NOW REMEMBER: WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

Welfare, already under investigation by the UN, and the Council of Europe  because it is manifestly inadequate is to be cut by a further billion, says the Telegraph*, so that middle classes can have a tax rebate. 

Well, it's only fair, isn't it?

AND...

The Duchess of Middleton has a new designer.  No seriously, isn't that soooo exciting? 

OK. Calm down dears. Pull yourselves together. There's another 18 or so lines to read...

So much for her buying her kit from Marks & Spencer like some ordinary human being. Clearly got fed up with that caper. Personal designers must go with the lazy lifestyle that she and Willy Saxe-Coberg have adopted of late.

In other news, it looks like if/when the UK leaves the EU, Donald Trump's USA will be happy to trade with them. Of course the EU referendum is in June, and Trump hasn't even won the Republican nomination yet, never mind the presidency, the election of which isn't till November. So don't count your chickens here might be considered sound advice.

* Warning: This is the Daily Telegraph, the paper of the dotty old Sark twins. Veracity is not its strong point. And, it's not unknown for George to get his pet poodles in the press to announce something in advance of his Budget speech so that the slightly less draconian steps he takes on the actual day will look relatively warm and cuddly. (Warm and cuddly Gideot? There's a thought to leave you with. I'm off to be sick.)

WELL, THAT SHOULD HACK CAMERON OFF

This EU whole thing gets more exciting by the day.

I wonder if she's purred that little message down the phone to Eton Boy!

If you read the small print of course, the Sun is about a year out of date with this news, as the story tells of how she "let rip" at the then deputy Prime Minister Cleggy.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the skiving, skiing prince, Willy, say only a couple of weeks ago, before he disappeared on yet another holiday, that they should stay in the Union?

All this London politics gets a bit complex for us poor Scots. Conflicting evidence from two of the most respected political commentators of the family.

Still, as I say, it should hack Cameron off, and really, who could ask for more?

It's probably worth saying that Buckingham Palace and Clegg and everyone else denies absolutely that this happened and the household says the Queen would never get involved in politics. Not in the UK, not in Scotland, not in Québec, and not in Europe.

POOOOOOR ELAINE. HOW WILL SHE COPE?

I can't remember how much MSPs get as a wage, but I'm sure that Ms Smith would have been able to find money for bagpipe tuition had it not been provided by the state.

But aside of that, Ms Smith raises a good point. And to be fair Labour has been consistent in their complaining about this sort of thing over a concerted period. They have pointed out over and over that there are fewer courses being run by colleges or funded by the Scottish government at school. 

Possibly bagpipe tuition is among those to go. I understand that there are fewer courses on home crafts and flower arranging, basket weaving, conversational Portuguese, Latin for beginners, and other such things. .

No one wants to see these courses go. But year on year since the 2007 election when Labour ceased to be the senior party in a coalition that ran Scotland but remained in charge of finances in London, there has been a reduction in the Scottish budget. The Scottish government has received less and less money to provide services

And we've been lumbered with an assortment of costs trying to alleviate the worst effects of Mr Osborne's crazy drive to save money that should be spent on ordinary people. 

Not that Scotland has particularly been earmarked for punishment. It hasn't. All of Britain is broke. We are all in this together. Everyone is suffering...well, when I say everyone, I don't exactly mean EVERYONE.

At the time of the crash Britain's economy was in a catastrophic state. Of course it wasn't alone. The USA, Iceland, Ireland and to a lesser extent continental Europe, all suffered, with knock on problems for others. 

The banks were broke and, having made massive profits as privatised companies, were now seeking to socialise their monumental losses (and were allowed to by Brown and Darling).

Personal credit had been allowed to run riot and people owed astounding amounts on a variety of credit and charge cards, paying exorbitant interest rates into the black hole of bank insolvency. 

The price of houses had reached the stage where only prince Charles could afford to buy one (despite him living in subsidised state housing), so mortgages were a gigantic debt, made all the worse that they had been a spate of remortgaging so that people could live the high life on borrowed money, with the sure and certain knowledge that house prices would continue to rise until a one-roomed flat cost a cool billion!!!

Then CRASH. It all fell down. What a surprise! And although, as I say, it wasn't all Britain's fault, and it wasn't all Labour's fault, some of it, a fair bit, was.

That was when, if I remember rightly, that it was decided by the powers that be, that we were all in it together. We all had to show Dunkirk spirit and fight to save our country. Well, some of us did anyway. 

