LESSONS HAVE NOT BEEN LEARNED

I've had it in mind for a few days to write something about some of the interventions that have been coming from London politicians and commentators about the SNP.

So many of them have now put their two pennyworth in that it seems to be almost impossible to keep up...

Sarah Vine, (close mate of Cameron's wife, and wife herself of the funny looking, snippy wee man who reminds me of a Hogwarts house elf, and who managed to lock himself in a toilet on his first day as Chief Whip) warning that the SNP with its small numbers of MPs in a British parliament, would turn the country into a communist dictatorship.

We all know about Mr Major insisting that no one who is not standing for the parliament should be allowed to pass an opinion on the subject. His announcement of where he is standing is expected shortly.

The along came Boris, with his usual lack of tact and diplomacy, to liken Nicola Sturgeon to king Herod, the bloke, you'll remember, that had all the kids in his country killed, lest one of them turn out to be competition to him in the king stakes.

Then you get Cameron announcing that he intends to set up inspections of the work of the Scottish parliament... So much for the most power for any devolved parliament in the world, anywhere. Way to get our approval, Poshboy.

 Anyway, I've spared you from my thoughts becasue I saw THIS and could never have bettered it. 

Every day someone launches an attack or vitriol at the SNP or at Nicola personally. 

What I can't understand for the life of me is why, over the last few months, they haven't learned that that kind of thing doesn't actually do a lot of good.

OK. In the referendum they alternately love bombed us and blasted us with hatred. A teary-eyed Cameron one minute saying how it would break his heart if Scotland left (presumably because whatever else he was remembered for ...very little I suspect... he would go down in history as the prime minister who lost Scotland)... and the next they screamed at us that we would be broke within a month, they'd take our currency away from us, bar us from EU membership and put up barbed wire border posts. We really were too wee, poor and stupid to do what Iceland could do with its 400,000 population.

None of that worked. The more they ranted, the more the YES numbers rose. From 22% at the beginning to over 50%. They panicked, got Gordon to come out of retirement to promise Federalism, because they had known all along that that was the most popular option... and, as we know, they won the day 55/45.

But we also know that the day after the queen purred down the phone at him, Cameron stuck a great big evel knife in Gordon's back. Voting on English laws in the UK parliament would exclude Scottish MPs. (Not desperately unfair in my opinion: why should a Scottish MP vote on English matters for which he has no responsibility to his constituents?) But effectively this meant that Labour would almost never again really be in power, even if it won a UK election. The Tories would nearly always be able to vote down Labour's legislation for England, because the Tories would nearly always be in an English majority.

Game, Set and Match, Cameron.

The Eton boy famously said that he had Alex Salmond bagged, stuffed and mounted on his wall after the referendum. Given what has happened since he may well live to regret that!  What he really had on his wall though, was Ed Miliband. And Ed had signed the vow, and Gordon had made it credible. Sheesh, how they must have broken out the good Bolly that night.

If I'd been in any of the major English-based parties at the beginning of the campaign for May 2015, with the SNP in the ascendancy, I think I'd have been looking back at the near past to see if I could learn from the mistakes that were made which led to a post referendum situation where the losers were the winners; where the SNP was the third largest party in the UK with probably around 14 times the number of members in Scotland as their nearest rivals, Labour. And the Greens had at least as many members as Labour.

I might well have ruled out another vow. I'd certainly have ruled out Gordon "I guarantee all this.... oooops" Brown.  And I think, given its obvious popularity, I'd have ruled out gratuitous insults of the SNP and its leadership.

Who do they impress, these insults? I wonder if even solid Labour voters like to hear Sturgeon being likened to a child murderer by a posh boy whose party has overseen thousands of deaths of our poorest people by cancelling their social security payments just weeks before their deaths. 

Maybe some people are amused by these things, but you don't convert floating voters with that kind of talk. 

If you don't believe this, look at the debates where the unionists ganged up on Nicola and Patrick, or just Nicola, and then look at the SNP membership spike that followed them.

I can't quite work out why the London parties are so intent on committing political suicide.

In the referendum campaign I always thought that they would find a way at the end to scupper our hopes. 

I couldn't, of course, guess what it would be. You'll remember that I proposed it might be a terrorist plot to bomb Holyrood, foiled by the might of the British Empire's secret police. (Not difficult if they had organised it.) 

Or maybe the death of a senior but expendable royal.  

Or the wedding of Harry to someone or other, anyone will do,  and great rejoicing and celebrations throughout the land. 

I must admit I never saw coming the Vow or the Clunking Fist guaranteeing it.

I still think it quite possible that they have something up their sleeve for a couple of days before the election. 

Please let it be Gordon again. That would just be so funny.
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PS.... A propos de Gordon, I have just read this tweet from Iain:

Iain Macwhirter ‏@iainmacwhirter  9m9 minutes ago

It's #indyref 2! "All we need is Gordon Brown trundled out like Mons Meg for one last blast against the Nats". My Herald column tomorrow.