IT'S MONDAY MONTAGE

You wouldn't want to make it up, 
unless you were writing a horror story.

Still, it's true to say that they seem to be doing a job of work on things that matter to people

And it the Queen can bother to turn up and read the drivel she did, the least that the MPs could do was turn up to the debates about it.

But don't let the truth get in the way of a bit of Jock bashing

Oh look, there they are again showing the place disrespect by turning up to work instead of sitting in the bars.

Well said. They will sink to any depths to make a hit show.

Here's a suggestion.
I noticed Airmiles was sporting one of these watches
 that cost something in the order of £12,000

But soon they will have got rid of the problems of the sick scrounger.
They can speed up the death rate now that the Liberals won't whine about it.

The difference is that he has class and knows the right people,
 and she...well... doesn't. Lovely country

A vast amount of the benefits in this country go straight to landlords in housing benefits...and indirectly to employers, who can get away with paying less in wages than the average rent in the area.

If you though McVile was a bitch,
I suspect you may be in for a surprise.
The Priti one looks like she is shaping up to
take home prizes in foulness.

Good old Professor Stephenson.
Thicker than a thick thing that has been covered in 190 coats of thickening paint.

The question is, who the hell would want that worm addressing their conference.  I'm proud to say that I once refused the opportunity to meet him, most insistently too.

At least thank goodness, he has resigned from the Middle East job Bush gave him for being a totally faithful little puppet
and plunging the region into utter chaos. Actually as peace envoy he kept at it and achieved much the same result but more of it.
 I hope he never has another night's sleep for all the blood he has on his hands.

Nope, he doesn't look any more sensible or statesmanlike standing on his head. I think they have chosen badly.
 Mundell maybe would make a reasonable councillor,
or even a back bench MP, but a Cabinet Minister he is not.
But then...who else was there? Oh yeah, no one!

I truly hope he bursts. Loudly.

They were always a loving lot, the Tories, although he may have been a Liberal when he said that. Who knows? He put himself about a bit.

This one was a Liberal.. or rather, a Whig.

Can't argue that.

What a pleasant man. Has he met IDS? They'd probably get on.

CONGRATULATIONS TO ED MILIBAND

Winner Ed Milband..... and, pictured below, the other contenders

So it’s Ed.

If I’m honest, I don’t really care much for him, but he was the best of a mediocre bunch.

Diane Abbot and Andy Burnham were frankly ridiculous outsiders. The more Abbot said the more I realized why she was and always had been a back bench MP. And the more that Burnham said the more I was glad that his Cabinet remit was England only. (Compare him with Nicola Sturgeon and rejoice that you are Scottish, regardless of politics.)

Ed Balls was, if you strip away some of the probably undeserved reputation (and the daft wife), a man with some decent and sensible policies.

But of course, from the beginning, as Tony Benn had predicted many years ago, it was clear that it would be a Miliband who led the party once the Blair/Brown ‘partnership’ was truly over.

So, as they were all applauding and cheering the man who lost them the election yesterday we all wondered which one it would be. Should we be glad that the choice was Milly junior, rather than Milly senior?

I think so. David is Blair’s creature. Blair and Mandelson! The south-east of England is all that matters, the north has nowhere else to go, and half the country lives in the prosperous belt around London. I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t have been able to get a cigarette paper between the policies of Miliband Snr. and Camerclegg.

Does that mean that Ed is left wing? Well, not by historic standards, no. He’s not a Tony Benn or a Michael Foot. He’s not even a Denis Healy. He may be to the left of his brother and Tony Blair; he was against the Iraq war and for the 50p tax band, but so was most of the country. He’s no firebrand.

Is he a creature of the unions? To an extent, yes, but it has to be remembered that despite the fact that it was union members’ votes that swung it, gone are the days of the block vote. Individual members sent in individual votes. And union members are no longer the wild radicals that struck because they had carbolic soap and hard toilet paper; whist the management had Lux and soft tissue.

So will he be a slave of the unions who put him where he is? No, I don’t think so, mainly for the already stated reason that the block vote is history. It wasn’t the unions who put him there, it was the union members. Smart Tories are avoiding the union argument, as it can be so easily blown apart the first time that he condemns unnecessary strike action.

When the cuts come, and the unions take action (as they undoubtedly will), of course there will be times when Labour will support them; there will be times when we all support them, I suspect. But the new leader has been swift to point out that he will support reasonable cuts, and the government will have his backing where it is in the interests of the country.

In the days, weeks and months to come of hardships like people of my age, indeed people under 70, have never endured, it will be necessary for the country to have an opposition which is ideologically capable of opposing where it is appropriate. The alternative would be unthinkable. The Liberals have been lost (at least for the present) to the opposition and the nationalist parties in Westminster are too small to have any major impact.

Camerclegg unopposed would be frighteningly dangerous.

So I wish Ed Miliband success in the difficult task ahead of him.

Harriet Harman auditions for a stand up comedy routine

Well you have to hand it to Harriet Harman: she’s always good for a laugh on a wet Sunday. She’s made a speech saying her party should change its rules to ensure that half the shadow cabinet are women.

Harman, somewhat erroneously, told the Unite conference that Labour is the only party in parliament which speaks up for women. And the presumably now ‘losing’ candidate for leader, Ed Miliband said that he was very sympathetic to the idea and would be supporting it. David and Balls-up are doubtless rubbing their hands together with glee.

Harman said the party had more women MPs than all other parties added together but still had twice as many male MPs. She added: "We have some excellent experienced women and some brilliant new women MPs. The Labour men are great - but they are not twice as good as the women." Erm what? If there was some logic in that I’m sure someone will point it out to me in due course.

Diane Abbott, another Labour leadership candidate told the BBC that she thought the idea was worth discussing because the people at the top of the Labour party all look the same. (Harry can’t be too pleased about that, but in fairness, as two of them are brothers, Di may have a point.) She said: "We have a boys' club at Westminster. Yep, but the deal is Diane, there is nothing at all stopping women standing, being elected and becoming prime minister. In a democracy we can’t really do much about who puts themselves forward and who gets elected, unless of course we discriminate (only of course if our husbands aren’t standing and our kids aren’t the age to go to the crap local school, girls. Huh? You pair of hypocrites.

Harman babbled some nonsense about the contest for a new leader being a "crucial opportunity for the Labour Party to reflect, renew itself and re-engage with the people of Britain". What utter tosh! They had 13 bloody years to do that when they were in government. It was their bloody job! And if leadership changes are a chance to re-engage, what about the fact that they had one only 3 years ago! I mean how often do they have to “re-engage”?

Apparently she thinks that the contest will be open engaging and energising, a chance to invite supporters to join the party to have a vote, and she trotted out Labour’s favourite phrase about support from “hard-working families” who, worried about housing and jobs, felt insecure and were concerned about immigration.

For pity’s sake! Where has this woman been for the last 13 years when Labour, you know the party of which she was deputy leader, let every Tom, Dick and Harry into the country? And, while we’re on the nonsense this fool dribbles out (a fine example of a competent woman at the top of labour) there are a large number of Labour supports who are not in families and are anything but hard working (as there are of all the other parties including the SNP).

Harman added that Labour's opponents would try to denigrate the party's record in government, but she said that the party would not let them". Erm, isn’t it people’s right to denigrate the record of the government. So what is she going to do to stop them?

Harman once said that there should always be a male and female at the top of the Labour party, and on that basis I hope that Diane Abbot wins the leadership and this half wit woman has to stand down.

But then we’d miss the laugh she gives us with her wimmin speeches.