Sunday, 25 September 2011


According to the Daily Telegraph "Britain" is going to be hotter than Hawaii this week.

Of course that's not true. The South East of England, which is the only part that matters to the Telegraph, is going to be hotter than Hawaii; Scotland will be colder.

As it happens it's not going to be THAT much colder. Scotland's all lumped into one according to the Telegraph so from Lerwick to Peebles it seems we can expect around 24 C. Of course that's rubbish, but no one at the Telegraph gives a stuff about that.

Just like the BBC, in fact. I notice that on their weather forecasts that they go into far more detail about English weather and lump Scotland all in one. The other day they forgot to mention what the temperatures would be in Scotland. Presumably they ran out of time.

And, while we are on it, we seem to have a virtually exclusively English 6 o'clock news programme. We hear all about what the Justice Secretary has said about this, and the Health Secretary has said about that, and of course none of it has the square root of Jack Squat to do with us. The English Justice Secretary could announce the return of hanging, and what does it matter to us... and the English Health Secretary could announce the privatization of the Heath Service... Oh wait, he already did that...

Likewise a murder inquiry in Bristol is headline news, but one in Glasgow doesn't get a mention. We were 15 minutes hearing the outcome of a trial in Bradford the other night. We heard in incredible detail what the detective in charge of the investigation had to say; we heard the father's brave and probably touching statement... but none of it was anything to do with us.

It was local news.

Of course I'm not indifferent to the suffering that was caused by a guy that murdered his girlfriend and then lied about it, but there are horror stories like that from all over the world we could hear. But unless that sort of item is local, it's not really news. before you slate me for that, just think about it. Are you really interested in the details of English murders?

And come on, you really can't be interested in the details of the English cricket team's latest Test match; or how Gloucester has done against Warwickshire and on and on and on....

I know it probably sounds to English readers like I'm just a whining Jock, but you know, I have the choice of whether to pay for and read the Telegraph, but whilst I have the choice to not watch the BBC, I don't have the choice to not PAY for it.

So, no, I'm not a whining Scot. I just want a news programme that deals with Scottish news and Scottish weather, what the Scottish Justice or Health Secretaries have said, and what's been going on in OUR courts, on our roads and on our railways.

And no, I don't mean the comic that follows the BBC News, Reporting Scotland, with their magazine style reporting on Mrs McGinty's cat getting stuck up a tree. I mean a NEWS bulletin.

OK. Moan over. I hope some of the good weather comes our way. We certainly could do with it.

(But I feel really sorry for three sets of neighbours who are in, respectively Malta, Turkey and Spain... I do, really I do... honest... hmmmmm)


  1. This sort of thing happens to us in Midwest (central) USA too. Places like Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, etc, are famously derided as "flyover country"; the area of the country that is viewed from 35,000 feet by the movers and shakers on their transcontinental flights between New York and LA (Los Angeles.) These centers of media, entertainment, and finance, are where the NEWS occurs. The rest of us may get a mention if there is time at the end of the national newscast.

    As for being hotter than Hawaii. The BBC might point out that can be good only up to a point. A LITTLE hotter than the 27 degC ocean breezes of Hawaii is one thing, but if you're as much hotter than Hawaii as Missouri is for example in the summer, that's not so great.....e.g., 43 degC and a breeze that feels like the door of a blast furnace. ;-)

  2. just txt to radio jockland the following at every opportunity

    Bet you wish you were a real journalist instead of reading that rubbish off your computer screen that you get sent up from London

  3. Ha ha Danny,

    I reckon that there are states in America that most Americans haven't heard of. I mean, until Sarah Palin, had anyone heard of Alaska?

    Your weather makes me glad I only have to put up with Scottish weather. Summers where you bake and winters where you freeze. There must be the odd day in Spring and Fall when it's an agreeable climate?

  4. Brilliant Anon...

    perfect line for a put down.

    That crabbie old woman Jackie Bird really gets up my nose.

  5. Tris....Yes, our Spring and Fall climate can be very nice indeed. I just wish that those seasons lasted longer than about a week. ;-)

    Occasionally there is a winter weather report here to the effect that the temperature in Missouri is colder than Alaska. This may be true, but there is always a catch. They are almost always talking about the southern Alaska panhandle with its northern maritime climate, not continental Alaska.....that is, talking about Anchorage, not Fairbanks. As you suggest, the exact location in the country is always an issue when it comes to weather.

  6. True, Danny.

    I remember a few years doing an exercise checking temperature in the UK (the UK government is responsible for the benefits paid to pensioners to help them pay their winter fuel bills).

    London temperatures were compared with a temperature in central Scotland. These were them compared with the temperature in Reykjavik, Iceland.

    With very few exceptions, where the temperature in Reykjavik was higher than that of London, the general pattern was that the Central Scotland temperature and the temperature in Iceland were pretty close. The temperature in London was habitually much higher.

    So the payments to people in Scotland were the same as those to Londoners, despite the Scots having a climate closer to that of Iceland.

  7. Tris:

    Just like the BBC, in fact. I notice that on their weather forecasts that they go into far more detail about English weather and lump Scotland all in one.

    Do you not remember when the BBC brought in the new weather map around 2005 which was so tilted that Scotland was about the size of the Isle of Wight at the top?

    After a huge number of complaints they grudgingly untilted it a little bit but Scotland is still just a small area at the top.

    It's not really they Telegraph's fault. They've been using the BBC weather map to gauge the size of Scotland.

  8. I read in the Press & Journal the other day that the south-east of the country was possibly going to be getting temperatures of 27 degrees next week. Of course they don't mean round Peebles and Kelso but rather in Kent and Sussex. Why would anyone reading the Aberdeen Press and Journal care what the weather was going to be like in south east England? I came away feeling the DC Thomson had swindled me out of 5 miniutes of my life!

  9. LOL Doug. I think they all just share one map of Scotland, and to save money they made in unfeasibly small. LOL

  10. D C Thomson have been diddling people for many years, Munguin. I'm not sure why you though you would get away without it happening to you.

    Yes, that really annoys me: The south-east of the country is Kent, but the north-east is Newcastle!

    No wonder we get peed off.