CAMERON...AND THE BIG SOCIETY'S DRAINS

Comedian Bill Bailey has a nice turn of phrase.

The Labour supporting politician pretty much sums up the UK political leaders for the Huffington Post.

Of the Liberals he says that soon all that will be left of them is some flowers tied to a fence. David Cameron, he describes as "congealed laminated weasel".

He thinks UKIP are a troupe of sozzled berks who want an electric fence at Dover and a a "no women in the bar" rule.

And of Ed he says... "He's like a plastic bag in a tree. No one knows how it got up there and no one can be bothered to get it down".

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Michael Fabricant has been sacked as a deputy chairman of the Conservative Party for tweeting "about time" over the demise of the ex-culture secretary, Maria Miller. He says he was asked to resign, refused and so Greg Shapps sacked him.

In further gossip from the Tory party, it is rumoured that George Osborne was behind Miller's decision to "resign" as she was dominating the news, when he wished to dominate it. 

(Of course when I say dominate and Tory in the same sentence some of you may be the idea that there was something sexual behind it, but as far as Minguin can make out no such deviation occurred...not that they'd tell him anything!

What I thought was interesting about this situation was that Michael was sacked for a tweet, and Maria had the confidence of the prime  minister after stealing tens of thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money. Funny old party... funny old country.
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David Cameron appears to have lost the plot, In his Easter message to religious leaders at Downing Street, he claimed that he is carrying out the work of Christ. Jesus invented the Big Society 2000 years ago, he told them, and he was simply carrying on the good work.

Meanwhile down at the food bank there were volunteers thinking that it might have been a better idea if he hadn't bothered, and wondering how it was that you fed 5000 out of 5 loaves and 2 tins of supermarket own brand tuna.

Then, having likened himself to Christ, he went on to compare himself to a drain cleaner. (He's versatile; you have to give him that.)

He urged church leaders to do more to serve Jesus's Big Society (Jesus/Cameron...whatever) and indicated that if they encountered any problems with that, they should think of him as a giant dyno-rod.

I'm sure you'll agree that the less said about that, the better.
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Meanwhile Anas Sarwar's brilliant scheme to involve blue blooded Labour in the campaign, and Lord Robertson of Gaelic Doesn't Exist's part in it, continue to attract press coverage. Unfortunately for Anas, not the kind that he is accustomed to.

TORY POLICY ON PLANNING IN ENGLAND SEEMS CONFUSED

I’m glad that the Calman Commission rejected any calls from whichever quarters to repatriate Scottish Planning decisions to England.

I suspect that nuclear power stations were our biggest worry at the time. But now, of course, we would have reason to worry about the relaxation of planning regulations, and the instruction to local planning authorities that there should be a “presumption in favour of sustainable developments” when looking at building permits.

Well... of course, only if you don’t have a minister as your MP.

Because, unbeknownst to us, there are ministers who fight tooth and nail against developments in their own constituencies while advocating the laissez faire policy elsewhere.

The Telegraph, no less, that bastion of Torydom has blown the whistle on a few of them.

Eric Pickles criticised the previous government’s attempts to relax planning regulations, fearing “sprawling housing estates dumped by Whitehall on green land”. Clearly, as he is so closely involved with this project, these sprawling estates are now a good, rather than a bad thing.

Gideon signed a petition against the development of an energy plant in his constituency.

Joan Hanham, the ex Tory leader of Kensington & Chelsea Council, and now a junior minister in the Communities Dept, even objected to a memorial garden for Diana in her constituency, but is pushing this legislation from her place on the red benches.

Justine Greening (Putney) is a supporter of the Thames Super Sewer project, but she doesn't want it tunnelled from her own constituency. Michael Fabricant has objected to a development in his own constituency but, as a Whip will be pushing people through the lobby to support the government and Grant Shapps, the housing minister, has also opposed plans for thousands of new houses in his Welwyn Hatfield constituency.

But the pièce de résistance has to be the cities minister Greg Clark (above), the person responsible for the legislation, who fought a development in his own constituency warning that it would cause "yet more pressure on our precious green spaces". Clark has now, in an incredible volte face unbelievably accused those who criticise his legislation of displaying “nihilistic selfishness” for trying to stop people getting on the housing ladder.

Sheesh! You couldn’t make these people up.

With every day I am more relieved that this awful coalition have little remit in Scotland. Life must be getting day by day more impossible in England.

PS: I have a great idea for a massive housing estate of affordable houses and houses for rent. I'm going to propose it for the space right behind, at the side of and in front of this nice family mansion in Oxfordshire (top pic). I can see no reason why it should be turned down, and if it is I will go straight to the local MP.