RANDOM THOUGHTS

LESSONS HAVE NOT BEEN LEARNED

I've had it in mind for a few days to write something about some of the interventions that have been coming from London politicians and commentators about the SNP.

So many of them have now put their two pennyworth in that it seems to be almost impossible to keep up...

Sarah Vine, (close mate of Cameron's wife, and wife herself of the funny looking, snippy wee man who reminds me of a Hogwarts house elf, and who managed to lock himself in a toilet on his first day as Chief Whip) warning that the SNP with its small numbers of MPs in a British parliament, would turn the country into a communist dictatorship.

We all know about Mr Major insisting that no one who is not standing for the parliament should be allowed to pass an opinion on the subject. His announcement of where he is standing is expected shortly.

The along came Boris, with his usual lack of tact and diplomacy, to liken Nicola Sturgeon to king Herod, the bloke, you'll remember, that had all the kids in his country killed, lest one of them turn out to be competition to him in the king stakes.

Then you get Cameron announcing that he intends to set up inspections of the work of the Scottish parliament... So much for the most power for any devolved parliament in the world, anywhere. Way to get our approval, Poshboy.

 Anyway, I've spared you from my thoughts becasue I saw THIS and could never have bettered it. 

Every day someone launches an attack or vitriol at the SNP or at Nicola personally. 

What I can't understand for the life of me is why, over the last few months, they haven't learned that that kind of thing doesn't actually do a lot of good.

OK. In the referendum they alternately love bombed us and blasted us with hatred. A teary-eyed Cameron one minute saying how it would break his heart if Scotland left (presumably because whatever else he was remembered for ...very little I suspect... he would go down in history as the prime minister who lost Scotland)... and the next they screamed at us that we would be broke within a month, they'd take our currency away from us, bar us from EU membership and put up barbed wire border posts. We really were too wee, poor and stupid to do what Iceland could do with its 400,000 population.

None of that worked. The more they ranted, the more the YES numbers rose. From 22% at the beginning to over 50%. They panicked, got Gordon to come out of retirement to promise Federalism, because they had known all along that that was the most popular option... and, as we know, they won the day 55/45.

But we also know that the day after the queen purred down the phone at him, Cameron stuck a great big evel knife in Gordon's back. Voting on English laws in the UK parliament would exclude Scottish MPs. (Not desperately unfair in my opinion: why should a Scottish MP vote on English matters for which he has no responsibility to his constituents?) But effectively this meant that Labour would almost never again really be in power, even if it won a UK election. The Tories would nearly always be able to vote down Labour's legislation for England, because the Tories would nearly always be in an English majority.

Game, Set and Match, Cameron.

The Eton boy famously said that he had Alex Salmond bagged, stuffed and mounted on his wall after the referendum. Given what has happened since he may well live to regret that!  What he really had on his wall though, was Ed Miliband. And Ed had signed the vow, and Gordon had made it credible. Sheesh, how they must have broken out the good Bolly that night.

If I'd been in any of the major English-based parties at the beginning of the campaign for May 2015, with the SNP in the ascendancy, I think I'd have been looking back at the near past to see if I could learn from the mistakes that were made which led to a post referendum situation where the losers were the winners; where the SNP was the third largest party in the UK with probably around 14 times the number of members in Scotland as their nearest rivals, Labour. And the Greens had at least as many members as Labour.

I might well have ruled out another vow. I'd certainly have ruled out Gordon "I guarantee all this.... oooops" Brown.  And I think, given its obvious popularity, I'd have ruled out gratuitous insults of the SNP and its leadership.

Who do they impress, these insults? I wonder if even solid Labour voters like to hear Sturgeon being likened to a child murderer by a posh boy whose party has overseen thousands of deaths of our poorest people by cancelling their social security payments just weeks before their deaths. 

Maybe some people are amused by these things, but you don't convert floating voters with that kind of talk. 

If you don't believe this, look at the debates where the unionists ganged up on Nicola and Patrick, or just Nicola, and then look at the SNP membership spike that followed them.

I can't quite work out why the London parties are so intent on committing political suicide.

In the referendum campaign I always thought that they would find a way at the end to scupper our hopes. 

