Friday 7 January 2011


For a long time the Tories have been waging war on the number of Quangos that the British state appears to need, and so before the election, and indeed since the election, much has been made of the plan to have yet another ‘bonfire of quangos’.

The strange thing about this is that they used pretty much the same words as the Labour government used when they came to power 14 years ago.

I wonder if the Tories stopped for even a second to ask themselves why it was that Labour had made no progress whatsoever in the matter...

Well, either they didn’t or they thought that they were simply cleverer than Labour (an easy mistake to make), for, on taking up his post as a minister at the Cabinet Office, Francis Maude set about the quasi autonomous non-governmental organisations with his hatchet and dust pan and shovel.

No planning, no preparation, just right in there with the axe...

So it must have come as a bit of a blow to the poor old fella when he read the report of a parliamentary committee, with a predominance of Conservatives and chaired by Conservative Bernard Jenkins, which said that the whole thing had been botched and badly managed, and that rather than saving money (Call Me had promised savings of a billion a year), the whole thing was likely to cost money.

The truth is that most of what is done by quangos, is done so because it needs to be done, and it is best not done by Whitehall, directly under the control of politicians. So, in setting light to them, it is necessary to ensure that the essential parts of their work be taken over by others. Effectively many of the changes made by Maudie, amalgamated quangos, or took them back under the wing of a government department (which a few months down the line will mean calls of unfairness, partiality and political interference). Even his own side thing he’s a pratt. Ooooops. Liam Byrne, his shadow, said: "I like a plate of soup at lunchtime", as if anyone cared.

Now, on the subject of pratts, I seem to recall that the then shadow chancellor, Porgy Georgie Osborne was outraged at the bonuses given to bankers under the last regime, after the banks brought the country to its knees. Indeed the deputy prime minister reiterated Mr Osborne’s sentiments as recently as last week.

So it must be pretty embarrassing for both of them that Robert Peston is reporting that the banks will make SMALL reductions in the payments this year, and that much of the bonuses will be paid in shares which cannot be immediately cashed. (This is to encourage longer term strategies where trading is concerned: bankers will, it is hoped be encouraged to think long term, because their shares can go up or down). However, the cunning old sausages have got round that little problem by giving themselves 50% increases in fixed pay... so if the banks do crash again because of their stupidity, the bankers will have most of it stashed in salary. Even less reason to think about the future. "They are looking for some words from us that prove that the negotiations have achieved something," said a senior banker. "I fear however that there may be more spin than substance to what we say."

Well Gideon... remind us, what was it you were going to do? Ooooops

PS... then there's daft Nadine! Oooooops.

Pics: (1) Maudie, in a government of knobs, he stands out as a real knob. (2) Georgie is getting to be a chunky wee thing now he’s got all the Treasury money as well as his own. (3) Now this is what Dave does best, dressing up in clothes the rest of us just don’t have. (4) Laim Byrne (no spelling error) He’s not relevant to this story, but boy is he spooky. (5) Mr Peston. Do you think he was a singing teacher in another life? (6) When the words disaster and Tories are in a story you can bet that Mad Nad won’t be far away. The poor old thing’s having another yet fling, now that she’s not got her expenses to keep her warm. Well, she's a bit chav isn't she?


  1. tris how are goverment works.

    At the very top are the bankers who control the money flow allowing government to work by borrowing.

    Next we have the Whitehall mandarins who have control of all the workings of government.

    Then we have our 'democratically' elected representatives with all of their manifestos pledges so that they can feel important.

    Government has a policy which they want to put forward which goes to the mandarins who can smooth or put brick walls in the way depending of there agenda with the bankers. That is why there are so many U turns and cock handed legislation put forward.

    Thats my interpritation of the nonsensical democracy that we have.

    GB didn't do anything against the bankers and DC won't because he can't as they are stymied or redundant.

  2. LOL CH... you missed out Rupert Murdoch controlling them all with the threat that he'll let out something unpleasant about them if they don't do his bidding... and Mr Coulson there as god's representative on Earth.

  3. CH... what you said makes sense, but I don't believe I understand this word 'democracy' - what is that? We certainly don't grow it here...

    Also what's the difference between low-level employees and top bankers now? I know in America they were making 400% of what their social lowers and societal betters made before everything hit the fan, whereas here it was 'only' somewhere around 100% more.

  4. Democracy Laz... it's a foreign concept, Greek, we wouldn't want any foreign muck here.

    Much better the way it's always been done. Keeps the scum at the top and the dregs at the bottom. :)

  5. Aye I agree that's the way it is and no matter what we say it won't change. There are plenty in the world whose god is money.

    As for Nadine. Hussy. :)

  6. Yes SR, but why is that government allowing it?

    They could do something about it. But of course, silly me, all their friends are bankers.

    And they criticised Labour!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. CH... I'm speechless at the moment, but you can bet your sweet life that I'll be writing something about this tonight.

    It's just disgusting.

  8. With the Tories in charge the world suddenly seems a lot like Narnia before Aslan comes i.e. always winter but never Christmas!

  9. Does anyone else think Thatcher's new facelift makes her look a bit mannish? Third picture down, not helped by the masculine dress either.

  10. That's how it feels Munguin. Even the weather seems to be aware that Mrs Thatcher is no longer in charge. For weren't the skies always bluer when she was in charge, and didn't the birds sing that little bit louder...?

  11. Laz: I think Cameron's personal photographer must be working his own brand of miracle on the old witch... But I thought that was quite feminine attire for Mrs Thatcher...

  12. That's very true Tris, with the Leaderine in charge colours were that bit more vivid and the birds sang out their little hearts for Great Britain!

    Not like on the nasty old continent where the birds were stuffed with garlic and eaten!

  13. Ah, well.... now you mention the continent Munguin....The trouble with them is they are not us. Ah, if only they were.

    She once said, apparently, that God put 20 miles of water between France and England for a reason. (She failed to elabourate.) It didn't seem to occur to her that he saw fit to put very much more water, and a couple of countries, between England and the United States...

    ...I imagine in any case that he put the 20 miles between the English and French in order to keep the smell of garlic from the sensitive English nose, and the delicate scent of the dishwater the English call coffee, from the nez des francais!

  14. It's not strange that the Tories are singing the same song as Labour. On most issues we have a "consensus" which amounts to one party government, mostly enforced by subservience to the EU but there are other supra-national (ie anti democratic) agendas to which they are all signed up.

    I remember Michael Heseltine's attempted "bonfire of regulations". The peak of his achievement was
    (1) a proposal for the abolition of local authority licences for pedlars (either not implemented or since reinstated, I believe) and

    2. Something which will gladden your Caledonian heart - ladies in Scotland were (at last) allowed to become cattle slaughterers - a real advance for wimmins' lib and a terror to the Haggis, I'm sure.

    Happy Days!

  15. LOL Mr S... the Haggis outwit the women here every time, but don't tell Sub Rosa I said that.

    But you should know that there is only one thing that gladdens the male Caledonian heart... and it's a kinda amber coloured liquid...