Monday 21 February 2011

IAIN GRAY'S STAND-UP COMEDY ROUTINE

Iain Gray really is a card, isn't he? After last week’s opinion poll put the SNP ahead by 10% and gave him a very embarrassing 33% on “satisfaction” compared with Eck’s 51%, he said that Mr Salmond had been in parliament for 20 years and was a one man band, so it was not surprising.


Eh?

Well, I’d put it this way Elmer: The SNP has been in government for 4 years at a difficult time when initially the grumpy Mr Brown was tighter with Scotland’s grant than he had ever been with a Labour government in Edinburgh; the BBC and the newspapers have consistently called him out on every little thing, sometimes deliberately bending the facts so that they can make him and the SNP look bad, and as for a one man band (snigger), if it were true, it would be a deal better than being a broken record, with no live musicians.

In fact it is not true. The SNP is a veritable phiharmonic orchestra by comparison with Labour. The front bench of Cabinet Secretaries and their ministers are first rate. John Swinney, in particular, has been a magician with money. If I’d not actually been in the man’s office I’d swear he had a printing press on his desk running of BoS £100 notes. And it is disingenuous of Gray not to acknowledge the excellence of the Deputy First Minister and Cabinet Secretary for Health whose strong showings at FMQs in Mr Salmond’s rare absences and on television shows such as "Question Time" have been excellent.

In fact if I were in charge of the SNP campaign, one of the posters I’d produce would show the difference between the senior front bench team and their Labour shadows. The comparison is laughable.

Gray also denied that Wendy Alexander’s notice of her intention to stand down to “spend more time with her family” was as a result of his refusing to offer her a cabinet seat in his government if he were to win the General Election in May. He answered, with a patronising and sexist remark, saying that it was difficult for women with small children in politics and felt that perhaps the family friendly hours of parliament hasn’t helped enough.

Yes Elmer. You can say that all you like, but we’re not buying it.

In fact he then went on to have a dig at Mrs Alexander by bragging that Labour had been behind in the polls by 16% when he took over as leader. And since then he had gone "head-to-head with Alex Salmond in Glenrothes, in Glasgow north east and in last year’s General Election – on every occasion I have won and I have won well.”

There was me thinking that the General Election last year and the Glenrothes and Glasgow by-elections were contests for the London, England parliament, which would have been the responsibility of Gordon Brown and Spud Murphy. What with Mr Gray not having a clue what Mr Brown and Mr Murphy thought about Mr Al Megrahi, I would have assumed there must be very little communication between London Labour and it’s Edinburgh Office. Only on some things maybe?


Pics: (1) Nah, please, don’t, I’ll try to make the next joke better! (2) Who’s she burying? I mean he wasn’t THAT bad Nicola. (3) That’s how wide she can open Mr Gray. I’d get on the phone and offer her Justice if I were you. (The numpty you have there is useless!) (4) Just so there’s not favouritism here’s a pic of Nicola, she’ll wish had never gone out... or maybe she was just trying to remember Elmer’s real name.

50 comments:

  1. I won't have you blaming Wendy Alexander's resignation on me. The wee lesbian was just miffed because I wouldn't give her one.

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  2. I would have given her one and a job as well.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. EGF, DL, JB:

    You people are lowering the tone of this blog. And that's not easy.

    Smarten up guys; we're starting to look tabloid, or worse still Hootsmanish.

    Some cerebral input woudn't go amiss!

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  5. @Tris, the comments are not below standard for nat contributions, in my experience.

    As for Gray being a comic: at FMQs last week he attacked Salmond on Renfrewshire's attempts to dilute their teaching staff. Salmond was suitably noisy and nasty and had to have his mic turned off by the presiding officer (not an easy task as the PO is a wimp of the highest order).

    Cue great glee among nats: Gray is useless, Salmond is wonderful.

    But...

    I read in today's Herald...

    http://breakingnews.heraldscotland.com/breaking-news/?mode=article&site=hs&id=N0083831298311245395A

    ..that Renfrewshire Council has dropped its plans to dilute their teaching staff.

    I make that two victiories for Gray.

    One, he got Salmond to rant even more than usual, try to ignore the question, insult his peers, reveal his true personality and, naturally, disgrace himself and his position and get a rebuke from the Parliament.

    Two, he got the SNP's policy to dilute teaching staff reversed.