Bankers of course did not lose out in this Dunkirkian effort. Nor did the politicians or officials who had overseen (or rather failed to oversee) the chaos.
And royals and lords continued to live just as they had done before. Indeed over the period from then till now MPs have received a massive pay increase. The Queen and her heir have had large rises in their various sources of income. The prime minister has got himself a private jet and prince William now has a helicopter. All in it together, Aye!!

But the ones who ARE all in it together have found that there is less money for social security, police, schools, courts, health, roads, transport, colleges, universities, etc, etc. And of course for the smaller countries of "our united kingdom", as Cameron keeps on irritatingly referring to it, we get less money in block grant from Big Brother.

Erm.... what?

For all we are a broke little country, however, there has been no dismantling of that status symbol of big rich countries, the independent nuclear deterrent, which of course, as we have discussed before, is neither independent nor a deterrent. (Well the USA didn't find it much of a deterrent when the Twin Towers and the Pentagon were bombed; France didn't find it much help back in November, and 7/7 came and went despite the presence of nukes only 500 miles away. And it's not independent because the idea that the UK would [even if it could] use it without permission from America, is completely laughable.)

Nope, it's sole purpose as far as most of us (except Jackie Baillie) can see, is it makes the British government look very big and important in the world. Jackie seems to think that it provides thousands and thousands of jobs for her constituents, but she lives in a fantasy world.

Austerity isn't for rich people.  It doesn't become them. Elaine Smith might have to pay for her son's bagpipe tuition, but she'll cope.  Austerity is for people on the dole; on low wages; on zero hour contracts. 

And austerity hasn't worked, no matter what Osborne tells you. All it's done is smack the already disadvantaged in the face... We know because you can hardly help but know, that there are people who have had their benefits stopped because it was reckoned they were skivers... just as their lives were ending in a hospital bed. And people with too many rooms in their council flat becasue someone went to uni, or died have had to fork out (although not in Scotland) or be evicted despite there being nowhere else to go. People have committed suicide becasue of the misery and shame of living as part of Cameron's underclass.

The stories are too many to retell here. But we can find them all on the net.

And Labour's answer is to this austerity isn't to stop interfering in wars in the Middle East; it isn't to get rid of the WMDs; it's not to demand that companies like Google pay some taxes or that royals live in ONE palace instead of six.

It is rather, that the poor and 'just getting by' pay extra tax, and that the very well off pay 5p extra on earnings over £150,000. It comes with the promise that they will arrange a possibly illegal, and in any case horrifically expensive and complex, system of repayments to the very poor, for which, I add, they will have to fill in forms and present confirmation that they are indeed poor, then lose tax credit and pay tax on their tax rebate (that isn't a tax rebate, honest Mr O)

As Stuart has pointed out, this tax rise won't even cover the costs of the improvements they wish to make to education (which I thought they were going to fund by not reducing airport tax [and thereby creating 2000 jobs]). 

What WOULD cover the costs of the education improvements, however, including Ms Smith's laddies' bagpipe lessons, would be scrapping bloody Trident.

Finally, could someone close to her please  see if they can talk Baillie into realising that really there are very few jobs in Trident. 

I don't know about you, but I'd rather not live next to weapons that Portsmouth thought too dangerous to site in their back yard, and if we got rid of it, I'm sure that in the millions we would save every year there would be sufficient to revitalise the area!

WHILE SOME PEOPLE WERE HUNGRY, SOME COLD, AND PARLIAMENT VOTED TO REMOVE WORKING TAX CREDITS, THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE HAVING A JOLLY GOOD DAY AT OUR EXPENSE, WHAT!

Arrival.

Instead of customs, he gets met by the queen

What on Earth does Theresa May look like and where did they hide Philip Hammond?

Anyone know what that says?

If you got enough money adn sufficient servants you can scrub up well

He must think that we drive in the middle of the road, and haven't quite got cars yet.

She looks like she's having a good time with the old racist.
I wonder how many times he's managed to insult her.

Just like home

I wonder if that what you had for dinner f you were down at the food bank yesterday.

Is that her bus pass she's got on that blue thing?

Just a few people round for supper...after all she doesn't have to pay for it. You do.

And the booze is free too.

Down side is you have to listen to one of Liz's interminable speeches, which may Philip Hammond sound interesting and animated. 

Not everyone is happy.

Specially steel workers...

...And Tibetans, who get an even worse deal from the Chinese than Scots get from the Brits.

