SOME SILLY SNAPS

JUST A WEE WORD...

...To point out, in case you missed it in the side bar, that Mark Frankland is fundraising urgently for First Base in Dumfries.

Fund raising is a 24/7/52 job. Isn't it heartbreaking that in the supposedly 6th largest economy of the world we feed millions by charity, otherwise they would starve to death. Proud?

I know that some of you have supported Mark in the past and I'd hate you to have missed it. Here's the link to the story, and here's the link to the appeal page.

Aye, well... hard question and I'm only a government minister, not programmed for hard questions from ordinary people. Where's the exit and my ministerial car?

If you can publicise the appeal on social media, it would be hugely appreciated too.

Thanks...

Has the Conservative Party abandoned that name in Scotland?

Are they now the Ruth Davidson Party?

When Annabel Goldie stood down as leader of the Conservative Party's Scottish branch, because David Cameron and Fluffy Muddle wanted her gone (presumably because they couldn't walk all over her), there were two main contenders for her job.

They were Ruth Davidson and Murdo Fraser.

Murdo stood on a ticket on changing the party in Scotland, losing the toxic brand, and the automatic agreement with everything London dictated, and becoming a new, right of centre, distinctly Scottish party. Many in the party agreed with him. Many outside the party agreed with him. 

Ruth, on the other hand, was David's woman. She areed with every word he said and he used all the power he could muster to have her elected, including supplying her (allegedly), against the rules, with his own PR people. (Not that they are up to much.) 

Ruth disagreed with changing the name or the brand... She arrogantly asserted that the toxicity attributable to Mrs Thatcher should be water under the bridge. Why, she (Ruth) was just a girl when Mrs Thatcher was prime minister.

It was insulting, of course, to those who had lost their jobs, their futures, their dignity and their health becasue of Thatcher's ideological reforms, and it missed the point that the Tories became even more toxic under John Major. Indeed it wasn't until 1997, some 6 years after Thatcher had been shown the door by the Tories, that they reached the depths. In that election they had zero MPs in Scotland. In that respect they have recovered a little since then, having one MP... well, more or less. (As my old boss would say: Half a man is better than no man at all!)

Ruth showed herself as an arrogant and immature 33 year old who needed to do some growing up. But with the help of David Cameron she was duly elected and led the party to its worst result in 100 years in the UK elections of last year.

Well, now she has grown up. And there's an irony in the fact that she isn't  any longer talking about the Tories at this general election. The toxicity has still not gone away, so she's selling herself.

Ruth Davidson for opposition. Quite apart from the fact that conceding defeat some 3 weeks before the election is pretty disturbing, it seems that she has come to the conclusion that she was wrong and Murdo was right.

Murdo must have a warm satisfied glow.

Ruth is counting on being the second party. The official opposition in parliament after the May election.

By pinning her party's fortunes so firmly to her own identity, she must realise that any failure in this regard is likely to fall fair and square on her shoulders

If Kezia Dugdale remains the leader of the opposition for the next five years, will Ruth fall on her sword?

HAPPY UNINDEPENDENCE DAY

It is thought that, had the Scottish public voted YES in September 2014, today is the day that we would have become independent.

Well, we didn't, and crying over spilt milk is as pointless as expecting George Osborne to be able to count past 10 without taking his shoes off,  Philip Hammond to get past the first sentence of a speech without everyone falling asleep, or the Tory Cabinet to come down hard on fat cat tax abusers and leave sick folk alone for a bit.

Going by the polls, on the back of a series of promises made by Better Together representatives, Scotland decided to stay in a hugely reformed United Kingdom.

Singa-longa-Gordon: God save the Queen.

Most notably Gordon Brown, on behalf of the two British political leaders who could possibly be prime minister at the time of independence, Cameron and Miliband, promised "as near federalist government as is possible in a union where 85% of the population live in one state". And, appearing on a television debate for young people alongside Ruth Davidson, speaking for the union on behalf of Better Together, George Galloway (couldn't Labour have fielded someone?) promised Devo-super-max. Whatever that was.

