SNAPS ON SUNDAY NIGHT...

The words frying pan and fire come to mind...

The words door, hit and arse come to mind...

When and with whom WILL they debate?

Bravo, you greedy scroat

Still, we're all in it together, and the UK
has broad shoulders, you keep telling us

There you go, Jimmy.
If you want to get away with tax dodging,
Campaign for Cameron and slip him some dosh

Ooooops... too Big then?

Unfortunately. You could try cutting it off?

They  tell us they have an active Grass Roots campaign
Pity it's based in London and only has millionaire Tories in it

Well, you read it first on Munguin, who pinched it from the FT!

Now that would be a smart thing to do.
Way to start a revolution m'Lords

We ARE all in it together...
(Notice bottom right. Carney is warning about the bubble)

He's even more of a plonker than Darling Alistair

Just as well for some people in this picture

Big wheels within big wheels

You bet you are you greedy little scroat.
You stand to make a fortune, and so does you odious father in law
the 'Noble' Lord Howell

No matter what they tell you. There's not any point on basing your
decision on one man approaching retirement age.

Exactly...so we can take it there will be no more powers

Oh dear... Did you try inviting all the neighbours, for free
and throwing in tea and biscuits? Gin?
Try gin next time (if there is a next time).
It usually brings them in

Did I hear someone say "Liars and cheats"

Madmen.
Did you see their Grand Fromage being fried on radio in England?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27439164
Fried Fromage Farage

Like I said, you're a greedy little scroat.
You don't have to go on proving it

And so are you, you foul little man. Silk cushions?
What's your arse made of? Bone China?

It's the way of the Tories and their little helpers
(what are they called again?)
Come to that, it's the way of Labour too

SATIRE AT SIXTEEN...

This is brilliant. It had me fooled when I was watching it... then I spotted the little YES sticker at the bottom right hand side, looked at the guy's handle (Laugh out Loud about the World) and thought... Genius. 

The thing is that it's not a kick in the butt away from the stuff that Nob Orders is coming up with, and before them Better Torygether.

This guy has a brilliant future as a satirist if he can do this at 16.

COME ON, MAN UP DAVE, OR SEND SOMEONE WITH AUTHORITY TO DO IT FOR YOU

What am I doing here? Tea and a Tunnocks Wafer?
Where's the "Shipwrecked 1907 Heidseick" one normally has
around this time of night

I don't understand Cameron’s argument for not debating with Alex Salmond. (Aside: Please politicians, I’m sick of reading that Cameron refuses to debate Alex Salmond.  You debate WITH someone. If you debate THEM, then THEY are the subject.)

Anyway…It doesn't matter that Cameron is English; it doesn't matter that he doesn't have a vote; it doesn't even matter that he’s not the head of the No campaign and he wants us to believe that Alex Salmond IS head of the Yes campaign, even if he is not. 

If it was all about that, why didn't he send Alistair darling to sign the Edinburgh Agreement?

It doesn't matter that David Cameron is an important world leader (at least in his own eyes), who has slept in the president’s bed on Air Force One, and that Alex Salmond is a provincial leader of a country within the UK, who has never had the need to even meet the president never mind make use of his sheets, duvet and alarm clock.

It’s not about status or nationality or the right to vote in the referendum.

What matters is that, whichever way the referendum goes, at the very moment when the result is known, and for at least 7 months after that date (and likely much longer) David Cameron will be the head of the government which has to deal with that outcome. And his opposite number in this matter will be Alex Salmond.

It’s just that simple.

Seriously, are you telling me that there is no vintage champagne?

If Scots say yes, then Cameron is the man who will have to set up the British side of the negotiations for an amicable settlement between the two countries. It’s a massive job involving a vast number of issues. But Cameron will choose the negotiators and he will chair the Cabinet that advises the Queen on what she should pass into law. In the end, what the prime minister says, usually goes.

Alex Salmond is the man who will be overall in change of negotiations from the Scottish side. He will have exactly the same role in negotiations and he too will advise the Queen. Alex has indicated that he would want people from across the political spectrum to be involved (I’m sure Cameron will too), but THEY are the bosses.

