Sunday 6 February 2011


For those of you who have been worrying yourself silly about the dangers to which His Royal Highness Prince Charles and the old dear he sort of lives with put themselves when they descend from the ivory tower that is Clarence House, and come into contact with “ordinary people”, commoners, red bloods, I can tell you that police protecting them and the rest of the royal family (including the totally useless York sisters), at VAST expense to you and me, are being issued with taser stun guns.

They are to be given the controversial non-lethal guns to supplement the conventional firearms that they carry at all times while guarding Very Important Persons.

And members of the Diplomatic Protection Squad, who stand guard over the prime minister and other so-called “dignitaries”, will also be issued with the stun guns which fire a dart into a suspect which can then deliver an electric charge of 50,000 volts.

When Charles and Cammy were attacked during the student demonstrations before Christmas, and protesters surrounded their car shouting "Off with their heads" and "Tory scum", the protection officers did very little except lock their vehicle doors and hope it would all go away.

The Metropolitan Police Commissioner Paul Stephenson said they had shown enormous restraint by not shooting the protestors. Yeah, good one. But can you imagine what would have happened if they’d killed a few !!!!!

So anyway, they had a review because it must never, never be allowed to happen again, and commanders have been told they can arm their squads with X26 Tasers, which have a range of 21 feet and can also give electric shocks at close quarters.

Although the police will still have their “killing” guns, they will have the option to use the tasers, if they think that killing protesters might, as it were, “backfire” on them.

It’s good to know that our beloved rulers will be protected from the people over whom they rule, with such a variety of weapons. It warms my heart to know that they will be kept safe.

Pics: (1) You can just see how happy Wills is to be left with the commoner, who looks a bit hacked off herself. (2) Taser gun trials... ouch, that looks sore. That will teach you to call HRH Tory scum. (3) The York Sisters... isn’t it nice to know that while everything else is being cut, there is no expense spared to keep these people, so vital to the running of our state, safe and protected


  1. Everyone knows that the state should have the right to decide and control violence, whether it be within or without its borders. The state can always be trusted to do what is best. Keep calm and carry on. Carry on I said. Carry... shit, fire the tasers...

  2. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Laz, I was only trying to give the old trout some flowers...

    Hemlock and Foxglove.... mmm lovely as a nightcap...

  3. winston ( no thinking cap required ) smithFebruary 07, 2011 12:14 am

    " Hemlock and Foxglove.... mmm lovely as a nightcap..."
    Ah so you have been reading the same murder books as me ?
    Do the York sisters have their thinking caps on in that pic ?
    Just wondered because some court down sarf said that some bloke was too thick to have sex.
    It got me thinking that the whole of the Royal family would be decimated over a generation if this rule was applied to them.
    So are they thinking caps ?

  4. Winston,

    I have the feeling I saw you in the proles part of town... be warned: Big Brother est deja parmi nous.

    I dunno about thinking caps. They certainly look vacant, but if they take after their parents, whilst there's not an ounce of intellectuality about them, they're as street wise as it's possible to be. They'll be at the money making pretty soon.

    I actually wrote the books on hemlock and foxglove.....

  5. The police management have nothing to gain, and everything to lose, by making internal efficiencies and reducing admin, and management, whilst maintaining a strong force on the street.

    If they let the men-on-the-beat numbers drop, we will notice, we may complain in large numbers and maybe in the end Clamycegg will be forced to let them have more money.

    Of course there will be no drop in money spent on protecting Very Important People.

    That is, I am certain, what all of us would wish. Sod our safety, as long as His Magesterial Magnificence (and his concubine) are safe, that's all that matters to me. God bless them, one and all

  6. Daily Mail readerFebruary 07, 2011 1:09 am

    If the police numbers drop does it mean they will have to change their 'modus operandi'
    That would be a terrible shame.
    I think "fit up the nutter" then switching to " ok he's innocent, interview every neighbour until one cracks" has been very effective up until now.
    Bloody Tories spoiling our obvious skills and takticks innit.

  7. The sister on the right with the big tits looks worth protecting. I bet she's had a goo tasering before now!

  8. The York girls both look as if they are being tasered right there.

  9. winston, does it matter even if stupidity doesn't prevent sex? The rich have set themselves up for population collapse, and even William's pathetic attempts at genetic diversity can't save them now.

  10. Hmmm... quite so DL

  11. Sounds like a plan OR

  12. Mxing with mud bloods, huh Laz... whatever next?

  13. laz..

    " William's pathetic attempts at genetic diversity "

    I'd diverse her genetics anytime phwoar ;)

    In other news someone has finally woken up poor Queenie and told her Christmas hols are over...

  14. The royal institution is te embodiment of the nation, it makes complete sense to increase their resources, resources used to represent us, defend or liberties.

    It makes sense, total sense, to cut back elsewhere to maintain the capacities for the spirit of the national folk, the Queen and her instution.

