Saturday 9 April 2011


Poor old Iain Gray. He might have anticipated that the nice people from Citizens United Against Public Sector Cuts, who had hijacked Annabel and Tavish, would also want to ask how Labour were going to deal with London's Tory cuts.

Obviously, however, that didn't occur to the Labour Party machine. So poor old Gray turned up without a crib sheet.

With no answers to offer them, he took flight and hid in a Subway... the restaurant, not the metro. But they followed him. (If I'd been eating in that restaurant I'd have asked for my money back. The cabaret was bouffing [Scottish word for awful]).

Someone managed to get a black cab and get them out and away...

Later, despite having been described by witnesses of the run-in as looking shaken, Gray laughed it off. On no, said he, it didn't bother him. He'd worked in Mozambique during a civil war, walked the killing fields of Cambodia, arrived in Chile just after Pinochet 'demitted' office (he likes posh words does our Iain), and he'd been in Rwanda just after the genocide.

Maybe upon reflection he will consider that comparing, in any way, the Rwandan genocide with facing nine protesters, who potentially were on his side, in Glasgow, with minders and police present, a little on the insensitive side.

Here we have it a potential First Minister whose plan of action is to fold his tent and run for the cover of a sandwich shop.

Don't sleep in the Subway Iain, as Petula might be persuaded to sing!


  1. tris

    wonder how much the snp paid them for attacking Iain Gray I mean in an Independent Scotland the snp would probably authorise his whacking

    stll seeing you Nats cheering on an attempted lynching of a Politician will give the voters of Scotland an taste of the future under snp misrule

  2. I suppose we had to fork out for their taxi. Wonder what the receipt will say. Taxi required as proles getting uppity and asking awkward questions.
    I'm not too impressed with Elmer's claims to have walked the Killing Fields. I don't think it counts if the killing stopped in 1979 when he was at Uni.
    Ditto Chile and Rwanda. You only get the medal if you went there when things were kicking off.
    I'm surprised he hasn't claimed to have liberated Port Stanley or wacked a few Iwaqis. And topped a few talibanis.

  3. Mr Mystic

    After 5th May you will have nothing to "Whack"

  4. I read he was Campaign Manager for Oxfam somewhere and also picked this from same source.

  5. Tris.

    Never at any time did Iain Grey think his safety was in danger, it was all to do with his credibility being scrutinised by a bunch of pensioners. What a PR disaster for the man, I mean running into a Subway shop lol.

    The man is a clown!

  6. Mr wonky alphabet.

    I paid them 50p each to sabotage his visit to Central Station. For a few pence more I could had got his head on a pole and stuck it at the bottom of Buchanan street and watched the Grey man stare out his tall green menace at the top of Buchanan street. So at one end we have the de facto father of the nation gawking down on the head of Elmer Fudd and Elmer Fudd gawking back up at poor old Donald with a traffic cone stuck on his head.

    It seems a daft thing I have written but wouldn't look out of place on your blog lol.

  7. Allan

    you can have a guest post for that and that and that

  8. Mr confused letters.

    Are you suggesting that I take my stupidity to a new low?

  9. Goodness Niko, there were 9 people; they looked middle aged... He was travelling with minders including the entirely scary Maggie Curren.

    All they would have needed to do was set her on them... They'd have scarpered double plus quick.

    In any case Niko, the people were (now watch my lips) PREOTESTING AGAINST THE TORY... that will be TORY ...CUTS.

    That means that they were really on YOUR side.

    Jeez, what would he do if it was someone who was against LABOUR policies?

  10. Yes Hoon Spots...

    I mean just going to a place doesn't necessarily mean that you have experienced the worst time it ever had.

    I've been to Bannockburn, and I wasn't scared...

    I thought it was a bit thick, him suggesting that being questioned by a few grey haired people in Glasgow Central station in the middle of the day, with police presence, was just slightly less frightening that Cambodia's killing fields.

    He's just insulted another load of people to add to the Icelanders, Irish, Norwegians and Montenegrins, hasn't he?

