THE HIGHLANDS AND ISLANDS ARE NOT CARRYING ANY TORCH FOR SEB

We stay in the islands and highlands for tonight's tale of woe.

When The Rt Hon. Sir Sebastian, the Baron Coe of Ranmore in the County of Surry, MBE, OBE , KBE, PC, announced that the Olympic torch would be travelling all over these islands in the run up to London's Olympic Games, he pointed out that that would make all of us (who are paying for these games, but getting nothing back from them) feel a part of them...involved as it were.

People were asked to nominate friends, colleagues or neighbours who had given service to the community in some way, to carry the torch as it processed around the country. This is a big deal. They need some 8000 people for what Seb calls a 70-day journey of celebration, during which the flame will come within one hour's travelling time of 95% of the people in the UK. WOW. Did you ever? How exciting. Woop de Do.

Well, it seems that, in the highlands, no one is very excited about the torch or about carrying it. Only 3 people have been nominated for the "honour". Now, the good people of Inverness reckon that they will need around 120 people to carry it in relay around the city... you can only imagine how many will be needed for the highlands.

Poor old Seb... he'll obviously just need to get his running gear back on and carry it himself.

Even Alex Salmond has tried to stir up interest in the flame saying that the Scottish leg of the Olympic Torch relay will highlight the best of Scotland, our iconic landscapes, vibrant culture (except in the islands where it seems there is none, along with electricity and decent English food) and, most of all, our warm and welcoming people, to the rest of the world. He went on to urge people across Scotland to nominate potential torch bearers.

Oh well Eck, you can't win them all!!

PS... I think the torch comes within about 3 minutes on foot from where I live, and I still won't see it.

PPS... Baron Coe of RANMORE... is that a joke?

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SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS....

I heard the other day on the Today programme that, on the American TV station Fox News, despite the recent shooting of Gabrielle Giffords in Tucson, Arizona, and the plea from thinking people all over America for a bit of common sense in the kind of rhetoric they use in discussing politics, Glenn Becks indicated that he would like to put a gun to the heads of his political opponents. Nice grown up politics, Mr Beck. Why on earth does Mr Murdoch employ dorks like this?

Talking of Mr Murdoch, nice move from Mrs Karen Murphy, landlady of the Red, White and Blue pub in Portsmouth, England. Although I don’t care much for the pub name, I love the fact that she managed to get her premier league football from Nova instead of BSkyB, at a faction of the price, and that when the league tried to stop her, she took them to the European Court in Luxembourg. It looks like she’s going to win. Well done her... and up yours Murdoch.

Still talking of Mr Murdoch, more evidence is emerging that Andy Coulson knew all about the phone tapping. Paul McMullan sat at the next desk to Coulson, and to quote him: "As he sat a few feet from me in the newsroom he probably heard me doing it, laughing about it, etc., and told others to do it." Mr McMullan gave written evidence to the Home Affairs Select Committee.

Foot in mouth Clegg has said that the middle classes will hardly notice the tax increases... I suppose he means middle class as in him and David and Gideon ... and for that matter Ed and Ed and ...Alex, Annabel, etc. I sure as hell am noticing them. He really is a pratt. Does anyone know anyone who actually likes this bloke?

Poor old Devine Jim. It seems that his defence was that he was advised by two other MPs to steal the money that he is currently in the dock for defrauding the tax payer of. They both deny it, of course, and one of them, Tom Watson, pointed out that he was a minister and Devine was a backbencher so they would have been unlikely to see much of each other and NEVER socially. “The working class can kiss my arse, I’ve got the foreman’s job at last!” Huh, Mr Watson... erm Minister Watson... oh no, EX-minister Watson. Nob!

It’s rare that I would have anything good to say about Sarah Fergusson but she made a programme exposing the maltreatment of children in orphanages in Turkey, which caused a diplomatic incident. According to Wikileaks, David Miliband (who was no stranger to upsetting foreigners himself), was obliged to grovel when the Turks complained. He admitted that they could not control her. Fair doos. When she was chucked out of the royal family because she had made a fool of herself, the government lost control over her. They should have thought about that. After all they didn’t chuck Andy out of it, and heaven knows he’s made a fool of himself often enough.

America has agreed with Russia to give it details of Britain’s trident missiles as part of their new arms control deal. New Wikileaks show that the US spied on a FCO minister’s private life. Ivan Lewis was reported to be a bully, sexual predator and possible depressive. It does seem that, at least under President Obama, the pretence of a “special relationship” has been abandoned. It was reported that the president found Gordon Brown depressing (who wouldn’t), and it is rumoured the Americans find David Cameron and George Osborne, lightweight (who wouldn’t).

And finally, quote of the week: “If I go, there will be chaos” President Mubarak!

Well duh, Hosni.

Pics: Do I need an excuse for putting up a pic of George. Nah, and I know it keeps Pap happy too. This will just remind you that he’s out to get your money. Murdoch is a scary looking character whatever he’s up to. I thought about putting up one of him smiling, but then I thought: No...You’ve done nothing to me. Jim... or Purple Coupon as I like to call him. Sarah, Duchess of Pork, no worse than her odious ex-husband. President Obama, saying his prayers slightly squinty “Please God, keep that boring sod Brown away from me”.

BRITON EXECUTED IN CHINA DESPITE PERSONAL INTERVENTION OF GORDON BROWN

According to The Times, China’s Ambassador in London, Fu Ying, was summoned to the Foreign and Commonwealth Office today to hear Britain’s “strong condemnation” of her country’s execution of Akmal Shaikh.

Mr Shaikh, a convicted British drug smuggler who is believed to have suffered from bipolar disorder, was killed by lethal injection early today, despite the personal intervention of Gordon Brown in a telephone call to Wen Jiabao, the Chinese Premier.

I’m not a supporter of the Death Penalty anywhere at any time. Not that I don’t think that some people don’t deserve to die for what they have done but because when the courts get it wrong, and they do all over the world, it's too late. So whether in China or Texas it doesn’t get my vote.

On the other hand, if you’re going to do a crime abroad, it might be sensible to check up what the penalty is likely to be. Just because you’d only get 5 years in the pokey here, does not mean that that is what you will get abroad. Where the death penalty exists, it exists. Because you are British it doesn’t mean you should expect to avoid it despite Prime Ministerial pleas.

A junior minister Ivan Lewis saw the Ambassador and told her that the execution of Mr Shaikh was totally unacceptable and that China had failed in its basic human rights responsibilities in this case, in particular that China’s court had not considered the representations made about Mr Shaikh’s bipolar condition which is treated by medication. Mr Lewis who said it (the execution) made him “sick to the stomach” neglected at this point to mention the extradition of Gary McKinnon, another person with mental health issues, to the USA, which the same FCO could halt but won’t.

In reply the Chinese Foreign Ministry said: “No one has the right to comment on China’s judicial sovereignty. It is the common wish of people around the world to strike against the crime of drug trafficking. We express our strong dissatisfaction and opposition to the British Government’s unreasonable criticism of the case. We urge the British to correct their mistake in order to avoid harming China-UK relations.”

I suggest that only the first part of that statement was unreasonable and totally incorrect. We must have every right to comment on the way that China dealt with this situation.