Its an interesting thought that neither the prime minister nor the leader of the opposition felt sufficiently confident of their popularity in Scotland to bring their promise directly to the people themselves. They were obliged to find an ex prime minister, who it was thought still had some popularity here, to do it for them. That, if you think about it, is a fairly strong indictment. In short neither possible future prime minister held much sway in Scotland.

The two of us.

Moving on, there are those who said that the YES side would never have won, were not winning at any point, could not possibly win. But if that is true why did Cameron do his famous volte face at the last moment and authorise the devo max/federal promises, having specifically ruled these out at the beginning of the debate? 

A man within sight of the winning post doesn't suddenly make concessions  that he previously specifically ruled out. Nor does he sit up all night unable to sleep, and then, when he knows the result, telephone the head of state to hear her purr (like she didn't have a radio in Buckingham palace).

Well we all know what happened...

In voting NO, by a reasonable majority, we put ourselves at the mercy of the UK government, which most people predicted would be Tory, or a Tory led coalition for some years to come.

Who said I purred?

They set up the Smith Commission with a remit to provide a report on further devolution. (The 'max' and 'federal' words had disappeared by this time, replaced by 'further' or 'enhanced' devolution.)

I remember reading that the time scale allowed to Smith was so short that the members of the commission were given a matter of minutes to read every submission and discuss it... and there were thousands, from political parties, civic Scotland, unions, employers, churches, charities and individuals, most of which must have been left unread.

So four pro independence and six anti independence representatives sat down to discuss what they hadn't read, taking orders instead from their bosses. Then the commission reported, not, as had been expected, to the people of Scotland, but to the Tory led coalition cabinet, where some of the proposals were apparently scrapped. So that was fair. Or not.

Fluffy: What he lacks in intellectual rigour, he makes up for with sleakitness. Ask Annabel Goldie.

Thence to the House of Commons in the form of a Bill, presumably overseen by David (Fluffy) Mundell or, more appropriately, Muddle, now amazingly a cabinet minister with responsibility for Scotland, where every single amendment proposed by Scottish MPs was voted down. Imagine, every single one, voted down by the Tory and Labour English MPs, while they were introducing English Votes for English Laws. You'd have thought they might have let a few minor amendments through, if only for the sake of appearance.

The Smith Commission had a policy of 'no financial detriment to Scotland', but Mundell and Osborne had ignored this and it was foreseen that the Scotland Bill would cost Scotland £7 billion in the next parliament.

Fortunately for Scotland John Swinney and his department aren't fools and the Treasury was eventually forced to make changes which ensured no detriment. The alternative would have been that the Scottish government recommend voting against the Scotland Bill.

Well, if you brag about broad shoulders and pooling and sharing, you really have to be seen to deliver.

The actual opposition.
The one that doesn't go home early or abstain.

So, we are where we are. Today we aren't celebrating. It's just another Thursday, and the brightest thing we have to look forward to is the clocks going forward on Saturday night.

But, in the biggest ever shake up in Scottish political history, the UK election which followed the referendum by 8 months, most of our seats in parliament were won by pro independence MPs, some of whom are making a real mark on the proceedings in Westminster. 

So called Scottish Labour, under the leadership of hard right winger, Jim Irn Bru Crate Murphy, was all but removed from Westminster, losing 40 of their 41 seats. This must be the most humiliating defeat for a political "leader" anywhere, ever. 

Ena Sharples.
No wait, I'm told she was sharp tongued but  a decent soul.
So it must be Alistair Carmichael, her stunt double, in drag.

Likewise the Liberals who had always been proportionally better represented in Scotland than in the UK, were reduced to one member, losing 11 of their 12 seats, and leaving only one sad little man who had felt obliged to lie about the First Minister and the French Ambassador in an attempt to retain his seat. The Tories held on to their one seat with a vastly reduced majority.

The election for our own parliament is only weeks away, and without counting chickens, pro independence parties look set to take a majority of the seats.

We have some limited powers over income tax coming in a year's time, and we will be able to change the road signs, at least within the limits of international law. Fortunately for Labour we will be able to vary the Airport Passenger Tax. I say fortunately, because is seems that their manifesto is largely dependent on the money that this will bring in, together with a scheme to lower council tax on Band D houses, presumably because their leader lives in one.

