Tuesday 23 August 2011


We stay in the islands and highlands for tonight's tale of woe.

When The Rt Hon. Sir Sebastian, the Baron Coe of Ranmore in the County of Surry, MBE, OBE , KBE, PC, announced that the Olympic torch would be travelling all over these islands in the run up to London's Olympic Games, he pointed out that that would make all of us (who are paying for these games, but getting nothing back from them) feel a part of them...involved as it were.

People were asked to nominate friends, colleagues or neighbours who had given service to the community in some way, to carry the torch as it processed around the country. This is a big deal. They need some 8000 people for what Seb calls a 70-day journey of celebration, during which the flame will come within one hour's travelling time of 95% of the people in the UK. WOW. Did you ever? How exciting. Woop de Do.

Well, it seems that, in the highlands, no one is very excited about the torch or about carrying it. Only 3 people have been nominated for the "honour". Now, the good people of Inverness reckon that they will need around 120 people to carry it in relay around the city... you can only imagine how many will be needed for the highlands.

Poor old Seb... he'll obviously just need to get his running gear back on and carry it himself.

PS... I think the torch comes within about 3 minutes on foot from where I live, and I still won't see it.

PPS... Baron Coe of RANMORE... is that a joke?



  1. Danny Alexander could carry it as he's not much use for anything else.

  2. If you look on eureferendum,
    you will see that Cornwall is recruiting a special, temporary official to start almost at once organise the carrying of the Olympic torch through that fair county.

    Surely the local Amateur Athletic Association would be able to organise that for free as a real "Big Society" thing?

    Or is it, as I suspect, that many, if not most people may be bored out of their skulls at the very thought of the Olympic Games and all the hype?

    When I last took a London taxi, the driver told me that he and his pals would be taking their holidays at the time because the traffic arrangements with their Soviet-style Zil lanes will cause chaos beyond imagination.

  3. How hilarious...it seems that the Olympics are not lighting a flame in Scotland. Those three are gonna have a lot of miles to do each, the Highlands are a big place.

  4. Ha ha ha ... CH, and Michael Moore too. Waste of space.

  5. Evening Mr S. Nice to see you again.

    I heard that but I didn't know it was the Celtic Duchy.

    Well, I guess they aren't particularly interested in a 'Big Society' there since this bunch of amateurs decided that Devonwall was a goer and Cornish society was worth squat!.

    But I expect that any amount of money will be spent all around the various countries so that this event will be a HUGE success. The best in the world ever. I heard that the torch will go to the Isle of Man and Jersey and Guernsey too. I wonder what their governments are contributing.

    Highly amusing news about the taxi drivers in London. I couldn't believe it when I heard about the lanes for VIPs...ah, I thought, the Tories are going overboard on this one. Even Tony Blair didn't think to make special lanes for VIPs. Not only are most of the tickets going to corporate sponsors, but they will be allowed to use roads that the rest of London paid for, but for a months or two won't be allowed to use.

    I wonder when they will start getting the beggars and drug addicts off the street, and away to places where tourists won't see them, just like the Chinese did.

    What has the place come to?

  6. I'm quite looking forward to our Games, Munguin. And there are bits of the Olympics that are good, but the whole thing has become a joke. Cities compete more than the athletes do. I wonder what the original Greeks would have thought of this commercial fest.

    Why would anyone in Scotland get excited about it? It was almost impossible to get tickets; it is horrendous to get to London on the old rattly train line and when you get there, especially during the Olympics, the prices for everything will be sky high... I wouldn't like to have to book an hotel room for a few weeks in the middle of all this.

    And the way they allocate the tickets, you might have to stay 3 weeks!!!!

    I feel sorry for poor Londoners on low wages. It will be hell for them.

  7. Up here we will be carrying the Crann Tara - in English, the Fiery Cross - a gathering flame formally used on occasion of insult or impending danger, to summon the clans to arms. This is necessary in view of your previous post regarding insulting the islands.

    Word of warning: Don't let Mike Watson carry the "flame" in Dundee!

  8. Sir Ming is a former Olympian. He could do the stage past RAF Leuchars. Mind you no one will see the torch as they will all be in Lossie.

  9. Oh that's cool John, a call to arms for the clans. I'd not like to be a London rioter faced with that lot...

    And you could leave the Olympic torch in a field somewhere... Maybe someone could use it over winter to keep warm.

    Crann Tara! Does Gaelic put the adjective after the noun... Cross Fiery?

  10. What a good idea, Monty. I'm not sure that he'd be able to find it though.

  11. LOL, John. We'll be pretty safe with his Lordship. I sure he's always to be found in England there days, "earning" his £300 a day for not doing anything.

    I wonder if they ever refuse him drink in the Lords' bars? I bet if they do they make sure he hasn't got access to either matches or curtains!

    Anyone fancy putting my name forward for £300 a day.... no, sorry, I mean for a Lord-hood. I need a platform to contribute to my country, OK, I need the money.

  12. tris,

    I hope nobody goes near Salmond with the torch in case some-one says "Flaming 'ecK"! Okay, I'll get me coat!

    Have heard nothing from my beloved Sophia? How's your lovely Mum?

  13. Boom Boom!

    Don't let the door hit you.... blah, blah...

    Nope, I've heard nothing from Sophia either. I think we may have to go over to her place and find out what ails her... She may have found another man!!!!

    And my lovely mum is lovely. Doubtless when i see her tomorrow, she will be asking after your health and welfare... (and she'll be chuffed you asked)

    Have a great evening, John, up in your island paradise, without electricity and television.. and good English food (wot's that then) and try to work on your stand up. It needs some attention, doncha think?!!?


  14. The football stadium was to be given to West Ham for a small remuneration but that has successfully been challenged by Tottenham and Leighton Orient. Oh and Labour never learn!

  15. Once and thieving cow (that got away with it), always a thieving cow.

    What's this about a football stadium?

  16. Muchas gracias CH...