KEIR HARDIE DIED 100 YEARS AGO TODAY

I WISH JEREMY CORBYN A SUCCESSFUL PARTY CONFERENCE, DESPITE THE NAYSAYERS

A FEW RANDOM THOUGHTS ... BEING WITHOUT THE INTERWEB

So, there was an outAGE that caused outRAGE as a BT exchange went down in Edinburgh causing internet services all over the east of Scotland, Northern England, and Northern Ireland to fail. So I was offline for 24 hours. It’s the first time for ages I’ve been without internet, and it’s scary how many times I thought... oh, I’ll just check that up on the net... only to remember that I didn’t actually have the net.

I was even forced to watch BBC 24 to find out what was happening, and while I was watching, for the first time in ages I actually ironed some shirts! So it’s not all bad.

Of course I caught all the news about the bombers from Yemen and their printer bomb. It’s strange, or perhaps it’s not, that I trust politicians so little as to wonder if the whole thing could have been a massive hoax by the West, to buoy up public support for the billions that is spent on anti-terrorism. The most awful thing about it was the appearance on TV of the odd Theresa May. That woman’s voice grates so much that I have a message for the terrorists. They have punished us enough! No more already!!. Talking about punishment, was that a chain, and I mean a real chain, that the Home Secretary had around her neck. She looked as if she’d called in at a press conference after being at some sort of bondage party. Or maybe that's what they are going to do to criminals now that they are closing prisons!

I guess that threw up a slightly more serious question. If we expect our male politicians to show up wearing suits and shirts and ties, can we not expect that the female ones try to look a little less kinky?

Of course, because the BBC is virtually a part of the Labour Party, we had to have full coverage of the chimps’ tea party that is Scottish (huh) Labour having their conference. Scottish (huh) Labour of course had Miliband the younger along. We got the tired old story from him about SNP broken promises. Not that we’ve not heard it before or anything, but... well, as they say, “the old ones are the best”.

Now it doesn’t surprise me that Iain Gray doesn’t understand minority government. As I’ve said before I wouldn’t let Iain Gray run a message. But I thought that Miliband would have grasped the political inevitable that, whatever is in your manifesto, if you are a minority government, you depend upon the opposition parties having the best interests of the country at heart... and his party, from day one, only had its best interests at heart. Even Wendy’s brother said of her that she always put the party first! QED.

Just one though... as Ed rambled on about broken SNP promises, does that mean that wee, whatisname will have to find something new to say? Shock!!!

Staying on the theme of the Labour bash, I note that they had Harriet McHarman there too on loan from England and the Wimins’ Lib Movement...

She upset people by referring to Danny Alexander as a “ginger rodent”. As Mike Smithson (Political Betting) asks, would Harman have been so quick to poke fun at ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation, as she was to point out sneeringly that Mr Alexander has red hair.... Did no one tell her that in THIS country there are quite a few people with fair skin and red hair... It’s a Celtic thang!

Clearly Miliband must have given her a carpeting because it didn’t take too long for her to apologise. A cheap laugh from the Jocks at conference Harriet, but it leaves you looking like a hypocritical fool... and we’ll remember at the next election! I wonder how many ginger votes Labour will get.

Oh dear.... Have I rambled?

Pics: Thersa May's kinky wellies; Fisty Cuffs What'isname; the top table at the SCOTTISH (huh) Labour Party Conference, and the Chief Secretary to the Treasury

THE LABOUR PARTY STARTS TO UNPICK BEFORE OUR VERY EYES

Ed Miliband's first conference speech as Labour leader may have been slightly overshadowed after David Miliband, who was sitting in the audience, was caught mouthing something to Harriet Harman who was sitting next to him.

Despite his public show of loyalty it’s clear that David is far from pleased, and his wife is said to be raging about the election.

In his speech Ed disowned a huge amount of what New Labour had done. He condemned tuition fees, lack of any real regulation of the City, and Brown's idiotic claim to have ended boom and bust.

However, when he got to the Iraq war, he described the decision to invade as "wrong". That was when his brother reacted. Miliband Snr turned to Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman who was sitting next to him applauding and said: "You voted for it, why are you clapping?"

Harman replied: "I'm clapping because he is the leader. I'm supporting him."

Shortly after that Ed mentioned that he had been nicknamed Forest Gump by some of David’s supporters, and the cameras swung to David who was shaking his head.

