IS THIS THE BETTER TOGETHER TRUMP CARD?

Am I the only one who thinks that it was probably unnecessary for William to announce that his wife was pregnant only 9 days before the referendum on Scottish independence?

I haven't a clue whether the announcement will make any difference to anyone's views, but I can't help feeling that it might have been advisable to keep this news out of the papers given the sensitivity of the issue, on the basis that it could look like the royal family was trying to exert influence on Scots.

Of course it is the current, and probably any future government's intention to keep the present head of state, so the outcome of the referendum won't make any difference to kate and her new offspring, but there has always been a fair bit of union jack waving attached to royal births marriages and deaths.

As I understand it the woman is suffering from morning sickness, and is being treated for this at her home at Kensington Palace. Had she been rushed off to hospital it might have been difficult to keep the reason out of the press, but surely it's not beyond the bounds of the British state to keep the news of Kate Middleton's vomiting from the public given their ability to stop us knowing about any number of other things! 

Before I'm slated for being unsympathetic, I'd like to point out that I am not. I'm told that morning sickness is absolutely horrible and my sympathies go out to the thousands of women over Scotland and the rest of the world who are currently suffering from it.

But particularly in view of the fact that Buckingham Palace (or Balmoral House) has had to put out a statement saying that, despite newspaper reports to the contrary, the Queen is neutral in the debate (BBC report) I can't help feeling that William's statement was, at least, unwise.

Plenty of time on the 19th September for that announcement, whichever way the result turns out.

Unto us a child is born... and his name shall be???

I wasn't going to say any more about the birth of Prince Dwayne or whatever he is to be called, but I was intrigued to hear that Ms Lamont had not had, or at least had not expressed, an opinion on the subject, so I looked up the BBC website’s piece on Scotland's leaders' messages.

It starts off quite reasonably (for the BBC).

First Minister Alex Salmond led Scotland's congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge on the birth of their baby son. (Well, I suppose he would, although I suspect that the first minister would probably have used the Earl and Earless [or whatever] of Strathearn).

Mr Salmond said: "I am sure that people across Scotland will be absolutely thrilled to hear the news of the birth of a baby boy to the royal couple." (Of course Eck is not always right… there are those who don't care much one way or the other, but I suppose in fairness it's hardly the done thing to point that out.)

Scotland Secretary Michael Moore, who appears to be second in the pecking order, said he was delighted to hear that the royal couple, known as the Earl and Countess of Strathearn in Scotland (ah that's the word, earless makes it sound like the gal doesn't have any ears!), had welcomed a healthy baby boy. (I wonder if HE used the Strathearn title or the BBC edited it in.)

"The birth of an heir is a significant event for our country and the excitement and warmth on display has shown how much it matters to people across the UK. (He had to get that in… even though he has no remit outside Scotland and he was being asked as SOS for Scotland. To be fair to him, like Eck, he has to trot out the expected drivel, even if I've yet to see or hear of anyone in Scotland who gives a damn.)

Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson said: "It's thrilling the whole country can welcome this future king into the world. (The whole of what country, Ruth? He will possibly [it’s maybe 60 years away] be king of 17 countries… do they get a say? Why not say, THE COUNTRY or COMMONWEALTH?  Why make it political?)

Anas Sarwar, deputy leader of (imaginary) Scottish Labour, said: "Our congratulations go to the proud parents who must be delighted this moment has finally come (finally come? Has it been like 10 months or something?) and they have our best wishes on this happy day.

"The extraordinary scenes outside the hospital and the palace are testament to the joy felt all around the world for the new arrival and a fresh chapter begins in our country's future." (That's overdoing the drivel! How would scenes at two locations in London be testament to emotions in any other place, never mind all over the bloody world?)

But soft, where is the fragrant Johann? Is she in her bunker deep below Glasgow …in case Trident goes off by mistake, or so Ed can keep her hidden, or is she a republican who can't be trusted to say anything nice about the royals? Or is she just getting her pink jacket cleaned for the occasion?)

The Church of Scotland said: "The birth of a baby is a special event in any couple's life and a true gift from God." (Or... possibly the result of some royal sexual intercourse, maybe? …atheists have babies too!)

Lord Provost and Lord-Lieutenant of Aberdeen George Adam said: "I am absolutely thrilled to hear the happy news and glad to know that the Duchess of Cambridge and the baby are doing well.

"I am sure their royal highnesses will make wonderful parents (are you?) and hope that they will be given time and the privacy to enjoy this very special time together as a family." (Without people with inflated opinions of their own importance making pronouncements on it.) OK, I lied; he never said the last bit. I was just wondering why anyone asked him.

