Monday, 28 March 2016

JUST FOR A LAUGH

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking. "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!" 

The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink. The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of the little old lady. Then he carefully counted out the French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of her. He took a sip of the drink, and then she took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites. Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were thinking. "That poor old couple." As the old man began to eat his French fries, one young man stood and came over to the old couples' table. 

He politely offered to buy another meal. The old man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing everything. 

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady hadn't eaten a thing...she just sat there watching him eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink. Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy them something to eat. 

This time, the lady explained that no, they were used to sharing. As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again. After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?" She answered.... 

The teeth!!! 
And there was me thinking that sheep didn't have dogs!
Apple watch!
One day God and Adam were walking in the garden. God told Adam it was time to populate the earth. 

He told Adam, "Adam, you can start by kissing Eve." Adam replied "God, what is a kiss?" 

God told Adam and Adam went and took Eve behind the bush and kissed her. A little while later, Adam came back out with a big smile and said "Wow Lord! That was great!! What next?" 

God said, "Adam, I now want you to caress Eve." Adam says, "Lord what is a caress?" God explained it to Adam and he again took her behind the bush. 

A little while later, he came out and said "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What next." God said, "Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to take Eve and make love to her." 

Adam said "Lord, what is to make love?" God explained and Adam took Eve behind the bush and a few seconds later came out and said "Lord, what is a headache?"

4 comments:

  1. I sympathise with the tweet about Wetherspoons. Went to the one in Elgin on Friday. Couldn't place order at bar as there weren't enough staff. Gave up and followed three other tables out. Wetherspoons lost the custom of 11 people. I certainly won't be going back in the near future.

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    1. Not much of a joke for you then Hungry.

      I hope you've managed to get something to eat since?

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  2. Oh the teeth
    The tales I could tell about those (and all true) doesn't look as good when written as when told, so I won't.

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    1. Eeeek fairfor... Perhaps best kept secret.

      :)

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