  15. Tris

    I'm not really sure where I stand on this but the student protesters were lucky they were not shot but had they been then I think it would had been political suicide for the Royals.

    I think the Royal protection officers felt that they were helpless in this situation because on one hand they had a duty to protect the Royals and on the other they did not want to shoot young protesters and if they had Tasers then they probably would had deployed them.

    On the issue of Tasers I only agree with them when used/carried by the armed response unit and should not be carried by ordinary police like in some test areas in Strathclyde where they have been deployed on some youths.

  16. Welcome back Dean.

    I wondered where you had gone. As I said I have no objection to starving as long as Princess Beatrix of York is safe while she is off on her gap year having fun all over the Earth with her friends and requiring to be guarded 24 x 7. Indeed if they need to close a few schools so that she may remain so, why not. Children don't appreciate education....

    If we stopped paying retirement pension to old people over 90 we could make enough to upgrade her sisters protection too. I wonder if I sold my liver and kidneys......

    God bless them all...

    He he Dean.... Glad to see you back!!

  17. Winston , give the old dear a break, she's 84 for goodness sake. She's the same age as that Thatcher woman, who wouldn't know a train from a plate on minestrone. Mind you she never knew what a train was, did she?

    Any way, at least she took the train at £40. If that had been Charlie Big Ears he would have had a rolls and a motorcade and it would ahve cost us £20,000 to drag his scraggy arse up to London.

    What on earth has she dribbled down her coat though. I did think BR did treacle sandwiches?

  18. Leeches in nature provide a function those 2 leeches keep the global economy boyunt.

  19. Allan,

    Welcome back to Munguinland.

    Och this is a light-hearted enough argument. Of course the Queen has to be protected, and even the idiot heir and his bint have to be protected.

    If they had fired a gun and if someone had been wounded or worse killed it could have been the end for the royal family. You can see the headline: "Peaceful protester Ben (19) dies so that heir to the throne can get to the theatre on time!"

    It was difficult for the officers on the ground. Of course it was Charles's fault. He insisted on going to the theatre in a Rolls although I gather he was warned of what was going on in London that night.

    He should have cancelled, or at least travelled in something a little less ostentatious. He [put himself, Mrs Parker-Bowles and much more important, his staff and the students in danger.

    He’s a selfish bastard though, and only Charlie’s way will do.

  20. I'm glad she is not my queen Escheats FAQ thieving *****.

  21. It's certainly true that he employs more personal staff than the rest of the Royals put together. But then he has a personal income of £18 million or so, per year, so along with a state income of about £15,000,000.

    Just think of the nurses we could get for that.

  22. CH: Do we know what happens in Scotland?


    The Queen has income from this as well as civil list

  24. Tris

    Good to be back thanks.

    Agreed, Charles is a selfish bas#ard and should had known better not to take himself and his ugly sidekick through a student protest.

    Off with their heads LOL, it would had saved the hard pressed taxpayers some much needed cash had their heads been swooped off though!

  25. And it appears they are further going to scorn the teachings of the Church of which he will (or may) become head, by making her Queen.

    What a joke the law of the land and of the Church is to these people.

    You people can't do this and still be in teh Church, but I can, and will, and I will be head of the Church.

    It's all a bunch of b******s


    She can be known as Queen Camilla the Ilegitimate.

  26. Offhand I don't because 1707 was a treaty and not a union of the crowns which is what is portrayed by the media and others. 1320 Arbroath still has a legal base that is why the current Scotland bill in passing bits back to the UK is liable to muddy the waters even further in their favour.

  27. Allan, what annoys me more than anything is the potential harm that he might have caused. We none of us want out nights out ruined, but sometimes we can't have what we want, and that is Chick's downfall. He can't understand the word NO.

  28. That will do for me. I have CH, what the french call "green thumbs"... which is a pity because it really looks a bit odd in formal settings.

    £15,000. Generosity unbounded.

    And you get to live abroad too.

  29. Daily Mail reader, I missed your comment earlier.

    Pick the village wierdo with the blue hair, then the neighbour who is a foreigner, is a tried and tested policy for policing. To change it now would simply cost more money.

    It would be as silly as trying to change the health service, or open a new type of school.

    No one would be that stupid at a time of cuts, would they?

  30. The Royals are the embodiment of the Nation Dean?

    I. Am. Fucking. Speechless.

  31. Tris,

    You wouldn't be calling for her to be left vulnerable to every wierdo with an obsession do you? If she is out there broadening her horizons, isn't that good for the royal family a a whole?

    I can recall when the Queens daughter was attacked in the car from that mad wierdo guy with a gun and an obsession ...

  32. p.s. the Queen hasnt had a pay rise in twenty years, I think she deserves to have a little in her old age.

  33. cynical..

    Sadly he seems to be real. And he was elected as President of the student Tories somewhere aswell so he may be your future leader ;)

  34. Dean: Why not? I am.

    What exactly is better about her?