So things are better than they were. As the wise folk say:

Slowly, slowly catchy monkey!

A far more detailed analysis of what has happened since the referendum can be found on Wings' Little Black Book.

MEAN DOESN'T CUT IT. THIS IS DESPICABLE

Carmichael the liar, to his credit,  voted against the government.

In fairness Labour was whipped to vote against. It may be that Union Jacket man was ill, or otherwise engaged. 54 SNP members voted against.

It is, though, incredible that this Tory government is going to take £30 a week away from some of the most vulnerable people in the country in order to help pay off the debt incurred by incompetent greedy fat cat bankers and their likes.

Still, when they told us we were Better Together they must have known what they were talking about, huh? I'm sure one day it will all become clear. Maybe what they meant was that THEY were better if we were together...

Here's just a small selection of the rich who voted to do the poorest and most vulnerable out of money they desperately need.

EU-wwwww

by Panda Paws

Is it 24th June yet? 

I, for one, am fed up hearing about the EU referendum and the constant 24 hours non-news cycle. I will not be influenced by anything Boris Johnston says but worryingly some people might be. However, the most worrying thing is that the Scottish elections on 5th May are being sidelined, as are the other elections taking place on the same day.

When Nicola, Leanne Wood and others complained about the timing being disrespectful of the devolved areas in this family of nations, the kids were told by daddy Cameron to go to bed and were given no supper. The Yoons mocked their objections saying “are you cybernats too stupid to follow two elections at the same time”. Well, no we aren’t, but it appears that MSM are, since hardly a word has been said about these important elections.

And it’s not like there aren’t interesting things to discuss. The UK Elections twitter account has just predicted another SNP majority with 70 seats. Okay several polls also suggest another supposedly “virtually impossible” majority, so it’s not the first. 

But it’s their other predictions that caught my eye -the Tories to be second on 25 seats with Labour a dire third on 22. 

The Greens to get 6 (list) seats, though unfortunately only one in Lothians meaning the excellent Andy Wightman, a land reform campaigner would miss out. Definitely Holyrood’s loss!

Furthermore it predicts that Willie Rennie will not be back as the LibDems would have no list seats in the Mid region on this poll. Tragically UKIP are predicted to gain 2 list seats. How much of this will be due to their excessive media coverage because of the EU referendum? Or is it that the ultra Yoon vote is leaving Labour and coalescing around the Tories and UKIP further damaging SLAB who have already lost yes voters to the SNP? 

Please discuss, or rather don’t, as MSM goes into Project Fear 2. Floods of migrants, jobs lost, floods of migrants, national security threatened, migrants, economic instability, migrants. Did I mention immigration? 

Asides from the immigration angle, it’s déjà vu all over again. Stephen Hawkins you were wrong it is possible to travel back in time – to September 2014 in this instance. Only this time both sides are being forensically scrutinised rather than just one. Hence proving the theory of parallel universes where things are almost, but not quite the same.

On a more personal basis, my constituency is predicted to change hands, Labour to Tory. The Tory candidate will convert from list to constituency. The Labour incumbent would become unemployed. Labour are predicted to get three list seats and he is fourth. Oops. 

Obviously polls are not results and things can change between now and May, but one would think the local media might a bit more interested in these events. But no, it’s EU this and EU that with a soupçon of McGarry detained – unfortunately in Turkey, and my how the Scottish media became deflated when that was made clear, and SNP cuts which miraculously in other parts of the UK are Tory cuts.

It’s clear to me that the Scottish elections are of great import, at least to the folk that live here, but will people even know they are on before the polling cards arrive? Will turnout – traditionally not great- be lowered even more leading to those Yoon calculations about just how few voters voted SNP. Funnily enough, it will be a higher % than voted Tory in 2015 but those calculations never make it into the Yoons’ spreadsheets. 

Or is it their abacus?

