RULE BRITANNIA... BRITANNIA RULES THE WORLD

Gordon Brown in some sort of mistaken notion that he was the Chinese or American President, or some other sort of world statesman ordered the Pakistani President to kill Osama bin Laden.

Apparently the President was not happy at his tone.

Yesterday Mr Cameron, equally deluded, was minded to employ his 9 whole months of experience of government, by lecturing the Egyptian President about what he should be doing with his little bit of trouble.

Where on Earth do these people get off?

Firstly I can’t help but think that if Messers Brown and Cameron were in the habit of addressing themselves to issues in the UK, then perhaps we wouldn’t find ourselves in the parlous state that we do, and secondly, what is it about British Prime Ministers that make them think that they know best about things that are happening on the other side of the world.

How would Brown or Cameron like it if they got a call from the Chinese president, giving them instructions about how to have a successful Olympics or from the Qataris, pointing out that it was barbaric to pepper spray protesting students?

The days of London running the world are over. Live with it. Get your heads down and try to find a sensible way of sorting out the mess that is Britain. See if you can find a way to employ all the people for whom there are no jobs; see if you can find a way of dealing with the worst crime rates and highest prison population in Western Europe; and while you’re at the tackle the drugs issues, teenage pregnancies, education that sees people with degrees but unable to spell simple words and punctuate a paragraph. Deal with issues like the woman who testified yesterday that the hospital (in England) where she went for a small operation, was so dirty that she went in for a week’s stay and ended up being there for 18 months, suffering from C Diff, E-Coli and MRSA.

Do something about the joke that is the British Railways system, where the prices are around double and the service around half the European average, and where believe it or not, they are putting up prices by 3 times inflation in order to discourage people from using the service, because they simply cannot cope.

Sort the bloody pot holes in the roads. We pay between £120 and £250 a year in road tax, not to mention the most expensive petrol in the world, and our roads are like Yak tracks in Nepal. Cars are shaken to bit and springs are broken on a daily basis.

Do something about building affordable rented houses so that we stop this ideologically driven nonsense that even the poorest can own their own homes. Home ownership is for rich people who can afford to deal with the re-roofing, or damp coursing that comes along from time to time. Not poor people who struggle to get by to have enough money for food by the end of the month.

And do something about the crap you expect our pensioners to live with. No surprises that Britain has the lowest pension as a proportion of average wage, in all of Europe, and many live in penury.

That’s what running a country is about. Not lecturing Egyptians about how to deal with riots or telling Pakistan who to assassinate.

Oh and if your reason for thinking that you have the right to do any of that is (as mine is for lecturing you) that Britain gives aid to these countries (as I pay my taxes to you)...then stop giving them aid. It is us that needs aid. Our pensioners, our hospitals, our roads.

Shape up or ship out.

Pics: Fresh faced and busy tailed as ever, the sleeping ugly; Hosni, looking well Browned off at being lectured by Cameron; Osama, Osama, where for art thou Osama? (Ok, I know it doesn't mean where!); Don't you think that Egypian riots have a golden glow compared with the grey ones we have here? Birl on it Hosni, I is de boss, because I is British, innit.