Thursday, 13 May 2010


Well the Cabinet is sorted now with a mix of Libs and Cons, left and right, thin and fat, male and female......!

I’ve listed the most important of them below together with a few comments:

William Hague
: Foreign and Commonwealth Office. Was the leader between 1997-2002. It’s suggested he’s in the wrong job as he is so pro-America and anti-Europe. His mind would be better suited to the Treasury.

George Osborne: Treasury. Youngest Chancellor for 124 years. With all that is to come is he up to the battering he will get on the Today programme?

Theresa May: Home Office (Largely English only role). Most famous for being unspectacular at every brief she held and wearing weird shoes, she appears to be the token woman in a top position, but it’s one I doubt she’ll hold for long.

Ken Clarke: Justice/Lord Chancellor. (Largely English role). Can’t wait to see the Hush Puppies walking backwards after delivering the speech to Her Majesty. Ken’s pretty competent at everything he turns his hand to.

Ian Duncan-Smith: Work and Pensions. Big job for IDS with unemployment rising badly and no jobs on the horizon. They have promised to put people back to work, but there is none... worth a separate post soon.

Michael Gove: English Education. Close friend of Cameron. Will have to sell new schools run by parents.

Vince Cable: Business. Uncertainties over brief, and how it clashes with Treasury. Will have to do something about splitting up the big banks and getting some money back off them.

Liam Fox: Defence. No experience in service. Very dubious record on expenses and on his dealings with declaring interest. Not a nice man. Not to be trusted.

Andrew Lansley: English Health . Will have to find billions of efficiency savings which as we know always translate into deaths.

Francis Maude: Cabinet Office Minister. No idea what they do. He can come and polish our cabinets if he likes.

Thomas Galloway Dunlop du Roy de Blicquy Galbraith: Leader of the Lords. Best known for his parties with baths full of pink champagne on ice. Great. Deal is that he’ll be involved in abolishing himself. I hope he’s good at it.

Chris Hulme: English Energy. Westminster School, Oxford and the Sorbonne. Very clever guy who will have to try to keep the Tories Green.

Jeremy Hunt: English Culture. Will have to shave money off London’s Olympics.

Eric Pickles: English Communities. Says he’s at war with town hall fat cats. Good luck to him.

Andrew Mitchell: International Development. Friend of Ashcroft. Will have to rebalance the development budget from rich to poor countries.

Philip Hammond: English Transport. Going to have great cuts to worry about, including Crossrail, so look out for fireworks with the blond haystack.

Danny Alexander: Scotland. Easy job, not much to it, and he only has Spud Murphy to follow. On the other hand he has to try to stay on the right side of Alex Salmond.

Cheryl Gillan: Wales. Will have to commit to full devolution for Wales. Don’t you think the very existence of these two roles show that Scotland and Wales are unequal partners in this union? There isn’t an England Secretary which suggests that the whole thing is about England.....

Owen Paterson: NI. God help him.

Caroline Spellman: English Environment. Anne Widdecombe’s voice without her brains, and she pays her nanny out of parliamentary expenses and ends up as a Cabinet Minister. Why?

Patrick McLouchin: Chief Conservative Whip. Will have to keep the peace in the coalition. Hah!

Baroness Warsi: No portfolio. Token Muslim and female one at that, with a voice like a corncrake.

Overall, some totally uninspiring people, and a few good ones. One thing I was pleased to see is that the main ministers are from the Commons, unlike the last Cabinet.


  1. So what happened to Nick Herbert Shadow SOS for Environment? And openly gay potential Tory cabinet member. Well seems he has been appointed Minister for police reform under that daft cow May. So much for the inclusive new politics!

  2. Look Munguin. They managed to have four women. Have a care would you. You really can't expect them to have moved THAT far out of the 1950s.

  3. Mt thought on some of the Tory scum

    William Hague:

    Is an evil sinister man going to crack down on the non E.U.immigration well whooppee doo!
    Thats about 20% of the total flooding in the country he will just have to extra nasty to the 20% in order to satisfy the racists in the Tory party.......

    George Osborne: one of 'The Three Toff Amigos'
    Him and his brother like prossys!

    Ken Clarke: ask Ken about his role in the HIV aids blood transfusion service you will find his unflappability very flappy.

    In 1983, Ken Clarke, then health secretary, told parliament: "There is no evidence that Aids is transmitted by blood products."

    Michael Gove: where the hell does he get that weird voice(his contemporaries have gone on record to say he never used to talk like that)

    Liam Fox: hates gays

    Thomas Galloway Dunlop du Roy de Blicquy Galbraith: just a made up name

    Eric Pickles: Fat Twat par excellence traitor to the North were he was unable to get elected

    Baroness Warsi: Hates muslims

  4. So Niko... Yer not exactly enamoured of the new Cabinet then.....?

  5. Tris

    I hate them they hate me we know where we stand..Good

    Cleggy the new Ramsay MacDonald under construction he is just working his way into the role at the mo..