I couldn't, of course, guess what it would be. You'll remember that I proposed it might be a terrorist plot to bomb Holyrood, foiled by the might of the British Empire's secret police. (Not difficult if they had organised it.) 

Or maybe the death of a senior but expendable royal.  

Or the wedding of Harry to someone or other, anyone will do,  and great rejoicing and celebrations throughout the land. 

I must admit I never saw coming the Vow or the Clunking Fist guaranteeing it.

I still think it quite possible that they have something up their sleeve for a couple of days before the election. 

Please let it be Gordon again. That would just be so funny.
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PS.... A propos de Gordon, I have just read this tweet from Iain:

Iain Macwhirter ‏@iainmacwhirter  9m9 minutes ago

It's #indyref 2! "All we need is Gordon Brown trundled out like Mons Meg for one last blast against the Nats". My Herald column tomorrow.

HOW DIM DO THEY THINK THEIR READERS ARE?

Richard Desmond, owner of 'The Daily Star' is also part owner of 'The Irish Daily Star', whose editor has been suspended over the publication of pictures of Kate Middleton in a less than fully dressed situation.

Mr Desmond has said angrily, that had he been the outright owner and had had full control of editorial policy, the paper would never have published the pictures.

Now you might have concluded from this that our Mr Desmond has a deep 'respect' for William and Kate. But if you did, you would have been wrong.

You see, as well as owning 'The Daily Star', 'The Daily Express and Channel 5 Television  Richard also owns a number of tv stations whose programmes, or rather delectations are not listed in in 'Radio Times'.

After a great deal of publicity in the aforementioned 'Daily Star', two of these channels chose to celebrate last year's royal wedding by showing "A Royal Romp".

You could be forgiven for assuming that this was an appropriate mark of respect on a day of celebrations all over England. You may imagine that the programme was an account of members of the family on a horseback, galloping across their vast estates. But if you did, once again you would be wrong.

"A Royal Romp" actually featured a character called Kate Fiddleton in the business of consummating of her marriage with lookalikes of Wills and Harry, while lookalikes of the Queen and Charles looked on. Tasteful, huh?

And just to make sure that no-one missed the show, it was repeated the next day...

However, Dirty Dicky Desmond is not the only tabloid proprietor to be caught displaying double standards.

Mr Murdoch's 'Sun' commented on the 'Irish Daily Star's' decision to print the pictures, saying: "Prince William's wife is entitled to feel fury and disgust at these low life rags printing pictures of her topless".

A wee bit odd that they should have forgotten that only two weeks before they felt within their rights, indeed justified, to show pictures of Prince Harry's arse, saying that it was "a crucial test of the freedom of the press" and that it was absurd that in the days of the internet that 'Sun' readers with no access to a computer should de denied the opportunity to engage in the 'national conversation'... (so the sub heading on the above pic is not entirely accurate or truthful, is it?). 

Yep, that's the what the national conversation was about... Harry's bum, or at least so reckons the Sun, oddly around the time that Hillsborough was about to explode in their faces.

ALEX SALMOND BOOED AND PRINCESS MIDDLETON'S BOOBS

It has been brought to Munguin's Republic's attention that we have been tardy about mentioning Alex Salmond being booed at the Olympics Parade in Glasgow. 

So, in order to right that wrong, here we are. You can hear it on this video, just:

ALEX SALMOND WAS BOOED IN GLASGOW

I can also point out that the Scotsman reports the story, calling it a George Osborne moment (although they might easily have called it a David Cameron moment, or a Teresa May moment or a Jeremy Hunt moment... but not by anyone called James Naughtie.)

The first minister was, however, later cheered when he said that although London has set a high bar, Glasgow would be even better. Fortunately Mr Davidson will not be getting his way, stopping the Scottish government having any part in the organising of the games (with the consequential inevitable result of the removal of 80% of the funding, which the Scottish government is supplying ...the rest being found by Glasgow Council).

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Now, moving on, can we please stop the fuss about Kate Middleton's boobs.

There are simply more important things going on in the world than some rich woman being photographed with her top off. And as she is not really royal, we still have no way of knowing whether having blue blood makes you differently put together.

