he told us, while, during the week, he ran two wars, or rather didn’t run them, failing troops by not fighting for more money for them. The patronizing old fool. John Celtic Reid is also going to the Lords, along with Two Jags, Tudor Beams, Toilet Seat Prescott. The bloody old hypocrite. What kind of Old Labour man wants to be in a house of toffs? Mrs Prescott presumably. John Hutton, another fraud of a man and failur
e as a War Minister, will be going upstairs to bed too. The full list can be seen here.

In total there are to be a further 16 Tories, 9 Liberals, and an amazing 29 Labour peers created, not to mention P C Plod and Ian Paisley, who only became human in the last year or two of his political life, and is closely associated with the odious pair that run Northern Ireland, when not sleeping with their friends’ sons.

So, all in all 56 new troughers! Best buy some new troughs and some more pig swill.

But, there’s more. We are informed that under the new coalition there is to be a balancing of the Upper House, needed because of the enormous number of Labour peers created in the last few years... you know, people like Alan Sugar, who just happened to double his contribution to Labour Party funds that year.... well, well.

And according to the
Times, because none of them can be got rid of.... (£300+ a day for life, and no one is messing with THEIR expenses), they will simply have to create even more Liberal and Tory Peers. The Times reckons that will mean a further 77 Tories and 95 Liberals. So another 172 on top of the 56 just appointed, and the current membership, will bring the compliment up to just over 900.

Now that is what I call the right way to show an example to us lesser people. You do with less and we’ll nip off to the House of Lords where you can call us Your Lordship.

Well, when Gorbals Mick went there the place lost its last shred of credibility.....
and what else would we do with the money?

What a bloody country.

Pictured: The Lords: Mr Blair who made such a mess of running England's main police force: The last deputy prime minister and chief pie eater, John Prescott.


  1. That list pure takes yer breath away doesn't it tris? Surely Cameron cannae let it go past, tae blazes wi' tradition. If he's really committed tae reform, if he's serious aboot bringin' 'balance' tae this Parliament, an' that wid involve makin' even mair Tory an' Liberal peers, then he has tae say Naw!

    Ah guess we'll find oot how serious he is then.

    It's quite the Lavender List tho, eh? Plenty o' Paymasters there, an' the odd giftie tae auld attack dugs. Helen'll be happy. She's been dyin' tae get a new furcoat fer years but couldnae staun' the spray-paintin'!

    Listenin' the telly slaverin' ower Prescott an' Saint Floella o' Camberwick Green, ye wid think the past year wis a mirage. Oh they love their fancy-dress in London. It aw sells papers. "Chuck me a loaf Nelly, ah'm oaf tae the shows"

    Here, can ah plug ma story?

    Ah'll no dae it again, honest x

  2. For starter Sophia sweetheart, you can plug all you want on here.

    Indeed somewhere over <====== there I'm already plugging it.

    And I'm off to read it as soon as I type this.

    I can't believe the list. I'm really angry about it. We've got to tighten our belts and there's jobs for life for 900+... then they want to elect more for 15 years...

    Soon half the country will be in the Lords. That will be real democracy, but the building won't be big enough. We'll have to get Eastern Europeans in to do the work becasue we will all be sleepping on the red benches at £300 a day.

    Am I angry? Just a bit.

    When they promised House of Lords reform I never imagined it would be to make it so big you could see it from the bloody moon!

  3. Lard Prescott of Pies and chunky Secretaries.May 29, 2010 12:27 am

    And I see that Mr Laws, the man selected to save the nations finances from armageddon, has been paying his gay lover £40,000 in rent from taxpayers money. He forgot to mention his landlord was actually his gay lover. These things are easily forgotten of course. Mind you he was sleeping with his boyfriend for 8 years so he should have noticed he wasn't sleeping in the spare room. LibDemthingies. Say no more.

  4. Yes, I just read that.

    £40,000 stolen. He has to go tonight. There is simply no way he can stay. Usually it takes a little longer than 3 weeks for the government to start to fall apart, but anything is possible in the UK.

    You, however, seem to have more of an issue with his sexuality than his theft, having mentioned it on a 3:1 ratio.

    I thought we were in the 21st century. It's stealing money that's illegal.

  5. tris
    3:1 ratio ? Are you uncomfortable talking about peoples sexuality ? Two in my family are gay so I suppose I'm more used to talking about it.
    I was annoyed that he was using the gay angle to hide his crimes. He assumed that people would see it as a regular landlord / lodger type set up whereas if he had been living with a woman it would have been harder to keep the cover up going for 8 years. That's why I mentioned the gay lover bit.

