FOTOS ON FRIDAY

That's right, bow before your new monarch, while he looks bored, and in the opposite direction. What a prat!

Lower, you commoner. Another monarch you serve, Cameron.

Sorry readers. It wasn't our  intention for you to choke with laughter.

Gideon promises to pay down the deficit by 3020, or 4020 or something...

Ah yes. There are numerous women in various different part of the country, who are lookalikes for this one. But it's OK, they aren't the same, because they have different names. What they have in common is that they all used to be Labour supporters, but now they are supporting the Ruth Davidson Party because Ruth is the only party utterly committed to the union.

Nice company to keep. Add the Ruth Davidson party.

Well, it wasn't them, was it?

Ah, the intelligentsia has arrived.

Has to be one or the other.

Better Together, huh?

...and Munguin's Republic.

Not gonna disagree with that!

Aye Jackie....

What's that you say Jackie? 13,000? Sure...

Well, you had to grow something for the poor, Dave.

You'd have thought they would have considered that before the belly ached about the one party state, or not?

Don't worry Dave. No one will ever say you were a great man.
We can imagine what they WILL say, but Munguin's granny reads this so... Mum's the word...

Aye, that's Jim, the shortest ever holder of the labour leadership..
And that's saying something!

Well, you never know Frankie, it's best to be prepared... and then there are these 13,000 520 jobs or whatever you believe... the MoD or Jackonomics.

TA TA TO BRITISH STEEL THANKS TO THE TORIES

Maybe Mr Cameron (or more likely Mr Osborne, who seems to be in love with the Chinese) would care to explain why, when the EU is trying to stem the flow of cheap Chinese steel, he has blocked it.

Could it be that the 40,000+ odd jobs in the steel industry in the UK are less important than George having a special relationship with Beijing?

Maybe it's just that the Eton boy like supping ale with Presidents of big important countries, and Mr Obama isn't that keen on supping ale with unimportant wannabes, so second best president will have to do?

Or maybe George (I'm not very photogenic, but things go better with coke) Osborne likes being invited to China on luxury all-expenses-covered holidays?

You have to wonder if their promise to make the UK China's best partner in the West has meant that they were prepared to block Europe's attempts to bolster their domestic steel industries. (Bet the Europeans secretly can't wait to see the back of them.)

After all Port Talbot is in Wales, Labour territory, most of the other plants are in the North... and there are not too many Tories to worry about there. 

The rest are in Scotland. And since when were they interested in Scotland? Poorest of pickings for the Tories. They can sort it out for themselves (which they did!)

On the other hand the Chinese throw a good banquet!

In other news Mr Cameron says he will not renationalise the company. Bailing out bankers is one thing; bailing out steel workers, quite another. After all steel workers don't take one to lunch at the best Mayfair eateries!

John Prescott

@johnprescott

Whilst Labour MPs pleaded with Tata in India to save Port Talbot the Business Secretary was in Australia. Shocking. https://t.co/sXKxMHtXtM

Anyone seen the English Business Secretary?

Or indeed the Welsh Business Minister?

WHILE SOME PEOPLE WERE HUNGRY, SOME COLD, AND PARLIAMENT VOTED TO REMOVE WORKING TAX CREDITS, THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE HAVING A JOLLY GOOD DAY AT OUR EXPENSE, WHAT!

Arrival.

Instead of customs, he gets met by the queen

What on Earth does Theresa May look like and where did they hide Philip Hammond?

Anyone know what that says?

If you got enough money adn sufficient servants you can scrub up well

He must think that we drive in the middle of the road, and haven't quite got cars yet.

She looks like she's having a good time with the old racist.
I wonder how many times he's managed to insult her.

Just like home

I wonder if that what you had for dinner f you were down at the food bank yesterday.

Is that her bus pass she's got on that blue thing?

Just a few people round for supper...after all she doesn't have to pay for it. You do.

And the booze is free too.

Down side is you have to listen to one of Liz's interminable speeches, which may Philip Hammond sound interesting and animated. 

Not everyone is happy.

Specially steel workers...

...And Tibetans, who get an even worse deal from the Chinese than Scots get from the Brits.

RAMBLING THOUGHTS: THIS AND THAT AND PRESIDENT XI

The Chinese President and his wife are going on a state visit to London, starting tonight and it seems Cameron is practising being suitably deferential.

It appears that since Obama took up with Frau Merkel, the Eton boy has been searching around for another "bestie" to whom he can grovel, the better to continue to be seen with a big boy somewhere in the world.

He is, we should never forget, quite popular with the Saudi royals, who find him a useful supplier of weapons, and of course, a ready sponsor for their chairmanship of the Human Rights Panel of the United Nations, which is pretty weird for arguably one of the world's worst abusers of human rights. Still, rich though they are, they don't quite have the je ne sais quoi of superpower mates!

We know, of course Dave's friendship with Putin was somewhat strained after the Russian president knocked him back over his request to help defeat the Yes Campaign in the Scottish independence referendum, so that only really leaves the Chinese.

So Gideon, doing his master's bidding, was off last week to Beijing, promising the Chinese they can build England's railways and their nuclear power stations and ...well, anything really, as long as Xi (can I call you Jinping?) will pose for pictures with Cameron and make him look and feel like he actually matters a bit.,... not to mention making that ingrate Obama a little jealous!

I heard that Charlie won't be at the state dinner for President Xi as, at 66 he needs to rest before embarking next month on some foreign visits. Just as well his 89 year old mother doesn't need to rest so much, or hosting Dave's state visit might entail dragging the enchanting princess Beatrice back from whatever holiday the lazy sponging git is on at the moment. 

(As a side note, maybe Iain Duncan Smith would like to look into this potential client's case. It seems that she's been unemployed for 8 months and has only managed 17 holidays. Does this make her a striver or a skiver and should she be sanctioned?)

As Munguin hasn't been invited to the state dinner we won't be able to give you chapter and verse about who sat next to whom, or how many courses there were.

We did, however, manage to get along to Aldi's today and make a wee contribution to the local church's food-bank, then take some clothes to the very excellent Refugee centre in Dundee where fantastic people were working hard sorting donations to take to Calais.

Anyway, we hope their state visit goes well. They would be welcome to come to Scotland sometime for Haggis and chappit tatties and neeps!

Oh, and  have a nice holiday, Beatrice. Don't you worry your pretty little head about poor suffering people, will you?