THE SEEMINGLY ILLIBERAL DEMOCRAT

Stay classy, Malcolm.

Isn't this the man who wanted to change the voting system for Scottish Parliamentary elections to reduce the likelihood of another SNP victory. 

Why don't you just go the whole hog, you illiberal little man, and ban the SNP altogether... and then insist everyone vote Liberal?  I mean if you can't get your party of the rest of the unionist parties to be a little more popular, by offering policies that would suit us, the only other thing to can do is proscribe the enemy.

It seems to me the only way you're ever going to get any seats in Scotland. Wouldn't have thought of it from a Liberal until they all became honorary Tories.

Doubtless he will go to the House of Parasites now that he has stepped down from his constituency in Gordon, hopefully to be replaced by Alex Salmond.

SNAPS ON SATURDAY (TORY SPECIAL)

Hard to think what we will do with all that money

Well, we could always build a fence
to slow him up so they catch him

It's a lot cheaper than a bag of Charlie, George

Glad he's not doing my accounts... oh, heck...

Not sure about that. Stupidity?

Mr Orwell, j'ai les nouvelles pour vous!

Job isn't even half done yet though, is it, George?

McVile: If independence isn't for anything else,
at least we'd get shot of this cow.

The  recycled threepenny bit has polished up well.
They're going to pass it off as a pound this time, though.
Would you believe it?

From the mouths of Brats Barts....

Laugh? I nearly... Oh dear ...get nanny...

Pretty good summation there, Charlie

Don't miss or we'll send Princess Michael to visit you in Balmoral,
for a whole week. Aye, that steadied your hand.

See that Gideon... where would we be without him?

Yeah, you... Have you found those lines in the sand yet?

I see you invited some non members to make up the numbers.

Meanwhile in other news....

Ms Lamont even stumped Brewer with her lack of
understanding of what she was babbling about.
The car crash caused tailbacks of 3000 miles.

And the lovely Mr Bruce explained the philosophy
 behind the raison d'etre of the Fibdumbs.
The Federalist party with Democrat in it's title
 which would pass up the chance for federalist Britian,
even if they know that's what most people want,
because they want to get rid of the bloke
that we "democratically" elected. What a wally!

And Ed was daft enough to go somewhere on the advice of Iain Gray
(who's looking awffy chuffed with himself there).
The trouble is the hapless "Subway" man decided to take him to the company
that pretty much to a man we hate would happily see removed from Scotland.
And worse still the idiots were photographed with the ATOS logo!!!!
Tube or what  (Tube....!!!!!)

WITH THESE HANDS...

I noticed on UK Polling Report that the figures for tonight’s (Wednesday's) YouGov poll for Westminster voting are as follows:

SNP 36%

Lab 34%

Con 21%

Lib 6%

Excellent result for the SNP and for the Tories. I'm not sure whether this is a poll done quickly AFTER today's financial statement from the Cabinet Secretary for Finance or whether it was done before and only released tonight.

Someone has worked out, however, that (fair as it is NOT), this poll would result in the SNP having 19 seats (+13) and the Tories 3 (+2). Labour would be on 34 (-7) and the Liberals on 3 (down 8).

Interestingly we were just talking about how incredibly disrespectful the Liberals have been to Scotland all week.

I think that they should take into consideration that on a system that was stacked against anyone ever getting a majority, but most certainly against the SNP, because of the geographical spread of their support, as opposed to that of Labour, the SNP won the election hands down. According to my calculations they won it on a First Past the Post basis, and they won it on a PR basis... Now we don't expect them to like it, but they need to live with the reality of it

All week, however, we have had Liberals like Malcolm Bruce tell us that we must be protected from Alex Salmond 's misrule. Now Eck isn't perfect by any manner or means, but misrule? Come on?

Michael Moore too, the guy no one had heard of until Laws blotted his copy book, has been talking tough about independence. (I thought he was an American film maker and satirist.) He obviously has some sort of illusion that he is someone of account. He tells us that he's going to campaign against independence and he's going to get all the cabinet to join him! Lordy, we are scared!!! We shiver in fear, or anticipation, or excitement, or maybe we just shake with laughter!

Eck used to say that when Mrs Thatcher landed in Scotland the SNP polling went up by several points. Just imagine the whole cabinet arriving, and someone making an on-mic blunder about the 'ghastly place' or 'terrible people'.... Yes!!

And then *Wee Willie Winkie and his four illustrious men proposed yet another commission on devolution. Yes, before Calman has even been incorporated, before the Scotland Bill has been enacted, Willie is going to have yet another commission. Does he, one wonders, have a few mates who need a cosy sinecure for the next few years?