    Not bad for a stand-up.

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  6. BTW, as I said, the comments about Wendy as a woman are not unusual for nat blogs, but they're still disgusting. No decent person would want to be associated with them.
    If you're the mod you should delete them and ban the writers (at least for a time) IMO.

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  7. Braveheart - The Renfrewshire Council reversal on teaching staff had nothing to do with Gray or Labour.

    It was the thousands of ordinary people who were against these proposals, including SNP voters, that got them to change their mind. Labour as usual just jumped on the bandwagon.

    Why would someone proud to support an English-funded and run party such as Labour call themselves Braveheart? Surely Quisling would be a more apt name.

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  8. @Billy. You mean the SNP in Renfrewshire thought that cutting front-line education would be popular? And they were so surprised that they gave in to unexpected popular resistence?

    You obviously have no respect for the SNP leadership in Renfrewshire if you think they're that daft.

    The SNP in Renfrewshire decided to cut education, Gray raised it with Salmond, Salmond leant on the party in Renfrewshire, the party in Renfrewshire caved in.

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  9. Braveheart said..

    " If you're the mod you should delete them and ban the writers (at least for a time) IMO. "

    How very open and democratic of you. This will be why labour luvvy blogs are as dull as an Elmer speech. Any hint of fun or of an opposing view is deleted.
    There are already enough bloggers deleting stuff that offends their viewpoint making the blogosphere dull and uninteresting.

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  10. @Monty, I have no problem with open and even robust argument.

    But there have to be standards, and sexually based attacks on female politicians are not on. It is not part of any political discussion. It's just nasty and creepy and, IMO, it shows up the psychology of those who indulge in it.

    You may have lower standards than me, but that's not my fault, and I will not lower mine.

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  11. " You may have lower standards than me, but that's not my fault, and I will not lower mine. "


    Do you not think you're just being a bit precious and have this rose tinted view of the world ? There are millions of boring luvvy blogs for you to visit so why come here and try and make this one the same ?
    Wendy Alexander etc get an easy time in the MSM in Scotland. They wouldn't dare investigate the numerous scandals, corruption and hypocrisy associated with the Labour party.

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  12. @Monty, no I don't think I'm being precious.

    Nasty personal sexualised comments against (usually female) politicians are just not up to a decent standard. And I don't come here to have to respond to that type of non-sense.

    BTW, Tris agrees with me...

    @8.57....."tris said...EGF, DL, JB: ou people are lowering the tone of this blog....And that's not easy..Smarten up...."

    Why don't you?

    This is supposed to be a political blog, but I see precious little political opinion being exchanged. Like to try?

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  13. BH: thanks for letting me know what kind of blog I have! I was all in the dark hitherto your input.

    Also thanks for you suggestions for who should be banned and for what the comment policy ought to be. Would you care to write the blog as well while you are about it?

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  14. Brave said..

    " This is supposed to be a political blog, but I see precious little political opinion being exchanged. Like to try? "

    Well I'd appreciate it if you could tell me...

    Why Gray wasn't told what London labour were up to re Megrahi.
    Why Gray called Montenegro 'war criminals and guilty of genocide '
    Why there has been no investigation into Devines 'friendly printer' story.
    Why there has been no investigation into Purcell/ drugs/ Glasgow corruption
    Why Gordon Brown still gets paid despite never visiting parliament
    Why Wendy resigned
    Why Labour get a free reign to trash the coalitions economic plans despite leaving us with £1.4 trillion in debt
    Why there was no investigation into the Glenrothes postal vote scam.
    Why Glasgow is still the most deprived part of Europe despite 13years of London Labour and 70 years of Glasgow labour.
    Why labour MPs quickly dump their hatred of the ermine and take up a seat in the upper house.

    Because I've never seen it explained in the Scottish MSM.

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  15. Having read that comment again I see that it is only “supposed” to be a political blog. There is that snide, sneering superciliousness that is so at the heart of unionist attitudes. You are of course I guess implying that this so called blog is beneath you. If it is please feel free to A. Not read it. And B. Not comment on it. That way we will all get along just fine! God knows I never read yours!

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  16. Is it not supposed to be a political blog?

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  17. It's something called "humour" Braveheart.

    I see by your blog you are unfamiliar with the concept.