If the answer is no, then Cameron will have the responsibility of negotiating (or not) some sort of settlement for post referendum Scotland, and Salmond, as the Scottish leader, is the man with whom he will have to deal.

I’m all for Salmond-Darling debates, or Salmond-Brown, Salmond-Alexander, Salmond-Reid… or whoever is running No at that moment.  The more debates the better. The more that both sides are held to account, the more likely people will know what they are voting for or against. And the more likely that strengths will out and weaknesses, on either side, will be exposed.

But whichever of the above debates take place, the participants from the UK can make no promises for the future. At least none that will carry any weight. 

Look, you can't mean you don't have a white tie,Mr Salmond
What do you wear to dine?

It no use us thinking that a promise made by Darling or Alexander will be kept by a Tory government in the future. They are political enemies. Darling and Brown are opposition, back bench, part time MPs. The fact that once they held power means nothing. They have no authority. They are the opposition in an adversarial parliamentary system. That is not to put them down. It's simply the truth.

The so called Labour Big Beasts from the Lords are likewise part time aristocratic members of parliament from the opposition. The party which is OUT of power.

Alexander and Murphy are at least opposition shadow ministers. But still neither has any governmental authority.

Anything either of them says is just words.

Any of these people can promise Alex Salmond, live on tv, that extra funding will be given; powers will be devolved; that, for example, our deputy first minister will no longer have to beg an aristocratic, unelected minister in London, for permission to pay housing benefit at a level suitable to our needs... The government could later scoff and say: "WE did not promise any of this".

Well, that's a mercy.
Back in London, only slightly bruised by
a couple of days in Jockland.
I'll send Carmichael next time.

A debate at that level needs to lay out what the two big cheeses will allow after the referendum is over. No one but Cameron and Salmond can do that.

It has been suggested that Cameron thinks that it is beneath his dignity to debate with Salmond: that he would demean the status of his office to debate with the head of a regional government in Edinburgh. 

I’m not sure if this is true, but if it is then he should appoint someone from his cabinet or ministerial team… and he should invest in him or her the authority to make promises at the same level as Mr Salmond can.

Someone who has a vote, someone who is Scottish, who can, on behalf of the prime minister, assure us, in a debate on tv, that what he promises will be government policy. That would seem to suggest either Danny Alexander or Alistair Carmichael from the Liberals, or Wee David Mundell from his own party.

To borrow a phrase from Wendy..."Bring it on". 

DAVE MAKES BIG INROADS IN DUNDEE'S NO VOTE

To round off the visit of the Eton Toff prime minister to Scotland, the people in Dundee’s Stobswell cast their votes on Friday at the Courier’s Referendum Roadshow. Given that it is a true blue Conservative supporting paper, this is quite something. This is how they reported it. (Thanks to my mum for bringing this to my attention.)

The large turnout delivered a majority for the Yes vote with 56% while there were 44% votes for No.

Yes voter Robert Milne, 70 said he had been a No voter when the campaign began but had since changed his mind.

He said: “I have listened to so much tripe from the Better Together campaign I changed my vote. There has been a lot of negativity and scaremongering about building a new Hadrian’s Wall with no valid arguments.

“They sound worried about it so there must be something to gain.”

Local business owner Graham Angus, 55, said he was against independence for Scotland but would like to have a referendum on Europe as he felt the global political system was getting a bit like George Orwell’s 1984.

The former young Conservative said he was disillusioned with politics and has since changed his vote to UKIP.

He said: “The wee man has no say on what’s going on in his life. I am totally disillusioned by it all. Alex Salmond has not put a strong enough case for it and has been a bit fluffy on the issues.

“What I don’t understand is why he wants to get rid of the UK government, but I think better the devil you know.”

Retired taxi driver, John Gibson, 73, of Whitfield said he would also be voting No.

He said: “I’m a Labour man and I think Labour will get in again – probably at the next election.”

Mavis Kerr, 76, said she would be voting Yes as she was sick of the political slagging matches taking place at Westminster and wanted to make a chance for the younger generation.

She said: “I’ve got grand-children and great-grandchildren and I think we’ve got to have a better country for the young people. I don’t see the Conservatives doing it.

