CAMERON...AND THE BIG SOCIETY'S DRAINS

Comedian Bill Bailey has a nice turn of phrase.

The Labour supporting politician pretty much sums up the UK political leaders for the Huffington Post.

Of the Liberals he says that soon all that will be left of them is some flowers tied to a fence. David Cameron, he describes as "congealed laminated weasel".

He thinks UKIP are a troupe of sozzled berks who want an electric fence at Dover and a a "no women in the bar" rule.

And of Ed he says... "He's like a plastic bag in a tree. No one knows how it got up there and no one can be bothered to get it down".

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Michael Fabricant has been sacked as a deputy chairman of the Conservative Party for tweeting "about time" over the demise of the ex-culture secretary, Maria Miller. He says he was asked to resign, refused and so Greg Shapps sacked him.

In further gossip from the Tory party, it is rumoured that George Osborne was behind Miller's decision to "resign" as she was dominating the news, when he wished to dominate it. 

(Of course when I say dominate and Tory in the same sentence some of you may be the idea that there was something sexual behind it, but as far as Minguin can make out no such deviation occurred...not that they'd tell him anything!

What I thought was interesting about this situation was that Michael was sacked for a tweet, and Maria had the confidence of the prime  minister after stealing tens of thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money. Funny old party... funny old country.
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David Cameron appears to have lost the plot, In his Easter message to religious leaders at Downing Street, he claimed that he is carrying out the work of Christ. Jesus invented the Big Society 2000 years ago, he told them, and he was simply carrying on the good work.

Meanwhile down at the food bank there were volunteers thinking that it might have been a better idea if he hadn't bothered, and wondering how it was that you fed 5000 out of 5 loaves and 2 tins of supermarket own brand tuna.

Then, having likened himself to Christ, he went on to compare himself to a drain cleaner. (He's versatile; you have to give him that.)

He urged church leaders to do more to serve Jesus's Big Society (Jesus/Cameron...whatever) and indicated that if they encountered any problems with that, they should think of him as a giant dyno-rod.

I'm sure you'll agree that the less said about that, the better.
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Click to enlarge

Meanwhile Anas Sarwar's brilliant scheme to involve blue blooded Labour in the campaign, and Lord Robertson of Gaelic Doesn't Exist's part in it, continue to attract press coverage. Unfortunately for Anas, not the kind that he is accustomed to.

LORD HELP US...

George's 'Paradise Lost' speech went down like the Titanic
We should remember that, for him, the end of the UK is the end of him being important.
It is no wonder he is so passionate about maintaining
 his station in life and the income that goes with it

Earlier this week it was reported that Anas Sarwar had somewhat grandly, appointed a gaggle of peers (Wiki tells me that the collective noun for Lards is "house", but I think gaggle is more fitting) to reinvigorate the NO campaign's argument. The idea was to bring something fresh and positive to the debate; the positive case for the union that we all been waiting for these many years.

Among this 'gaggle' was The Noble Baron, the Lord Robertson of Port Ellen, whose aristocratic line stretches back ...ohhhh,... more than 14 years. 

And it fell to this noble aristocrat to kicked off for Labour and their new positive approach to the importance to the people of Scotland of remaining a part of the United Kingdom, which as the Tories keep telling us, is the most successful union of countries in the known universe, ever.

In a speech in New York, His Lordship held nothing back. We all know by now, the contents of this speech. (If not the BBC report it at the previous link.) Was there ever so much positivity in one room at one time, I ask myself.

Unfortunately for the No campaign, the reaction form the public and the press in the UK has been rather less enthusiastic than they might have hoped for, as is illustrated by the cuttings displayed above.

Still we do have the contribution of the 'merry' old soul, the Noble Baron, the Lord ffoulkes, to look forward to!

That should be fun... I wonder if it will involve dancing in the street!

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Spoke too soon, huh...

When will prime ministers learn that the fastest way to a red face is backing someone who has broken rules, pocketed more money that most of us will ever see, treated officials with disdain, appears to have threatened newspapers, and then makes an apology that isn't even slightly apologetic?

Maria '£1.2 million profit' Miller has resigned, after taking account of the feelings in the Conservative Party, not, you'll note, the country, nor even her constituency. 

She was reported to be close to tears and wishing she could have stayed. (My counsel to her is not to worry. There are almost as many opportunities to fiddle from the backbenches as there are from the ranks of ministers.)

In another hammer blow to Cameron's authority, it was the backbenchers who hounded her out of office, and not the prime minister.

Still, I have a feeling that perhaps she could be useful to the Treasury now that she is free of ministerial briefs herself.

After all if she can turn around that sort of profit on a house, wouldn't it be an idea for her to advise Gideon. He seems to be nothing but a dead loss.

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Pasties for supper... how jolly!

Bless him though, our Gid does his best. I'm not sure for whom he does it, but I'm sure it's his best.

The shame of it is that his best is simply, as "Private Eye" would say, "piss poor".

It seems that despite the rosy glow in which our beloved chancellor painted the state of the UK's finances only a few weeks ago, he neglected to count in £100 billion of debt, that must have dropped behind the settee when he was doing his sums, and was inconveniently found by the cleaner just this week when she gave the place a good once over.

Cameron and Osborne are the luckiest guys alive. If there was anything like ministerial material on the Labour front benches, they'd be looking at oblivion next May. As it is, they look like walking it...

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