    The Parable of the Talents

    it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15To one he gave five talents[a] of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.

    19"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'

    21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

    22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'

    23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

    24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'

    26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

    28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents.

    29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance.

    Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.

    30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

  7. Oh Heavens Niko... weeping and gnashing of teeth, huh?

    Cheer up matey. You live in Scotland and there you have a left of centre social democratic government that will try to protect you from the worst evils of the English regime.

    If you just voted SNP and we got independence we would have an abundance of left of centre politics.

    We're building council houses again Niko. We care about the poor. Labour wouldn't let us do that.

    Come over and join the progressive parties mate.... No more weeping (yes weeping) and gnashing of teeth.... oh especially the gnashing of teeth but .....eeeeekkkkk.

  8. PS Niko. Who's your choice for leader? Ed Balls?

  9. The torys evil Lidless Eye is alway and forever centered on the north sea and its black gold..

    Ed's me man so far Ed balls would be better of not standing Damaged goods could be an elderly chancellor when Labour return to power.......

  10. Mr Mixed pickled

    You have to face the facts, nothing but nothing was as turdish as the last cabinet and boy did they have some mighty bad stinkers in it.

  11. Tris

    Good commentary on the new cabinet ministers and great point btw, they were or at least most of them were elected by the public unlike the last job for the boys in the Labour gang.

    Quite a few of the new cabinet minister I have never heard of before but the fat Pickles guy is a bloated version of Mandelson.

    The wee Lib/Dem guy who is goffar to the treasury has a mouth like Zippy.

    All in all not exactly a great bunch of individuals but lets be honest, the bench mark from the previous lot was not that high.

  12. Evening Allan...

    Easy to beat the last lot, aren't they?

  13. Meanwhile over in Miliband tower all the talk is! Miliband, Miliband,Miliband,Miliband, its Miliband Miliband Ed v Miliband David v Miliband

    Miliband v Miliband my name is Miliband his name is Miliband my brother is Ed Miliband and my brother is David Miliband.


  14. Did anyone say Miliband there...

    No one saying Balls?

  15. Tris

    Lol evertime I tune into the news its Miliband Miliband Miliband.

    Balls will get squeezed out by both Miliband's.

  16. Allan.

    LOL @ balls being squeezed by the Milipedes..... horrid thought. You have a mind like a sink.

    What with you and Conan with his mucky post about Petula Clark on the last article... tut tut....

    We'll be washing mouths out with carbolic shortly!!

  17. Tris & Mixed Pickle

    I don't know if he will stand for the leadership of the Labour party but Peter Hain would be a decent sort of guy to lead them. Even through on the turmoil of new labour I always liked the guy.

    Or the could bring Kinnock back in! Alright! Alright! Alright!. Nah surely not lol.

  18. Tris

    I haven't read your last piece on Petula Clark but thanks for bringing it to my attention.

  19. Lordy no. Hain had difficulty running the Dept Leaders campaign and coping with the legalities of domations he received. Lord only knows what he'd do with the whole party.

    Kinnock... hum OH yeah, Oh yeah, Oh yeah Kinnock you mean. Lord Kinnoch and Lady Kinnock and all the little Hon Kinnocks with jobs on us?

    Yeah great. I'd swim for Iceland rather than have any of them....

    I think it should be Tony Benn, or Dannis Skinner.


    Ah Munguin's funny Pet Clark video.. worth a look matey.....

  20. Tris

    Lordy Skinner? The beast of bodmin moor. Well he could appeal to the heartlands but could be a bit brutal for the middle England votes which Labour crave so much now.

    No Tris he shouted !ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! I remember because my mother said at the time that was the last time she was ever voting for Labour lol. It still haunts her.

  21. Oh... LOL... Sorry, I thought it was Oh yeah.... but I'll gladly take your mum's word for it.

    It lost them the election though; there were lots of people with the same idea as your mum Allan.

  22. Tris

    Actually both of us are wrong, he shouted (We're Alright) lol.

    Found this clip of him,check out the clip at 1.39 and as you rightly said this was the moment they lost the election.


    Suppose I had better give you the link.

  24. LOL ...erm, it does make it easier to watch that way mate....


  25. Just watched it... I won't sleep now...

    What a twerp......

    Still for all that he cocked up big time, he went on to enjoy a very nice money making career, him and his wife... and his kids.

    He's all that's wrong with Labour.

    Not a party for the working man. Not even a party for the rich man. Just a party for themselves.

  26. "Mt thought on some of the Tory scum"

    You must be the most odious, disgusting, pathetic, offensive little man I have ever had the misfortune of communicating with. Your worse than that twit Peter.

    Just get lost you creep.

  27. Deano

    you have not met me brother...........