I doubt that in all honesty David Miliband will stay as a member of the shadow cabinet, but if he goes, and particularly if he resigns his seat so that he can carry on his ambitious career elsewhere, he is going to look like a huffy little man who didn’t get what he wanted, and surely Labour has had enough of that kind at the helm.... so they may have had a narrow escape.

After his own speech on Monday, when he made an appeal for Labour to unify behind Ed, his wife Louise was spotted in floods of tears backstage, and it is said that she is extremely angry that Ed stood, after he apparently advised David not to try to oust Brown a year and more ago. That he won by the narrowest of margins, and thanks to the section of the party that these people like the very least...the trade unionists....must be the saddest of blows to the Milibands Senior.

When asked about it, Ed said he hadn't seen it. He went on to praise his brother for his support in response to his speech.

David Miliband may not be the only person to have trouble with things that were said. Ed made it clear that he was against the tight restrictions the last government introduced, curtailing personal liberty with the excuse of the Bush/Blair “war against terror”. This put him at odds with Postman Pat, another trade unionist. And Ed has backed Ken Clarke’s policies of intelligent sentencing, which Jack Straw described as madness. (Jack Straw is more of a Michael Howard type of man.)

We shall see what the next few days bring, but as the papers are totally obsessed with this, now might be a good time to bury bad news as Labour comes apart at the stitches.

(In the second picture wee Spud looks as if he doesn't even recognise the guy on the platform, don't you think?)

CHARLES CLARKE DOES A BIT OF STRAIGHT TALKING

Over at http://www.charlesclarke.org.uk/ (Finding the Killer Instinct) the ex-Home Secretary lays out his views on the dilemma that Labour finds itself in today with regard to both policies and personlaities. I’ve never been a fan of Clarke’s but I found myself nodding at a large number of the comments he made.

Of course, as an English MP and an Englishman, he made no comment about the situation in Scotland, or for that matter in Wales, which I thought was a trifle remiss if he was indeed committed to an analysis of the overall situation. But Englishmen do see the situation in terms of England, and that is why we seek to have our own country, so there was no great surprise there.

Additionally at no time did he address himself to the inbuilt majority that Labour has. We know that around 10% lead to the Tories will give them a small majority, whereas a 6 or 7% lead to the Tories will bring in a hung parliament. A 3-4% Tory lead would probably still mean a Labour government.

These failings apart it is a good article and worth the read. He certainly says it like it like he sees it!!

MY GORDON, MY HUSBAND, MY HERO

Well, what a sickening carry on.

Mr Brown promised us a couple of years ago that he would never use his family for political gain. This was around the time when Cameron was showing videos of his family around the breakfast table and him doing the washing up in an attempt to demonstrate to the world that Eton Toffs know that dishes don’t just wash themselves.

So, having broken that promise last year when Mrs Brown came out on stage and introduced him (somewhat sentimentally) at the Labour Party Conference (in case some there didn’t know who he was), Mr Brown broke his promise and trotted her out again this year. (I suppose there could still be people who don’t know who he is.)

She talked about them being together for nine years; she talked about good times and bad that they’d had; she told us she knew he loved our country, whatever that is.

She actually had the cheek to say to the foregathered that she knew he would always put Labour Supporters first... No, I’m not joking. So that means that around 75% of us will always come second. Nice one Mrs Brown.... Didn’t you used to be in PR?

One of the things that she appreciated was the fact that being married to Gordon; “ many of you have invited us into your homes and workplaces and the hearts of your local communities.” Yes, that’s how it was when she went door knocking in Glenrothes. Invited in to carefully selected people’s houses in case she got the door slammed in her face doing ordinary canvassing like other party workers.

She dribbled a load of sentimental rubbish about being glad that it was her Gordon who had the job of Prime Minister because she’d seen what the job was like close up. Like she was some great expert on being prime minister.....

“Because we've been together so long, I know he's not a saint. He's messy. He's noisy. He gets up at a terrible hour. But I know he wakes up every morning and goes to bed every evening thinking about the things that matter.”

He's not a saint? Well, we knew that. He's devious and self serving. He's messy? Yep, all these Nokias and bits of occassional furniture must take a lot of clearing up, and I guess the sound of phone hitting wall must disturb the concentration required for a serious bit of twittering. And I wish he’d do more than just get up and go to bed thinking about these things that matter Mrs Brown. I wish he’d think about them in between....and bloody well do something about them.

All in all it was a completely sickening performance. Thank Goodness it will be his, and her, last.