"SCOTLAND IS NOT BLOODY SLOVENIA"; A GEOGRAPHY LESSON FROM SPUD

Mr Murphy, one time Scotland Secretary and now Shadow Defence Minister has complained that when David Cameron comes to Scotland he behaves like a foreign dignitary visiting a Balkan country. (I'm not sure why he chose Slovenia, or indeed the Balkans, for his little rant and he doesn't go on to explain it. Why not, I wondered, a Scandinavian country, like...erm...Norway? Oh no, wait a minute. That will be because we are nothing like Norway, for obvious reasons.)

Mr Murphy, described by the Telegraph as the most high profile Scot in Labour's ranks, was talking about the future campaign against the SNP's independence plans (which shows what they think of Iain Gray or the great administrator, Tom Harris).

Murphy has ruled out standing on a platform with David Cameron, whom, he says, comes to Scotland and stands in front of a Saltire and a Union Flag, and little else. This stance was echoed by the less well known, Iain Gray, who said that Labour would make its own arrangements to show why Britain is better. (Can't wait for that!)

Spud has got a point though. Cameron doesn't engage at all with Scots. He doesn't begin to understand the situation here, and I shouldn't think he cares. The country returns one Tory MP, and that's only Fluffy! It's hardly worth the effort.

He has made a few visits north of the border, but nothing of any real note. He has made a flying visit to the Tory conference, and of course there was the famous visit to the Queen's private estate when he kept her, and the National Anthem, waiting while he politicked with the crowd, and then left early the next day, giving the impression that the atmosphere had been frosty. (Added to which his wife wore an unsuitable trouser suit which she had borrowed to advertise the designer's work. I'm sure the Queen would have been thrilled that the traditional weekend she has to spend with the prime minister was being used as an advertisement for someone in the rag trade: "Paul Smith Clothing Company: Making clothes fit for a [visit to a] Queen"!

Fluffy Mundell, the Under Secretary at the Scotland Office, however, has some idea that all that is a show of respect by his leader for our country. Oh well, Fluffy, I suppose you have to say that, don't you. Otherwise you'd lose the very junior position you hold in government?

A spokesman for the First Minister responding to the comments from Murphy, noted that the unionist parties were fighting each other like ferrets in a sack, and the the FM had no desire to intrude upon the grief of the unionists who were losing the place and fast losing the constitutional debate in Scotland.

Pic: Jim (Spud) Murphy... what will happen to him when he loses his looks?