Murraysaurus:  distinctively and tastelessly marked
making him easy to avoid

Clearly it’s not going to be the Unionist extinction event that May 2015 was where the only dinosaurs left were the Murraysaurus with its distinctive markings; the Fluffy Muddledon, a particularly ponderous and slow species, which roams close to the green and pleasant land that it longs to enter and be accepted in and the Liarsaurus a treacherous and untrustworthy big beast with a distinctive cry of “help me Rona”, that inhabits the Far North. 

But that doesn’t mean that the Scottish (sic) media should ignore the Holyrood elections almost completely.

Yes, the EU referendum is important. But first things first. May comes before June, at least on my calendar.

MUNDELL IN A MUDDLE OVER WHEN THE 1990s WERE...

You mean in that last 6 months of the 1990s when parliament was just setting up and Holyrood was a royal palace? DUH!
That's the trouble with choosing your cabinet members from a long list, never mind a short list,  of one!

NICE TO SEE YA....

TO SEE YA... 

OH WAIT, THAT WAS THAT OTHER BABBLING IDIOT

Seriously, in all your born days, did you ever see anything more... hmmm... nauseating?

No... listen, don't laugh. Someone must have actually proposed that they take this portrait standing like a bruised lemon at the bottom of some stairs pretending to be Hughie Green...except that instead of 'double your money', this little reprobate will halve it.

Image the conversation...

"Now Mr Mundell, look statesman like; no? Well, ok, look man like; too hard? OK, erm, well just stand there and look your ordinary useless self."

"Aye, well".

For those who don't know "Double Your Money" was an incredibly badly produced, cheesy, early STV/ITV quiz show (1960s/70s), much loved by my late grandmother. It was hosted by super-slimy Hughie Green, who could make your flesh creep at 100 meters.

And he wasn't half as bad as this baw heid, who, for those of you who don't know, is the Scottish Viceroy, the bloke that presented the Scotland Bill, which two committees in the Lords have pointed out is completely financially unsound and incompetent.

THANKS A MILLION FOR LETTING US DOWN, UKOK.

“The Scotland Bill is terrible. We are being given the power to top-up existing benefits, but not control of the benefits system. That means we don't save money by getting people into work, and we can't change the system to make it more humane or more efficient. Top up benefits will be expensive or in some cases impossible to administer.

“Oh and taxes - we are getting more power to vary taxes, but not power to define them. Rich people can choose to take their income through shares or capital gains, taxes not devolved, so we can tax the middle class more but we can't tax the rich. And the Tories will still be cutting the Scottish block grant every year. A well-constructed trap, all round.”

Alistair Davidson: SNP researcher.

SNAPS ON SATURDAY

I've never doubted that he was an inspiration to people in the Second World War. He was a spin doctor of extraordinary talents, suitable for the times, where people expected to be spoken down to by their "betters", but I've also always suspected that he liked nothing better than to play at soldiers. He seems to have confirmed it.

We all know not to believe what we read in the papers.

Note: Please add "Must have no compunction about sending people to an early grave".

Proof positive that you can succeed by being sneaky rather than clever, lying through your teeth and cheating as much as you can on expenses. It works. Give it a try. Or we'll sanction you and you'll starve to death.

"Get back in your box and shut up Kez" signed John.

Superb interview. Some people can carry off obfuscation with some measure of success. Some just look hopelessly out of their depth. Guess which she was.

You never really know whether he is deceitful or just plain dim.
Probably a mixture.

Good way to start September.

Let's have none of this Gaelic nonsense on our police vehicles.
Only 1% of the population understands it.
Latin, on the other hand, is taught at Independent Schools ...
So 33% of MPs can understand it.

And they told us it was by the grace of God.

Seems a sensible way to generate  membership 

...or maybe she likes calling people liars and cheats...

Oh Harriet...you bit off more than you could chew.

Isn't history lovely?

I always suspected this. Isn't Harriet Harman a cousin of some sort
 to David Cameron?

You shall be judged by the company you keep.
So, Mugabe, you just went down in my estimation!

Some surprises there....Switzerland? Germany? New Zealand?

Oh, and 100% in Northern Ireland didn't vote Tory!
Not to mention 100% who didn't vote for the dross
and dregs you elevated to the aristocracy, or the rest of that
House of Ill-repute.
And while we're on, remind me how many voted for the Saxe Coburgs?