“We never should have gone to war in Iraq.

“I think we need a change and that’s why I’m voting Yes. Life is uncertain but sometimes change is for the better.

Retired teacher Edith Constable, 71, said she will also be voting Yes because she is against the current government’s policies.

She said: “The one main reason I am voting is is because I am sick to death with Westminster policies, the expenses scandal, the Iraq War, plans to renew Trident at a huge cost to the taxpayer.

“The No campaign have been very negative and seem to use the fear factor a lot in their campaign. I have got every confidence Scotland will cope economically.” 

The Hilltown's vote, it seems, was even more in favour of independence.

Looks like Dave failed to persuade many people in Dundee.

Come back again soon Dave, we're missing you already...

ALEX SALMOND ON JOHN SMITH...

First Minister: "Mr Cameron chose to invoke the memory of John Smith on the eve of his visit to Scotland. I was a Westminster counterpart of John Smith when Mr Cameron was an adviser to a Tory Chancellor.

"At that time, John Smith believed in a Scottish Parliament – David Cameron didn’t.

“John Smith believed in a fairer society – David Cameron didn’t.

“I knew John Smith, and David Cameron is no John Smith.”

**********

Cameron's visit was somewhat marred by the release of statistics from the Office for National Statistics which show the distribution of wealth (pensions, savings, property and investments) in the UK.

They illustrate the social and geographic imbalances that have developed under London Rule.

The ONS reports, "the median household total wealth for Scotland is a fifth (20%) lower than the corresponding value for Wales and over a quarter 26%) lower than the value for England. For more information look here.

Voting no means that you are satisfied that although you contribute more to the pot, you are going to be very very much poorer than people in England. 

And they tell us that English taxes subsidies us... What a bloody joke.

**********

***********

Jock McJock the Coo's mates!

***********

Munguin's mate!

THE BIGGEST OF ALL THE BIG HITTERS ARRIVES IN SCOTLAND

"Well, that's it; we're sunk the noo, chuckle, chuckle", said Alex Salmond, reported a Downing Street source.

I've just been reading Wee Ginger Dug’s hilarious evaluation of the four so-called Labour so-called big hitters that the Tory Together team are sending up from London to persuade us to vote for more illegal wars, more high speed railways in England, better sewers in London, Crossrail, mass slaughter of the disabled and sick, and humiliation of the poor, the old and the unemployed. 

I was in a gang too. I was one of Lord Snooty's little chums

You might think that that it’s all a rather negative message, but I assure you, there are positives.

We are being urged, too, to vote for no pay restraint (on bankers), Gary Barlow’s ennoblement for being a far more efficient tax fiddler than any silly Labour comic (and living in Eton Dave’s constituency, and contributing to Dave’s campaign).

Most of all, they are urging us to vote for “punching above our weight” and “clout”, the small word with a big meaning, at least for those who enjoy the benefits of it. 

Oh yum yum. I wish I were an ordinary person and
could eat food like this delicious...erm, what is it?

The benefits of all this punching and having  clout, for those that don’t know, are that, instead of wasting money on nonsensical things like decent roads, railways, health, education, social services, pensions, housing, and all that trivia, we get to have the fourth largest military spend in the world and our “leaders” get to travel around, first class, sometimes even in the bed of no lesser a personage than the President of the United States of America (although not, I hasten to point out, at the same time as he is in it).  

So it’s a hard choice… Gideon Osborne and Eton Dave Cameron, Theresa May, and her wellies and Godzilla Carmichael, Willie “tremble Putin” and Pinocchio Clegg  all bigging themselves up, so that we can bask in their reflected glory… or health, welfare, decency, education, dignity in old age… 

It's kept me looking smooth and it all comes from
your lovely country

But, to add to the excitement of these biggish hitters (you have to read the Dug’s piece to find out who they are), today the biggest hitter (is that the right spelling) of them all arrives in Scotland.

In their infinite wisdom, and with their usual grasp of the general feelings of the nation’s “ordinary” citizenry (although technically within the UK Scots are “subjects” not “citizens”), the people at BT, who brought you such epics as Gordon Brown, Alistair Carmichael, Iain Duncan Smith, Philip Hammond,  and Dandy Alexander, have decided that what the No Campaign needs gravitas. And who is more like the grave, fresh from his encounter with Pedro the Jellyfish, than ETON DAVE. 