  6. Fair does. I apologise if I was short over it.

    I'm perfectly confortable with sex, sexuality, religion, class, disabilities, colour of hair or preferred music. They are all interesting in their own way but no more important than what is happening on Emmerdale Farm, and I haven't known that for 20 years (although I love the music).

    Parliamentarians have all manner of ways to steal from us and we never notice, because we don't follow them bacvk home at nights. We used to trust them, because they were gentlemen (or the female equivalent). So we didn't ask them for reciepts or proof of anything, including where they lived or with whom.

    You know, Lord Paul has a suite in an hotel some place as his designated home, but actually he doesn't live there and someone else does... (but he could chuck the guy out any time he wanted to stay, he just NEVER has) ... and Baroness Udders has a house which she's never been to, doesn't furnish and her husband didn't know anything about... No one noticed any of that until recently.. or indeed the Viscount who put down his wife's friend's house, to which he had never been, as his main abode, because "one has to live".

    Laws must have been mad after last year's debacle not to realise that we'd find out. And what happened to the Telegraph there....?

  7. Quite tris, bang bang goes the Telegraph. When did they first have this knowledge, an' can we still trust them tae be disseminatin' information in the public interest? Look at the timin'. Just efter Mr Laws' rise tae near-sainthood? Whit else are they sittin' on?

  8. tris
    No probs.
    I'm surprised that Laws kept the thing secret though. I thought it was no longer a problem to be a gay MP ? He didn't seem to need the money as the article said he was ' privately wealthy'. Just greed I suppose. His lover made £170K on the sale of the house that we financed. Doubt if we'll get that back !
    I visited Sophies blog. What's a homosexualist ? ! : )

  9. Sophia: I've no idea...Sophia... but if I was in government and I had a guilty secret that I thought I had escaped, then I'd be worried. Very worried.

    Like you I wonder who's next...

  10. Thanks fer visitin' Mr Prescott, ah suppose ah should answer yer question. It's somebody that's celebratit the gay liberation agenda as much fer its liberatin' effect oan oor society as fer its personal liberation. Ah'm gled that we're takin' a mair enlightened approach tae oor ain self-worth as well as allowin' diversity o' life choices.

    Fer aw oor bairns. That wid be a better society.

    Ah ken, ah shouldnae rise tae it.

  11. Well, Prescott your nobleness...

    The millions that have been stolen .... just incredible. I think that he should be made to pay back the money, but then I think that Smith should have been made to pay back the money... and begging your grace's pardon, the bloody Tudor beams were a greed too far were they not? So stump the hell up!

    They really are all a crock of crap. This was supposed to be a different parliament, but it's the same muck in a different bucket.

    Time for us to leave the UK.

  12. ...Well you asked, your most gracious Lordness.... and she told ya!

  13. To be fair tris I only accepted my peerage to keep her indoors happy. I'd close the place down in a flash if I had the chance. Bloody ermine vermine ! Once I'm dead though. Can't afford to miss me attendance allowance and lovely lunches etc.

    Well done I love a bit of liberation. Especially with the hired help over the photocopier. Lovely jubbly !

  14. Oh aye Her Gracious and Noble the Lady Pauline Prescott K.N.O.B.

    What a mockery these people have made of government.

    Thank heavens for Holyrood.

  15. Hooray for Hollyrood !!
    Oh no hang on . MSPs' still refusing to pay back any profit made from taxpayer funded homes : (
    Still covering up the Aberdeen affair. Still building the Beauly - Denny greenline, still planning 50% cuts in greenhouse gases despite agm warming being a massive hoax, still wanting to stay in the EU, releasing mass murderer Megrahi, banning smoking in pubs, introducing minimum alcohol prices, keeping home reports, keeping Comprehensive schools, ignoring the budget deficit........

    Did you have to go and spoil things by mentioning Holyrood Tris ? !

  16. John Prescott, Lord of the Pies, I like it. I feel a blog coming on. Off to visit Sophia, hope she's got some cream buns from Greggs this morning.

  17. The United States a country of 300 million people makes do with 100 members of its upper house (the senate) and 435 members of its lower house (the House of Representatives). And a directly elected President.

    The United Kingdom has a population of 60 million, its upper house (the House of Lords) will soon have close to 1000 members while its lower house (the House of Commons) has 649 members. And an unelected Monarchy+family.

    How does the United States manage to be the richest and most powerful country in the world (after China???) without an unelected head of state and their brood to go around doing “deals” and wowing those heads of state and government that were merely elected? And without hundreds of unelected people in their upper house providing invaluable expertise? And with only 435 members of their lower house to represent all these millions of people?