    The above posters were all quite complimentary, and indeed generous to Wendy; they all wanted to give her "one", whereas I would need, at least six pints first.

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  18. Brae Fart drags his sorry whining arse around the blogosphere like a sack of wet keech. He has been spotted on many blogs with his demented circular arguing. A bit like the inmates on the cyber asylum called The Scotsman, owned by England.

    It is my opinion that he emanates from the Dover House gang who have sod all to do all day but do down Scotland. Their boss Michael Moore has to be one of the most embarrassing creepy politicians in the land as he sits in meetings about Scotland and stays silent that is if he bothers to turn up. It is a vomit inducing legacy of the quislings of the union. Brae Fart is but a tiny wee speck in the eye of Scotland, irrelevant, sad and pathetic. Ignore the idiot.

    The picture of Wee demented Wendy reminds me of the disgraceful comments made by Gray Iain about Montenegro and the picture that went around Scotland and Montenegro of the arrogant little dwarf sitting over Gray Iains shoulder as he smeared himself and Scotland using terms like "ethnic cleansing and genocide," in relation to Montenegro, and the horrible bitch laughing like a hyena on acid. What truly vile people exist on the benches of London Labour in Scotland. Thank God she is going. Good riddance to a very bad smell.

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  19. Tris

    A couple of comments.

    It looks like even the Hootsmon is now seeing past all the spin that Labour have been putting out. The leader is hidden behind the paywall but the headline speaks for its self.

    http://news.scotsman.com/opinion/Leader-Spinning-of-crime-figures.6722179.jp

    Tris see you are getting in depth comments from Braveheart. He wrote some p!sh about how the financial deficit was everyones fault apart from Brown. I wrote that the note "there is no money left" is the only honest thing Labour wrote in 13 years. Funnily enough brave?heart did not publish it. I wonder why.

    Darkie

    I still have that emergency appointment with Specksavers for you, you need help.

    Conan

    Only six pints!

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  20. Braveheart,

    I will certainly not take lessons on standards of behaviour from someone who blindly supports a party responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocents and the displacement of millions.

    If Tris or Munguin find attempts at humour inappropriate then it is up to them to do something about it.

    At the end of the day humour is much preferable to deceit which has become the trade-mark of your party and it's leaders.

    Incidentally, the First Minister of this country has to shout when answering Gray to make himself heard about the braying jeering rabble of nodding-dogs, conducted by Foulkes, in the benches behind him.

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  21. Wendy's brother, Douglas, was on Newsnight last night.
    Most amusing. He seems to have adopted the Ed Balls affliction of blinking when he tells lies ( obviously Douglas blinked through the whole of Paxos interview).
    Despite aircraft bombing unarmed Libyans and firing large calibre weapons into crowds of demonstators Douglas refused to condemn Gaddafi and tell him to go. All very queer. Are labour in a parallel Universe or something ?

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  22. Seen in today's Dundee Evening Telegraph. Wendy is the Wayne Rooney of politics. I think Wendy is better looking personally.

    http://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/output/2011/02/22/letters.shtm



    Wayne and Wendy
    Is it just me, or has anybody else noticed aspects of Wayne Rooney’s professional life are mirrored by Wendy Alexander MSP?

    Wayne has entered the last two World Cup Finals on the back of great reviews and was cited by football pundits to be the player most likely to light up the tournament. Sadly, Wayne failed to deliver for the people of England.

    Wendy entered the world of Scottish politics on the back of great reviews and was cited by political pundits as the politician most likely to light up the drab world of Scottish politics.

    Sadly, Wendy failed to deliver for the people of Scotland. — Concerned Citizen

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  23. Conan

    Six pints and you would give her one do me a favour three pints and you cant get a hard on six pints and you just fall over......

    Now when you waz a younger man but those days are long gone

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  24. Alex Salmond? Nah, I dont want the head boy, I want the matron auntie Bella

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  25. Braveheart:

    Nothing much for me to say, as I've been unable to get to a computer all day, and all my mates appear to have said it for me.

    I was joking when I suggested to people who have been commenting on here since the blog started, that they should raise their game.

    Within reasonable bounds people can say what they want on here. No one crosses these boundaries as a rule. None has here.

    A bit of humour mixed with serious discussion is to my taste, and Munguin has yet to tell me to stop it, so that leaves you that doesn't like it....

    The solution seems simple to me.

