Cameron's new slogan is about a country living within its means. What could go wrong?

I mean, what could possibly go wrong with a nice sensible slogan that suggests the country should live within its means....? 

Well Murphy's law states that what CAN go wrong WILL go wrong (OK, we know, but that's a laugh for another day) and after Die Straße in Deutschland, you'd have though that someone with the most expensive qualifications money can buy, in England, would have thought twice before spouting off... after all something might go wrong...

Like this, for a start. I mean, no one expects Mrs Mountbatten to get take visitors to McDonald's, or get the Co-op in to do something like Auntie Jessie's funeral tea, but come on, Liz, for a country with £1,500,000,000,000 of debt, this could hardly be said to be living within our means. 

Canapés and a glass of Asti Spumanti from Tesco at £32 a case is enough, surely, to stop them getting dehydrated.

Then there's this little beauty of a £13 million ski lodge being bought for Airmiles Andrew, perhaps in the hopes that he'll spend a little less time with teenage girls. No one knows how Billy Bunter and his ex wife could afford the money, given that she is permanently broke and pimping herself (or him) for cash, and he hasn't any money of his own, given that he spends everything he gets and has to get his mates to bail out the ex!

So the assumption has to be that his mother is forking out for it... and where does she get her money, remind me?

We should never forget that we are still punching well above our weight militarily. You'll remember how proud of that Cameron was when he came to Scotland to tell us that we wouldn't be able to afford to do that if we were independent. Assuming presumably that we'd all turned into public school oinks with an Empire fixation and would therefore want to!

We need to take into consideration too the replacement of the Nuclear Weapons that Blair admitted were only for show and prestige. That's £100,000,000,000 and counting. Heaven forbid we would lose any prestige. I simply couldn't stand the embarrassment, darling!

Of course we could also make a small saving here and there on Mr Pickles travelling expenses. His expenditure on private hire of cars has mounted to £500,000 in the last three years. What the hell has he been doing? Taking a world tour? 

It seems Mr Pickles doesn't like public transport. Or maybe it doesn't like him!

Still, the comforting news for Mr Cameron at least is that the English Health Service is cutting the number of cancer drugs that will be available to the public. That should put us back on the straight and narrow. It's pretty rotten news for English cancer patients but that's unlikely to concern that government much.

I'm sure too, that Her Majesty will ensure that we don't waste any precious money paying the fines of errant, elderly, overweight, playboys who enjoy over active sexual appetites.