And if that doesn't do it for you, a bit later there's the jolly old right honourable Francis the minister for creating crises, and this time he's dusting off the jolly old bike and pumping some air into the jolly old tyres a
So what is the purpose of all this carry on, I hear you ask... Well, I don't but I'll tell you anyway...
Well, you see, the muppets who are supposedly organising the London Olympics, in addition to:
* not considering the need for security in the whole of the last 8 years since they
* not considering that Heathrow couldn't cope with the inevitable influx of passengers;
also took until now...about 6 weeks before the whole thing kicks off..to remember that some people don't have chauffeured cars to get them around and that London's public transport, which was falling to pieces 20 years ago, still has had almost nothing done to it.
So the jolly old wheeze is that they are asking Londoners to get up early, go to work in the middle of the night to avoid the rush hour when the roads and trains will be needed for the Olympics.
Alternatively they want Londoners to work from home (difficult when you flip burgers for a living, but they probably didn't think about that). And, failing that, they want people to walk to work, or cycle... or swim up the river, or any other means of travel, as long as they don't block the metro and the buses and show the world what a chaotic mess they have made of the whole thing.
But Londoners, have no fear, you are not alone...you are all in it together, and, just to prove it, your betters are showing an example. If these important and highly bred people can walk or cycle, or turn up at 6.30 in the morning, then so surely can you. It's for London, for England and St George...and the Queen!
Oh, and the bloke at the end, yeah the one with the... erm...uh, 'interesting, and somewhat daring'... orange tie... yeah you...if you're reading this, it's a good idea, just before you go on camera, to make sure that you brush the dandruff off your suit.
You see, you'll find that once people notice that you have dandruff on your jacket, they lose interest in what you are saying and concentrate on 'les petites pellicules'. Specially when you're terminally boring.