RANDOM THOUGHTS

You'll love this one (well most of you will).

Suffolk Tories apparently accepted an illegal donation of £3,000 during the last election. There's no question about it. They owned up. The person who donated the money was not on the electoral register at the time the money was given.

The electoral commission ruled that they should be fined the sum of £1,100, but should not be required to return the donation.

If my arithmetic is right, they get a donation of £3,000, they are fined £1,100, so their net gain is £1,900. Not much of a punishment; not much of a disincentive to repeat the crime next time round.

Still, it's the Tories. They appear do whatever they want and walk off laughing.
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Erm, has Harriet joined the Tory party? We all know she is aristocratic and it wouldn't be stretching the imagination much to guess that she loathes Mr Corbyn, but what's this about. Don't tell us they just banged into each other.  

Waitrose I might just about swallow, but ASDA? Please!

Dodgy Dave down with people again, innit? Top button undone, not singing God Save the Queen (tut tut, what would your mother say Dodge?), but wearing a suit that cost more that the bloke he's talking to earns in a year. 
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A few months ago, the gross old duke of York was unhappy that he couldn't get through the gates at Windsor Great Park, where he has one of his houses...well, one of OUR houses. Apparently the mechanism for automatic opening had failed. So the fat boy decided that, as he had a great big 2.5 tonne, £80,000 Range Rover, he'd just smash the gates down...as you would, if a £5,000 repair to your car were of no interest.

The alternative would have been a 1 mile... yes a whole mile...detour. How utterly ghastly!

Well obviously a royal highness couldn't be expected to put up with that kind of inconvenience, so he broke the gates down. OUR gates that WE paid for.

If you lived in your own home and you decided that you would trash your gates to save yourself a little inconvenience, that would be your business. If you lived in a council house, or one owned by a housing association or the state, then it becomes their business.

Most people would call it criminal damage and charges would be brought.

Needless to say Air Miles is getting off Scot free.
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The same goes for tax pounds. 

Every so often David Cameron reminds us we are a Christian country. I can't imagine why he would do that unless he was trying to stir up bad feeling with Muslims or Jews or some other religious groups: Ya know, make them feel ill at ease, not at home?

But the very people who might be considered to know a little bit more about Christian values than Dodgy Dave, that is to say the bishops of the State Church, are rather less than enthusiastic about his policies.

Not that Church of England bishops are the only ones to criticise. The leader of the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales has also laid into the Tories for their heartlessness in welfare reforms. Odd given what a devout Catholic Iain Duncan Smith is.

And even odder that his replacement is one of these OTT Christians that tells us prayer can cure anything... and apparently people with Parkinson's should just get out there and get a job.

Every year some of us (admittedly a dwindling number) listen to Her Majesty's Christmas message. It's a mixture of her family news, the stuff some folk write in long tedious letters at Christmas, but she gets to put on the BBC (ya know, Andrew losing his rag with a gate; the number of holidays that the blood princesses have taken; how little work William and Kate have done; how much money they screwed out of the people of Cornwall to keep Mrs Parker Bowles in diamond tiaras, etc) together with a religious message. 

She invariably talks about how she has tried to follow the teachings of Christ all of her life in everything she does. Clearly she misses out the bit about the rich man and the eye of the needle, given her immense wealth, and the "suffer the little children" bit of these teachings. 

Probably feeding the 5000 passes her by, as within a few miles of Buckingham Palace some of her loyal subjects are sleeping in cardboard boxes and eating out of soup kitchens. Children subjects of hers have little or noting to eat due to the policies that she reads out from her gold throne with her multi million pound hat on her head, having stepped out of a gold coach.

It's a long time since I was forced, in this Christian country, to read the bible as part of my core curriculum, but I can recall all of those things even if I maybe don't always live up to them. It's strange that the queen has such problems with them, having dedicated her life to following such teachings.

SNAPS ON SATURDAY

That's why they like to charge for education then?

