A GOVERNMENT OF ALL THE TALENTS?

Well the Cabinet is sorted now with a mix of Libs and Cons, left and right, thin and fat, male and female......!

I’ve listed the most important of them below together with a few comments:

William Hague: Foreign and Commonwealth Office. Was the leader between 1997-2002. It’s suggested he’s in the wrong job as he is so pro-America and anti-Europe. His mind would be better suited to the Treasury.

George Osborne: Treasury. Youngest Chancellor for 124 years. With all that is to come is he up to the battering he will get on the Today programme?

Theresa May: Home Office (Largely English only role). Most famous for being unspectacular at every brief she held and wearing weird shoes, she appears to be the token woman in a top position, but it’s one I doubt she’ll hold for long.

Ken Clarke: Justice/Lord Chancellor. (Largely English role). Can’t wait to see the Hush Puppies walking backwards after delivering the speech to Her Majesty. Ken’s pretty competent at everything he turns his hand to.

Ian Duncan-Smith: Work and Pensions. Big job for IDS with unemployment rising badly and no jobs on the horizon. They have promised to put people back to work, but there is none... worth a separate post soon.

Michael Gove: English Education. Close friend of Cameron. Will have to sell new schools run by parents.

Vince Cable: Business. Uncertainties over brief, and how it clashes with Treasury. Will have to do something about splitting up the big banks and getting some money back off them.

Liam Fox: Defence. No experience in service. Very dubious record on expenses and on his dealings with declaring interest. Not a nice man. Not to be trusted.

Andrew Lansley: English Health . Will have to find billions of efficiency savings which as we know always translate into deaths.

Francis Maude: Cabinet Office Minister. No idea what they do. He can come and polish our cabinets if he likes.

Thomas Galloway Dunlop du Roy de Blicquy Galbraith: Leader of the Lords. Best known for his parties with baths full of pink champagne on ice. Great. Deal is that he’ll be involved in abolishing himself. I hope he’s good at it.

Chris Hulme: English Energy. Westminster School, Oxford and the Sorbonne. Very clever guy who will have to try to keep the Tories Green.

Jeremy Hunt: English Culture. Will have to shave money off London’s Olympics.

Eric Pickles: English Communities. Says he’s at war with town hall fat cats. Good luck to him.

Andrew Mitchell: International Development. Friend of Ashcroft. Will have to rebalance the development budget from rich to poor countries.

Philip Hammond: English Transport. Going to have great cuts to worry about, including Crossrail, so look out for fireworks with the blond haystack.

Danny Alexander: Scotland. Easy job, not much to it, and he only has Spud Murphy to follow. On the other hand he has to try to stay on the right side of Alex Salmond.

Cheryl Gillan: Wales. Will have to commit to full devolution for Wales. Don’t you think the very existence of these two roles show that Scotland and Wales are unequal partners in this union? There isn’t an England Secretary which suggests that the whole thing is about England.....

Owen Paterson: NI. God help him.

Caroline Spellman: English Environment. Anne Widdecombe’s voice without her brains, and she pays her nanny out of parliamentary expenses and ends up as a Cabinet Minister. Why?

Patrick McLouchin: Chief Conservative Whip. Will have to keep the peace in the coalition. Hah!

Baroness Warsi: No portfolio. Token Muslim and female one at that, with a voice like a corncrake.

Overall, some totally uninspiring people, and a few good ones. One thing I was pleased to see is that the main ministers are from the Commons, unlike the last Cabinet.