And the second big question of the day is… where the hell is wee Willie Rennie? When it comes to rent a gob, he’s not usually the hindmost.

Anyway...prizes for the person who guesses the bairn's name. I think it probably won't be Dwayne.

It appears the media can no longer quote Billy Connolly as a supporter of the NO Campaign, Project Fear. He has said that it is not the place of a comedian to tell people how to vote. He said he spoke against devolution because it added another tier of government, but he has been in Scotland for a few weeks on holiday prior to some filming engagements and he says it has changed for the better. So NO, you should take him off your list.
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Channel Four News has revealed that costs for tribunals for benefit sanctions have risen dramatically. In 2012/13 the cost was £66 million up from £22 million in 209/10.  The number of appeals had risen by 66%. Liam Byrne apparently said that it's the fault of Atos which is spinning out of control. Well, there you go, Liam. You left no money and a Benefit system spinning out of control. Isn't Labour clever!
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According to the Guardian's Money Blog, to achieve their current pension on the open market MPs would need to save about £60,000 a year for every year they are in parliament. They actually only contribute £9,100, so they are getting a benefit worth £51,000 a year, or 75% of pay. Contrast this to IPSA's view of the value of the pension: it says it costs the taxpayer 20.4% of MPs' pay or £14,000 a year.

After the pay rise an MP with 15 years of service will get an extra £2,850 a year in retirement. On the open market this would need a pension fund of £100,000 to provide. Across 600 MPs this translates to about £60m of value.

So don't believe everything they tell you.... like you would!

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Danny...our man in America... sent me the following cartoons. The first was one of a series used years ago to explain to kids how the federal government of the country worked. The second is what happens now, as Danny says, since the radical right wing of the Republican Party decided that they preferred gridlock in Washington, because they hate the idea of government itself!

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If anyone is in the least interested, apparently hundreds of babies were successfully delivered all over Scotland today. In no case was the state broadcaster obliged to have a team of experts on hand to give a blow by blow account and there were no loonie's standing outside wearing butchers' aprons. But for all that mothers and babies are doing well... and fathers are playing their traditional role getting drunk. Munguin's Republic wishes them all well for their future, hopefully in an independent country.

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THIS WILL BE A GOOD TIME TO HIDE BAD NEWS (AND FOR CAMERON TO ESCAPE THE LYNTON CROSBY EFFECT)

I've just read John Humphries' column over at Yougov on the subject of THE baby, which, I read, is due at any time now. 

Apparently the Indian population is more interested in the fact that a monarch will be born than the Brits are. Humphries asks what the public thinks of the child and its future...and at the time when I read the piece, there were no responses!.

So, I'm in the majority...it's all a matter of indifference to me too. 

And no matter what any of us thinks, these people will do what they have done for centuries...live high on the hog at our expense.

There will, of course be rejoicing up and down the land. 

We will know about this because Mr Cameron will tell us that there is, and in case he looks as if he's being a bit socialist and egalitarian, Mr Miliband will echo his feelings...then Cleggy will say something about it too in case it looks like he's not been thought important enough to have an opinion. 

Even our own First Minister Alex Salmond will say something nice about the baby as I'm sure will other heads of government over the British Isles and the Commonwealth and the world.

It will receive presents from presidents, kings, dictators and murderers and tyrants, (friends of its grandfather and great grandmother), and it will receive presents from poor people who can barely afford to eat.

In the meantime more people will be thrown on the street because we can't afford to build enough houses of the right kind for them, and the ideologically driven UK government thinks it can get more votes from the right wing leaning southern English public by making fok homeless rather than finding them suitable accommodation; NHS England, which has just spent a billion pounds getting itself ready for sale (under the strangest choice for a cabinet minister in the history of cabinet ministers), will sink farther into a mire of uncaring, money grubbing incompetence; education will become even less effective and more expensive in most of the UK; more people will die of lung cancer because the tobacco companies own the government (or at least its advisor); and the railways will fall farther behind those of small African dictatorships for want of proper management and the armed forces will be left without proper rations and equipment in order to save money although we shall still have a nuclear deterrent and more admirals than boats.

Such is life in Britain. Fur coat and no knickers. 

(It's a thought though that the Tories, who are so against immigration of any kind, have had to bring in an Australian to advise them on how to get reelected and a Canadian to run their banking. The usual measure for allowing non EU citizens into the country to work is that there is no one else that can do the job. A sad reflection on education here then.)