Rather like the earnest but disorganised Wendy (with the brain like a small plant) and the whiny Iain Gray (Gray by name and grey by nature), Willie Winkie has been running through the toon opposing and carping, and taking great satisfaction from the fact that arch unionist papers like the Torygraph have been praising him for holding Eck to account.

[I suspect that Alan Cochrane has had lean pickings of late. The SNP has been so successful that finding negative stories about them has required greater than usual effort. Our Willie must have come as an answer to an old man's prayer, carping daily about nothing much. The profundity of what is said is of little import; as long as it's negative Alan can report it, and he's be happy to laud it and print it.

Well, according to these figures, it's not done them much good. They will all but disappear from the Scottish political scene in London as in Edinburgh.

Bye Bye Whigs.

*******

* Scottish nursery rhyme.

Wee Willie Winkie rins through the toon,

Up stairs an' doon stairs in his nicht-goon,

Tirlin' at the window, crying at the lock,

"Are the weans in their bed, for it's now ten o'clock?"

"Hey, Willie Winkie, are ye comin' ben?

The cat's singin grey thrums to the sleepin hen,

The dog's speldert on the floor and disna gie a cheep,

But here's a waukrife laddie, that wunna fa' asleep."

Onything but sleep, you rogue, glow'ring like the moon,

Rattling in an airn jug wi' an airn spoon,

Rumblin', tumblin' roon about, crawin' like a cock,

Skirlin like a kenna-what, waukenin' sleepin' fock.

"Hey Willie Winkie, the wean's in a creel,

Wamblin' aff a bodie's knee like a verra eel,

Ruggin' at the cat's lug and raveling a' her thrums-

Hey Willie Winkie – see there he comes."

Wearit is the mither that has a stoorie wean,

A wee, stumpie, stousie, that canna rin his lane,

That has a battle aye wi' sleep afore he'll close an e'e-

But a kiss frae aff his rosy lips gies strength anew to me.

WHITHER THE LIBERALS? ...YES, INDEED, WHITHER?

So first we asked where the Tories were going. The answers were various, but we came to the conclusion that they may well be going in three different directions. Then we talked about where Labour was going. It seems that they might reject the Holyrood leader from London and plump for the Ms Lamont. On the basis that you want personality, looks and intellect to be a political leader these days, I think we can safely conclude that this will not be the best decision ever. But beggars can't be choosers.

So now we must ask: Whither the Liberal Democrats?

Well, it's been conference this week and they have managed some headlines and a few of their "big names" have been writing for the papers. Notably Malcolm Bruce, who it seems is an MP and Tavish Scott MSP, who used to be .... So we have some idea of what they feel they're about.

Bruce has been talking to The Telegraph about the SNP's "abuse of power"! This abuse appears to have manifest itself in talk of a referendum on independence. Having more MSPs than the rest of the parties put together, there is no obvious impediment to introducing an appropriate bill to give Scots the chance to chose their future. The likelihood is that it will pass and that Scots will be able to vote. A possibility that seems to scare the living daylights out of the unionist parties.

Of course the SNP hasn't actually mentioned referenda save in response to questions from opposition parties, Instead the SNP talks about bringing jobs to Scotland before all else; bringing capital spending forward to provide jobs for people and improve the infrastructure and housing in our country.

But old Malc has gone as far as to suggest the need for a second chamber for the Scottish parliament to hold the SNP to account. [For pity's sake man, we're trying to reduce the cost of government, not increase it.] And how would he insure that this second, expensive chamber wouldn't be SNP dominated? Have it appointed? By whom? Nick Clegg? Oh please.

Where is the abuse of power, Malc, seriously?

And poor old Tavish Scott, bitter to the last, has written for Scotland on Sunday. I won't go into details here, because someone who is an expert on debunking pompous nonsense has already done it here.

Still they both made a great headline for the unionist papers.

They seem desperate to do that at all costs. They are the hard men, they're standing up to the Tories and the SNP.... Pfffffff.

Where are they going? Well, they went from 16 to 5 seats in the Scottish parliament; that's a start . Then there was the English council elections, where half the seats were lost; and in Liverpool, losing 11 out of 13 seats, the ex-council leader, a lord no less, lost his seat to an 18 year old lad.

They won't admit it but they must be dreading next year's council elections here.

So not so much WHITHER the Liberals... as WITHER the Liberals, and who would wonder at it when they sold principles for a few cabinet seats, flash offices and big cars...

**********

However... there is hope. Because the rank and file are still trying to get some decency into the government's policies on health benefits as shown here.

INTERNATIONAL AID BUDGET SPENT ON VATICAN STATE VISIT

FMQ is over at Subrosa's place this week


It seems that one of the countries that is in need of foreign aid is none other than the fabulously wealthy Vatican City.