  28. Calm down Niko, and leave the boy alone

  29. Dean: Niko is harmless...well mostly.

    He doesn't really mean any of that scum stuff. He'd like us to think he does, but the depth of some of his posts suggests that he's intelligent, well read, perceptive and above all that rubbish.

    He would have got round at some point to admitting that Labour isn't without its own examples of lowlife. You'll remember the likes of:

    Jacquie "I live in my sister's kitchen cupboard despite being on £150,000 a year" Smith;

    The Noble and Rt Hon the Lord Martin of Springburn, the common man's friend (as long as the common man was driving his taxpayer-funded limo or a taxpayer-funded taxi for his wife and her mate);

    Hazel the Chipmonk, I'm paying my capital gains tax now that I've been caught out, so you can't prosecute me like a normal person Blears;

    Margaret "I need to spend my weekends with my boyfriend, so sod the constituents, and I'm off work with depression, but I'm up for anything else that pays money. Greedy cow" Moran;

    Jack "I support who and what Harry supports and Gordon Brown is wonderful" Dromey;

    The caterwauling Margaret "it's all the SNP's fault (for campaigning against us) that Labour lost in England. WHAT?" Curren;

    The three MPs done for housing benefit fraud who thought themselves too posh (Jim Devine, posh?) to be tried in an ordinary persons' court and wanted to be excused from standing in the dock along with smelling working class criminals.

    Jeez, Niko should speak about Tory scum.

    Not that there aren't a good number of them too Dean, as you very well know.

    I think we're equal on that one.


  30. Tris

    Spot on, Labour belt out that they are one of them/Us but in truth they are just in it for themselves.

  31. LOL @ Mixed Pickle and Dean

    Some things never change. I remember all the slagging matches between Mixed Pickles and his great protege Omar/Amw.

    Dean as Tris says, don't get too upset over Mixed Pickles, I'm almost certain that in real life he is one heck of a nice guy.

    Btw Mixed Pickles,your protege Omar scored one heck of a goal at Tynecastle yesterday in a cup final and won man of the match. I think he is better suited to the pitch rather than the keyboard lol.

  32. Allan:

    That brings back fond memories of last year. Omar was really the one who started me on the bogging, just coz I perstered him so much on AMW that he wanted me to do one myself, so that he could pester me back....

    I missed him loads when he decided to give up blogging.

    Great to know he's still blasting these goals past the opposition. Man of the Match? Great. He certainly is some guy, and suited to both I think Allan. I always like to think that he has a sneaky look at the Republic from time to time.

    .... and yeah, he used to give old Niko a hard time, but underneath it all he was quietly fond of him I think.

  33. Tris

    Same here, I miss his blogging too and I new he was going to give it up but was a bit shocked when I came back from my winter holidays to find that he had removed his blog content and all the great blogs that he followed.

    To be fair to him he I think the pressure of his work and football got to him and he only kept his blog going for the length of time that it did because he never wanted to upset anyone who took the time to follow it by quiting. At least that was the impression I got from some of his emails.

    He followed some great blogs (including this one)so I emailed him to ask him for some links for the blogs and even for some of his contacts that he built up such as Sobrosa and Mark who does the Universality of Cheese blog because I was nearly going to do my own blog but I think in the end I preferred just to do the reading and comment lol.

    Ive not actually spoken to him since I was out at Heriot Watt early last year before he graduated and it was really just a quick hello although I do follow Spartans football club and try and get to watch most of their home games.

    One of my mates also plays for the club and I used to work out at Heriot Watt so that is how I got to know Omar, well sort of got to know him.

    It was by sheer fluke I came across his blog because I was reading a Sports website and he left a tag on it which linked back to his AMW site then like the rest of his readers I was hooked.

    I think he is moving down to London in September to work for a year, from what I can gather he was never the sort of lad to hang about in his comfort zone.

    Yes Tris he is still banning in the goals from what I can gather. Lol he did give Pickles a hard time but I think Pickles gave back as good as he got.

  34. i miss old spooks more than words can say...Heart broken isn't the a big enough word.....

    I think i will do a post about it

  35. Steady on Mixed Pickles, you will have us all in tears lol.

  36. Och Allan, I miss him too. He was a great part of the Scottish bogisphere. Fair to everyone and a good guy all round. He even put up with Niko and his tantrums...

    He knew how to deal with you Niko, didn’t he?

    Yeah. His might not have been the best spelled blog but it was the most welcoming and even if he disagreed with you violently, you got a nice polite answer...

    On a personal level when I was sick Spooky was so supportive... and I needed that. Every day that guy was there for me with an encouraging word and a cheery wee email.... What a mate to have. Bird of Prey is a lucky lad.

    If you see him Allan, tell him I miss him... and wish him the best from me if he's on his way abroad!!

  37. Niko: Do a post. Brilliant.