And no one seems to give a damn.
I wonder why that would be.

Gideon being flattered by someone who wants a seat in the lords?

Hmmmm. Yep, I think I can see that.
No, wait, I can't.

No. It means that he's rich and he either knows the right people,
or possibly where the bodies are buried.

But don't wait for the Daily Mail to tell you this.

Erm, because they weren't ideologically opposed to them?

 Popat seems like a real tight wad.

Bless her. She should probably retire.
She seems not to know what she's doing.

...and I still have it to this day!
We knew how to look after our stuff, and of course,
sticks were better made in my day!

The bosses go to London.

And Jim is telling them that he could play on the right wing

Mrs Thatcher in the forefront and her lackey by her side 

Ed: I said go find us a door to stand in front of with TEN on it, cloth ears

That's because Cameron is a monster.

If only we cared about living as much as we cared about killing

Yes, but the 99% were only little people who didn't matter.
The 1% were our types from Eton and Oxford.

Well, you see...
If you abstain no one can accuse you of having taken sides.
So you keep in with everyone...
and the wages and expenses still keep coming in.
So why bother?

We know you work for Jim the Tory, but the idea is that
you are supposed to keep it a bit quiet.

You can laugh (well, I hope you do).
But (apart from Dean), do you know how to say it in Cantonese?

WE ARE ALL IN IT TOGETHER

I wonder how much that would fetch melted down for scrap?

I'm happy to dob them in

It seems that HRH went off the colours she had chosen...
... and it all had to be done again.

Think, Columbo, it must be because they have a lot to hide

Costly, and neither useful nor ornamental.
In my house, that kind of thing goes to the tip.

It's an easier target for IDS; they don't move as fast as foxes.

Just as well she knows the right people
Just like Jackie Smith, remember her?

We're all Bob Cratchits

Ewwww... hard one.
Which one is it that lies every time he opens his mouth

Of course...

They'll find something... sure won't be their fault.

It's not supposed to work for the plebs.
Probably does pretty well for the nobs though.

Be warned!

No improvement there.
Even if it doesn't work for the bulk of us, the South East will like it.

The only important place.

And we know who they are...

Yes, that's right, the load of greedy, unprincipled, unscrupulous swine.

Oh sod off, your lordship, I mean, Danny. No one gives a stuff.

So useful, ridding the countryside of all these useless flying animals.
What do pest controllers get paid again?
THAT much? And a helicopter too?
Hell's teeth, I'll get me a job doing that!

Your mother would be so ashamed of you. She didn't bring
you up to murder innocent animals for fun.

Finally, there were those among us who were irritated that the Queen made a very ill-advised and badly thought-out reference to reconciliation in and with Scotland in her speech this year, completely neglecting, as she did, to mention the two sides of the argument... including the lies and cheating now being revealed about the campaign, and her own unconstitutional involvement. Not to mention her purring down the phone. It was just wrong and did her a considerable amount of harm.

Additionally, sitting in a palace surrounded by immense treasure and wealth, as one of the richest women in the world in her own right, and with rights for life to what must be trillions of pounds worth of art treasures, she had the bloody nerve to talk about how her Christian faith had always guided her actions.

Now I had an idea that the Church demanded that everyone give 10% of their wealth to help the poor (tithe), and Her Majesty, with practically limitless finances, by coincidence, has around a million of her subjects who don't have enough money to feed themselves, clothe themselves or heat their homes. And that's only in her British nation. She is Queen of 15 other countries and several territories!

And yet for all her strong Christian faith which she claims guides her every action, we see no evidence at all that she does much to help those of her peoples in such dire situations. Here's a wee message for her Grace from an ex President of the USA.

Maybe coming from America she will take some notice.

Perhaps too, the UK prime minister, who also claims to be a Christian and that the UK is a Christian Country, and his Minister for Work and Pensions, who apparently, although unbelievably, has pretensions in that direction too, would like to take that on board.