If you are in the public eye, and if in fact you need to stay in the public eye to justify your very existence (as Philip once admitted the royals did), then you make sure that you don't get naked in public (note to Harry too), even if it's in a château in France, owned by your husband's uncle (or a hotel room in Las Vegas with your posh mates and some local tottie with an eye to the main chance).

Simples!

Now for some people that's going to be a hard one to take, but on the other hand, she's a girl who only a short time ago was called Kate Middleton, and now suddenly she's HRH Princess William, Countess of Strathearn, Duchess of Cambridge and probably a whole pile of other things too. She has an endless supply of money, she only has to snap her fingers for a legion of servants, dressers, footmen, butlers, flower arrangers, chauffeurs, page boys, under parlour maids and tweenies to come running. 

And one day she will be Her Majesty the Queen. Nice work if you can get it.

It was her choice. So covering up when she's on holiday (like most people who don't have access to châteaux are obliged to do by law) is a small sacrifice by comparison.

Much amusing stuff has been said about this, but Richard Desmond (of Channel 5, porn tv, Hello and Daily Star/Express fame...'Dirty Des' as he is unaffectionately called by Private Eye) jumping up and down about it is beyond funny. 

And the fact that the royals are calling the woman who took  and sold the pictures "greedy" is a bit of a joke too. No greed in that family... eh? Princess Michael, Prince Michael, Prince Andrew, Princess Wessex, and of course the Queen applying for funding set aside for the very poor to provide central heating.

If there is one royal story that should be told it is that putting Harry back in Afghanistan appears to have cost several people their lives, several more their good health, and the destruction of 5 fighter aircraft at an enormous cost. Smart move! 

Why, on earth does he not just stick to going around the country helping kids, at which he excels?

RANDOM PHOTOGRAPHS

Busy like crazy at the moment, so I hope you will enjoy some pics I found over the last week or so. As always click on the illustrations to make them bigger.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Fair's fair. I'm a republican, but I can praise individual royals' work when it's good. I've always said that Anne is a star with her Save the Children work. But today I take my hat off to Harry. He may be a bit of a prat sometimes, but he's done a good job of showing other royals how they can behave on tour. He's been a credit to his mum and to Britain the way he's been connecting with people, especially with kids.  You'll not get any bowing and scraping or any idiotic titles and styles from me, Harry; just a well done, mate.

Hague is going to be sued (couldn't happen to a nicer bloke) for providing intelligence to America which then drone bombed  Pakistan killing totally innocent people. Lawyers said that they had "credible, unchallenged" evidence that Hague oversaw a policy of passing British intelligence to US forces planning attacks against militants. And this time he, or they, or both,  got it wrong! We really have to learn that this isn't the good old colonial days when we could go around killing natives with abandon.

On the same theme, I wonder what kind of payback there is going to be for the murders of 16 Afghans, including 5 kids, carried out by a "rogue" soldier. There is sure to be some. It might be better to use this as an excuse to get the hell out of there, with our apologies for the mess we are leaving it in. 


Talking about leaving messes behind us, I was reading this morning that fashionably dressed men in Iraq are being attacked and killed. The Telegraph reported that up to 90 people, all but 2 men, have been killed for being trendily dressed and having floppy hair. It is assumed by the religious fanatics that now hold sway in the country (that we went in to liberate from a dictator), that anyone who is dressed fashionably is a homosexual, and that justifies killing them. Clearly the fanatics should get out more. Oh and to Bush and Blair...well done guys. You certainly liberated the Iraqis.


According to the Independent, the bill for London's Olympics has increased by another £2 billion. You would never credit that we are all in this together, would you? Just how much more is this fiasco going to cost.

Again, this time in the Telegraph, (enough to take you breath away, this one), the London government is going to support people buying homes worth up to £500,000 in an effort to revive the middle class dream of home ownership. Apparently rescuing the banks from their own stupidity and greed, and then handing them further billions of pounds in quantitative easing hasn't actually stimulated any lending (and we all know why that is: they needed it all for their bloody bonuses and salaries). So the government is going to have to guarantee their loans too, out of our money....at a time when house prices are going down. Smart thinking, Cameron.