  18. We haven't mentioned good old Dr Jackie Wilson McConnell, now we will have two Lards in the Scottish Parliament.

  19. As for the David Laws thing. The Lib Dems are too used to lax scrutiny of their affairs (pardon the pun) because hitherto they did not register highly on the media's radar (or should I say gaydar?). But now that they are renting a room at Tory central they can expect the press to be rumaging through their dirty laundry. And guess what? They are not the whiter than white party after all.

    Never mind in a years time there will have to be a divvy of their vote between the other three parties in Scotland. After all those on the right will think why vote lib dem? You may as well vote Tory. The shocked left will go Labour's way I suspect and the SNP will get whats left. I will miss Tavish's wee rat like face, and just when he is getting the hang of it too!

  20. Ah guess the SNP's job ower the next year is tae hoover up aw thae Liberal votes, no just what's leftower. Why wid any Liberal voter that's just been turned-ower by London party-frolicks be willin' tae throw their vote at yet another London-centric party?

    The left have aye looked shocked. Ah think it's cos they dinnae go tae their beds early enough.

  21. I thought this unelected shambles stuffed full of bloated wannabe somethings was to be abolished?

    With the Tory party coined up with money people you would expect them to have the upper hand in this unelected upmarket Bronx but the fact that the so called working mans party, Labour, have most of the fat backsides in the lords just adds insult to injury. I don't understand the workings of the Lords and I would be sick if I thought one penny of my income went towards this graveyard for retired junk.

  22. I'm just looking at the picture of the Lords on this post and I counted 200 Santa's, 16 Mr Blobby's, 12 Elks and 300 life like gargoyles. It's like a who's who in Hogwarts.

  23. Oh Lordy: Trust Allan and Sophia to make you laugh...

    I suspect that Sophia may have the answer to all our problems. A national maximum bedtime of 10 o'clock.

    And our Allan, as Cilly Black would say, counting Mr Blobbys, Santas and gargoyles (becasue he ran out of sheep.... that's the members of the commons) so he can get off to sleep by that time.

    Oh well..... if this blog's not much good for anything else, at least we get a good laugh.

    More seriously, both the Tories and the Liberals wanted to get rid of the Lords, reduce the size of parliament and their way of doing it is to create over 200 new places on the benches....WHAT?

    I'd like to think that we would sweep up all the Liberal Democrat votes in our elections, but you know, I have my doubts.

    I just can't understand Scots people who don't have sufficient trust in their own people to think they can run their own country in close friendship with neighbours from the south and west. It's like all spirit has been knocked out of them and they believe the utter rubbish that the likes of the wee skinny drip or misery told them.... what would Scotland have done without Dr Brown to guide it through the economic downturn (the one that he had a huge part in creating)?

    What is it they say.... “oh we’re just pair fowk affn a council estate, bidin’ in a multi. Labour’s oor saviour. They’ll look efter wi” And despite remaining pair fowk for more than 70 years the daft buggers are still voting for them.

    Well ... what do you do with downhearted dispirited people like that? We’ve tried telling them that Labour does sod all ofr them and a great deal for themselves, heaven knows the Daily Telegrpah has shown them in detail that the only people that Labour enriches is labour (oh and the bankers this time round).

    Maybe .... NOTE TO SNP LEADERSHIP... adn James on Scot Goes Pop said this ages ago... we should start trying to paint for them in primary colours, what life in Scotland, as opposed to Scotlandshire, would be like.

    We never hear much of that.

    Right....early nights for you all tonight.... (I’m still chortling at that!)

  24. Well... your superb pieness, I guess nowhere is perfect... and of course I don't agree with some of the stuff you've said up there, but we've been through it before and you'll keep your opinion and I'll keep mine, but compared with what should be a high security catagory A prison in Westminster, Holyrood is a wee centre for slightly naughty boys.

  25. Munguin: I didn't notice wee Joke.

    God these people are so stupid. Don't they realise what wee idiots they look in their robes.
    all red (not a man's colour really) and with ermine collars....

    Why can't Labour supporters see that that's what they are in politics for.

    "The working class can kiss my ass;
    I've got the foreman's job at last."

    What a load of wee jokes they are.

  26. Lord of the Pies is pretty good Brownlie, but what about the slap in the face to the De Menezes, with the elevation of the idiot Lord Stockwell Tube Station (tube to his friend....Gordon Brown evidently).

    Still as Brazil is reported to have so much money that it doesn't know what to do with it, this would seem to be the right time for broke Britain to insult them with this totally unearned elevation to the aristocracy of the man who got nothing right except toadying to the Labour Party.

  27. tris,

    Prescott, Lord of the Pies, will appreciate the school-meals type food served in House of Lord's restaurant. They have a steamed pudding named after Lard Foulkes.

  28. brownlie:

    well... he is a steamING pudding after all.....