I WONDER IF THEY ALLOW HATS LIKE THIS IN WORMWOOD SCRUBS

At long last the awful Margaret Moran woman has been charged, and it was worth waiting for... 15 counts of false accounting and 6 of fraud.

How well I remember the morning, two years ago, when she was asked about the matter in a tv studio and denied it strenuously and furiously. This great podgy ball of indignation was, she said, going to sue the Daily Telegraph for defamation.

Aye, well that died a death pretty sharpish, didn’t it?

Instead she went on the sick (on full pay) just like so many of her colleagues, and kept a low profile, presumably hoping it would all blow over. But it didn’t. Bummer eh, Mags?

She improved and furnished (it is alleged) her main home, under a scheme designed to maintain a second home. She managed to claim for homes in London, Luton and Southampton (100 miles away from her constituency, and which turned out to be a man friend’s house). Additionally she passed false invoices on 7 occasions, allegedly, of course . Greedy cow (equally allegedly).

She is a bit of card though, is our Moran. She owns a home in Spain, and on one occasion, when she felt that her privacy was being violated, she put up a “No Trespassers” kind of notice, based on English law (which, horror of horrors, does not apply in Spain) typed, if you please, on House of Commons headed paper... presumably to give it some gravitas!

The only thing gravitas about her from what I can see, is her ample chest, and we all know what gravity does to that!

While she was away from work, on the sick, neglecting her constituents even more so than normal, she was caught bonny by a “Despatches” investigation. They set up a scam in which they had someone pose as an agent for a PR company looking for influential people who might like to lobby for them... and they caught out a good few grasping greedy troughers, who seemed to feel that they were worth around £4,000 a day, including one who, he confided, had been tipped the wink that he would go to the Lords, and that would be most useful to them. Erm...wooops.

Moran (remember she was on the sick, being paid from state funds), was ready to start as soon as the election was over, she told them, and offered access to all her girly mates in parliament including Harriet Harman.

I wish they had shown their stupid faces when they found out what asses they had made of themselves.

Anyway, I expect that the upside of prison life will be that the ample Ms Moran, like the Devine Jim, will come out a bit trimmer. Maybe her orange hat won’t look so hilariously stupid then.

Post Script: I see a young lad of previous good behaviour, in fact a hopeful for the Olympics, has been jailed for 8 months for stealing a pocket full of cigarettes. I wonder how long she'll get for all this defrauding and lying! What's the betting it ends up less?