Wednesday, 4 June 2014

RANDOM THOUGHTS...

...in which Lamont can't remember her name, or Eck's but does recall how much she hates him, Ed Milly gives us all a V sign,  Maggie and Anas's smile gets stuck on their faces as the wind changes, Dave and Ed are over the hill Danny Alexander is found to be the sorcerer's apprentice... and the Orange Order organise a dance in a pen (funny lot)...
Would you just look at these two...?
Well Jo, that's all you appear to say. If someone asked you directions to
Waverley Station you'd manage to get in something negative about AS.
You tell the English, dear. Just try to remember that in the days of internet
there's a relatively good chance that we'll hear about it too.
Nothing nasty or evil about that, is there?
Beezer: You have to love the " cymbals", and they appear
to be having some sort of Pen Dance. Something in happening
 'In de pen dance'. Weird.
But hey, I'm cheered that we will be losing their queen if
Alex Salmond gets in de pen dance. If he gets back out of it,
will we get their queen back?
And what's all this about no more parades?
Serious stuff. Looks like the future is not Orange!
We certainly are, Davie boy.  Stab stab!
Fancy the Tories being dishonest.
Surely some mistake.

As George Bush very nearly managed to say: Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Sometimes you forget that the Liberals exist.
Then, like a bad dream, you realise that Danny Alexander is still around
Still he's not really a Liberal, is he. More GIdiot's batman.
Erm.... Northern Ireland anyone?
Better than your usual efforts Dave. The words
you are looking for are "Yes Frau Merkel, Ma'am".
Oh, let's get the Jelly Fish. He's much more interesting.

There'll be a blue Rolls over
The white cliffs of Dover
Tomorrow (push lads)
Then we will be free.

ANOTHER COSTLY PANTOMIME IN LONDON PARTLY PAID FOR BY US

Every year Elizabeth Queen of Scots and various other places, has the demeaning job of reading out the words of such literary luminaries as Dave Big Society Cameron, the posh boy; Gordon Moral Compass Nokia Broon, the clunking mobile; Pope Tony Blair I, the war criminal; John Egg Woman Underpants Major, the bore, and Margaret WE have become a Grandmother Thatcher, the loonie.

It is a ridiculous job for someone of 87 and should be delegated to a kitchen maid or under gardener at Buck House or anyone who can read.

The script is so leaden that even Larry Olivier would have had a job to put any life into it. Given that speaking has never been the Queens forté I found myself thinking that maybe they could offer the gig to Sandi Toksvig next year. She's every bit as posh and a lot more animated. Not sure she'd like the costume though!

It is ridiculous in the 21st century that the head of state be wheeled out to perform this preposterous  duty, which should, by democratic right, have absolutely nothing to do with her.

And at what cost?

I'm sure that it would be impossible to get a proper costing for today's meaningless event. They would cite security as the reason, but it must have cost tens of millions. They will say that it is great for tourism. Aye well, that's as maybe, but I'm not noticing any more tourists in Clachnacuddin, or Ecclefechan. So, I'm all right Jock Boris can celebrate.
The Queen was driven from Buckingham Palace to the palace of Westminster in a new state coach, which was the gift of an Australian. The poor man, one Jim Frecklington, mortgaged his house to pay the bill of $5 million. Nice gift to get for the woman who has everything. Trouble is "everything" includes a fine collection of state coaches. So maybe next time, Jim, you could get her a gift token, but not a Harrod's one. Since they accused her husband of murder she's had to start shopping in Liberty.

The contents of the Speech from the Throne (well it sounds like Cameron wrote it when on the lavatory, so I suppose it is appropriate) was its usual boring self. People complain that there are only 11 bills and that MPs will have an easy year doing next to nothing for their money (like that was something new). In any case they have a lot of "bills" of their own, settees and curtains to be purchased. After all some of them will pretty surely lose their seats, eh Danny, then who will buy their furniture for them?

Personally I think that the less they do, the less mess they are liable to make and I don't give a flying fig if they sit around on their back sides doing nothing all year.

Most of the new legislation will apply only to England, although I suppose Scotland had to pay its share of today's medieval pantomime. But again, that's fine with me. I really don't want that pile of toffs making any laws I have to live by and that they will end up making a good cash profit from.
Since the House of Lords took away Scotland's right to control fracking in the country, I expect the new bill making it legal for companies to frack under your house if they want to is a tad on the worrying side. But there are a lot of MPs and Lords with serious interests in fracking, so it is bound to pass with little fuss and a few greased palms. We just have to cross our fingers for September 18 on that one.

The only excitement of the day occurred when a pageboy fainted as the Queen was speaking, or droning on, about what her cack handed government was going to do. Right wing Tory MP Mark Pritchard gushed that: "The Queen carried on reading without interruption. As ever Her Majesty was the consummate professional." I suppose the oily little sod is aiming for a knighthood or a seat in the lords when his constituents get fed up of him.
In any case, I'd have had a great more time for a woman who as a mother, grandmother and great grandmother, would have shown a little concern for a fellow human being who was taken ill. After all, when the boy fell to the floor it could have been that he had died. 