    If he’d just not bottled it he could have answered the questions. Even I wouldn’t need a crib sheet to do that. Just like this......

    “Yes, I know there are cuts coming from London and I can’t promise that something won’t have to go...especially if we build this GARL thing”

    “Well, it’s not our fault, it’s the Tories and the Liberals, as you know. They have announced the cuts. I can’t do anything about them!

    “What do you mean ‘why’? Obviously because Scotland is only a part of the UK and I wouldn’t have any power to raise real taxes or borrow money to’s the lovely LONDON government that does that. I’m sorry; you’ll have to speak to the Tories about that.”

    “Well, I know you didn’t vote Tory. And i know i said that you had to vote Labour to keep the Tories out.”

    “No, it wasn’t exactly a lie. It just didn’t work because there are a lot more of them than there are of us.”

    “Well, obviously if we weren’t tied to England we’d be able to do....oooooops, what am I saying?”

  11. Ahhhh CH.... so the implication of that is that Augusto voluntarily left office, which is stretching the truth a little. He allowed a vote on whether he should be given another 8 year period in power... He didn't volutarily stand down, he was chucked out by the people.

    And yeah... I don't know exactly what our Iain did with Oxfam, but I get the impression he wasn't actually on the front.

  12. LOL Allan...great post. 50p each... lord, you musta come into money.

  13. You say they had ambushed Annabel and Tavish. They have ambushed Annabel twice and now Iain Gray but not Tavish or Alex.

  14. Looked for a suitable 'Run Rabbit Run Rabbit Run Ru' video to no avail but came across this.

  15. Tris.

    Yes I found a few quid down the back of the sofa and put it to good use lol.

  16. Andrew.

    They did ambush Tavish.

  17. Its a terrible thing when you don't have your dumb dumb card to hand! But they got that sorted out later when he off the cuffed about the killing fields again and again and again-how obvious!

  18. Andrew: Thanks for the correction. I read somewhere (but I can't remember where, I think it was the BBC!*&^%$£"!), that Tavish had had the pleasure.

    Anyway, if I'm wrong about that, I'm sorry!!!:)

    PS... thanks for dropping in... nice to see you!

  19. Oh well CH... even if you couldn't get the rabbit song, that was a bit of a laugh...

    Anyone else dreading the wedding...

    I intend dedicating the whole holiday to blogging on every aspect in detail....

    Yeah right.

  20. What could be a more appropriate use for the settee money Allan...?

  21. Allan... brilliant! rflol!!

  22. Munguin: Yeah, he's really proud of his killing fields experience. Maybe he's related to Pol Pot... or maybe it was Stew Pot...


    Well... I'll leave that to your imagination.

  23. Tris

    I have been to Pearl Harbour where I was surrounded by Japs pointing Canons at me (a few Kodaks as well)

    I just hummed the theme tune from Braveheart and that got me through it.

    Does this make me first minister material?

    Can we have "Dubbieside for heroic leadership" on the ballot paper?

  24. LOL Dubs... I guess it does. Go back to your garden and prepare for leadership, to adopt, adapt and improve the words of another great puddi... erm I mean leader.

    I've been to Skegness and a hoarde of Englishmen pointed bottles at their mouths and then fell over.... What does that say about my chances?

  25. I personally think it was a disgrace when Iain Grey came out with his Rambo episodes abroad.
    He almost came out with it again when he was on the leaders get together on BBC1 today when making reference to the fact that Alex Salmond has been around for decades while he was away doing other things.

  26. Bless him Allan, the wee fool. He was fighting Pol Pot, Augusto Pinochet, the Interahamwe and REMANO, all at once probably. Fearlessly he went where no man had been before.

    Jeez, he's lucky he was able to go to Africa, South America and Asia, while most of his associates were lucky to get a two week break in Benidorm.

    Yes, Alex has been around for decades, gaining political experience while Iain Gray was gaining international experience. This clearly stood him in good stead when it came to making comments on Iceland, Norway, Ireland and Montenegro.

    He's about as much use as an underwater hairdryer and would be a complete disaster as first minister.

