Sunday 5 May 2013


A young lady confidently walked around the room, while leading and explaining stress management to an audience, with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'... But she fooled them all ....

"How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied , "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it.
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
"If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
"In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
She continued, "And that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.
“So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... Pick them up tomorrow.

Alternatively,  you could just drink the water!

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.....

Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid maybe you were trying to give her back." 

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.


  1. Is the water one one of the 500 questions we have to answer?

    Questions for the No brigade.

  2. 508... You really would have thought, given the ridicule that they could reasonably anticipate, that they'd have actually kept the question total to 500...

    Actually as most people are going t get seriously bored after question 3 or 4, I'd have kept it in single figures.

    And then there's all the ones that Stu and his readers have come up with. I'm afraid that if we keep on adding questions it may be that all of them will not have been answered before referendum day.

    Then what will be do in an Independent Scotland...? Oooops, there, I've just added another one.

    Will the glass be half full or half empty in an Independent Scotland and will it be water, or finest malt scotch?

    OMG, I just thought....Will there always be an England in an independent Scotland?

    Another mess up by the Bitter campaign methinks.

  3. Piss ups and breweries come to mind for some inexplicable reason.

  4. Piss ups, breweries and Bitter Together... your perfect combination.

    No wonder though led by Alistair Darling and with the likes of the Alexander man, Lamont , Davidson and that bloke from the Liberals... you now the short one... whatsisname...

    Once again, what happened to Charlie Kennedy and Annabel Goldie?

    They were supposed to be leaders of Butter (melted) Together. I've not heard of them doing anything.