WE ARE ALL IN IT TOGETHER

I wonder how much that would fetch melted down for scrap?

I'm happy to dob them in

It seems that HRH went off the colours she had chosen...
... and it all had to be done again.

Think, Columbo, it must be because they have a lot to hide

Costly, and neither useful nor ornamental.
In my house, that kind of thing goes to the tip.

It's an easier target for IDS; they don't move as fast as foxes.

Just as well she knows the right people
Just like Jackie Smith, remember her?

We're all Bob Cratchits

Ewwww... hard one.
Which one is it that lies every time he opens his mouth

Of course...

They'll find something... sure won't be their fault.

It's not supposed to work for the plebs.
Probably does pretty well for the nobs though.

Be warned!

No improvement there.
Even if it doesn't work for the bulk of us, the South East will like it.

The only important place.

And we know who they are...

Yes, that's right, the load of greedy, unprincipled, unscrupulous swine.

Oh sod off, your lordship, I mean, Danny. No one gives a stuff.

So useful, ridding the countryside of all these useless flying animals.
What do pest controllers get paid again?
THAT much? And a helicopter too?
Hell's teeth, I'll get me a job doing that!

Your mother would be so ashamed of you. She didn't bring
you up to murder innocent animals for fun.

Finally, there were those among us who were irritated that the Queen made a very ill-advised and badly thought-out reference to reconciliation in and with Scotland in her speech this year, completely neglecting, as she did, to mention the two sides of the argument... including the lies and cheating now being revealed about the campaign, and her own unconstitutional involvement. Not to mention her purring down the phone. It was just wrong and did her a considerable amount of harm.

Additionally, sitting in a palace surrounded by immense treasure and wealth, as one of the richest women in the world in her own right, and with rights for life to what must be trillions of pounds worth of art treasures, she had the bloody nerve to talk about how her Christian faith had always guided her actions.

Now I had an idea that the Church demanded that everyone give 10% of their wealth to help the poor (tithe), and Her Majesty, with practically limitless finances, by coincidence, has around a million of her subjects who don't have enough money to feed themselves, clothe themselves or heat their homes. And that's only in her British nation. She is Queen of 15 other countries and several territories!

And yet for all her strong Christian faith which she claims guides her every action, we see no evidence at all that she does much to help those of her peoples in such dire situations. Here's a wee message for her Grace from an ex President of the USA.

Maybe coming from America she will take some notice.

Perhaps too, the UK prime minister, who also claims to be a Christian and that the UK is a Christian Country, and his Minister for Work and Pensions, who apparently, although unbelievably, has pretensions in that direction too, would like to take that on board.

POOR BRITAIN

“Fuel prices rose by an inflation-busting seven per cent in 2013, pushing more people into fuel poverty. The fact that this is happening in an energy-rich country is scandalous." - Housing Minister Margaret Burgess.

In fairness I very much doubt that by any measure the UK is the
6th largest economy in the world,
but by anyone's standards we are relatively rich as a country.
Why, then, do people have the indignity of begging for food thrust upon them?

This is because he is a Tory. The Conservatives in Scotland
who accept that they have no chance of forming a government
want to see Gentleman Jim as the leader.

I suppose there are always food banks ma'am. Although it is rather infra dig, and
there are a lot of MPs who would think that you were faking it.

Ah, yes, the horrendous cost of keeping this OAP home for toffs open could have been reduced just a little, had they agreed to share catering with the Commoners along the corridor. However, this was rejected by their Erminenesses on the basis that the vintage of the subsidised champagne would not have been of sufficient quality for the taste buds of aristocrats, and well, one couldn't have that, could one?

Ewwwww. UGLYYYYYY Bastards

The Chief Secretary to the Treasury, largely responsible for the misery of hunger
gets a photo opportunity at a food bank, and shows just how detached from reality he is.

I suppose there must be trickle down in some way. After all the hyper rich have to eat, have their cars driven and
their houses cleaned, but they are so incredibly mean that they pay for it all at the bottom possible rate, leaving the
recipients unable to let the money trickle any farther.

In one of the top 20 countries in the world...
Makes you so proud to be British.

Who can argue that?
Not seen many poor councillors though...

Well, we couldnt have a Westminster government frightening
away their friends who will give them directorships when they retire to the Lords

Socialism... what's that then?

Well, otherwise he wouldn't get home in time to see his little prince get off to bed
like hundreds of thousands of other fathers all over the country.
Maybe the DWP could provide helicopters for all of them on the social security?
No?