    Incidentally, has he learned nothing from his backing of the Edinburgh trams? The costs of GARL are high now; lord only knows how much they will be by the time they get round to doing it. And where is the money coming from?

    Will Mr Cameron give him more? Or is he taking it from pensioners’ travel and children’s play parks?

  27. This guy Iain Gray worries me:

    We both went to the same school.
    Both have the same name in Gaelic.
    Both have surnames involving colours.
    Both support Hibs and can't stand Hearts supporters except Lord George.
    Both smoke.
    Both been to scary places - Iain to Cambodia, me to Stornoway on a Saturday night.
    Both involved in the Labour party.
    Both previously 'involved' with female Labour politicians.
    Both been involved with voluntary organisations.
    Both used a subway - me from Green Park to Oxford circus.
    Both make silly statements - me after a few Taliskers.
    Will both be heading for obscurity for a while - me in a couple of weeks, Iain after 5th May.
    Both consider Niko a chum.

    I reluctantly reach the conclusion, therefore, that, in reality, I am Iain Gray.

  28. Ahhh John,

    It seems, having given a considerable amount of thought to the situation, that you may be right.

    Before I confirm your suspicious, I'd like to just ask, do you have a pointy finger, a sensible hair cut, and an inability to ask or answer any question that has not been prepared for you, and written down in crib sheet form?

    Do you look in the mirror in the morning and see Elmer Fudd looking back at you, and would it be entirely unreasonable if a bloke called James Kelly named you "the snarl"?

    If the answer to all these questions is yes, then I regret to inform you that you ARE Iain Gray; if you can say a definitive NO to any one of them, you may yet be safe and should immediately proceed to one of our excellent (and still free, thanks to Nicola Sturgeon’s excellent management) NHS centres where psychological help will be made available to you.

    Even if you are Iain Gray, this will not debar you from commenting here: of course no one will read what you say on the basis that it not be original thought, but will have originated from some spin doctor, or worse still Gordo or Alice or Ed....

    I wish you good luck Iai... I mean John.

  29. tris,

    I'll consult London HQ and get back to you.

    Love, Iain xx

  30. Jian,

    Please do so, but beofre May 5, otehrwise you may disappear altogether.

    Love Tris (if you're John)

    Yours sincerely Tristan (if you're Iain)

  31. tris,

    London HQ have replied "Who the feck are you" so I must be Iain Gray.

    Actually, seriously, I'm beginning to feel a bit sorry for him as he's obviously been promoted above his ability. His "team" have no eye-catching policies, his speech-writer(s) is crap and he is being badly advised. Watching him making a speech is quite painful and I can only imagine that his position as an MSP is down to the "My faither voted Labour" principle.

  32. Incidentally, he was at the Academy years before me - obviously!

  33. Yeah, I guess that settles it, John...I mean Iain.

    Well, I can't say that I feel sorry for him.

    You’re clearly a more humane guy than I am. I think the fool deserves all he is getting. He is standing on a ticket which, although I note they don’t announce it as “Iain Gray for First Minister” for fear of putting even staunch Labour voters off, is just that.

    Our country is in a mess; we’ve little money; our infrastructure is falling to pieces, and it’s only because of clever financial management that we are able to look over the border and be grateful we are not English.

    This twat (no offence John/Iain) comes along with his rag tag band of amateurs and wants to be the first minister, when he isn’t capable of facing off 9 middle aged people with banners without taking a run for it.

    Nah, he must have known he wasn’t up to the job. He should have resigned last year and given whomever a chance to bed in. The question of course is, who? but that would be their problem, even if it meant having someone else stand in a safe seat so that THEY could take over.

    Nope, I don’t feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for us, because despite his shortcomings, there’s a fair chance he’ll win. And with an idiot like him in charge of our domestic affairs and an idiot like Cameron and his cry baby mate in charge of our external affairs, we might as well be Somalian.

    PS... I thought maybe he was your physics teacher...

  34. Tris.

    Nicely written and in Edinburgh the SNP are making sure that the disastrous Trams fiasco is being shunted right at the foot of Iain Grey.