I know this because it has come to the notice of the Committee for International Development, chaired by Malcolm Bruce, who has asked how diverting money from the international aid budget to pay for the state visit of His Holiness the Pope would meet the requirements of global aid rules.

Detailed examination of the accounts of the Department for International Development (DfID) show that £1.85 million of their fund money, was transferred from foreign aid to help pay for the expensive visit in June 2010.

Mr Bruce quite rightly noted that many people would be as surprised as the committee to discover that UK aid money was used to fund the Pope's visit. He also asked that ministers should explain exactly what this was spent on and how it tallies with Britain’s commitments on overseas aid.

Apparently DfID reckon that they were one of a number of government departments which part-funded the Pope's visit to the UK. The contribution, according to a spokesman, recognized the Catholic Church’s role as a major provider of health and education services in developing countries.

Good heavens. I’ve heard some crummy excuses in my time, but this one is worthy of a satire show all on its own. The Catholic Church does a great deal of work in under-developed countries, including continuing to deny the inhabitants the luxury of contraception to control the every larger population. Good work.

The spokesman said that the money did not constitute official development assistance and was therefore additional to the coalition government's historic commitment to meet the 0.7% UN aid target from 2013 (which is required to be met in order for the prime minister to retain his seat at the G8 table), although, I suspect that this has been hastily added now that the cat is out of the bag.

How embarrassing for the government to be found to be pilfering from an aid budget, to subsidize celebrations for the great and the good. But how typical.

But be aware that when you pay your higher taxes and get reduced services for them, that while this country blows hard about how much money it contributes to international aid, to helping the poorest people in the world, people hit by typhoons, earthquakes, disease and pestilence, that the government is just as likely to transfer the money to wining and dining heads of state, and laugh at you behind your back.

Pics: (1) The Pope has a new hat Sophia! (2) Examples of aid that the Vatican has spread around the third world, thus rendering it deserving of our aid money to fund their state visit. (3) How the ordinary people of the Vatican City live. (4) The poor wee Pope's summer residence at Gandolfo, which, along with Vatican City remains a part of the Papal States.

Downing Street may be a two horse race, but Labour fell at the first fence

IN England it’s a two-horse race. And let’s be honest, that’s where UK elections are lost and won.

According to another Yougov poll, this time for the Sun, the Tories are on 34% and the Liberals are on 30%.

Of course, there are issues with Yougov and the way that they weight their responses, and of course the questions might be those that would suit the management and editorial policy of the Sun. However, they are broadly in line with the figures of other polls over the last week and a half.

Race to No 10 latest:

Conservatives 34% (no change)
Lib Dems 30% (up 1%)
Others 36% (down 1%)

Following on from the first two election debates, the poll also shows 80% say they are interested in the campaign:

How interested are you in the election?
Very interested - 36%
Fairly interested - 46%
TOTAL INTERESTED - 82%

Not very interested - 14%
Not at all interested - 4%
TOTAL NOT INTERESTED - 18%

*1,466 adults were polled on 24th and 25th April


http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/election2010/2946819/Suns-daily-YouGov-election-poll-April-26.html#ixzz0m9fTyWh2


Of course The Sun interests itself only in England.

I just watched the debate on BBC 1 of Scottish MPs. David Mundell accused the Liberals (who, in the form of Malcolm Bruce had just proposed that a win for the Tories was the worst thing that could happen) of wanting a Labour Government. Malcolm Bruce replied that he wanted a Liberal Democrat win, Mr Mundell obviously now having awakened to the new politics, and pointed out that it was possible.

Overall trying hard not to be biased, I’d say Stuart Hosie won the day. I’m proud to be stuffing envelopes for the man. I had no idea he was such a competent performer.

Without a doubt the next man was Malcolm Bruce. He proved to be a very competent performer and I’d have to say he spoke a lot of sense.

Jim Murphy comes over as a soundbite man. I’ve heard him over and over again saying the same things in the same way. “It gives me no pleasure as a Murphy to say....” when he's pulling Ireland to pieces. And he has no answer when Stuart puts to him the question...."So Britain's massive deficit is OK Jim?.......Grrrrrr.

Last and absolutely least was David Mundell. If Cameron is the next Prime Minster he MUST get someone better than Mundell for Scotland’s man in London. I don’t care if it is a Lord. Just get us someone more competent than Mundell. He's scary.

In Scotland it’s a three horse race. No one could deny Labour has the lead here, but the Tories are nowhere. In England, quite reasonably it is the reverse. A two horse race between the Tories and the Liberals who have everything to play for.

If I were English I would be very angry if Scotland forced a Labour government with a Scottish PM on me.

Pics: Stuart Hosie, Yellow seems to be a lucky colour; Malcolm Bruce