Think how she could have endeared herself to people had she stopped reading Cameron's crap and shown some concern for the lad.

Kudos to Charles and Mrs Parker Bowles who appeared to have notice and may have even cared a little.

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

YOU'D THINK THAT WITH ALL HIS MONEY HE'D BE ABLE TO AFFORD SOME NEW LIES TO TELL


iScotland would have to "queue up" to join the EU, he said, for some strange reason, while he was campaigning in the Newark by-election in England. They care in Newark?

He also said he was disappointed that Scottish people living in the rest of the UK would not be able to vote in September's independence referendum. Although, as the referendum, by UK law, had to get the permission of the UK government to take place, and was the joint responsibility of the UK and Scottish governments in its range and methodology, it seems strange to bring this up now and not before the Edinburgh Agreement was signed. Of course it would have been almost impossible to ascertain who would have been eligible to vote, and that is why it was not seriously considered. But people like Cameron never let the truth get in the way of creating bitterness when it suits their own political ends. 

He said: "If Scotland vote for independence they are no longer members of the EU and it's become clearer and clearer since this campaign started that they would have to reapply to join the EU and as such, as an independent country, they would have to queue up as it were behind other countries - for instance those in the western Balkans that are already on the path towards membership”.

Well that’s, at best, conjecture, and at worst, lies. He must be the only person in the world who seriously believes that an expansionist organisation like the EU would disfranchise Scottish citizens, take away their passports, driving licences, and all their rights as European citizens, at the same time as removing all the rights a privileges of other EU states’ citizens to live, study, work in Scotland, and put them on hold so that countries like Montenegro and Macedonia could take precedence over them.

The scenario is too ridiculous to imagine. All EU students at Scottish Universities would immediately be obliged to either return home in the middle of their courses, or to pay steep fees for the rest of their education. All fishing in Scottish waters would stop; all projects being funded by the EU would immediately have no cash; Scottish people living overseas would become aliens in their new countries, as would all the Europeans working here. And for what?

 Scotland, as a current member of the UK, and therefore the EU, meets all the criteria of being a member of the EU. Why would they queue behind countries which are working to bring their finances, human right, etc, etc, into line with Europe, possibly taking decades to do so?

No one is suggesting it would be an overnight rubber stamping. A new country would most likely have to negotiate terms, and no one really expects that any of the opt outs, or penalties for these opt outs, currently enjoyed or paid by the UK would necessarily continue. But most intelligent and educated estimates are that, within a period of 18 months, these issues could easily be resolved. East German territories and citizens, after all, became a member overnight when accepted into reunified Germany.

On the other hand, when Greenland obtained the power from Denmark to make its own decisions on these matters, and decided to withdraw from the EU, it took it 2 years for the EU to reluctantly let it go.

Of course Mr Cameron could have sorted this uncertainty long ago. It is in his hands to ask the EU for a judgement on Scotland’s position. Mr Salmond has asked him to do this. He has refused. He prefers to be able to play on fear. That is the kind of Prime Minister that Scotland has. One who appears to be at war with the country. In short, an enemy. 


Needless to say Cameron continued with the usual tired old dross about hoping the Scottish people will vote to remain in the United Kingdom because we're a successful family of nations, all bringing something to this United Kingdom.  But I refer you, and him, to the video in a previous Munguin post.

For someone campaigning in an English by-election with absolutely no connection to Scotland he made a great deal of independence. You began to wonder if he hadn’t lost the plot as he rambled on about risks outside the UK. Not being able keep the pound (lie), outside the UK you wouldn't have such a strong economy with so many jobs…(another lie, as the economy in London and Oxford is entirely different from anywhere in Scotland… and the unemployment figures on a country wide basis being better in Scotland than in England). Then there was the ever reliable “banks” tale. The British taxpayer saved the Scottish banks. Except that that’s a lie too. The actual losses from banks (which might have had Scotland in their titles, but are based in, and regulated by London) in Scotland was tiny. The Scottish liability could easily have been paid. The massive losses came in London and in the USA. And the USA liabilities were, by law, paid by the USA government. 

It seems to me that if you have to rely on lies for ALL your arguments, you actually don’t have anything. Cameron must be thanking his lucky stars for a compliant press and a BBC that desperately needs his English Culture Secretary to raise the licence tax.

In conclusion with sickening predictability he said: “I think the UK has been a great success story”.

Tell that to people on the receiving end of Iain Duncan Smith’s Department of Wickedness and Purgatory (DWP). Tell that to all the people forced to live on the lowest comparative minimum wage and the lowest pension in Europe. Tell that to people paying the highest fares for the worst trains in Europe, or the most money for the smallest houses, the most expensive petrol, cars, furniture etc… The list is endless. 

Statements like that remind me of the speech made by the prince of Wales, welcoming some immigrants to England where he said: “I’ve always considered myself extremely privileged to be born British.”   No seriously, he did!