And finally, while we're on the subject of the idiot Cameron, I noticed in one of the "idiot" papers yesterday that Cameron is going to get a ride in Airforce One. Imagine that! The paper pointed out with glee that President Sarkozy has never been invited to ride in the President's personal plane, ergo that President Obama had a very special relationship with Britain and Cameron. A bit of a leap.  I think it's highly unlikely that the  intellectual Mr Obama, who got where he is despite his origins, and because of his brain, would have much in common with Cameron who got where he got because of his connections and despite his brain.

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING....ER.... REDHEADED?

"The fairy-tale romantic union of all the centuries. 29th April 2011”, may be exaggerating the importance of THE wedding that we are all being bombarded with, but that is how Guandong Enterprises advertises their commemorative “Made in China Royal Wedding Souvenir” mug.

The company's website says that it is : "A beautiful cup to commemorate the most beautiful occasion. Crafted in the finest bone china, it features an exquisite design of the happy couple with ornate gold detailing to honour this great moment in history. Please be our guests to own this esteemed, limited edition heirloom to celebrate with your work associates, friends, family and loved ones."

Ye gads... and that was produced in a Communist state!

But from what I can see, it’s more a fairy story than a fairy tale, because the pictures on the mug are Kate Middleton and Harry Wales.

Now I realise that there is a certain amount of passing around of suitable breeding stock in the upper crust of English society. Indeed when the prince that May of Teck came to Britain to marry in the early part of the 20th century, died, she was simply allocated the next one down. Either they were determined to have her as queen, or she was determined to be queen, no matter what!

But I can’t help but wonder if Kate just looked at Willie’s balding pate and though to herself that, although when she chummed up with him at first he seemed to have a lot of his mother’s looks, as time goes on he looks less and less like her and more and more like his father. And that has to be bad news. However Harry looks nothing at all like any of the Windsors!! As such he would probably be a far better bet.

Or maybe it just that, when it comes to westerners, we all look the same to them...

Pics: (1) The ‘offending’ mug, which is now of course worth a great deal more than the ticket price!! (2) Before and (3) after. Kate’s not getting all that she signed up for in the hair department. (4) He looks more like his father every day...and he seems to like a drink like his Auntie Margaret!. (5) His father back in the day. It’s just as well he had "the books", for he sure didn't have "the looks"!

Is Prince William with us in the "we are all in this together" syndrome?

The Sunday Times reports today that Prince William is to cost cash strapped North Wales constabulary an estimated (remember these royal expenses are not subject to FOI, for some reason) £1.4 million in extra protection costs as a result of his decision to live in an isolated cottage rather than on the RAF base where he is doing his flight training.

Incredibly this means that the savings forced on the force will be wiped out in a stroke. The North Wales force had been told that it would have to save £1.4 million as a result of government cutbacks. This entire saving is now going to be obliterated in employing a 15 strong unit of armed officers to protect William. A cost that need not accrue if he were to live on the well protected RAF base where he is doing his three year helicopter pilots course.

The reason for William’s decision is so that he can spend more time with his girlfriend, Kate Middleton and friends. Well that is nice. I guess the people of North Wales can just do without police for the duration of Wills stay.

St James’s Palace has said that it is not unusual for officers of William’s rank to live off base. What is unusual is that “normal” officers do not need a round the clock escort of 15 armed police. Nor are their expenses, paid for by the British taxpayer, exempt from Freedom of Information Legislation.

Of course William and his brother are very keen to display a veneer of being just normal lads. But from time to time that slips and we are all made painfully aware that we are not all in this together at all. You know the sort of thing: young role models dressing up as Nazis or assaulting journalist while pissed outside night clubs or borrowing a MOD Chinook to fly through one of the most heavily protected airspace corridors in the country to take you mates to a stag party. That sort of thing.

William don’t put yourself out one iota will you. The rest of the country is in a financial pickle but you just keep on milking the state for all you are worth.

Protecting Willie’s love nest in rural Wales? Good value for money? Hardly. Cheap at twice the price? Really?