That was a tad selfish, wasn't it?

That’s right. Taking time out from sleeping in the President’s bed on Airforce one, and presumably based on the recently released opinion polls showing that he is on course for a win the next general election in the UK, along with Nigel Farage, Dave has been persuaded that it is in the best interests of the greatest union in the history of the universe, for him to get REALLY involved… to actually stay in our country overnight (and not either at Balmoral, or on his father-in-law’s Islay shooting  estate!).

The pressure this time is on him to be seen with ordinary people. Previously he has flown in for the day and spent time on a nuclear submarine, a boardroom and an oil rig… Unfortunately they do not consider Alex Salmond to be an “ordinary” person, so he won’t be doing any debating!

Hm, Dave. Just a wee tip.
We don't actually speak like that in this country

But with the new Nob Orders priority being “unpolished” people, we can expect to see the prime minister in the real Scotland amid our rough cut diamonds, where doubtless he will be given the rousing welcome that he deserves.

 

My names Jock McJock the Coo.
I'm the welcoming committee.
They said you didn't want to lock horns with Mr Salmond
So I'm the soft option...
My friend Pedro said you tasted of fois gras
I've never had fois gras...

Oh how Blair Jenkins and Dennis Canavan must be rubbing their hands with glee.

NOB ORDERS ADVERTISING BY THE GOONS

The series of photograph ads placed in the Scottish press by the London "grassroots" Tory millionaires' organisation, Nob Orders, where their subjects are described as "unpolished" is one of the most patronising pieces of political advertising I've ever seen. (You can see the posters here on Wings).

I remember thinking that U Kok couldn't get much more sickening than the ridiculous video they presented at the beginning of the campaign... You remember, the one where people said they were Scottish because they went to Burns' Suppers or liked the Proclaimers, knew Scottish poetry, or explained that in Scotland a sausage roll was quite different from a sausage roll anywhere else and how they liked wee dugs. 

Well, I was wrong. This is worse. 

The people who were used (and I chose that word on purpose) in the ads may very well believe what they have said (although if the history teacher is for real I'm glad she is nowhere any kids of mine), but the unpolished quotes make them sound somewhere between slightly silly and plain thick.  I mean no criticism of them. I'm sure they are all perfectly nice people and actually I felt sorry for them. If I'd been asked to take part in a poster campaign for Yes (fat chance) and I ended up being patronised like that, I'd have been furious.

..."Tris wants independence because, although he likes the Lake District and travels to see English Rose, Petula Clark, in concert when she is in Downtown Bradford, he still likes to see a tartan tea cosy  on his tea pot"... next to a photograph of me taken after a night on the tiles...

It seems that they have tried to be the opposite of slick. Not for them the advertisers' staple fare of young, fit, healthy, pretty people looking like boy band singers or models, saying smart things put into their mouths by advertising executives... 

And, good for them on that score, because you can have too much of David Beckham in his underwear, or Joanna Lumley looking sexy and talking in that ever so proper RP accent (OK, you can't have too much of that!) ...but you can go too far in the opposite direction. 

(A politically incorrect friend of mine looking at the series of posters asked... Are there no good looking people in Scotland then? OK that's harsh, but it was said without malice and was just the immediate thought the posters inspired! My response to that is that indeed there are, but they are all on the yes side!!)

The real parody (above), isn't that much worse than the first poster I saw. Frankly it seems to me that this is an English view of what thrawn Scots should look and sound like. 

I seriously don't think anyone is going to want to identify with them. I'm just embarrassed for them.

LABOUR APPEARS TO CONCEDE NEXT ELECTION IN ROYAL COLLEGE OF NURSING DEBATE

In a debate run by the Royal College of Nursing, with  Dr Ian McKee (former SNP MSP) for YES Neil Findlay MSP (Labour's Shadow Cabinet Secretary for Health and Wellbeing representing the NO side, Dr McKee pointed out that a Yes vote was NOT a vote for Alex Salmond nor was it a vote for the SNP. 