Monday, 2 June 2014

SNAPS ON SUNDAY (ON MONDAY)

OK, it's a day late, so shoot me. Munguin had me on spring cleaning Munguin Towers yesterday... and he's a fussy little furry animal. He had to be able to see his furry face in everything!!
Ah yes, a little embarrassing for a "socialist"!
And now we know why... He was told to by his boss.
Goodness, no wonder you can't wait to offload it to yourselves.
Fortunately there's a way to stop this happening here
But come on. We've always known that in their world
ordinary people's rules don't apply.
Education is the same as Health
They will sell it all off, and we will be left with
no funding for social education
He's as mad as a box of frogs.
Edit: Due to complaints from boxes of frogs
the world over, I withdraw that comparison.
Instead I'd say he's as mad as the Prince of Wales, 
and who cares what he thinks. OK Frogs?
Like you actually thought they would...?
Oh for a socialist... Alan Grogan, where are you?
You'll look cute David, with a handbag, I mean Ed.
And why would they want their constituents to be anything but poor?
No wonder they make such half witted laws.
They must be ratted most of the time.
So why do U Kok people continue to tell us
that pensions would not be paid?
I mean, come on...
Another one of Alistair's (where on earth is he?) little pronouncements.
A bit like "sharing a currency would be the best idea"
Well, until George Osborne told him to say it wouldn't be.
Better together with more foodbanks.
You know, an independent Scotland would't have foodbanks.
Too wee, too poor and far to stupid for that.
Can't deny that.
Freedom from Britain is fine as long as it's not for Scotland.
They are either millionaires or aspiring millionaires.
Seriously... life doesn't have to be the way it is in the Uk.
Maybe if people earned the same as they do in Denmark... 
But they don't...
Our popular broadcaster is having problems with its staff and its customers
The consensus is that the problem is the crap management.
Eh, McQuarrie, you useless  highly paid lump? 
Nice crowd, bigger than your audience for the new
dumbed down politics for muppets show,
you patronising bastards
Ah... that's what's happened!
Well, not a HUGE fan of windmills
But if someone said to me you can have windmills behind
your house, or you can have a coal fired station
no prizes for guessing which I'd choose.
You?
Ah but that's Holland.
A small independent European country.
Of course you would, dear.
Well, thats a problem to ponder.
Talking of God, here we have two of his regular communicants.
He told George to kill hundreds of
 thousands of Brown People, and George,
mistaking himself for god, told Tony.
And because they are close friends of god,
they are going to get away with it.
Of course it is. No one with a brain cell ever thought otherwise.
Eh Danny Alexander, you thick ass.
Even you couldn't make them up, Frankie.
Thanks minister, we hope that too.
Who won?
The Apathy Party.
Now, there's a think to ponder upon.
Classy, right?
That's the way to do it Ukok.
Sensible arguments.
I wonder why the Pope chose that precise place to
stand with the press of the world photographing him?

Sunday, 1 June 2014

BETTER TOGETHER, OR NOT?

So, what were they all about, these annoying ads that got pulled because of complaints from people who went to the cinema to see a film and not a political campaign?

By now you would think that Ukok and Nob Orders would have worked out that the Yes Campaign has plenty of people who will analyse every word they say and pull it to pieces. 

So, if you believe we are Better Together, you'd better have a more intelligent reason than...well, we just are.

Starring....
Rory "Alex Salmond speaks a lot of sense" Elrick with the FM

THIS IS THE STORY OF THE ENGLISH HEALTH SERVICE

If we choose dependence in September our NHS will continue to be, as it has always been, completely independent of and separate from the other systems in the UK. 

However, what happens in the not too distant future may be a little different.

The most likely scenario is that the Conservatives will return to power, possibly in coalition with the few Liberals that remain, possibly with Nigel Farage, and a new leader, (Theresa May or Boris Johnson?); privatisation will continue apace and of course a smaller proportion of money will be spent on NHS England, meaning that a smaller amount will be given to the governments of the Celtic countries to pay for their NHS.

In the event of a Labour government in England controlling the NHS, the Health spokesman, Andy Burnham, has already said that it would be best of health services were uniform across the UK countries. 

Now seriously, given that as a policy, does anyone think that the entire NHS England will be able to, or have a will to, get out of contracts with Virgin and all these American and South African companies who are now buying up the English system? Or would you think it more likely that the small Celtic countries' systems will be obliged to come into line with England's system?

The Scottish government would resist this at all costs, you may say. And that would be true if that Scottish government were guaranteed forever to be run by a centre left party with a belief in universality. But the SNP cannot realistically be in government forever. And certainly not as a majority government in a system which was designed to produce coalitions. 

No other party believe in universality.

A Labour government in Scotland would hardly be likely to refuse to do the bidding of the Labour government in England. Even with a reasonably strong Liberal partner they tended to fold their tents to Tony Blair... With no noticeable Liberal party left in Scotland, what would happen?

Do we want a privatised health service? Do we want homeless people to be excluded from the service? Do we want people with chronic conditions to be marginalised? Do we want the elderly to be left to die without treatment?

We need to think seriously about what the future holds. The vote in September is more than idiotic arguments about barbed wire fences across borders or petty officials making life difficult in the EU or Nato. 

It's also about whether you end your life with an NHS looking after you, or left to die in misery because you can't afford the drugs or the care you need...and have paid for all your life.