  35. Dean. She is one of the richest women in the world. She is provided free transport, lodgings, and now Osborne, who admittedly probably didn't understand what he was doing, has been brow beaten by Charles into more or less doubling her income.

    Her family live nearly rent free. They too have transport wherever they go. Who else but Charlie and Mrs Parker Bowles could afford to take a Rolls a few streets in London to go to the theatre?

    You can't be suggesting that they are hard done by.

    There's an old lady in my street about the same age as the Queen. I understand that when she turned 80, she got a 25p addition to her pension.

    25p??????????? What a bloody insult.

    If it is good enough for an old lady in Dundee, why is it not good enough for an old lady in London? Are they made of different stuff, or just had different luck?

  36. What's that you say Conan? You don't feel the Queen embodies you?

    Ah, well, strangely, neither do I, or anyone else I know.

  37. Mr Janus, You'd better start being nice to him then. One day you may depend on him for your seat in the House of Lords!!

  38. Cynical,

    You have to admit that Dean livens up these post on royalty.

    We'd all just agree, otherwise, to a greater or lesser degree, what should be done when we rid Scotland of them.

  39. Dean said

    " If she is out there broadening her horizons, isn't that good for the royal family a a whole? "

    2 months Christmas break at Sandringham isn't exactly getting down with the people. A seperate train carriage with 10 guards is also a bit of a discouragement to engagement with the people.


    I'd prefer it if Dean would fix me up with a cushy EU job. 4 day week on £200K - sorted !
    That was fun seeing our EU 'High Representative' Baroness Ashton lecturing the Greeks on 'real democracy'. The unelected lizard is more deluded than I thought :)
    Never even been elected to a church raffle committee in her puff and sitting on £320K.
    I wonder if she's still organising the funds for the Commies ?

  40. I meant our 'High Reptilian' lecturing the Egyptians. Not that it matters. No one noticed anyway.

  41. Yes Hugh. There is always a measure of irony on the Brits lecturing the rest of the world on democracy (and the Greeks, who invented it, in particular) when they have an unelected head of state, and unelected senate and a FPTP lower house where 2/3 of seats are sinecures.

    A less democratic state would be hard to find.

    Mrs Ashton is a particularly good example of this in action, as you point out.

  42. Conan,

    How can you do that and type at the same time?


    Don't believe anything that old lady from Dundee tells you. She only said that so that you would buy her a drink before you went back to her place!

    I wonder if our beloved Queenie picks up her own pension or does one of the flunkeys do it for her? She must have made a few bob on the old Family Allowance.

  43. John: You should never underestimate Conan's ability to multitask. His library must be a most interesting place.

    As for the old lady, all I can say is that jealousy is a dreadful thing, and it doesn't suit you well.

    I expect the Queen must have done quite well on it. After all, after Charles, you really wouldn't go on having them if there were not some financial gain to be had...

  44. " after Charles, you really wouldn't go on having them "

    One heard that !
    Does Camila have William's ring on her finger in that top photo ? Looks like it by William's expression. That's sweet. Kate has Dianas old ring on her finger you know.

  45. Welcome to the Republic YRH

    Who knows what's on her finger. She's been round the block a couple of times. Doesn't look too good on it either. Still, you look about 85 so I suppose you can't afford to be too fussy.

    Waste not want not mate.

    No point in spending the family money on rings, and even Osborne isn't thick enough to let you have it on the state, is he?

  46. Silvio Berlusconi does allright and he's 74.

  47. Yeah, granted, but he looks half Chick's age

  48. Chow
    Mubarak is 82 and looks even better than me.
    Just For Men must have an outlet over in shitsville.

  49. Ciao Sylvio bello

    Actually Robert Mugabe is very nearly 87 and he looks better than either of you. So there you pompous old sausage!

    Badness must have its own rewards, huh?

    (No offense intended!!)

  50. I'm 90 and look better than all you guys.

  51. Yes sir, you surely do sir. Goodness I thought you were only 28.

    Please don't publish anything about me in the News of the World. I'll tap the rest of these phones for you in the morning. I promise.

    PS: If you are going to publish these picture, would you mind putting them in the Sunday Times. I'm not bloody Peter Andre after all.

  52. Oi.I heard that ! Is you saying I is cheap ?

  53. Yes. And a useless ride aswell.

  54. Erm you two. THIS IS NOT THE DAILY STAR.

  55. Daily Star readerFebruary 09, 2011 4:11 pm

    Katie ..........WE LUV U XXX LOL !!!

  56. Daily Star reader...

    Yes dear, of course you do. Now get out you play dough and make a nice snowman so you can show mummy when she comes to pick you up.

  57. daily * supporterFebruary 10, 2011 1:51 am

    U saying i is thick innit ?

  58. Yeah man that what i iz sayin, innit. Coz u iz man, innit. u get me?