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  26. Good questions Monty. I'd not mind an answer to these questions... Of course the likelihood of getting one is pretty slight.

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  27. LOL Conan... 6 pint of single malt!

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  28. LOL @ KBW....

    I always found on the Hootsman, that the people who had the most ridiculous things to say were the Labourites in their demented support of a party which is completely intellectually bankrupt.. well, financially too!

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  29. Bloody Hell Bubs... I can hardly believe it. Labour lies its backside off for 4 years, and finally it gets too blatent for even the Scotsman (printed in England) to ignore.

    I didn't know you had to pay for that trash though. I wonder how many paying subscribers they have... Do you reckon it makes 3 figures?

    I loved the comment:

    "Editorial software malfunction at The Northbrit.

    Error 101255: criticism of Labour Party has caused a critical system malfunction"

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  30. John: It's true to say that Alex doesn't shout when dealing with the Tories or the Liberals, but then neither of them, as a rule, behave like drunken year 10 kids on a coach trip.

    I am always so ashamed when the PO says that they have visitors in from somewhere else in the world. Labour is such a bloody embarrassment.

    As for hunmour. I'll let people know if I think they have gone too far, but I won't bar people, except as an absolute last resort.

    I truly doubt there is anyone who comments on this blog that wouldn't tone it down if I asked nicely.

    Barring people achieves nothing. It never has.

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  31. Monty:

    Jeez, I saw wee Dougie on the telly earlier talking about Dave in Kuwait... and although I probably agreed with the thrust of his argument, I had after the first few minutes, lost the will to live. That man could bore for England.

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  32. Desperate Dan: There's not a lot in it between the three of you. Wayne, Wendy and Dan... Triplets.

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  33. Niko: I'm just a bit concerned that you should know what Conan was like when he was a younger man. Would you like to explain... No, upon reflection, don't!

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  34. Really Dean... You see, public shool boys always have a fixation with matron. It's been the cause of half the bother in the world!!! Mark my words.

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  35. tris and assorted Nat malcontents


    Braveheart doesn't come here to be insulted


    unlike meself that is

    Altough he shows he is not very Brave hasnt much Heart.
    I know we will change his Avatar to

    'Timidtoes

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  36. Who's malcontented here Niko... Not us!

    We have the best government we could possibly have, and things are looking up compared with a couple of weeks ago.

    But you know I'd never insult you, not knowingly anyway.

    As for timidtoes, well, he does seem to have had a sense of humour bypass, doesn't he?

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  37. Oh dear Dean... I wish I'd learned to type. I meant public "school" boys.

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  38. You can stay on your own site and be insulted Niko...

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  39. Poor old Nat mugs Hootsman feigning criticism of the ruling Labour party just to gain some credibility with the soft Nat vote..


    Then at the critical time announce after giving it some deep thought they will after all advise
    the Scottish people to vote for the Labour Party.


    after all there is only 140,000 votes in it that and the postal vote will be enough to see our Iain sail through the winning post

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  40. EWWWWWWWW Cunning Niko. Now why didn't we think of that?

    I see you're going for the old postal votes ploy agains this year... well, can't say I blame you. It's served you well in the past.

    I guess you guys got the idea when one of our lot said "You'd need to be dead to vote Labour"....

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  41. Mr Mxy

    No one would compare you to faintheart, you at least allow comments that are critical of the p!sh you usually publish.

    I was going to say "at least you have the balls to publish critical comments" until I remembered that after May you will not have the balls.

    You will go through with your pledge Mr Mxy, or will it be just another Labour broken promise.

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  42. Dubs

    I spose i could always say it was a manifesto promise

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  43. Are niko and braveheart for real? Oh, sorry, they are Labour trolls ... my mistake ...

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  44. Dean

    Do not knock Niko. He does not run away and hide, even though he talks rubbish at times.

    Anyone who thinks Elmer would make a third rate politician must be talking rubbish.

    Niko, Labours favorite saying is "an aspiration not a manifesto commitment" Both a load of balls no matter which way you look at it.

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  45. Niko: If it's a manifesto promise, it doesn't count at all.. it's like a plastic promise!

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  46. Now Dea. Niko may be a Labour troll, but he's OUR Labour troll and we love him to bits....

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  47. LOL... I'd be worried if Iain Gray was one of my local councillors, never mind my First Minister, Dubs.

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