Fair enough. It's what we have all been saying. In 2016, in an independent country, we will chose for the first time, who taxes us, who runs our foreign policy, who takes care of defence and who pays our pensions, as well as running the domestic agenda. it may be Labour; it may be the SNP; it may be a coalition... indeed with the matter of independence out of the way, it could even be a coalition of labour and the SNP!

However, in his response Neil Findlay said that a Yes vote was a vote for the

SNP, as they would most likely win the 2016 Scottish Parliament election.

Amazing to find that a shadow cabinet member has conceded defeat, not at the count, not on the day of the election, not even during the campaign, but a total of two years before the vote takes place.

How dismayed with the leadership, the potential leadership, and the policies, must you be to have given up THAT far in advance, especially since, by the time the election comes along, the SNP will have been in government for 9 years?

CONTRASTING THE CAMPAIGNS... AND FUNDRAISING FOR A YES BLOG

I really thought that this was an inspiring video.  Such a diverse group of people, all with one purpose. It really cheered me.

**********

Over at one of my favourite blogs, Scot Goes Pop, James Kelly is looking to raise some money to help him continue to provide an invaluable service of dissecting the results of opinion polls... It's something for which I am incredibly grateful, as polling, and statistics, weighting,  and all that mathematical stuff is well beyond my limited intellectual powers. Of course SGP also posts on other matters, including some hilarious put downs of pomposity...as well as predicting the outcome of the Eurovision Song Contest (or not, as the case may be!). 

James has always been extremely supportive of Munguin's Republic and I'm delighted to see that the fund raising (for a modest £2,500) is going well. When we looked this morning it was standing at around £430, it is now at an impressive £1,687!

I know times are hard, but if anyone has a few groats to spare, there are worse ways of spending them...
**********
I was pleased to see that the Sunday Herald's declaration for 'yes' did them no harm at all in the sales stakes. Today's copy reports that last Sunday they sold 35,500 copies, up around 50% if my memory serves me well. They had 75,000 website hits, 2000+ retweets, and 4,600 members on a Facebook page...

I wonder what the Scotland on Sunday sales are looking like...
**********

SNAPS FOR SUNDAY

Queue Cilla Black: "Surprise Surprise"

Bet the CBI wishes they had that many members

Easy, huh?

Yes, well, erm... Britain has always had a strange way of looking at things.
"Broad shoulders Gunner Parkins, Show 'em off boy!"

I'd believe you... It's always been about money.

Ahhh now, pay attention Nobs. This is what a
 Grass Roots campaign looks like!

Must have been a big news day... The BBC never found time to report that.
Odd!

Unlike the UK, which does not.

Oh, more good financial news for Scotland.
How odd. The BBC hasn't mentioned any of this.

Seems logical, Iain.

NO no no, never mind that Swedish blokey.
Thing of the money.

That is the million dollar question.

Well, nothing that makes any sense.
But, if in doubt, you can always say "clout" 1000 times.

There's a man with Scotland's his own interests at heart.

Dave chilling with the kids, like he was just an ordinary millionaire

Get stuck into them, Iain

Statement from Gary Wilson, ex strategist with Better Together.
Welcome aboard, Gary.

Well, be honest, how often will you use it?
When people ask, how will you afford ... whatever
We can always remind them that when we don't have to help
 pay for railways and sewers, wars and nuclear weapons, the House of Commons,
Lords and Windsor, embassies in places no-one has heard of
and punching above our weight , we'll be able to pay for a lot of things
 that most other western nations take for granted.

Spare me from the thought of this one getting emotional.

Lidl's hens have it...

Unlike everyone else, they will have a transitional period
so they  can still get their pensions early.
Thank goodness, the poor wee lambs, I hear you say.

Oooooops... I dunno, these Grass Roots organisations, huh!

He could send that along to debate with Eck.

Give Anas his due, apparently he knew he was doing this,
and did it with good grace.

Welcome back to a Scottish pub mr Farage...
Anyone elver seen this man sober?

Don't let Niko see that. He's a right stickler for spelling.

And, just to chill out with....

Pretty in Purple

Striking steps...